The northlondonhippy

Just when you thought it was safe to switch your TV set back on, along comes the 5th series of Celebrity Big Brother!

I’m the last per­son to com­plain, I’m a big fan of the for­mat, as count­less pre­vi­ous posts will confirm.

This year’s series looks like it’s going to be a fun one, with pos­si­bly the odd­est mix of par­tic­i­pants in the his­tory of the programme.

OK, we’re lack­ing the shocks pro­vided by the inclu­sion of George Gal­loway and Ger­maine Greer, but come on, Ken Russell’s pres­ence is pure genius!

I realise that is prob­a­bly lost of most view­ers of CBB. I’m not being snob­bish about this; he’s not as well known as Steven Spiel­berg, is he? He’s prob­a­bly not even as well known as Guy Ritchie! And that’s a pity, but I expect peo­ple will be redis­cov­er­ing his films all over the place now!

Ken Rus­sell is the sort of direc­tor that film crit­ics sali­vate over and media watch­ers every­where will be going into melt­down. Big Ken gives a new respectabil­ity to CBB, and adds a level of intel­lec­tual mas­tur­ba­tion never seen before on the show. Well done, Endemol.

The fact that he’s push­ing 80 and the mere act of enter­ing the house seemed to sap him of what lit­tle energy he had, should be some cause of con­cern, as I think if he died in the house, they might choose to pre­ma­turely end the run. That would suck; I want to see it go to its full 25 ago­nis­ing days!

Ken’s already flashed his cock and balls at the dumb pretty girl who was Miss Pretty UK or some­thing and now sleeps with a foot­baller. I’m not over­sim­pli­fy­ing, am I?

She’ll prob­a­bly turn les­bian after that see­ing his “meat and two veg”, but let’s just hope she does so in the house with that other pretty girl, the one from India. I’ve never heard of her, but then I don’t know any­thing about Bol­ly­wood except that there’s a lot of singing and dancing.

Ok, so they are a bunch of nobod­ies. So what? In their minds, they are extremely impor­tant and very well known. Just look at Michael Jackson’s brother, Jer­maine. He thinks every­one knows who he is and judg­ing by the reac­tions of the other celebri­ties upon meet­ing him; that might not be 100% true.

Or Leo Sayer, who had hit records when this old hippy was a teenager twist­ing the night away at a school disco. Have his songs moved up the iTunes charts yet? They will.

The theme this year does appear to be singers, with the 2 for­mer 90s pop stars, Jer­maine, Leo and that young guy with the blonde hair doing the Spinal Tap impres­sion! If that’s his audi­tion, well done and I’m sure they’ll find a slot for him around 1am at the Com­edy Store!

I know he calls him­self Donny Douchebag or some­thing, but come on! He’s a cliché of a par­ody of a CHEAP ANGRY SPINAL TAP IMPRESSION!

Did you see? He pissed in the shower before he dis­cov­ered there was a sep­a­rate toi­let. Doh! You could splice that scene seam­lessly into the “Spinal Tap”. If you like Donny, get the DVD and pre­pare to piss your pants! Or your shower!

The hot middle-aged lady from the Kenny Everett video show seems lik­able enough, if a bit mad. Noth­ing wrong with that! I bet she inspired some furtive wank­ing in her day, and prob­a­bly still does today.

Oh and for the record, I’m the same age as Cleo, so that makes me mid­dle aged too.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and ven­ture that the out­side favourite at this point is the only girl from S-Club that could actu­ally sing. The book­ies like Leo Sayer too, but I’m giv­ing her the edge. Wait till she belts out a few tunes!

And I know her name, it’s Jo O’Meara and she had some spinal prob­lems that got in the way of her pop career. She’s seems fine now and good luck too her.
I read the tabloids, so I know this stuff. I can’t help it. We all have our use­less areas of expertise.

Jo seems down to earth, at least in the lit­tle bit I’ve seen.

And what’s the deal with the A-Team guy?

How des­per­ate and/or broke is he? I think we all know the answer to that one! He comes off sharp and witty and I get the feel­ing it’s going to take a lot to get him to snap.

Is it going to be entertaining?

Isn’t it always!

I pre­dict we’ll like some of them and hate some of them and every one of us will have dif­fer­ent list for both cat­e­gories. That’s just how it goes.

Bring on the next 3 and half weeks! Let them all go men­tal! Arm them with rusty knives and fill their heads with high-quality blot­ter acid. Starve them of food so they have to resort to can­ni­bal­ism and that lit­tle blond guy from Steps gets spit-roasted, but not in the way he’s dreamt of all his life. Send three gen­er­a­tions of Jade’s fam­ily into the house next door…

You know, some things are just too hideous to imag­ine. I’m sure glad there’s no chance that’s going to hap­pen tonight!

PS
This really is your last chance to enter the “win the hippy for a week­end” con­test! Go on, you know you want me!
Click here for the orig­i­nal post with all the details!

The win­ner will be announced soon!

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