The northlondonhippy

Archive for May, 2006

Here’s a quick blast from me before I head off for yet another fun-filled night at work.

The Inde­pen­dent news­pa­per here in the UK pub­lished an inter­est­ing arti­cle about the cur­rent pop­u­lar­ity in legal highs. Well duh!

As an early adopter and exper­i­menter with the sub­stances they men­tion, fol­low­ing the ban on shrooms last sum­mer, I’ve been on the cut­ting edge of this stuff for ages!

But do they come to ask me for a com­ment on the world of legal highs?

Do they fuck!

I guess I’m just too expen­sive for them! This hippy don’t come cheap!

It doesn’t mat­ter, I’m still happy to bring you a link to their arti­cle. The main point that mat­tered to me is that the gov­ern­ment has said they see no rea­son to review the sta­tus of any sub­stance cur­rently avail­able. That’s cool.

They also men­tion my friends at EDIT, who really are at the cut­ting edge of the mar­ket. They were big shroom-sellers up until the ban and they were quick to realise that a mar­ket con­tin­ued for legal, recre­ational sub­stances and have brought many great prod­ucts to the UK market.

After this lit­tle run of nights, I’ve got some well-deserved time off. Besides wrap­ping up work on one of my non-hippy related projects, I’m going to be check­ing out some more new prod­ucts to review for you. I’m really look­ing for­ward to get­ting off my face all in the inter­ests of improv­ing your life!

What other north Lon­don based-hippy has done that for you lately?

Since I started writ­ing about my love of RooR glass­ware, I’ve noticed a lot of peo­ple have been vis­it­ing look­ing for more infor­ma­tion about their pipes and bongs.

As always, I’m only too happy to help!

I’m not spy­ing on you, but I do like to see what search terms peo­ple use that bring them to me. Ok, I’m nosy, but if it were your blog, you’d be nosy too!

All RooR glass­ware is hand made to a very high stan­dard, from the small­est mini-steamroller to the top of the range Lit­tle Sista White Lines bong and every model in-between. The bongs are espe­cially sturdy, with a choice of wall thick­nesses right up to 7.0mm.

RooR stuff is also well designed and aes­thet­i­cally pleas­ing; it all looks very good. It’s all also easy to clean, using just a ket­tle full of boil­ing water and a lit­tle bit of RooR’s spe­cial bong cleaner.

By far, the most impor­tant thing about RooR pipes and bongs is this: how it smokes!

Being an old hippy, I’ve owned more pipes and bongs than you’ve prob­a­bly had hot din­ners. Well, I’ve owned dozens over the years, how many times have you eaten cooked food?

Ok, you won that round!

Glass pipes are taste neu­tral, so you get the full flavour of what­ever smok­ing herb you’re enjoy­ing. Like weed.

RooR pipes are designed to max­imise the flavour and the potency, they hit like a dream. I’ve never smoked from bet­ter pipes and that goes for all three mod­els that I per­son­ally own, the mini-steamroller, the Pocket Friend and my Lit­tle Sista Ice Mas­ter 3.0 bong. They rock!

What also makes RooR so good is the bowl sys­tem; the Pocket Friend and all of the bongs use inter­change­able bowls, which are also designed to enhance the expe­ri­ence. Com­bined with a RooR glass gauze, you have the per­fect cham­ber for ignit­ing your cho­sen herb. Again, weed.

I’ve cus­tomised my Lit­tle Sista with a RooR dif­fuser to replace the stan­dard down­pipe and that fur­ther improves the smooth­ness of the smoke. My next pur­chase will be the RooR Ash Catcher, which should com­plete my lit­tle collection.

I know that RooR is expen­sive, but then so is any­thing of real qual­ity that you might pur­chase and expect to per­form well and last for a very long time. You get what you pay for in this world and I can tell you from my expe­ri­ence, RooR is up there with Sony and Apple Com­put­ers as far as brands I trust that are very cool.

As a mat­ter of fact, since I’ve become one of the world’s biggest cheer­lead­ers for RooR, I’m think­ing about approach­ing them to do a spe­cial edi­tion northlon­don­hippy bong and then ask­ing my friends at EDIT if they would like to be the exclu­sive dis­trib­u­tors for it.

I would cus­tom design it myself, nat­u­rally and order the very first one as well. Then they could take pho­tos of it and list it on their web­sites to sell. And then you could buy one! It would be just like get­ting high with me every night only with less of me smok­ing all of your weed!

How fuck­ing cool would that be?

Hey ho hippyfans!

Is life grand or what?

“Or what” is my stan­dard reply to that ques­tion, but I’m a pessimist.

Ask me how I am and I’ll usu­ally tell you, “…Never better”.

And if pushed to elab­o­rate fur­ther I usu­ally pause briefly and say, “just right then… that was my life peak­ing. It’s never going to get bet­ter than that very moment that’s just passed I’m so glad it was you who got to share it with me.”

I’m fairly sar­cas­tic as well.

Don’t you wish you worked with me? I’m a bar­rel of fuck­ing laughs.

It’s Sun­day morn­ing, north Lon­don time. I’ve been home from work for a few hours and have been avail­ing myself of my brand new television.

It arrived on Thurs­day, but because of my erratic and vari­able work sched­ule, this was the first chance I’ve had to actu­ally watch any qual­ity tele­vi­sion programmes.

I went for the Sony Bravia KDL-32V2000 and I’m glad I did. At the moment they are regarded as the best LCD panel cur­rently on sale and from my lim­ited expe­ri­ence with it, I cer­tainly wouldn’t disagree.

The pic­ture from SKY+ (stan­dard def­i­n­i­tion) is razor sharp and the colours are rich and vivid. It pro­duces per­fect blacks; it has excel­lent con­trast, no motion blur and no dead pix­els. I’m very impressed.

My old Sony CRT set, pur­chased nearly nine years ago when it was already a dated model, served me very well, but com­pared to the new one, well, there is no com­par­i­son. For me it’s a giant leap into the 21st century….where rumour has it, I am a messiah.

It must be true; it says so at the top of your browser.

I’ve always had Sony tv’s, it’s a brand I trust. Dig it!

This morn­ing, I watched the lat­est episode of Dr. Who from BBC One and the penul­ti­mate episode of ER from E4.

I used to think penul­ti­mate meant the per­fect penis. Bad-dum-bum.

Dr. Who rocks and if you ever get the chance to see his recent incar­na­tion, I highly rec­om­mend it!

I wasn’t a Dr. Who fan before last year, but they’ve done such a great job with it that it doesn’t mat­ter if you are new to the fran­chise. The scripts are fan­tas­tic, the char­ac­ters sur­pris­ingly deep and emo­tional and the story lines are far more dra­matic than you would expect for what is essen­tially Sat­ur­day night, tea-time, fam­ily enter­tain­ment. Trust the hippy on this one!

Trust the hippy on everything!

ER is also con­sis­tently good and the final episode of the cur­rent series airs this com­ing Thurs­day. Mainly, in the cur­rent series, they’ve been quite polit­i­cal with the issues they’ve dealt with and the promis­ing slant they’ve taken on them.

They’ve high­lighted the dete­ri­o­rat­ing sit­u­a­tion in Dar­fur as well as drama­tis­ing the Iraq war; both in such a way that the aver­age (read Amer­i­can – sorry guys, but you’re inter­na­tional views do need broad­en­ing!) viewer could com­pre­hend. That’s a good thing and should be applauded.

Ok, I did applaud, but I felt really stu­pid stand­ing in my lounge clap­ping at my new tv. Even the cats looked at me a bit funny.

The other pro­gramme I’ve been dig­ging obscenely is Lost.

I know, I know, old news to my Amer­i­can friends, as the cur­rent series ended last week. Please don’t send me any spoil­ers; I’ve man­aged to suc­cess­fully avoid them so far!

The first series of Lost ended last Jan­u­ary on E4 and they said it was such a hit that they would bring us the 2nd series in the spring.

My idea of spring is the end of March. Chan­nel 4’s idea is the end of May. Bum­mer for the hippy.

I’ve been tempted to down­load, I mean acquire by legit­i­mate means, the entire 2nd series, as now that it has ended in the states, doing so would not be very dif­fi­cult. If I did, I could have a Lost fes­ti­val and screen 20-odd episodes over the space of a cou­ple of days…

Like I don’t have enough dis­trac­tions in my life.

And it’s Big Brother sea­son, which eats up a lot of time every day already. And you thought it wouldn’t get a men­tion in this entry. Well, it did and watch out for my next BB-centric post later this week.

Per­haps I should just stick to watch­ing Lost on E4; then it’s only an hour a week which is per­fectly manageable.

I’ve been rea­son­ably good lately about post­ing here, man­ag­ing a decent entry or two every week. I’m also still involved with a cou­ple of other ongo­ing projects and I work every hour that god sends. He sends lots, because he wanted me to have the new telly.

I’m one busy hippy! I should stop some­time soon and catch my breath!

My hard work here on northlondonhippy.com has not gone unre­warded as my vis­i­tor lev­els con­tinue to climb! Every month it seems I set a new record as you hip­py­fans go forth and multiply.

Which got me think­ing, what can I do to pro­mote this site even more?

And then I realised, you all can help and it won’t cost you more than a cou­ple of min­utes of your time.

Isn’t the plea­sure and unbri­dled joy I bring into your oth­er­wise bleak and dreary exis­tence wor­thy of a cou­ple of min­utes of your time. You can do it right where you are, from the com­fort and secu­rity of your PC.

No, I don’t want you to trans­fer money into my Niger­ian bank account; I’m sav­ing that scam for next month. No, what I want you to do is this:

Rec­om­mend my site to your friends. If you dig the hippy, chances are your mates will too. It will change their lives for the bet­ter, and isn’t that the goal of every right think­ing, decent per­son on the planet?

So it’s sim­ple, send http://northlondonhippy.com to half-a-dozen peo­ple in your email address book. Let them know about the coolest, most under­ground, hap­pen­ing web­site to ever grace the inter­net! They will thank and more impor­tantly, I will thank you!

And if you play your cards right, I’ll be thank­ing you in person!

How?

Sim­ple! My lat­est and great­est con­test is going to be launched next week!

You can “Win a week­end with the hippy!”

No, not at my cramped north Lon­don lair, I’m com­ing to stay at your house!

That’s right kids, the win­ner of my next con­test gets to host me for a week­end at their fab­u­lous coun­try home, or pala­tial Euro­pean cas­tle, or per­haps you’d like to treat to some 5-star hotel luxury!

What I’m say­ing here is you’re respon­si­ble for pro­vid­ing me with accom­mo­da­tion suit­able to the style of which I’m accus­tom. That means no sofas, sleep­ing bags or bed-shares with elderly rel­a­tives. Bed-shares will be con­sid­ered with your teenaged-daughters, pro­vided they are 16 or above and can keep a secret.

I’m pro­vid­ing my own trans­porta­tion, I’ll kick in for food, plus I’ll take you and your family/flatmates/partner/therapist out for a wicked meal at the restau­rant of your choos­ing, in your city or town.

In other words, you can’t say, “I want to eat at Nobu in NYC”. For starters, I’d never get a reser­va­tion. Oh and it’s in another country!

The con­test will be lim­ited to res­i­dents of the Euro­pean Union and any­where Easy­jet or Ryan Air have flights. Sorry North and South Amer­ica, the Mid-East, Africa, Asia and the Sub­con­ti­nent. Oh and Aus­trala­sia too!

I expect you to have a fun filled week­end planned for me that will include explor­ing your part of the world, site see­ing, drug tak­ing and oral sex.

In return, you’ll be sub­jected to my many mood swings and my non-stop sense of humour. If you piss your­self with laugh­ter, I’m not chang­ing your pants!

So watch out for the big announce­ment and be ready with your entry! This hippy might be com­ing to see you very soon!

The prob­lem with the begin­ning of Big Brother is this:

The strongest char­ac­ters get the most screen time and “strongest” in this con­text trans­lates into…

Obnox­ious, annoy­ing, aggres­sive, igno­rant, self-centred and stupid.

This isn’t always a bad thing. Except this time.

If you’ve even so much as glanced in the direc­tion of BB7, you will no doubt be aware of one par­tic­u­lar house­mate by the name of Shahbaz.

Or as he is known in the house She­bang, Shezam and any other bas­tardi­s­a­tion of his name you can think of and prob­a­bly a few that you can’t.

I’m strug­gling to describe Shah­baz because of my lefty, lib­eral, uber-PC lean­ings; I don’t wish to offend any­one. Per­haps it’s best if I use the descrip­tion he applies to him­self; he’s “Scot­tish Paki poof”, which I know is offen­sive on so many lev­els, to so many people.

Shah­baz is very gay, I believe in some cir­cles it’s referred to as “flam­ing”. He’s an inferno; he’s the hell­fire of gay.

He’s also Asian and a Muslim.

He’s a pro­po­nent of pos­i­tive discrimination’s dream.

Shah­baz says he’s been on the dole for 21 years, he’s claimed to have done time in prison, he’s been home­less and he pros­ti­tuted him­self out of sheer desperation.

As view­ers, we should have tremen­dous amounts of sym­pa­thy for this obvi­ously trou­bled 37-year-old man.

Before the series started, the tabloids dubbed Shah­baz the “house­mate from hell”. On rare occa­sions, even they can get it right.

Shah­baz is by far the most obnox­ious, over-the-top, out of con­trol, prob­a­bly clin­i­cally men­tally ill (I’ll come back to that) per­son to ever make it through the screen­ing process and onto a real­ity tv programme.

He is loud, aggres­sive, nasty, mean, cruel and self-destructive. He has prac­ti­cally threat­ened to kill him­self, say­ing on sev­eral occa­sions that he came into the house to die or he was already dead. He believes 50 mil­lion Mus­lims around the world want to kill him.

I think he is gen­uinely men­tally ill. I’m not jok­ing. I wish I were.

But here’s the twisted part, as I don’t have to live with him, I’m find­ing watch­ing his jaw-dropping behav­iour com­pelling view­ing and I’m secretly glad he’s immune from evic­tion this week.

I don’t think he will last that long any­way; he’ll walk or be dragged out by secu­rity. I think he may be hav­ing some sort of break­down. Maybe he’s always hav­ing one, just not live on my television.

How did he get through the screen­ing process? Shouldn’t the shrinks have picked up on his insta­bil­ity? And if they didn’t, then maybe BB needs some new ones.

Shah­baz is not the only men­tally unsta­ble house­mate; it seems like the major­ity of this year’s crop have a screw or two loose.

Nikki, the young girl who aspires to being a footballer’s wife who shops full time, had men­tal fits the other day because they wouldn’t sup­ply her with bot­tled water because she just can’t drink from the tap. Her tantrum was remark­able for it’s feroc­ity and intensity.

She scared the shit out of me and I’m a grown man, twice her age and 5 times her size! I was again riv­eted to my screen, but the fire depart­ment were able to free me with the “jaws of life”.

I could go on, but I’m not going to do one of those listy entries that talks about every house­mate. The fact is, the rest of them haven’t made as much as an impres­sion on me. There’s a cou­ple of sleazy geezers, a cou­ple of very young, imma­ture boys, a cou­ple of posh girls, a geezer­bird, a thick girl, a mus­cle mary, a porn star, a beauty queen and rav­ing queen.

And they are all my new best friends.

Am I that sadis­tic? Do I really take plea­sure in the pain of others?

I don’t think so, but I do find inter­per­sonal inter­ac­tions fascinating.

Ok, I’m sadis­tic. Are you satisified?

So are you, if you are enjoy­ing this year’s BB as much as I am!

I don’t rel­ish the pain I’m see­ing; I’m not rev­el­ling in it. I just can’t look away. I know these peo­ple all have deep-seated emo­tional prob­lems. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t want to be on tele­vi­sion 24/7 for three entire months!

Fun­da­men­tally, Big Brother has always been for head-cases that want to be on tele­vi­sion. What has changed over the years are two things: Our expec­ta­tions of what we con­sider out­ra­geous and the lengths that Ende­mol will go to exceed those expectations.

With every series, both of those vari­ables increase expo­nen­tially until we find our­selves watch­ing peo­ple self-destruct live on tele­vi­sion. The present series is going to be the mostly highly rated BB ever.

My evic­tion pre­dic­tion is not really a pre­dic­tion, but more of a plea. Let’s keep Nikki in the house!

I know it’s tempt­ing to vent your frus­tra­tions by vot­ing her out, she has been behav­ing like a spoiled lit­tle girl, but that’s pre­cisely the rea­son to keep her in the house.

If Nikki can explode like she did on day 2, just imag­ine what she will be like on day 22 or 52. Don’t you want to see how insane she can get?

Instead vote out Bonnah.

Yes, I know it’s really Bon­nie and yes, I am tak­ing the piss out of her accent. Sue me.

Bon­nie is thick, Bon­nie is dull, Bon­nie is not going to brighten up your sum­mer with her witty repar­tee and insight­ful obser­va­tions. She is just going to lurk on the fringes and go unno­ticed as long as she can.

Bon­nie must go, but that’s a rec­om­men­da­tion and not a prediction.

My pre­dic­tion comes back to the very first thing I said in this entry; that the strongest char­ac­ters get the most screen time. And at the begin­ning, the peo­ple who get the most screen time are usu­ally the most dis­liked. That’s why the real scream­ing nut­ters always go early, it’s neg­a­tive vot­ing. You vote for the one you hate the most.

Let’s not make the same mis­takes we’ve made in pre­vi­ous series. Let’s main­tain the level of insan­ity as long as we can! I don’t want to see Nikki go, but I fear her lit­tle bunny-clad bot­tom will be wrig­gling out the front door come Friday.

As always, I wel­come your com­ments, but please, not your spam!

UPDATE ON WEDNESDAY MORNING!

Shah­baz walked out on Tues­day evening!

It’s get­ting closer to my favourite time of the year; Big Brother sea­son is nearly upon us as series 7 starts tomor­row night on Chan­nel 4!

No, I’m not being sar­cas­tic; I really am a big fan of Big Brother. I’ve been a fan since the first series here in the UK.

Actu­ally, strike that, I knew I was going to love it even before then when I first heard about.

Big Brother started in the Nether­lands and I believe the first series was in 1999.

I was away doing some work in The Hague while it was on-air and every­one local I spoke to told me about this amaz­ing tv programme.

These peo­ple explained that the pro­duc­ers locked a group of peo­ple in a house and filmed them inten­sively 24-hours a day. They told me about stream­ing cov­er­age on the inter­net and vot­ing some­one out every week by tele­phone poll. They told me everything!

They also told me these ordi­nary peo­ple who were the house­mates had become celebri­ties already, with those evicted early on launch­ing pop music careers and other low-level media activities.

I grasped the con­cept and thought it was pure genius straight away. It is just so sim­ple and so com­pelling; I knew peo­ple would be inter­ested in it, in any coun­try it was produced.

But mainly, what really caught my atten­tion was the enthu­si­asm from every­one who men­tioned the show; it was as if they had dis­cov­ered this tele­vi­sual gem them­selves and wanted to share their find with you in a very per­sonal way.

Not long after I returned to the UK, I read that the pro­duc­tion com­pany in Hol­land (now a cash-rich global media empire!) was licens­ing the for­mat around the world. The UK’s first series aired in the sum­mer of 2000.

As some of you may know, I’m more than just an aver­age tv junkie and couch potato. I’ve worked in the indus­try for over 20 years now and have been a big viewer since I was a child. It wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say tele­vi­sion is my life in many ways.

I’ve always been glued to the tv screen and wher­ever I am, there’s a tv switched on, not far from me. Right now, as I write this, my tv is on in the back­ground. Tele­vi­sion has been a con­stant pres­ence in my life.

Even as a kid, I wanted to work in tele­vi­sion (or film pro­duc­tion, but that’s another story for another day). I dig tv and it digs me. I stud­ied film and tv pro­duc­tion at uni­ver­sity. I don’t know how to do much else, at least in terms of mak­ing a living.

I can smoke weed like a pro and I write a hel­luva lot, but nei­ther of these activ­i­ties turns me any profit. Yet.

So when I say I love tele­vi­sion, you can believe me.

I want to buy a new set, by the way, a Sony Bravia KDL-32V2000U if you must know, but at the moment they are still expen­sive and not read­ily available.

Our 4x3, 28 inch, CRT Sony is nearly 9 years old and over­due to replac­ing! Mrs. Hippy has finally agreed to this pur­chase and I applied for a John Lewis price match this very morn­ing in an attempt to get a great deal with a 5-year war­ranty. But this is another story as well best left for another day even though this summer’s series of Big Brother is going to be widescreen! I want one now!

See, I’m digress­ing. I hate when I do that.

Big Brother. Oh yes.

I couldn’t wait for the first series to begin. Back when it was new, it was seen as a social exper­i­ment; real cut­ting edge tele­vi­sion. It’s suc­cess sparked the explo­sion in reality-based tv shows.

I’ve always worked nights, for more years than I care to count and Big Brother is per­fect night­shift view­ing. No, I don’t mean when they are asleep, but when they are drunk and tired and emo­tional and the sparks fly!

The first series brought us “Nasty Nick” Bate­man, who tried to “cheat” on this oth­er­wise hon­ourable show. The entire nation was trans­fixed as this posh, pub­lic school­boy was taken down sev­eral pegs by Craig Philips (the even­tual win­ner) and the other con­tes­tants dur­ing a con­fronta­tional house meet­ing. It was riv­et­ing view­ing and peo­ple talked about it for ages.

And dur­ing the sec­ond series, when Paul and Helen were flirt­ing so out­ra­geously and their “will they-won’t they” love story was blos­som­ing, every­one in my office was spell­bound as they watched this unfold on their screens. Paul and Helen are still together as well as being fel­low res­i­dents of north Lon­don. Trust me, their bit is far more upmar­ket than my ghetto hell!

And series three was another win­ner, which brought us Jade Goody, who has sus­tained a career in the media far longer than any­one could have predicted.

Series three also marked a bit of a depar­ture, as it was a slightly meaner, more down­mar­ket ver­sion. I liked it, but pro­duc­ers clearly didn’t, because the fol­low­ing series, num­ber four, was it’s dullest.

Series four was won by a thirty-something Chris­t­ian vir­gin; need I say any more? It did fea­ture uber-geek, John Tickle though, so it wasn’t a total loss. Tickle was extremely amus­ing, even if it was largely unin­ten­tional on his part.

Big Brother five returned to form with another shot aimed at a low demo­graphic. It was note­wor­thy for fight night and for bring­ing us a real group of screaming-crazy wannabees! It also allegedly brought us the first full sex­ual encounter (unless you’re unlike Bill Clin­ton and DO count a BJ as sex, in which case please see series three).

The win­ner of series five was Nadia, a Por­tuguese trans­sex­ual, or “por­tugeezer” as she was dubbed by the tabloids. I’m a rav­ing lib­eral, more tol­er­ant than most, but I even I could see that this was becom­ing a mod­ern day freak show.

And I don’t see any­thing wrong with that either. It makes good television!

Last year’s series was quite sim­i­lar to the pre­vi­ous, more screaming-wannabees, more sex, more twists, more fun! I loved last years as much as the first series; pos­si­bly even more.

As our tol­er­ance for the weird and wacky grows, the pro­duc­ers have to push the bound­aries fur­ther. That’s a good thing!

For me, more than any­thing else, I just like the for­mat. Lock­ing a group of peo­ple in a small, con­fined space, for a lengthy period of time and film­ing it, is pure genius.

I’ve also enjoyed the celebrity ver­sions, espe­cially the last one a few months back, but if I am being hon­est, I do pre­fer see­ing “real peo­ple” in the house even more.

But are these “real peo­ple”? What is a “real person”?

If the leaks in the papers are true, this series promises two hot female mod­els, two cross-dressing men; one of the cross-dressers suf­fers from Tourette’s syn­drome and has an eleven-inch cock that he likes to flash. If any of them walk through the door tomor­row night, it’s going to be a fun sum­mer of view­ing but are these “real people”?

Do you know any­one who sounds like this?

If you do than your social cir­cles are obvi­ously wider and more inter­est­ing than my own!

The fact is, we won’t know for sure who is enter­ing the house until Thurs­day night and I’m count­ing the sec­onds! That’s all part of the fun!

And there’s already a twist, even before the pro­gramme has started. Per­haps you’ve read about the “golden ticket” com­pe­ti­tion already, but if not I’ll explain.

Hid­den inside ran­dom KitKat choco­late bars are one hun­dred “golden tick­ets” and each ticket gives the lucky loca­tor of said ticket a chance to become a house­mate in this series. I think the idea is they will screen the one hun­dred down to some­thing like ten peo­ple and then have a pub­lic vote to choose the one to go inside the house.

If I find a “golden ticket” I wouldn’t use it to play the game. I’m not stu­pid; I don’t want to be on Big Brother myself. You would have to be seri­ously men­tally defi­cient to want to sub­ject your­self to that ordeal! No, if I found a ticket, I would quickly flog it to a tabloid news­pa­per and I would aim to get at least ten-grand for it! And if you find one, you should do the exact same thing!
Just because I enjoy watch­ing BB, doesn’t mean I would want to be a par­tic­i­pant. I may be a crazeeee hippy, but I am not cer­ti­fi­ably insane!

Ok, that may be up for some debate, but I believe it’s true and isn’t that what really counts?

Here’s the deal: I’m aim­ing to blog about BB more for­mally this year and I’m plan­ning one entry a week ded­i­cated to the sub­ject. This series is going to run 13 weeks this sum­mer, so that means 13 more entries like just this one.

So if you’re like me and you like Big Brother, this is the place to be! And like every­thing else I write about, you’ll get a clear view of the truth, uncen­sored and unadul­ter­ated with that patented hippyspin!

Betcha just can’t wait for more!

They the uni­verse is expand­ing continually.

That’s what all those geniuses say.

So if you think about it, every­thing in the uni­verse must be expand­ing along with it.

There­fore we must be expand­ing too, at the exact same rate.

That’s what this hippy-pseudo-genius says.

Why don’t we notice this expansion?

Sim­ple.

We don’t notice as we expand because the imple­ments that we use to mea­sure these things are expand­ing right along with us. But because of scale and pro­por­tion, we seem the same size all the time.

So if you used a tape mea­sure to see how tall you were and you were 6 foot and the uni­verse expanded by 10 feet overnight, you wouldn’t be 16 feet tall the next day. That would just be crazy!

No, what hap­pens is that you and the tape mea­sure both expand at the exact same pro­por­tions, so when you mea­sure your­self, it still comes up to the same old six.

But what if we really are expand­ing? I believe we are, all the time, just like the universe.

Can I have my Nobel Prize for sci­en­tific inno­va­tion now please? You can just post it to me, I don’t want to go to Oslo or Stock­holm; I’ll make my accep­tance speech by shout­ing loudly out the win­dow of my north Lon­don lair. My neigh­bours are used to it, but you can come along and lis­ten if you want.

Am I doing your head in? Have I cracked your nut?

I’ve been awake for nearly 25 hours and I’m very high right now. What’s your excuse?

I’m going to go to sleep soon. I need sleep. Sleep is good.

I never dream. I do more than enough of that when I’m awake.

Hello my friends and hippyfans.

It’s a glo­ri­ous spring day in north Lon­don, but rather than enjoy it in a nice park some­where, I’m here in front of my com­puter, think­ing of fun ways to enter­tain you.

I’m all about enter­tain­ing you; it’s my rea­son for living!

Besides, all the parks around here are full of drug gangs and crack­heads. Per­haps remain­ing at home is the safer option.

But enough of my urban para­noia, I’m here because I stum­bled upon a new fea­ture on Google, which amused me enough to men­tion here.

On Google’s UK home­page today, they added a link to a brand new beta ser­vice, called “Google Trends”.

Basi­cally, it’s a way to check to see how often a cer­tain search term is used over a period of time. I don’t know what its good for, but it sure is cool.

Nat­u­rally, the first word I plugged into it was “fuck”.

Ok, so I’m child­ish, puerile even. At least it led to some inter­est­ing information.

The num­ber one city search­ing for the word “fuck” is Delhi, in India. Who knew?

But the real rev­e­la­tion is when you switch over to see what region (as the header says) or coun­try is search­ing for the word “fuck” the most.

Accord­ing to Google, it’s Iran. Yes, Iran.

I won­der what the mul­lahs will think of that?

But it goes to show you that peo­ple are peo­ple, wher­ever they come from. It’s really true; we’re all not that dif­fer­ent. We all like to Google the word “fuck”.

It doesn’t really mat­ter what your nation­al­ity is; we’re all earth­lings. I wish you all greet­ings from planet earth.

Wouldn’t the world be a bet­ter place if we saw our­selves as earth­lings first? That’s what we are. National bor­ders are silly; immi­gra­tion restric­tions are even sil­lier. We all share this planet and we should share it equally.

Why should any­one be con­demned to spend their entire lives on the spot where they were born? Some places are bet­ter to be born than oth­ers, but we can be nomadic. We should be able to travel wher­ever we want, when­ever we want, for as long as we want.

It just seems sensible.

Are we all equal? In the­ory, yes, but not in prac­tise. We should be and that includes the free move­ment of people.

Do you realise that com­mer­cial goods move around the planet with more free­dom than we do? Am I the only one who sees the moral dilemma in that statement?

Look at Amer­ica, as I fre­quently do and their prob­lems with their “guest work­ers”. Even the term is fucked. Have you ever put a guest to work in your own home? Wouldn’t that just be the rud­est thing you could do to a visitor?

What would hap­pen if we just stopped all bor­der con­trols? We could just greet each other with a hail and hearty “hello fel­low earth­ling”. Would that really be so bad?

Of course it wouldn’t! It would be one more giant step towards Utopia!

And that title ain’t no lie, fuckers!

I’m high as a kite; I’m as high as the sky. I’m so high, so high, SO high!

I’ve been test-driving “The Big Grin” from Funk Pills and I’m dig­ging these lit­tle fuck­ers very much. I’ll be order­ing some more of them.

I took one pill around 12:30pm and was pleas­antly sur­prised that by 1:30pm, I was feel­ing some mild, yet pro­nounced effects.

Ini­tially, I found it slightly euphoric, with a sub­tle under­tow of being mon­ged. My vision became sharper as well.

I took a sec­ond dose around 2:30pm and now it is two hours after that. It’s much more euphoric, sen­sual and uplift­ing while being more com­fort­ably mon­ged. Colours are quite vibrant, my vision is razer sharp.

I like ‘em these ones good!

The nicest thing about them is they are not speedy at all; no rac­ing heart, no rest­less­ness. You could quite eas­ily watch a film or go out and talk utter crap to strangers for hours.

I had some com­ments from a long time hip­py­fan called Mesh­man which I thought I would share with you. Here’s his mes­sage to me:

“hello mr hippy, i often pop in here and check what you are up too — wasnt happy to hear about your pur­ple ohm exp, hope you were ok in the end , how­ever i was sur­prised at you for tak­ing more than rec­om­mended — you should know better !!!!

any­ways i felt it pru­dent to dis­pel the myth that you per­pet­u­ate re :- piper­azines. They are not an extract or deriv­a­tive of any nat­ural sub­stance — they dont occur in nature at all — in fact they are more related to Via­gra than Pep­per! Piper­azines are tra­di­tion­ally used to elim­i­nate Worm infec­tions in humans — yes WORMS !!

The orig­i­nal ‘made from pep­per‘ line was spun to help ease the pos­si­ble legal­ity / accep­tance of these com­pounds when they began appear­ing in NZ as a harm reduc­tion tool. They do have a resem­blance to piperi­dine which is a con­stituent of piper­ine which is found in the black pep­per plant, hence the link.

Some info here -

http://www.shaman-australis.com.au/Website/law/Piperazine/index.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piperazine

stay safe and always fol­low the instruc­tions on the pack !!!

- mesh­man”

He’s right on every­thing he’s said. Pay atten­tion kids!

On my ill-fated Pur­ple Ohm fest, which was back in Jan­u­ary, I did indeed exceed the stated dosage, which is why I had such a bad time on them. I have copped to this before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever tried to explain.

My only expe­ri­ence with piper­azines at that point was lim­ited to PEPs and it is very com­mon for peo­ple to exceed the dosage, if what you read in forums online is any­thing to go by. It was the same with other herbal highs I had pre­vi­ously tried; to get any­where you needed to take a lot.

Piper­azines aren’t nor­mal, herbal highs! They are strong and you should all fol­low meshman’s advice and learn from my mistake!

I am hav­ing real trou­ble form­ing coher­ent sen­tences at the moment. I’m not up to my usual game. I’m mon­ged and not complaining!

Even bet­ter, when my order from EDIT came yes­ter­day, it had an extra, free sam­ple pack of Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk). How cool is that?

I’m going to go back to being a sofa zom­bie on this fine Fri­day after­noon. I’ve just packed up my RooR mini steam­roller and I’m going to float away happy.
Don’t you all want me to be happy? Don’t you? Don’t you??

Hey ho hippyfans!

It’s a brand new month, but don’t worry, that means it’s still under war­ranty, so you can return it if you are not 100% satisfied!

I worked like a dog last month; that is if you know any dog­gies who put in some­thing like 200 hours of night­shift­ing in around three weeks! My guess is; you don’t.

Unless, you work on the bomb squad. With a snif­fer dog. And it’s been a very busy month for impro­vised devices.

And I bet you don’t do any of that either!

I spent last week as a semi-vegetable; one that required mas­sive amounts of sleep and soft drugs. I can’t say I did much more than kill time all last week, now this week I have to bury it.

It’s not that I didn’t have any­thing to do, for in truth I had loads I could have done. I have other projects ongo­ing of a cre­ative nature as well as one that is reach­ing fruition and will be shortly avail­able in print. Because of my lack of activ­ity, that’s now behind schedule.

I’ve also got this blog. Don’t tell me you couldn’t have done with a dose of the hippy last week?

You need a lit­tle hippy in your life everyday!

So I’ve got no excuses except I was tired. And I’m old and get­ting older, but I’ve more than cov­ered that sub­ject, so we’ll give it a miss today.

In terms of relax­ation and recre­ation, I revis­ited an old friend, Mr. Piperazine.

I took some PEP Twisted over the week­end and I must say that they are very enjoy­able. I think my unfor­tu­nate and com­pletely self-inflicted OD on Pur­ple Ohms put me off these par­tic­u­larly effec­tive legal highs a bit, but now I’m back and ready to party.

More than that, I’m ready to sam­ple some of the next generation!

There’s plenty of new pills on the mar­ket and my friends at EDIT seem to stock them all. They’ve added a few new ranges that I plan on try­ing soon; purely for research pur­poses, so I can come here and review them just for you!

You see, I’m still liv­ing that hippy life, so you don’t need to! Although you can if you want; I’m not stop­ping you. Your mort­gage is!

A few of these new pills have caught my eye. The next one’s on my list to try are called Speed­balls and they are unique in that they are a mix of BZP/TFMP blend plus and this is the inter­est­ing ingre­di­ent; kratom.

I’ve not tried Kratom before, so I am inter­ested in what these pills will do. I also ordered some 15xKratom extract, which I will be sam­pling soon as well.

The pills that really look inter­est­ing are a range of caps called Funk Pills. Funk Pills come in wide vari­ety, they are rumoured to be strong and effec­tive. Ini­tial reports so far have been very favourable. The two that I’m going to order next are Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk) and the Big Grin, which you can check out for your­self if you really want to know about them. That’s why I spend all this extra time includ­ing all these extra-special hippylinks!

The last one that is on my list of fun things to do soon are from the orig­i­nal PEP peo­ple and they are called PEP X. They are sup­posed to be the strongest, most MDMA like pills avail­able, but they are so new that there is very lit­tle feed­back avail­able, so I will have to judge for myself.

All of these pills are in their third or fourth gen­er­a­tion. This means as they tin­ker with the ingre­di­ents and refine the ratios and such, they are becom­ing more effec­tive with fewer side effects. Good news for everyone!

You might be sur­prised to find that most, if not all of these pills con­tain vit­a­mins and other revi­tal­is­ing com­pounds to min­imise the poten­tial ill effects of the drugs in the mix.

If you want far more real-world infor­ma­tion than I could ever pro­vide you with myself, I would sug­gest you check out the Legal Highs forum on EDIT. There’s a wealth of info and expe­ri­ence avail­able and it always pays to do your home­work before play­ing around with any new sub­stance or drug. It’s good to learn from other’s mis­takes, so you don’t have to make them yourself.

I make a lot mis­takes, so you don’t have to!

Here’s a hippy hint: Drink a rea­son­able amount of fluid when you take piper­azines. They are a bit of a diuretic, which means you will piss a lot and that fluid needs to be replaced.

Here’s another hippy hint: Don’t choose booze as your fluid. Why? Because alco­hol dehy­drates you and so does piper­azine, and the com­bi­na­tion means you will end up with the nas­ti­est hang­over of your life the next day if you overindulge in liquor.

Now a lit­tle his­tory: These pills became pop­u­lar in New Zealand first, where the very sen­si­ble gov­ern­ment pro­motes them as “harm min­i­mal­i­sa­tion solu­tions” because they keep you away from street drugs. That’s no bad thing, because with street drugs you never know what you are going to get.

Or more fre­quently, not get as you won’t know until after you’ve spent you money and wasted a night wait­ing to come up on some pills you bought from some guy in some club, who told you they were super-duper strong E’s the best he ever had!

These are con­sis­tently made to the same stan­dard, kind of like Big Mac’s. You can walk into any McDon­alds, any­where in the world and order a Big Mac and it will be exactly like any other Big Mac you’ve ever had. Brand con­sis­tency or some other mar­ket­ing wank-speak.

Piper­azine is an extract of pep­per. Fuck knows what is in those pills you buy in a club! All the really cool kids have already fig­ured out that these legal highs are bet­ter, cheaper and more depend­able than street drugs. Isn’t it time you dis­cov­ered them too?

And now for the hippy dis­claimer: Although these drugs are legal, they are still drugs and should be treated as such. They are not candy, even if Pur­pleOhms are grape flavoured.

Be sen­si­ble, be smart and treat them with respect. All it’s going to take to piss all over our party (again) is some stu­pid kid tak­ing way too many of these legal pills and before you know it, a photo of the kid on life-support is in all the news­pa­pers and the kid’s par­ent start some lame action group to get them banned!

Just say no to reck­less abuse!

Always fol­low the instruc­tions on the pack­ag­ing and be respon­si­ble when you party. Don’t drive when you’re fucked up. Go some­place and dance your ass off instead!