Archive for December, 2006
December 27th, 2006 | 
Author: I’m letting you all down.
I’ve spent most of this month not posting anything on my blog. I’m sorry.
There are several factors involved in this total lack of hippy participation this month, some I’ll share with you, others I will keep to myself.
I’ve been overrun by spam of late; comment spam. At its peak, I was receiving over 300 comments daily, all linked to online poker or penis-pill websites. Fucking delightful! Each spam comment would generate an email to me, alerting me to the new comment. It was a real drag.
Comments are now, effectively turned off. You need to be registered to leave comments, only there is no way to register. It’s a catch-22 aimed at foiling these nasty pieces of shit who want free advertising on my site!
I recently read an article, which explained that spammed comments are left by living human beings, so they can type the weird letters into the box to prove they are not machines. Because broadband and labour are now so cheap and computer knowledge is so wide-spread in so many faraway places, it’s easier to pay someone to do the spamming for you.
Pretty soon, they’ll be outsourcing my blog to India and you’ll be reading my replacement, the newdelhihippy. Progress marches forward, so watch out fuckers, your job will be next!
I did nearly finish a lengthy entry on my own personal xmas memories, but never got around to finishing it. Xmas has come and gone now, so it’s too late to post it. I’m going to save it for next year.
I also haven’t been around, because I’ve been working loads and most of my December shifts were clustered into the second half of the month. I’ve been choosing sleep over blogging. Again, sorry, but I’m still tired and could use even more sleep!
These days, I’m always tired. I think its old age catching up to me. I don’t bounce back like I used to. Maybe I just need more sleep. I don’t know, but I dream of spending 24 hours in bed, just to put some zzzzzzz’s on account.
That’s never going to happen.
It’s not just the hippy I’ve been neglecting, I’ve got other projects that haven’t had enough of my time. After the New Year, I’m going to make a concerted effort to get back on track.
No, more than back on track, I’m going to take everything a lot further in 2007! Go me!
See, even at my age, self-delusion remains a true skill!
Here’s some good news for you Big Brother fans out there, the celebrity version kicks off on the 3rd of January and this hippy is poised to provide you with my own special brand of comment and analysis throughout this 5th series.
By far, one of the most popular features in 2006 was my Big Brother column. It would be sadistic of me not to give my loyal hippyfans what they crave! I am a boy who can’t say “no”!
There are all sorts of unconfirmed rumours about who might be appearing and I’m planning on providing you all with a preview before launch night. This Sunday’s papers should give us some more clues and of course, I’ll be monitoring many sources just for you!
So I’m still the hippy you all adore, especially because I’m a complete media whore! Things will be picking up here at the hippy, so come back often to see what I’ve got in store for you!
PS
Yes, this is post 497, only three more to go until I announce the big winner of my contest. One lucky hippyfan will be winning ME for a weekend of soft drug use and inappropriate touching!
Click HERE for more details!
Hey, hey and ho, fucking ho! The hippy is here to sort out all your gift-giving dilemmas. That is, if you’re shopping for someone who is supercool!
I’ve got a few recommendations for you and there’s still time to order them all online and receive them in time for the big day!
I’ll start with a book that is well worth giving to anyone who appreciates the vast complexity of human emotions.
- Post Secret – the book
I’ve championed this blog before and I’m still a big fan. The artist solicited people’s secrets, anonymously via postcards. They’re actually quite moving and I’ve been on the brink of tears more than once checking out his website. The book is a well-put together collection of postcards; some that have been on the site and others that are brand new. It would look great on anyone’s coffee table and I was very happy when it recently became available to purchase in here Blighty.
- Post Secret – the website
- Post Secret – the book (via Amazon UK)
It’s a worthy project, which has genuinely touched people, so please buy a copy and support the artist, Frank Warren.
Now for a musical suggestion, two CD’s that I like very much:: Muse – Black Holes and Revelations and the Killers – Sam’s Town.
Muse has been a favourite of mine for quite a while now and their latest album does not disappoint. This is big, anthemic music performed with passion. If you like hard rock with an intelligent edge, this is the CD for you!
The Killers second album is also a winner, but I was a big fan of their first, Hot Fuss, so no one should be surprised that I dig this one too. It’s got a very traditional rock and roll feel, but with electronic textures that keep it in the 21st century. Big in the UK, not so much in the US, which is weird because they’re from Las Vegas. Give it to someone who just likes good music!
- Muse – Black Holes and Revelations (via Amazon UK)
- The Killers – Sam’s Town (via Amazon UK)
I’ve selected Amazon for the book and the CDs as they’re very reliable and they can still ship out to the UK before xmas!
My friends at Everyonedoesit.com have a huge selection of gifts for the hippy in all of you. Besides having one of the largest selections of legal highs available in the UK, they also are one of the best distributors for all things RooR – this hippy’s favourite glassware.
They recently started stocking the classic RooR glass water pipe and I’ve just ordered the three-piece model for myself. It’s coming tomorrow! And at only £65, it won’t break the bank either! RooR, quite simply make the best glassware in the world, so if you need a gift for someone who enjoys alternative smoking methods and substances, this is the pipe for them!
EDIT stock quite a big range of RooR goodies, with something to suit every budget, from the mini-steamroller right up to RooR’s collaboration pieces with Shiva glass, that do actually cost an arm and a leg, but are gorgeous!
You can also check out EDIT’s extensive selection of legal highs, with a flavour and effect to suit almost everyone’s tastes! At the moment, I’m still favouring Spice Gold, which costs a bit extra, but has quite a kick. It mixes especially well with weed too!
And finally, EDIT also has a selection of xmas gift boxes, again in sizes to suit everyone’s budget. They even do a line from RooR!
I’m a big fan of EDIT and have been for years now. I shop with them, a lot and they are fantastic. I should also mention I’m an affiliate of their’s, which is why you see their adverts on this site. But I wouldn’t give them space on my website, if I wasn’t 100% behind what they do!
Ok, now onto the big gift, for that someone special. Choose Apple!
I love my Apple toys, I’m typing this on my iMac right now and my new Mac mini is sitting under my Sony Bravia. I just sold my iBook, to make room from my next laptop, either a MacBook or a MacBook pro, I haven’t decided yet!
The easy choice from Apple is an iPod, though you do need to choose a model. I have to say, even though I don’t own one, I think the 2nd-gen, 8gb black nano is the best one in the line-up. A friend of mine has one and it is pure sex and plays music too! If you hold one in your hands, you’ll want one!
The new iPod shuffle is also a little devil of a music player; as small as a matchbox, holds around 240 songs and only costs £55 quid. What’s not to love?
I’ve got a 60gb iPod with video, which has since been replaced by the 80gb version is also a fantastic piece of kit, though it’s the most expensive one they make. What can I say? I’ve got good taste.
By far, the best thing Apple is selling at the moment is their MacBook. Everyone loves them and they’re expected to sell several hundred thousand of them in the run up to xmas. You can still order one online and probably get it by xmas, or you could just walk into any Apple shop and walk out with one. You do need to pay for it first!
So there you have it, the hippy’s helpful holiday shopping guide! I hope it’s helped someone out there decide what to get someone special!
And if you’re shopping for this hippy, I’m really hoping for a green xmas…so just get me an ounce or two of skunky bud. I’ve been a very good boy all year, you know!
I think too much; it’s what I do.
When you think too much, you need to keep thinking of new things to think about, which takes up a good portion of your thinking time.
I was thinking the other day just how much we’re in our infancy as the dominant species in charge of the planet and I thought of a way to express this within a perspective, which we can all relate to in our own frame of reference.
A generation is accepted as twenty-years, so if you were sixty, you could have a child that was forty, with a child of twenty, who could be a parent as well. So that’s four generations, all alive at one time.
If you agree that 20 years is one generation, then 100 generations is 2000 years, which takes us nearly back to the time Jesus was allegedly strolling around Galilee. It’s the frame of reference we use every day in our modern, western dates; it’s 2006 AD right now.
2000 years may seem like a tremendously lengthy time period; in the scheme of the universe it is less than a blink of an eye. We’re still evolutionary children, who shouldn’t be trusted with the fate of the planet. We’re just not mature enough to have that sort of responsibility.
At our hearts, we are still savages and though some of us aspire to rise above that and live our lives in more purposeful ways, most of us are animals with base, primordial, survival instincts guiding our decisions.
If I can’t fuck it, or eat it, then I’ll kill it and eat it or fuck it.
In the newspaper today I read two similar stories about the true nature of our society and the genuine face of mankind.
Two men; independently of each other, collapse and die; one on the street, the other in his place of business.
In both cases, help from the public was sought. With the man who died on the street, his pockets were picked clean of his wallet, keys and mobile phone. The man in his office, as well as having his pockets stripped bare, by the passing “good Samaritans” also had his his laptop, mobile phone and other assorted kit from his office stolen, all while his distraught partner was in the next room phoning for the paramedics.
If both of those incidents are not considered despicable, then I don’t know what the word means!
Welcome to the real word, you stupid hippy. Cruelty bordering on the sadistic is the norm in our world; we choose to believe that the reality is better than that.
It’s not, not by a long shot and if you collapse in the streets, you should just expect to have your valuables quickly taken from you while your down. You can probably count on a few kicks in the head as well, since you’re such an easy target.
I couldn’t walk past someone on the ground without checking they were alright and it wouldn’t occur to me in a million years to rifle through their pockets in search of swag!
Maybe there’s something wrong with me?
And that’s a revelation? There’s loads wrong with me. Being a living god doesn’t come without a price. You live my life for a while if you don’t believe me. None of you could take it, you pussies!
Ah-hem.
Think about it, 100 generations is nothing; you can imagine that, it gives things perspective. We are still children, barely evolved with our lizard brains doing most of the thinking. We still fight wars; we still kill each other for no good reason. Of course we do, we’re not even adolescents yet!
100 generations; it’s less than a blink of an eye. We were nailing people to crosses, the dead were rising, and it was a magical time.
We think we’re so advanced and so modern and so high up on the evolutionary scale. Look around you; the competition is hardly fierce!
We’re the dominant species and we shouldn’t be. We’re not up to it, like if you’re parent’s left you home alone when you were not really mature or responsible enough and they came back to find the gas cooker on and the pilot light out and you and your little brother are groggy on the sofa. You said you were ready to be left alone, but obviously you weren’t!
Ok, that happened to me when I was a child, so it’s true and I know what I’m talking about. As a race, we’ve left the oven on and we’re all groggy on the sofa. We said we were ready to run the world and look at the mess we’ve made!
So the next time, someone’s claiming how shit-hot human beings are, remember what you’re old pal the hippy told you. One hundred generations ain’t nothin’!
