The northlondonhippy

Archive for June, 2006

It was exactly 25 years ago this month that I began my career as a daily cannabis smoker.

I didn’t first try it then; my first expe­ri­ence with weed was around 2 years before that. I smoked it once, or rather tried to and didn’t get even slightly high. While I count this expe­ri­ence as my first, it is prac­ti­cally unre­lated to my con­tin­ued use of my beloved dope.

In June 2001, at the age of 18, I prop­erly smoked it for the first time, get­ting that sweet smoke deep into my lungs and get­ting right­eously stoned to the gills! I was at a party and a friend of mine took the time to teach me how to smoke.

That may sound silly, but I wasn’t a smoker at the time. I didn’t really know how to get the smoke into my lungs with­out cough­ing it back up. If it weren’t for my friend’s patience, I might never have dis­cov­ered how won­der­ful weed could be!

Get­ting high for the first time was a rev­e­la­tion to me; it opened my mind up to all sorts of thoughts and feel­ings. More than that; it was as if I dis­cov­ered a part of me that was miss­ing for my entire life.

Mar­i­juana made me feel complete.

I know that’s a bold state­ment, but I gen­uinely believe it is true. I’ve often joked that I was miss­ing a gland to secrete THC into my blood­stream and my con­stant dope smok­ing was sim­ply me fill­ing that gap.

Some peo­ple might say it’s a form of self-medication and I don’t know that I would dis­agree. At var­i­ous times in my life, weed has helped me with depres­sion, anx­i­ety and a host of other neu­ro­sis that per­co­late in my brain.

Yes, I’m biased when it comes to cannabis.

After that first night at the party, when I got prop­erly stoned, I knew I needed to learn more about dope. I started hang­ing around with heavy-duty dope smok­ers and I got to know some dealers.

Back then, the weed I was get­ting came from Colom­bia; it was brown and com­pressed and tasted like shit. It was also cheap, a whole ounce cost­ing less than an 1/8th of an ounce of skunk weed does today.

We called it dirt weed, but it got you high. It was loaded with seeds and stems and clean­ing them out on a double-album cover took ages.

I smoked noth­ing but dirt weed for a cou­ple of years and then I met a brand new dealer who had some­thing he called “indica”, which we now know as skunk. It had been grown hydro­pon­i­cally and looked liked bright green stalks of cau­li­flower, the size of baby’s fists.

This was the first time I ever saw proper buds and it would have been 1983 I think.

This “indica” was in a dif­fer­ent class from the dirt weed I was used to; it tasted sweet and pun­gent and was much stronger. It took my dope smok­ing to a dif­fer­ent level and this new guy had it all the time.

At one point, around the same period, he had some­thing he called “choco­late Thai weed”, which had a slight taste of choco­late about it and pro­duced a dif­fer­ent high to the “indica”.

The “Thai weed” was more of a body high and it glued you to the sofa in front of the tv for hours. The “indica” was more cere­bral and you could func­tion and get on with your life.

Nat­u­rally, I enjoyed both.

At one point, I decided I would try to deal a bit myself; the only time I’ve ever attempted this. I bought a quar­ter pound of the “choco­late Thai”, with the clever idea of sell­ing three ounces, thus mak­ing the fourth one free. This is a com­mon pric­ing plan with drugs.

Except I didn’t sell any of it, I smoked it all myself. And I never bought that much in one go ever again. I learned my les­son; some peo­ple can deal with deal­ing and some peo­ple can’t. I can’t; I love the stuff too much.

When I moved away from that area to the big city, my dope habit moved right along with me. The big city was NYC and the year was 1985.

I started out by buy­ing my dope in a local park that I passed through every day. Not the smartest way to score, but being new in town and going to uni­ver­sity, it was the done thing.

At first scor­ing weed on the street was easy; deal­ers were scat­tered all over the park, hiss­ing the word “sensi” at all passers-by.

It was sim­ply mat­ter of swap­ping ten dol­lars for a small bag of weed as quickly as pos­si­ble, then walk­ing away. My grand­mother could have done it.

And then it all changed.

You can’t men­tion drugs on the streets of NYC in the mid-to-late 80’s with­out talk­ing about the arrival of crack cocaine. Crack changed everything.

The first change was that the guys who used to say “sensi” changed their mantra to “crack it up”. Then the “sensi” changed; I got ripped off for the first time. I was sold “wack weed”.

“Wack weed” was fake herbal cannabis, pur­chased in a head­shop for sig­nif­i­cantly less than actual weed. It was meant to be a sub­sti­tute for the real thing, much like today’s herbal smok­ing mix­tures. The main dif­fer­ence being that “wack weed” was shaped like buds and visu­ally you couldn’t tell the difference.

The only dis­tinc­tion between the two could be dis­cerned by smelling them, which is a time con­sum­ing and very telling thing to do when try­ing to do a quick and dirty drug deal on the street. But needs must, so now every­one was smelling the lit­tle baggy to make sure it had the real thing inside.

The crack­heads got wise to this quickly and adapted their game. They began to put a tiny pinch of skunk on top of the “wack weed”, so that when you smelled it, you really thought you were get­ting what you needed. It was only when you got home and went to roll a spliff that you’d dis­cover you’d been ripped off, again!

It was time to take my busi­ness else­where; luck­ily my younger brother was hav­ing bet­ter luck than I was and he hooked me up with a middled-aged Euro­pean woman who qui­etly dealt from her Man­hat­tan flat. I shopped with her for around 6 years, until I moved to London.

Dur­ing that time, other sources would occa­sion­ally become avail­able and they were any­thing from a store­front in lower Man­hat­tan that sold it over the counter, until the queues of stockbroker-types on a Fri­day night got so long that the cops got hip to it, right through to a high-end deliv­ery ser­vice, stock­ing gourmet vari­eties at a pre­mium price. Now those were the good old days!

My Euro­pean friend was very reg­u­lar as well and droughts with her were few and very far between. I was well-served with decent weed until I arrived in Lon­don in the early 90s.

Back then, all you could get in Lon­don was hash; black rocky or some­times Lebanese red. Nei­ther was par­tic­u­larly pleas­ant to smoke, but it was bet­ter than noth­ing. Rocky has an espe­cially deserved rep­u­ta­tion for being nasty and is rumoured to con­tain any­thing from shoe pol­ish to camel shit. Yum.

My semi-regular vis­its to Ams­ter­dam were the only times I got to enjoy decent weed for the first few years I lived in Lon­don and some of the weed I had there was the best I’d ever smoked…until I grew my own.

About 13 years ago, I had a small indoor gar­den along with 2 friends of mine. We split the costs, the work and the weed and that freshly grown skunk was unbe­liev­ably good! We only turned 2 crops around before we had to give it up due to the loss of the location.

The main prob­lem with grow­ing skunk weed is the stench, if you think it smelly badly sit­ting in a plas­tic bag, imag­ine what its like when its alive and breath­ing on the vine!

I haven’t had the oppor­tu­nity to grow any myself since then, but do dream of the day when I have the space and can be fully self-sufficient.

Lucky for me, other peo­ple all over Lon­don took up the man­tle and fresh skunky weed has never been more plen­ti­ful. I had a mate who was par­tic­u­larly help­ful on that score for many, many years, but he’s now retired and hung up his hydroponics.

These days, I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy, so it’s not as straight for­ward as I would like it to be, but still I’m nearly never with­out, touch wood.

For most peo­ple, cannabis is a bit of recre­ational fun, but for oth­ers, like me, it’s a lifestyle, a reli­gion, and a rea­son to feel good all the time.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t psy­cho­log­i­cally depen­dent on mar­i­juana, but I’m not addicted to it.

I am addicted to tobacco, so I can tell the dif­fer­ence. I can go with­out weed and do when­ever I travel, whereas I can’t go more than a cou­ple of hours with­out a cigarette.

I’m not say­ing that being depen­dent on it is a good thing for every­one, but it is cer­tainly a good thing for me.

If it weren’t for smok­ing dope every day, I can’t hon­estly say to you I would be sit­ting here right now, spew­ing my spe­cial brand of dri­vel to an ever-increasing audi­ence of appre­cia­tive hippyfans.

I can’t say that I would be here at all.

I do mean that. Weed has saved my life more than once and prob­a­bly will again in the future.

With the excep­tion of a cou­ple of brief gaps, I’ve been employed full­time for most of my adult life, I’m con­sci­en­tious and hard work­ing. I pay my taxes and mainly break only one law; I’m excep­tion­ally respon­si­ble and moral and in all of my actions. Even my car is envi­ron­men­tally friendly.

I’m a good per­son, I just choose to smoke mar­i­juana in the pri­vacy of my own home; a choice that as an adult, should be mine to make.

Remem­ber, I speak from expe­ri­ence, twenty-five years of it. Maybe its time some­one should lis­ten to me!

Decrim­i­nalise cannabis now! We’re doing noth­ing wrong!

Greet­ings BB fans! I’m glad you could drop by.

It takes a BB fan with a cer­tain high level of intel­li­gence and style to fully appre­ci­ate my spe­cial brand of BB dri­vel, so well done you for find­ing me!

Here at northlondonhippy.com, we’re aware that you have a wide vari­ety of BB colum­nists to choose from, so thank you for choos­ing the hippy!

So are you dig­ging the show so far?

Well, I sure am! But as I’ve said before, I’m a sucker for the for­mat. I guess I’m just a voyeur at heart, but aren’t we all?

Don’t get me wrong, as much as I enjoy Big Brother, there are things I don’t like about it as well, and I don’t just mean that dull as dish­wa­ter, Suzie Ver­rico. I had such high hopes for her! Oh well, you can’t win them all.

Take a moment and imag­ine that your home or work­place was wired up with cam­eras and you could eaves­drop on the pri­vate con­ver­sa­tions of peo­ple you know. You’d watch that, wouldn’t you? I bet you wouldn’t be able to look away!

It’s the same with strangers; the oppor­tu­nity to view the for­bid­den is extremely appeal­ing. It’s nor­mal to want to see what you shouldn’t see, we’re all curi­ous about what should be secret.

We all know what it feels like to be slag­ging some­one off, only for them to walk into the room and be greeted to an awk­ward silence. On BB, you can actu­ally see it happening.

For exam­ple, a cou­ple of nights ago on the high­lights pro­gramme, Lea Walker and Nikki Gra­ham were in the kitchen talk­ing about Ais­leyne Horgan-Wallace in less than flat­ter­ing terms, when Ais­leyne walked in on them. They promptly stopped talk­ing and the awk­ward moment of silence that fol­lowed was very amusing.

Moments like that hap­pen in real life all the time, but the BB cam­eras cap­ture them for our entertainment.

As I think we’re about a week away from reach­ing the mid-point of the run, this is a good time assess where we are now and where the show may be heading.

Pete Ben­nett con­tin­ues to be everyone’s favourite, inside the house and out. A Pete win is likely, if not com­pletely cer­tain, just check with the bookmakers.

Pete is indeed very like­able; he’s kind, con­sid­er­ate, thought­ful, and sen­si­tive. It’s def­i­nitely not a ques­tion of peo­ple feel­ing sorry for him because he suf­fers from Tourette’s Syn­drome, though what role it does play in Pete being the favourite is some­thing wor­thy of discussion.

From what I’ve read and seen, Pete has not had an easy time in life because of his Tourette’s; and though we may all accept him for who he is with­out reser­va­tion, this hasn’t always been the case in the real world. Pete has spo­ken of this in the house.

Does that mean he’s become such a nice per­son in response to hav­ing Tourette’s? It’s pos­si­ble, but who could say. Is the Tourette’s the real rea­son the house­mates favour him? I don’t think so, but again how can we be sure?

To me, Pete seems to be a very gen­uine guy, which is why I like him. He is also show­ing that he has the patience of a saint, with the way Lea is treat­ing him. I was pleased to see him finally stand up to her manip­u­la­tion, though he did it in such a polite way that I don’t think she got the message.

Lea is a soul vam­pire; she wants to suck the very life out of Pete; she’s obsessed with him in a very unhealthy way. Lea is prob­a­bly the most needy BB con­tes­tant ever and its too bad she’s cho­sen Pete to latch on to.

Nikki con­tin­ues to be my other favourite; I think every sec­ond she is on the screen is pure com­edy gold. I’d like to give Nikki her very own dig­i­tal tv chan­nel when she comes out of the house.

Yes, you read that cor­rectly, noth­ing but Nikki 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Think of the laugh­ter, the tears, and the tantrums; espe­cially the tantrums…I could charge a bloody for­tune for adverts! I’d be rich, rich I tell ya!

I still think Nikki’s feel­ings for Pete are gen­uine and if Lea wasn’t always on Pete like a bad rash, we might be able to tell if Pete feels the same about her. Per­haps I’m wrong, but I think there’s a spark between them.

I really didn’t see what all the fuss was about with Suzie, when Glyn decided to paint the house with cider. Shit hap­pens, or rather in Glyn’s case, puke does. Hasn’t every­one drunk a bit too much at one time or another and been that ill? I know I have.

Well, I’ll take that back. I’ve always made it to the toi­let, or at least a bin or a bucket, but still, I know what it’s like to drink a bit too much and later regret it.

It’s another feather in Glyn’s cap though, as next year he can expect to win the Valley’s Vomit Com­pe­ti­tion; the boy can spew for Wales!

I hate to agree with Mikey “the dolt” Dal­ton, but he was spot on when he said that Suzie is up her own ass. I’m not really sure how she jus­ti­fies her uppity atti­tude, when only a few years ago, she stripped off for a z-list music video. (not office safe or suit­able for under-18s please).

It’s noth­ing like Lea’s video per­for­mance, but it’s close enough for Suzie not to be throw­ing too many stones at any­one else in terms of the amount of “class” they possess.

They asked Suzie in the diary room why she wanted to be on BB; a ques­tion I think we would all like to ask the tea-drinking, biscuit-eating stripper.

She’s no fun. She’s dull. I just wish there was a proper evic­tion this week so we could ditch her. She’s served her pur­pose as the Golden House­mate and is now stay­ing on the BB shelf beyond her sell-by date!

As I’m putting the fin­ish­ing touches on this week’s col­umn, we’re still a few hours away from find­ing out who will be our choices to send to the sec­ond, secret house this Fri­day, along with the five new housemates.

I’m not going to spec­u­late too much on who from the cur­rent house will be mov­ing next door, but I will take a stab at how I would like to see this twist play out.

We already know that there will be a fake evic­tion this Fri­day, Chan­nel 4 have con­firmed this already. I’m guess­ing that as this twist was planned well in advance, that the 5 new peo­ple have been in hid­ing since before the series started. I hope so anyway.

Assum­ing that the five new peo­ple have indeed been sequestered away, they will be told that it is launch night for the series and will enter the house with all the bells and whis­tles asso­ci­ated with a launch night. The cur­rent, falsely evicted house­mate, will enter the sec­ond house and be told straight away that they are on a secret mis­sion to play along with the new house­mates that its launch night and to con­ceal the exis­tence of the main house.

Do ya get me?

It will be like hav­ing a mini-BB series, tak­ing place within the cur­rent series! I’m lov­ing it already!

How ever Ende­mol han­dle this, it has real poten­tial to invig­o­rate the series at a point where tra­di­tion­ally BB starts to run out of steam. I would also spec­u­late that this is not the last chore­o­graphed twist in store for us this sum­mer. We’re only half-way fin­ished, we have a very long way to go!

What am I not lik­ing this year? The two “D’s”, Der­mot and Davina.

Der­mot seems to be sleep­walk­ing through BBLB this time around; he doesn’t seem to have the enthu­si­asm that char­ac­terised his pre­sent­ing in pre­vi­ous years. Maybe the BBLB style is a bit tired as well, but I think he’s burnt out with it. Sorry, Derm, nor­mally I’m lov­ing your work.

My prob­lem with Davina is that she is becom­ing a par­ody of her­self. She mugs for the cam­eras too much and her con­stant gurn­ing is really get­ting on my nerves. She’s nowhere near as harsh as she should be dur­ing the post-eviction inter­views as well. I used to like the way she pre­sented the Fri­day night live shows, but for some rea­son this year, it’s just not work­ing for me.

I’m not going to stop watch­ing because a cou­ple of the pre­sen­ters are piss­ing me off a lit­tle; I’m way too much of an addict to ever do that!

Dare you dream of my arrival?

Well, dream no more, because I am flesh and here now, with my sagely words of wis­dom and advice on all mat­ters of deep spir­i­tual significance.

Like should you get a white Apple Mac­Book or spring the extra hun­dred quid for the black one?

That’s an easy one, fuck­ers. Black is always in fash­ion, what­ever the price! Espe­cially since the white ones are get­ting dis­coloured from people’s handsweat. Yuck!

I’m not buy­ing one; I’m stick­ing with my 11-month-old, G4 iBook. It does the job.

I didn’t log on today with any sort of set agenda. I’ve got no agenda at all; I’m just sit­ting here spew­ing dri­vel in the gen­eral direc­tion of my key­board hop­ing this will go somewhere.

Chances are, it won’t and if that is the case, I apol­o­gise in advance for wast­ing your time. If it’s any con­so­la­tion, it prob­a­bly took me longer to write this non­sense than it will for you to read it.

Unless you read really s-l-o-w-l-y.

The most excit­ing thing I did all day was pur­chase a new pair of shoes. Hey, for me that’s an achieve­ment and I deserve my gold star!

Shop­ping in the real world is always a drag. I hate crowds and I hate deal­ing with sub­nor­mally intel­li­gent shop-staff.

How long should it take to check to see if you have a par­tic­u­lar model of shoe in my fairly com­mon size? If you said ten min­utes or longer, a career in retail­ing footwear awaits you!

I finally gave up and went to M&S, where its sim­ply a mat­ter of find­ing the least offen­sive shoe in my fairly com­mon size on their large dis­play, tak­ing them to the till and pay­ing for them.

That, my friends, is the way shop­ping should be…!

Actu­ally, I take that back. All shop­ping should be pos­si­ble online. That’s my favourite way to part with my hard earned dosh. It’s great because you find what you want and then they send it to you; kind of like an escort agency for goods, only with a slightly slower deliv­ery time!

I sup­pose a health update is in order, since I have been god­damn sick for the last few days. I’m 90% over it now, just the odd wave of nau­sea and still no real appetite. Mrs. H came down with it too and this super­virus or what­ever it is did not dis­ap­point, it hit her par­tic­u­larly hard as well. She’s bet­ter now too.

And that’s about it really. I’ve done a bit of work around the house today, plus the afore­men­tioned shop­ping trip and some writ­ing. That’s been my day so far, now it’s time to kick back, relax and smoke a nice spliff. I’ve earned it!

PS
My new shoes are ordi­nary black ones, with Vel­cro straps instead of laces. They’re the shoes of the future. I didn’t want to give any­one a sleep­less night by neglect­ing to include this key information.

Man oh man, I have been as sick as a dog all weekend!

A stom­ach virus, food poi­son­ing or pos­si­bly it was a gypsy curse on my intestines; I’m not really cer­tain, but I do know that I’m been expelling all man­ner of solid and liq­uid from both ends of my body since Sat­ur­day morning.

Nice!

The last time I was this unwell was while on hol­i­day in Crete a few years ago. It was just as nasty then. All I’ve man­aged to keep down my gul­let is water, and on Sat­ur­day even that was a problem.

I’m feel­ing a bit bet­ter today, but not enough to face any solid food, not even my cur­rent favourite from my local take-away, salt and chilli tofu! Just the thought of it is mak­ing me retch some­what, so I must still be sick!

I’ve missed some work, which is never a good thing; as if I go sick, some­one has to replace me. Imag­ine how much fun it is to replace me on short notice for a night­shift! It’s nearly impos­si­ble, which is why I always feel a lit­tle guilty on the rare occa­sions when I do phone in sick.

Oh enough about my health! I’m sick of being sick already! I hate being ill, it is just so bor­ing. All I do is sleep, squirt liq­uid poo and barf a lot!

Ok, I’ve offi­cially arrived in gross-land, pop­u­la­tion one sick hippy!

So how about that weather, eh? See, I’m chang­ing the sub­ject lest I offend again!

It’s still fairly warm and humid here in north Lon­don, though the nice weath­er­man told me it would less of both of those hor­rid qual­i­ties for the next cou­ple of days. That’s good.

Ok, I don’t care about the weather either, but here in Britain, that’s what we talk about at awk­ward moments; the weather! That’s what we talk about all the time! It’s too cold, it’s too hot, it’s rain­ing too much, it’s not rain­ing enough! Moan, moan, moan!

Don’t you have any good news, you mis­er­able hippy?

In truth, right now, I do not.

I guess I could geek out a bit. Why not?

I’m still dig­ging my new Sony Bravia KDL-32V2000 LCD tele­vi­sion very much! The pic­ture on it is spec­tac­u­lar and the increased size has been a bonanza for my view­ing plea­sure. The V2000 range con­tin­ues to gar­ner rave reviews from the tech­ni­cal press and is widely seen as the best LCD tele­vi­sion cur­rently on the mar­ket! It rocks!

The images from my DVD player (over a com­po­nent con­nec­tion) and SKY+ (over RGB SCART) are fan­tas­tic and I am really look­ing for­ward to hav­ing some proper High-Def sources to feed into it in the future.

The obvi­ous choice is SKY HD, but not yet. Why am I waiting?

Two rea­sons:

Firstly, the cost – I think it is too pricey. The box itself is 300 quid and they want another 50 or 60 pounds to install it. The instal­la­tion fee is the real joke, as because I already have SKY+, it would be a straight box-swap, with­out any new cabling or a new dish. Talk about a rip-off!

As an exist­ing SKY cus­tomer, they should be offer­ing me some sort of incen­tive like a cheaper price. They’re not. Demand is high, so SKY have no rea­son to lower the price just yet. When the cost comes down, I’ll be very tempted.

The sec­ond rea­son has to do with reports I’m see­ing on var­i­ous forums from peo­ple who already have SKY HD. The boxes appear to be very prob­lem­atic and laden with bugs.

I don’t want to replace my SKY+ box, which is 99% reli­able with a new SKY HD box that is far less depend­able. TV is too impor­tant to me to risk los­ing out on future record­ings. Let them work the kinks out, then come talk to this hippy.

Don’t get me wrong, High-Def is very good and is worth the extra expense, just not yet. When the box comes down in price and is seen as a more robust piece of kit, then I would love to have it installed.

Another option for play­ing back High-Def mate­r­ial is a PC, or in my case, an Apple Mac. I con­nected my G4 iBook to the Bravia via a VGA input and was stunned by the qual­ity of the image. My G4 is not beefy enough to play back High-Def, not even at 720p because the chip is too slow, but an Intel Mac Mini with a Core Duo would eas­ily rise to that challenge.

So yes, my friends, the hippy is tempted to get a Mac Mini and turn it into my media hub. It could han­dle all my audio and video server needs with ease, includ­ing High-Def con­tent down­loaded from the internet.

I’m more than tempted, I’m going to buy one as soon as they refresh the line again, which could be any­time between now and the end of the sum­mer. There will be a speed bump to the proces­sor if noth­ing else, though Steve Jobs remarked at a recent Apple event that they know peo­ple want an Apple media-hub, so who really knows what the future may hold!

Match the Mac Mini with a wire­less key­board, wire­less mouse and some addi­tional stor­age and you’ve got one lean, mean, media serv­ing machine that will let you surf the net from the sofa and access any con­tent on my net­work. It sounds cool to me.

So there you have it, even while floored by some hor­ri­ble tummy bug, I can still con­tinue to plot and plan my all-new dig­i­tal lifestyle.

Remem­ber, if it weren’t for drugs and con­sumer pur­chases, my life would be noth­ing but an empty bot­tom­less pit of deep despair. If your life is bleak and dreary too, no one would blame you for fol­low­ing my example!

Hey ho hippyfans!

How’s it going? Are all your northlon­don­hippy dreams com­ing true? Mine sure are!

Life for this hippy has never been bet­ter, which means either I’m doing really well, or up until today, my life’s been fairly shitty.

Take your pick!

The main rea­son I’m writ­ing this entry is because I want to tell you about some­thing that EDIT just started sell­ing from my friends at RooR.

Yes, it’s another bong, but oh my fuck­ing god(!!!) what a bong!

I’m talk­ing about the RooR Cus­tom– White Lines — 5.0mm Dealer’s Cup. It is seri­ously a thing of beauty. The size, the style, the atten­tion to detail are all clas­sic RooR and the design is just amazing!

A snow-white crown mouth­piece and match­ing bowl, snow-white ice-notches, two reduc­tions and a solid sil­ver hemp leaf all make this bong a dis­tin­guished edi­tion to the White Lines fam­ily. And like all RooR bongs and pipes, the qual­ity of the con­struc­tion is, well, the best in the world!

And there’s a rea­son why I endorse RooR goods so much, I own a fair bit of their kit myself! I won’t inven­tory it for you again here, but if you click on the RooR cat­e­gory you can read all about it.

Oh, I did buy a new RooR piece last week; I finally got my RooR Black Ash­catcher 5.0 and I’m really impressed with it. It’s given me the best smoke ever from my Lit­tle Sista through the dif­fuser and is worth having.

So there you go, another fine and desir­able prod­uct from RooR. I really do need to con­tact them about sell­ing a cus­tom northlon­don­hippy RooR bong.

You’d buy one, wouldn’t you?

I trust you are all wear­ing your fin­gers down to a stub, hit­ting redial repeat­edly as you vote to get Grace Adams-Short out.

As BB vil­lains go, she is cer­tainly doing all she can to engen­der the hatred of the Great British Pub­lic. Her bul­ly­ing and back­stab­bing is a won­der to behold. But the best part of it by far is her com­plete lack of aware­ness as to why she is so disliked.

I touched on this in my pre­vi­ous BB entry, how the chant­ing of “Get Grace out” last Fri­day will be seen as one of the defin­ing moments of BB7.

I’ve actu­ally been think­ing about how that all came about and I’m fairly cer­tain it was an inten­tional deci­sion the part of the pro­duc­ers to allow the house to hear the chanting.

How so?

Sim­ple, remem­ber what was actu­ally going on dur­ing this sequence.

Davina handed over to Big Brother and we cut to the gar­den. Aside from the micro­phone feeds from the house­mates, the only other live mic at that point would have been BB’s. And we all know that BB broad­casts from a sound-proofed booth

In other words, the only micro­phone out­side with the crowd was Davina’s and that would have been switched off.

This means that BB opened yet another micro­phone out­side with the crowd and then mixed it into the house ON PURPOSE. From a pro­duc­tion point of view, it had to be a delib­er­ate, inten­tional move on their part.

Talk about Twisted Big Brother!

By this one sim­ple flick of a switch, they were able to increase the ten­sion this week as well as pro­vid­ing them with a juicier story to fol­low in the lead up to Friday.

I’m lov­ing their work!

Some may crit­i­cise the harsh­ness of these tac­tics, but not me. Since Evil BB5, I think it is Endemol’s duty to keep the house­mates as off-balance as pos­si­ble. Now that the twists are kick­ing in, it’s going to be fun viewing!

What really gets me about Grace, what really winds me up to no end, is that she doesn’t have a clue why she is despised.

Oh it must be the editing!

No, it’s her rela­tion­ship with Mikey “the dolt” Dalton.

It’s because she’s so beautiful!

Buzzzzzz! All wrong! Espe­cially that last one!

And when she dis­cov­ered that Susie nom­i­nated her, her reac­tion didn’t exhibit any of what her name sug­gests; instead she was pos­i­tively “graceless”.

Much like the house will be after 10pm tonight!

Her tirade against Susie, which she dragged Dar­ling Nikki (a wicked old Prince track as well!) into was just so unspeak­ably loath­some that when I watched it on the high­light pro­gramme I nearly gouged my own eyes out in disgust!

And it only got worse, as Grace per­formed two very sad “dances of des­per­a­tion”; one per­formed ver­ti­cally with the other house­mates and a sec­ond per­formed hor­i­zon­tally under the cov­ers with Mikey. Both were equally sad and tragic to watch.

It’s too late Grace; there will be no redemp­tion for you while you are inside the house!

The tabloids are all report­ing that Grace is even more unpop­u­lar than Sezer Yurt­seven. That’s an accom­plish­ment, as he was fairly hated by one and all.

The odds on Grace’s evic­tion have got­ten even worse than Sezer’s, accord­ing to the bookies.

One enter­pris­ing book­maker is even offer 100/1 odds that Grace will receive 100% of the pub­lic vote! I know that’s not pos­si­ble, as some peo­ple will vote for Nikki, though it would be fool­ish to throw your money away wast­ing your evic­tion call on the future footballer’s wife!

It won’t be fool­ish to vote for Grace. I worry that peo­ple will all think that the pub­lic hate her so much, that they don’t have to vote. Silly!

If every­one thinks that way, then no one will vote and we could be stuck with her for another week. We can’t allow that to happen!

So I’m count­ing on all of you out there in inter­net­land, well the British part of inter­net­land, to vote often and vote for Grace. I’ll be cast­ing a few votes of my own before tonight, so as always I’m not ask­ing you to do any­thing that I’m not will­ing to do myself

Vot­ing Grace out tonight will actu­ally be the best thing we as view­ers can do for her. I’m seri­ous. She needs a short, sharp shock to help her learn a valu­able life lesson.

Grace’s real crime is no crime at all; she is merely a casu­alty of her age and more specif­i­cally her own imma­tu­rity. She is remark­ably imma­ture; she is much younger than her years. And she doesn’t realise that either!

Tonight, with our help, Grace will be grow­ing up, very fast. And isn’t that the best thing for everyone?

PS.

I know I threat­ened with this last week, but this time I have it. You can watch high­lights of Lea Walker’s porn video RIGHT HERE.

It’s only been run­ning for just over three weeks, but BB7 has already estab­lished itself as a fix­ture here in Britain.

It seems like any­one you speak to has a far deeper knowl­edge of the com­ings and goings in a cer­tain small house in Elstree than they are com­fort­able admitting.

What’s wrong with being a Big Brother fan? Why are peo­ple so ret­i­cent to admit that they enjoy it? It’s not like you’re cop­ping to cook­ing and eat­ing small chil­dren for lunch! It’s only a game show!

Big Brother takes over the media for the dura­tion of its run and even if you despise watch­ing it, you’ll be hard pressed to escape its reach.

Chan­nel 4 broad­casts at least an hour of high­lights or more every evening. And it’s con­sis­tently more than 60 min­utes in length, they keep extend­ing it with­out updat­ing their sched­ules, which is wreak­ing absolute havoc with my SKY+ — the end­ing is cut off more nights than not!

And on Friday’s, the live evic­tion dou­ble bill is at least 90 minutes.

E4 broad­casts Big Brother’s Lit­tle Brother five times a week, (BBLB) and Big Brother’s Big Mouth four times a week (BBBM), each 30 min­utes in length. Plus there’s a new show this year called Big Brother’s Big Brain.

If you add up all of the already pack­aged pro­grammes, you come up with nearly 13 hours of view­ing a week! Now, that’s commitment!

Add to that the 24/7 avail­abil­ity of live stream­ing via the inter­ac­tive fea­tures of the magic red but­ton on dig­i­tal tv and you begin to get a pic­ture of just how much is there for you to watch. And enjoy. And obsess over!

It’s easy enough to avoid all of that pro­gram­ming, but even if you do, BB lurks in other media. Flip on your radio to any pop­u­lar music sta­tion and I promise you that BB will be men­tioned; in happy talk from the DJ or within their brief news bul­letins. It’s the same on satel­lite tv; news from the house becomes real news!

Open any tabloid or celebrity glossy mag­a­zine and again, gos­sip about the house­mates will be found through­out. The glossies, like Heat and other high­brow pub­li­ca­tions, will stick BB stars on their cov­ers for as long as they can.

Why? For the same rea­son the Daily Express finds a rea­son to put a story about Princess Diana on nearly every Mon­day edi­tion; because it sells!

So even if you casu­ally con­sume your media, you can­not escape know­ing that Pete Ben­nett is the one every­one thinks will win; Nikki Gra­ham is a spoilt brat, Lea Walker is a porn star and Glyn Wise is the Welsh “For­rest Gump”.

Ok, I came up with that last one myself, but don’t you think it’s accurate?

Glyn is being por­trayed, rightly or wrongly, as a coun­try bump­kin. I know he is only 18 years old, but could any­one really reach that age and not know the recipe for mak­ing a fuck­ing sand­wich? If that is true, I really do fear for the future of our planet!

And he’s the “head boy” in his 6th form, so just imag­ine what the dumb­est kid in his class must be like…probably sit­ting in a pool of his own excre­ment shout­ing “ee-eye-ee-eye-ooh” over and over again at no one in par­tic­u­lar; hop­ing one of the smarter kids might bring him one of those mirac­u­lous cre­ations known as the sandwich!

That all said, I do like Glyn, he is a real con­tender for sec­ond place; though any­thing can hap­pen and we can’t all be com­pla­cent that a Pete win is a dead cert. Who knows what twists may be com­ing next?

I was all ready to write a sting­ing crit­i­cism of the lack of teeth in the “Twisted Big Brother” billing this sea­son. Up to the intro­duc­tion of the Golden House­mate, I saw no real evi­dence of any twists. Friday’s live show turned that on it’s head and my lazi­ness and pro­cras­ti­na­tion pre­vented me from look­ing very fool­ish the day before they did this!

See, smok­ing dope does have its benefits!

And the heat­wave here in Lon­don isn’t help­ing, espe­cially in the tin­der­box that is my north Lon­don lair. I might have to rig up my Air­Con for the liv­ing room soon. It’s 30 god­damn degrees in my lounge!

I’m sure that’s why you came to my site today, to get the weather report in my liv­ing room! It’s partly smoky, with ris­ing humid­ity and the mer­cury is climb­ing! So is my blood pressure!

I thought the way they han­dled the Golden Ticket con­test was superb. I’m not going to spend much time on the con­spir­acy the­ory behind the selec­tion of the win­ner; per­son­ally I do think it was ran­dom, albeit good luck that some­one so telegenic was selected. That’s hip­py­code­s­peak for a hot MILF!

When Davina pro­vided the mini-introductions for all 34 poten­tial Golden House­mates, it seemed to me that the major­ity of them had media con­nec­tions and/or had try to audi­tion their way on to BB in the past. If that’s true, then it only makes sense that the one selected would have a higher chance of fit­ting either of those descriptions.

As I’ve said before, it takes a cer­tain kind of indi­vid­ual to want to destroy their lives on real­ity television…it takes some­one with a screw loose! It takes a scream­ing crazy wannabe!

What I thought was excit­ing on Fri­day was the moment of rev­e­la­tion as Ais­leyne Horgan-Wallace read out the instruc­tions to the house­mates and then they showed all 34 Golden Ticket win­ners to them on the plasma screen. I think it could be one of the defin­ing moments of this series.

Not just because it was a brave depar­ture for BB, break­ing the fourth wall INTO the house and giv­ing them a look out­side, but because of what was over­heard from the bay­ing crowd.

“Get Grace out! Get Grace out!”

How cool was that? Grace Adams-Short is com­pletely deserv­ing of this pub­lic scorn, she has earned it with her vile atti­tude and school bully tac­tics. She’s pure poison!

What’s even fun­nier is she thinks it’s down to her canoodling with that vacant dolt, Mikey Dal­ton. He’s dull, he’s dumb and I can hardly under­stand a word he says, er mum­bles. Watch him sail under the radar straight through until the final week.

I think there’s a good chance Grace will be nom­i­nated this week, as the Golden House­mate is the only one nom­i­nat­ing and peo­ple who know her say she’s been watch­ing the show and can’t stand Grace.

I’m ready to vote, vote, vote if Grace is up and I urge you to do the same. We got rid of Sezer Yurt­seven, let’s leave noth­ing to chance!

And now on to the “des­per­ate house­wife” men­tioned in the title. No, I don’t mean the ABC/C4 series; I am of course refer­ring to the new Golden House­mate, Suzie Verrico.

Suzie, a 43-year-old house­wife and strip­per from Kent has been try­ing to get into the house for years. She’s audi­tioned at least 3 times and was a standby con­tes­tant for a pre­vi­ous series. Again, so what? Des­per­ate wannabes are per­sis­tent, espe­cially when they are house­wives with rich husbands!

Suzie’s hubby bought 60 cases of KitKat choco­lates search­ing for a Golden Ticket. When that failed, he picked one up on eBay for a cool four grand. Now that’s love!

Though I did see a great the­ory on the DS:BB forum that said he did it to get rid of her for a few months, so he could live that wild des­per­ate hus­band lifestyle full of hard drugs and hook­ers, with total impunity, know­ing his mis­sus was safely locked up under the watch­ful eye of one hun­dred video­cam­eras and the entire nation! That would be the ulti­mate in dis­creet planning!

Suzie admits to a boob job (which seems to be a pre­req­ui­site for entry into the house this year!), but denies hav­ing any work on her face. From my per­spec­tive, her nose, lips and cheek­bones look a lit­tle too good to be true, but what do I know!

Yes, she’s a hot­tie and she’s put Lea’s nose right out of joint, espe­cially because she’s 8 years older than Lea, but looks much younger!

Suzie doesn’t realise yet that being the Golden House­mate isn’t going to be fun. They already have her sleep­ing in a drafty, tiny cup­board that they have named the Golden Bed­room. She also doesn’t know that her nom­i­na­tions will be the only ones that count this week and Davina hinted that more unpleas­ant­ness is to fol­low later in the week. I won­der if they will force Glyn to admin­is­ter the daily golden shower?

It looks like Twisted BB may finally live up to the hype! It’s about time!

Thanks to every­one who voted to get rid of Sam Brodie last week. I didn’t hate her, I just thought she was dull, whereas Nikki Gra­ham is eas­ily one of my favourites and every sec­ond she is on-screen is pure com­edy gold!

No, I wouldn’t want Nikki as my flat­mate or girl­friend or any­thing, I think she could prob­a­bly drive me to an early grave quite quickly, but as some­one else’s prob­lem, she’s first class view­ing! Please keep her in as long as possible!

I felt gen­uine sorry for Glyn when he cried real tears over Sam’s depar­ture. I think he was actu­ally very upset; he really is a sen­si­tive young man!

I was going to pro­vide a treat for my beloved hip­py­fans, though with a dis­claimer: If you are under 18 or have a weak dis­po­si­tion, please do NOT click on the fol­low­ing link to Lea Walker’s porn video…

But the link went away and it’s no longer on the pirate host!

If you have seen the clip and I’m sure many of you have, then my lit­tle BB themed joke will make sense:

What do a KitKat wrap­per and Lea Walker have in common?

They both have four fin­gers inside them!

I never said it was in good taste! I won­der if that’s the kind of pub­lic­ity the KitKat peo­ple want?

I spent a good chunk of yes­ter­day off my face on some Funk Pills. It was a Wednes­day, which is just as good as any other day to par­take in some legal highs.

I decided to try Funk’s Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk) which are sup­posed to be the trippy ones from their line of party pills.

I took the first cap­sule around 3pm on an empty stom­ach, then sat back until the effects began. At around 4pm, just as I was start­ing to come up from the first one, I took a second.

The high was to be expected from some­thing BZP based – I started feel­ing up and happy and some­what euphoric. What I didn’t get was any over­whelm­ing psy­che­delic effects, just a slight sharp­en­ing of my vision.

I think that is my biggest gripe about some of these legal highs, they never deliver the trippy punch that I am seek­ing. As much as every­one wants them to be shroom replace­ments, they’re clearly not. I wish they were!

Shrooms were so much bet­ter than every­thing else you could buy legally, they were the best trippy drug I ever enjoyed. I wish they could come back!

The cur­rent incar­na­tion of legal highs are good, I’m not knock­ing them as I do enjoy the high they pro­duce, but they are dif­fer­ent from other ille­gal highs. While com­par­isons can be made between piper­azines and MDMA, they are very dis­tinc­tive drugs.

At about 6pm yes­ter­day, I took a third pill, which to be hon­est was a bit more than I needed. It was the usual story, I hadn’t come up enough from the first two, though by 6:15pm, I finally did but I was con­cerned I might have over­done it. I did, but only as a per­sonal preference.

The third pill I took was a “Big Grin” also from Funk Pills, which has a dif­fer­ent blend to the Twisted pills and con­se­quently dif­fer­ent effects. The com­bi­na­tion was very pleas­ant; I was quite deeply monged!

I cer­tainly pre­fer the “Big Grin” to the Twisted pills as the high is much more mind-numbing. Trust me, that’s a good thing.

I peaked around 9 or 10pm and by mid­night I was still buzzing. To aid in the come­down, I drank a Dutch hot cocoa (made with a dash of but­ter and some ground hash) and took a Valer­ian. By 2am, I was sound asleep.

Today, I feel some­what lethar­gic and hun­gover, which I don’t nor­mally expe­ri­ence, but I’m attribut­ing it to the increased dose and most likely I didn’t drink enough water; though it seemed like I did at the time. I’m sure I’ll be back to nor­mal by tomor­row, but this should explain the some­what sub­dued tone this entry has taken.

I need a few spliffs and another good night’s sleep and I’ll be right as rain.

Phew!

And by “phew”, I mean thank fuck I’ve made it to this morn­ing. I’ve now got about 9 days off and I need it. I’ve worked loads for the last few months (ok, since Decem­ber!) with­out hav­ing that much time off, so I am look­ing for­ward to some seri­ously indul­gent hip­py­time! I’ve earned it.

Work­ing as I do, every hour the good lord sends, you learn to really look for­ward to time off. If you com­pound my worka­holic nature with the fact that I choose to only work overnight (which involves turn­ing my body clock around back and forth from days to nights fre­quently), you might have some idea just how fucked I feel right now.

I can laugh about it, in my manic way as I am right now, sit­ting here hunched over my key­board like a man pos­sessed, but I know it’s tak­ing its toll on me.

Not that you came here for shiftworker’s blog weekly! You’re here to dig my lat­est views on Big Brother, with that patented hippyspin!

And I’ve got so much I want to write about it, that I’m cer­tain I’ll for­get some­thing or run out of steam before I can spill all.

For starters, what’s the deal with all these peo­ple walk­ing out the back door? I under­stood it with Shab­haz Chaudhry, because of his obvi­ous insta­bil­ity. I don’t even think he would dis­agree with that.

And if there wasn’t con­for­ma­tion enough of his afore­men­tioned insta­bil­ity, he left me with no doubts at all after pro­claim­ing his gen­uine desire to return to the house while mak­ing a rather sedate appear­ance on Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

Dawn Blake’s depar­ture is another story. I had high hopes for Dawn on launch night; her video pro­file hinted at a dark per­son­al­ity that I looked for­ward to see­ing in the house. I thought she was going to be different.

Man, was this hippy wrong! It goes to show you how much things have changed over the years with Big Brother.

Dawn’s self-scripted per­for­mance in her video and audi­tions was a sham; it was a cal­cu­lated and nearly suc­cess­ful attempt to put one over on Big Brother. And if she main­tained this façade, she might still be the house, but she made a big mis­take: she thought she could fool Big Brother far more than any­one ever could.

Ulti­mately, BB will trip you up, no mat­ter how clever you think you are.

Once in the house, Dawn was fairly dull, at least in terms of BB. She was kind, friendly, car­ing and ratio­nal. We don’t want any of those qual­i­ties in a house­mate unless they are com­bined with some inter­est­ing flaw. Dawn’s flaw was hubris.

I can only imag­ine the reac­tion in the Ende­mol pro­duc­tion office when they dis­cov­ered that the “urgent mes­sage” from her fam­ily was actu­ally a (not very) secret code instruct­ing her to walk.

I expect the pro­duc­ers were equally over­come with feel­ings of embar­rass­ment and anger. As showrun­ners, it’s their respon­si­bil­ity to antic­i­pate poten­tial prob­lems and some­one clearly dropped the ball. I can guar­an­tee you their were bol­lock­ings aplenty that day and I wouldn’t be shocked to find out some­one was sacked or demoted or rit­u­ally humil­i­ated at big meet­ing, in front of everyone!

Trust me, work­ing in the media is like that. Study law or account­ing if you can, some­times I wish I did!

Is it any won­der that there is some con­tro­versy sur­round­ing the cir­cum­stances of Dawn’s depar­ture? It would only be nat­ural for BB to want to have the last word by assert­ing their author­ity, if not actu­ally on Dawn, but for the ben­e­fit of view­ers. We needed a not so sub­tle reminder that BB is always in control!

And as for Dawn….tough shit!

You took on BB and you lost. Yes, you lost. You already looked fool­ish enough with your mantra of “shut-up”, you should have thrown in the towel then.

Now with the announce­ment of your alleged hunger strike over your demands for the BB footage that doesn’t make you look like a twat, you’re giv­ing Shab­haz com­pe­ti­tion in the insta­bil­ity stakes.

Give it up, love. Your ploy to use BB to make your­self spokesper­son for some made-up sports-science watch­dog group was as ill-conceived as the group itself! Go back to teach­ing aer­o­bics to middle-aged fat women for 6 quid an hour and leave the media to the inter­est­ing peo­ple. You dis­ap­pointed this hippy very much and you proved me wrong. That, my good woman, is unforgivable!

Oh and George Askew walked out too.

So what? He was posh, he was dull and he had a seri­ous whiff of inbreed­ing about him. Put your hand up if it would sur­prise you to one day dis­cover his par­ents were first cousins. Has any­one actu­ally noticed he’s gone?

Before I for­get, I want to give a big shout out to Super­Big­Broth­er­Fan! Thanks for all your com­ments, you cheeky lit­tle dick­ens! No, I don’t work for Ende­mol, but thanks for ask­ing! I wish I did, I would love to be on the pro­duc­tion team.

And they’d love me because I’d be quite con­tent work­ing per­ma­nent nights for them. I’d be ace as a senior pro­ducer on BB, partly because I love the for­mat so much and have always grasped it’s potential.

But before I’d con­sider a posi­tion with them, I would need to know a lot more about the com­pen­sa­tion pack­age. This hippy don’t come cheap, I’ve got expen­sive tastes and an even more expen­sive need for skunkweed!

Which reminds, I’m wait­ing for some puff now as the hip­py­s­tock is run­ning low! I’m sure the call will come soon!

And now, in hon­our of SBBF, who really should change their screen name to Super­Hip­py­Fan, a word on BB fans.

You may think with all my waf­fling on about BB that I’m an obses­sive super-fan myself, but in truth, I’m not. I don’t even come close.

I’ve never been to an evic­tion night, I’ve never had an evic­tion party; I’ve never dressed up as my favourite house­mate nor have I attempted to appear on BBBM. I’m merely a fan.

All you need to do is visit any of the online Big Brother forums to see what a proper obses­sive fan is like!

My favourite site is Dig­i­tal­Spy, which hosts one of the most lively and active BB UK forums on the net. I dis­cov­ered it dur­ing the first series and have been a reg­u­lar lurker ever since. This isn’t the first time I’ve name checked them, either!

If you want to know what’s going on “right now” in the house, check out that page. There are peo­ple glued to the live stream­ing online and on E4 24/7, post­ing their obser­va­tions. There’s also a wide range of opin­ions shared and you’re just as likely to find one that is in synch with your views as you are to dis­cover one that dri­ves you into a rage! I really enjoy dip­ping into them frequently.

And if any of you DS read­ers some­how make here to my blog, I bid you the warmest wel­come! You guys can drop by anytime!

Now that we’ve caught up with all the walk­ers, let’s take a look at tonight’s evic­tion with this week’s hippyevictionprediction!

Ok, it’s a bit of a no brainer. Bye bye Sleazer!

Right from his arro­gant, ill-judged entrance, Sezer Yurt­seven inspired instant dis­like. I may come off a bit full of myself here online in my vir­tual won­der­land, but in real life, I’m actu­ally quite unas­sum­ing and quiet. I find Sezer’s brand of con­fi­dence par­tic­u­larly abhorrent.

And the best part is I don’t think he actu­ally believes there’s not so much as a snowball’s chance in hell of him get­ting the boot tonight! The look of shock on his face is going to be so gynor­mus that it’s going to knock the smug­ness right out of him! Yo, yo, yo, he ain’t all that!

And imag­ine the reac­tions from Grace, Mikey and Imo­gen when their leader goes in week two! That my friends and hip­py­fans will be price­less and you won’t be able to pay for it with your MasterCard!

Sezer’s unpop­u­lar­ity is such that at the time of this writ­ing, a ten pound bet with a high street book­ing would win you around one pound. Those are odds that I like, but not from a bet­ting point of view! Sleazer is a gonner!

Please don’t leave this to chance, if you are read­ing this before tonight’s evic­tion. Cast your votes!

After watch­ing Thurs­day evening’s high­lights when I got home this morn­ing, I per­son­ally hit redial half-a-dozen times! That’s three British pounds! I must be seri­ous! And as always, I wouldn’t ask you do to some­thing that I wouldn’t do myself! I’m even going to vote some more tonight dur­ing the first show!!

I can’t say I’m huge fan of Sezer’s evic­tion oppo­nents, but I don’t dis­like either one of them. Richard New­man and Lea Walker actu­ally seem like decent enough peo­ple, and com­pared to Sleazer they are both pos­i­tively saintly!

Do we really care that Lea has mas­sive fake tits and has appeared in a hard­core porn film? Haven’t we all?

Lea seems car­ing and gen­uine; I believe she has been true to her­self since she walked through the front door. She’s going to be thrilled when she remains in the house tonight!

I’m still unde­cided as to whether Richard really con­forms to the stereo­type they’ve cast him in, I haven’t seen enough to say for cer­tain one way or the other. I think he’s hon­est and I think he means well. He’ll be stunned tonight when Davina doesn’t call out his name.

In some ways, tonight’s evic­tion reminds me of one from the last series, when Maxwell was voted out. Like Sezer, he was cocky and had no expec­ta­tion that he would go that night, but unlike Sezer, he could be more self-deprecating.

Put it this way, I could pic­ture hav­ing a drink with Maxwell and think­ing he was a bit of wanker, but not hat­ing him, whereas with Sezer, I doubt I could bear to be in his com­pany for more than 30 sec­onds before want­ing to rup­ture my own eardrums!

Oh and another hip­pypre­dic­tion for you, this one from the world of show: This series of BB is going to cat­a­pult Rus­sell Brand straight into the main­stream, right along with his ball bags!

In the last week or so, every national news­pa­per has printed a fea­ture or pro­file of Rus­sell Brand. So far, he is the true star of this BB sea­son. I guess it doesn’t hurt that he’s been knob­bing Kate Moss too!

Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years try­ing to break the main­stream myself. I need to shag Kate Moss. Does any­one out there have her number?