The northlondonhippy

Archive for March 20th, 2006

(you can still win my old bong, click here for details!)

Dear peo­ple of Iraq,

Today marks the third anniver­sary of the American’s inva­sion of your coun­try. On behalf of the sane res­i­dents of our planet, I would like to take this oppor­tu­nity to apol­o­gise to you all of you for this. The great major­ity of us were against this unsanc­tioned and ille­gal mil­i­tary action at the time and our oppo­si­tion to it con­tin­ues to this day.

It falls on deaf ears; blind and dumb too. That is our fault because we keep re-electing these shit-heels. Again, I’m very sorry.

I know life wasn’t per­fect for you three years and a day ago, but who can deny that on a day-to-day basis all of your lives were better?

Three years and a day ago, you could walk to your local cor­ner shop and pur­chase a loaf of bread with­out wor­ry­ing that you might get blown up by a car bomb, or kid­napped for profit.

Three years and a day ago, you could switch on your lights and read at night, or watch tele­vi­sion. Today, you don’t get enough hours in the day with elec­tric­ity to do any of that very often.

Three years ago and a day, thou­sands of Iraqis were still alive and even more were phys­i­cally not injured. It’s the same for the thou­sands of Amer­i­can sol­diers that have been killed and count­less thou­sands more that have returned to the states per­ma­nently dis­abled for the rest of their lives.

Nobody wins.

Don’t believe me, then please READ THIS arti­cle from the Times, which is widely accepted as a fairly con­ser­v­a­tive news­pa­per here in the UK. The title of it, really says it all.

And when I hear that moth­er­fuck­ing cunt George W. (for “What a lia­bil­ity this man is to the entire planet!”) Bush talk about how he “won’t give up until there is vic­tory in Iraq!” What a load of unex­pur­gated bullshit!

Vic­tory over who, exactly? What defines vic­tory? And who exactly is the enemy?

Think about it. When the Amer­i­cans invaded three years ago, there was a gov­ern­ment in charge in Iraq. There is no deny­ing this. Sad­dam Hus­sein was in com­mand and every nation in the world dealt with him on that level. His gov­ern­ment had an exten­sive, though ulti­mately use­less mil­i­tary force, which even I wouldn’t deny, was “the enemy” three years ago.

It took the Iraqi army all of 10 sec­onds to dis­ap­pear, or “melt away into the back­ground”, as the pun­dits on the day kept telling me.

So who are they fight­ing now?

“The ter­ror­ists”. Yikes!

These ter­ror­ists weren’t in Iraq three years ago, not the for­eign ones any­way, like Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. And what brought them to Iraq?

No, not a bus. Well, maybe.

They’re all there because the Amer­i­cans are there and they’re such easy and attrac­tive tar­gets for them.

IED’s. Impro­vised, explo­sive devices. Road­side bombs. Sol­dier killers. It seems like for the “ter­ror­ists” it’s a bit like shoot­ing fish in a barrel.

There are two sets of vic­tims, the Iraqi peo­ple and the Amer­i­can troops and don’t think my sym­pa­thies aren’t equally with both. From what I know about the “all vol­un­teer” mod­ern Amer­i­can mil­i­tary, is that for a lot of these poor kids, sign­ing up for a tour of duty is their only option.

A uni­ver­sity edu­ca­tion in Amer­ica is pretty much a require­ment for most jobs. Just check out the clas­si­fied adverts in any Amer­i­can news­pa­per or web­site. The edu­ca­tion sys­tem in Amer­i­can, like every­thing else, is pri­vate, which makes it extremely expen­sive. The only way nor­mal folk can attend is if they can find grants, loans and scholarships.

And guess what, the mil­i­tary is an excel­lent source for all of those things!

And how about these poor fuck­ers stuck in the National Guard. They thought they were sign­ing up for a week­end a month and a full week a year of play­ing make believe sol­diers and now, some of them find that they have been in sta­tioned in the mid east for three years plus! Oooops!

The bot­tom line is sim­ple; things in Iraq are worse than they’ve ever been. Even the for­mer Prime Min­is­ter, the one hand­picked by the Amer­i­cans, said in an inter­view at the week­end, in no uncer­tain terms, that Iraqi is already in a civil war.

This war was started under false pre­tences. Shit, even I’m doing it now!

This war was started over a pack of fuck­ing bold faced lies! Noth­ing any­one tells us is true. The Amer­i­cans spoon-feed their cor­po­rate media cock­suck­ing fools noth­ing but bull­shit and they swal­low it deep and with­out question.

Ques­tion­ing any­thing is seen as unpa­tri­otic; as if you are aid­ing and abet­ting the ter­ror­ists. What a load of shit!

The most patri­otic thing you can do is tell the truth about your coun­try, for only with truth for all, can a true democ­racy flour­ish! Lies and men­dac­ity flour­ish in a total­i­tar­ian, Orwellian soci­ety where the thought police are out to main­tain the sta­tus quo, you’re neigh­bours are spy­ing on you and there’s a CCTV cam­era on every corner.

Wel­come to mod­ern Britain. Wel­come to the mod­ern world.

I worry over what lies will be com­ing next. I know that our lead­ers have no cred­i­bil­ity left and noth­ing they say about any future threats can be taken at face value.

If they can lie to us about some­thing as sig­nif­i­cant as a war in Iraq, they can lie to us about anything!

Let’s reverse the trend, let’s bring back truth, and hon­esty and dig­nity to our soci­ety. Let’s take pride in the deci­sions our lead­ers make on our behalf. Let’s do good for one and all and hold up every poten­tial action to close scrutiny, look­ing for that poten­tial good. And if none is to be found, then we must aban­don our plans and seek bet­ter ones, so that we all can have a bet­ter life every day!

I pro­pose we start in Iraqi. It’s our most recent and messi­est mess, so let’s sort it out first.

Hey, Iraqi peo­ple! Kurds, Sun­nis, Shias; I’m talk­ing to you! Don’t fight each other, that is just stu­pid! That’s only going to keep the Amer­i­cans occu­py­ing your coun­try even longer, not get them to leave!

You guys need to come together, peace­fully, calm things the fuck down, get organ­ised, tell the “Yan­kees to go home!” That’s the only way it’s going to happen.

For fuck’s sake, for decades you all got along under that gang­ster and thug who was run­ning your coun­try, why can’t you do it again?

Vic­tory should be defined sim­ply and for every­one. Vic­tory is every last Amer­i­can sol­dier going home; vic­tory is the Iraqi peo­ple tak­ing con­trol of their own coun­try. Vic­tory is not los­ing one more sin­gle life in this point­less, stu­pid, unjus­ti­fied, waste of time conflict.

Every­one who had a hand in exe­cut­ing this fool­ish­ness has blood on their hands and guilt in their hearts. Deep down, they all know that have com­mit­ted crimes against human­ity. I just don’t know how they can all live with themselves.

But it’s not too late for them, it’s still pos­si­ble to reverse the tide and even get some redemp­tion in the process. No one is beyond redemp­tion, if they want it badly enough!

George, Tony, make it sim­ple for every­one. Start scal­ing it all down; autho­rise your local com­man­ders to qui­etly nego­ti­ate with the local mili­tias and tribes. Do small, sim­ple, step-by-step deals, that grad­u­ally build trust between the two sides.

I know this is bold move, I know it goes against all of your he-man rhetoric, but needs must. Deep down, at our cores, we’re all just peo­ple. We all want the same things, a peace­ful, safe, sane, secure exis­tence. Some­times, talk­ing to your ene­mies is the only way to solve s conflict.

Every­one says they want the Iraqis to take con­trol of their own coun­try, well there’s the way to do it, cour­tesy of your favourite war-hating, peace-loving, north-London based hippy.

If they want to cre­ate real “shock and awe” on the occa­sion of the third anniver­sary of “shock and awe”, they should announce an ini­tia­tive to end the con­flict and bring every­one home. That would truly inspire shock and awe around the globe.

And you see, it’s not just a tag-line, I truly am a “mes­siah for the new millennium.”