The northlondonhippy

Phew!

And by “phew”, I mean thank fuck I’ve made it to this morn­ing. I’ve now got about 9 days off and I need it. I’ve worked loads for the last few months (ok, since Decem­ber!) with­out hav­ing that much time off, so I am look­ing for­ward to some seri­ously indul­gent hip­py­time! I’ve earned it.

Work­ing as I do, every hour the good lord sends, you learn to really look for­ward to time off. If you com­pound my worka­holic nature with the fact that I choose to only work overnight (which involves turn­ing my body clock around back and forth from days to nights fre­quently), you might have some idea just how fucked I feel right now.

I can laugh about it, in my manic way as I am right now, sit­ting here hunched over my key­board like a man pos­sessed, but I know it’s tak­ing its toll on me.

Not that you came here for shiftworker’s blog weekly! You’re here to dig my lat­est views on Big Brother, with that patented hippyspin!

And I’ve got so much I want to write about it, that I’m cer­tain I’ll for­get some­thing or run out of steam before I can spill all.

For starters, what’s the deal with all these peo­ple walk­ing out the back door? I under­stood it with Shab­haz Chaudhry, because of his obvi­ous insta­bil­ity. I don’t even think he would dis­agree with that.

And if there wasn’t con­for­ma­tion enough of his afore­men­tioned insta­bil­ity, he left me with no doubts at all after pro­claim­ing his gen­uine desire to return to the house while mak­ing a rather sedate appear­ance on Big Brother’s Big Mouth.

Dawn Blake’s depar­ture is another story. I had high hopes for Dawn on launch night; her video pro­file hinted at a dark per­son­al­ity that I looked for­ward to see­ing in the house. I thought she was going to be different.

Man, was this hippy wrong! It goes to show you how much things have changed over the years with Big Brother.

Dawn’s self-scripted per­for­mance in her video and audi­tions was a sham; it was a cal­cu­lated and nearly suc­cess­ful attempt to put one over on Big Brother. And if she main­tained this façade, she might still be the house, but she made a big mis­take: she thought she could fool Big Brother far more than any­one ever could.

Ulti­mately, BB will trip you up, no mat­ter how clever you think you are.

Once in the house, Dawn was fairly dull, at least in terms of BB. She was kind, friendly, car­ing and ratio­nal. We don’t want any of those qual­i­ties in a house­mate unless they are com­bined with some inter­est­ing flaw. Dawn’s flaw was hubris.

I can only imag­ine the reac­tion in the Ende­mol pro­duc­tion office when they dis­cov­ered that the “urgent mes­sage” from her fam­ily was actu­ally a (not very) secret code instruct­ing her to walk.

I expect the pro­duc­ers were equally over­come with feel­ings of embar­rass­ment and anger. As showrun­ners, it’s their respon­si­bil­ity to antic­i­pate poten­tial prob­lems and some­one clearly dropped the ball. I can guar­an­tee you their were bol­lock­ings aplenty that day and I wouldn’t be shocked to find out some­one was sacked or demoted or rit­u­ally humil­i­ated at big meet­ing, in front of everyone!

Trust me, work­ing in the media is like that. Study law or account­ing if you can, some­times I wish I did!

Is it any won­der that there is some con­tro­versy sur­round­ing the cir­cum­stances of Dawn’s depar­ture? It would only be nat­ural for BB to want to have the last word by assert­ing their author­ity, if not actu­ally on Dawn, but for the ben­e­fit of view­ers. We needed a not so sub­tle reminder that BB is always in control!

And as for Dawn….tough shit!

You took on BB and you lost. Yes, you lost. You already looked fool­ish enough with your mantra of “shut-up”, you should have thrown in the towel then.

Now with the announce­ment of your alleged hunger strike over your demands for the BB footage that doesn’t make you look like a twat, you’re giv­ing Shab­haz com­pe­ti­tion in the insta­bil­ity stakes.

Give it up, love. Your ploy to use BB to make your­self spokesper­son for some made-up sports-science watch­dog group was as ill-conceived as the group itself! Go back to teach­ing aer­o­bics to middle-aged fat women for 6 quid an hour and leave the media to the inter­est­ing peo­ple. You dis­ap­pointed this hippy very much and you proved me wrong. That, my good woman, is unforgivable!

Oh and George Askew walked out too.

So what? He was posh, he was dull and he had a seri­ous whiff of inbreed­ing about him. Put your hand up if it would sur­prise you to one day dis­cover his par­ents were first cousins. Has any­one actu­ally noticed he’s gone?

Before I for­get, I want to give a big shout out to Super­Big­Broth­er­Fan! Thanks for all your com­ments, you cheeky lit­tle dick­ens! No, I don’t work for Ende­mol, but thanks for ask­ing! I wish I did, I would love to be on the pro­duc­tion team.

And they’d love me because I’d be quite con­tent work­ing per­ma­nent nights for them. I’d be ace as a senior pro­ducer on BB, partly because I love the for­mat so much and have always grasped it’s potential.

But before I’d con­sider a posi­tion with them, I would need to know a lot more about the com­pen­sa­tion pack­age. This hippy don’t come cheap, I’ve got expen­sive tastes and an even more expen­sive need for skunkweed!

Which reminds, I’m wait­ing for some puff now as the hip­py­s­tock is run­ning low! I’m sure the call will come soon!

And now, in hon­our of SBBF, who really should change their screen name to Super­Hip­py­Fan, a word on BB fans.

You may think with all my waf­fling on about BB that I’m an obses­sive super-fan myself, but in truth, I’m not. I don’t even come close.

I’ve never been to an evic­tion night, I’ve never had an evic­tion party; I’ve never dressed up as my favourite house­mate nor have I attempted to appear on BBBM. I’m merely a fan.

All you need to do is visit any of the online Big Brother forums to see what a proper obses­sive fan is like!

My favourite site is Dig­i­tal­Spy, which hosts one of the most lively and active BB UK forums on the net. I dis­cov­ered it dur­ing the first series and have been a reg­u­lar lurker ever since. This isn’t the first time I’ve name checked them, either!

If you want to know what’s going on “right now” in the house, check out that page. There are peo­ple glued to the live stream­ing online and on E4 24/7, post­ing their obser­va­tions. There’s also a wide range of opin­ions shared and you’re just as likely to find one that is in synch with your views as you are to dis­cover one that dri­ves you into a rage! I really enjoy dip­ping into them frequently.

And if any of you DS read­ers some­how make here to my blog, I bid you the warmest wel­come! You guys can drop by anytime!

Now that we’ve caught up with all the walk­ers, let’s take a look at tonight’s evic­tion with this week’s hippyevictionprediction!

Ok, it’s a bit of a no brainer. Bye bye Sleazer!

Right from his arro­gant, ill-judged entrance, Sezer Yurt­seven inspired instant dis­like. I may come off a bit full of myself here online in my vir­tual won­der­land, but in real life, I’m actu­ally quite unas­sum­ing and quiet. I find Sezer’s brand of con­fi­dence par­tic­u­larly abhorrent.

And the best part is I don’t think he actu­ally believes there’s not so much as a snowball’s chance in hell of him get­ting the boot tonight! The look of shock on his face is going to be so gynor­mus that it’s going to knock the smug­ness right out of him! Yo, yo, yo, he ain’t all that!

And imag­ine the reac­tions from Grace, Mikey and Imo­gen when their leader goes in week two! That my friends and hip­py­fans will be price­less and you won’t be able to pay for it with your MasterCard!

Sezer’s unpop­u­lar­ity is such that at the time of this writ­ing, a ten pound bet with a high street book­ing would win you around one pound. Those are odds that I like, but not from a bet­ting point of view! Sleazer is a gonner!

Please don’t leave this to chance, if you are read­ing this before tonight’s evic­tion. Cast your votes!

After watch­ing Thurs­day evening’s high­lights when I got home this morn­ing, I per­son­ally hit redial half-a-dozen times! That’s three British pounds! I must be seri­ous! And as always, I wouldn’t ask you do to some­thing that I wouldn’t do myself! I’m even going to vote some more tonight dur­ing the first show!!

I can’t say I’m huge fan of Sezer’s evic­tion oppo­nents, but I don’t dis­like either one of them. Richard New­man and Lea Walker actu­ally seem like decent enough peo­ple, and com­pared to Sleazer they are both pos­i­tively saintly!

Do we really care that Lea has mas­sive fake tits and has appeared in a hard­core porn film? Haven’t we all?

Lea seems car­ing and gen­uine; I believe she has been true to her­self since she walked through the front door. She’s going to be thrilled when she remains in the house tonight!

I’m still unde­cided as to whether Richard really con­forms to the stereo­type they’ve cast him in, I haven’t seen enough to say for cer­tain one way or the other. I think he’s hon­est and I think he means well. He’ll be stunned tonight when Davina doesn’t call out his name.

In some ways, tonight’s evic­tion reminds me of one from the last series, when Maxwell was voted out. Like Sezer, he was cocky and had no expec­ta­tion that he would go that night, but unlike Sezer, he could be more self-deprecating.

Put it this way, I could pic­ture hav­ing a drink with Maxwell and think­ing he was a bit of wanker, but not hat­ing him, whereas with Sezer, I doubt I could bear to be in his com­pany for more than 30 sec­onds before want­ing to rup­ture my own eardrums!

Oh and another hip­pypre­dic­tion for you, this one from the world of show: This series of BB is going to cat­a­pult Rus­sell Brand straight into the main­stream, right along with his ball bags!

In the last week or so, every national news­pa­per has printed a fea­ture or pro­file of Rus­sell Brand. So far, he is the true star of this BB sea­son. I guess it doesn’t hurt that he’s been knob­bing Kate Moss too!

Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years try­ing to break the main­stream myself. I need to shag Kate Moss. Does any­one out there have her number?

2 Responses to “Week two and its already a zoo! (455)”