When I was a kid, several decades ago, expectations of the end of the world were simple and directly related to the nuclear arms build-up between America and the Soviet Union. The planet was going to be incinerated in an orgiastic exchange of h-bombs. The concept was called mutually assured destruction or MAD as it was known at the time.

It still could happen, but probably sparked off by one of the later members of the nuclear club, or even more likely, if some crazy terrorist group gets their grubby little hands on one.

Hey ho!

But now, added to that list of cataclysmic horror is climate change and that’s even scarier simply because of its apparent inevitability. This is one runway train that can’t be stopped!

At least we’ll all go with a deep, dark, tropical tan…even the polar bears! What fun!

One way or another, the end of the world will come, but my guess is it won’t happen until our sun goes supernova, in a billion years or so. Until then, the planet will most likely still be here.

So what do we really mean by the “end of the world”? What we really mean is the end of us. We think we are the world, but we’re not, we’re just the people. Or so sang a bunch of popstars in the 80s!

The end of the human race is our big fear, yet we’re doing sweet fuck all to prevent it. I would argue that we couldn’t prevent it, that our own destruction and disappearance from the face of this planet is as inevitable as the sun going supernova. We’re doomed.

That’s not a bad thing. It’s not a good thing either. It’s just the way things will be. Nobody said we’d last forever!

Why is it so hard to accept that nothing is permanent? I’m not permanent; I’m temporary and more so with each passing day. I’m going to die, I just don’t know when, but I get closer to my last day, every day.

I don’t have a problem accepting this fairly certain truth. And there’s nothing I can do to change it, even if I wanted to, unless they invent some immortality brain computer, but I couldn’t afford that anyway.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to preserve the human race, or perpetuate “our way of life” for as long as we can. What I’m saying is that doing so is an exercise in futility!

And what is our way of life, anyway?

Our way of life is to consume, anything and everything. Our way of life is devour our natural resources in a very unsustainable way. It’s just what we do and we’re damn good at it; so good in fact that we’ll never, ever stop.

All right, what personal sacrifices are you willing to make to save the planet? Will you give up your car; jet travel; your central heating or air conditioning? Will you stop watching TV, going to the cinema? How about buying your food in shops; are you ready to produce your own grub, make your own clothing? Are you ready to return to the 18th century?

Neither am I!

I love living in the modern world and all the conveniences it affords me! I love picking up my cordless, rechargeable telephone, reading a menu under the glare of an electric light and placing an order from my favourite Malaysian takeaway and then waiting for 30 minutes, while they prepare my food, flipping through the channels on my digital satellite tv receiver, while watching it on my big screen LCD TV. And much like Pavlov’s dogs, I salivate at the sound of the petrol-powered moped as it pulls up outside my north London lair with my piping hot dinner!

Stick that in your carbon footprint and smoke it!

I recharge my mobile phone and iPod with reckless abandon; I don’t think twice about sitting on my computer all day, while my stereo blasts out my favourite tunes. I drive to the shop to buy my groceries, I drive to work every night. When I’m cold, I turn up my gas-central heating and in the heat of the summer; I do have an air conditioner. I’m a burden on the resources of the planet and I’m doing next to nothing to redress the balance.

I say next to nothing, but I do make some empty gestures that are meant to make me feel better, rather than do any actual good. My car is fairly green, with a very small, fuel-efficient engine. I’ve changed all my light to energy saving bulbs; when I order from Ocado, I always choose the green delivery option. I recycle as much as my local council will allow, which at the moment is aluminium, tin paper and glass; now if they would extend that to include cardboard and plastic, my actual rubbish would be next to nothing!

Does any of that make the slightest bit of difference? I sincerely doubt it.

So what if we’re doomed. Only fools believe that the perceived superiority of the human race justifies our continued existence forever! Don’t be a fool!

How can anyone be surprised if our time is coming to a close? We’ve done more damage to the planet in a couple of centuries, than every other living thing in the millions of years before that! If any creature has earned the right of extinction, it’s us! I say, bring it on!

My nihilistic of view of things isn’t meant to bring you down. In fact, it’s intended to do just the opposite. Accepting our fate and knowing what’s coming should empower us to all do the things that give us the most pleasure.

For me, that means lots of skunky bud, because if I actually had any decent weed right now, I wouldn’t give a shit about the end of the world! And I wouldn’t be frightening all of you!

Send me some good weed! Please! I’ve had enough of the draught and the grit!