The northlondonhippy

Archive for May, 2007

Where’d the last year go?

It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I was previewing the seventh series of Big Brother, and now here I am writing about BB 8, which launches on Channel 4 this evening.

Can you feel the excitement?

Neither can I.

Usually, there is more of a build-up to the start of a BB series, but it seems to me that there’s far less of a buzz. It seems that the whole thing is distinctly low key.

That’s probably intentional following the international controversy surrounding Celebrity BB, a few months ago. Remember? Shilpa Shetty vs Jade Goody? How could you forget!

The producers of BB, Endemol, don’t want any trouble, yet they know that the programme is really only successful when there is conflict. Channel 4, on the other hand, view BB as the cash cow that it is; it’s responsible for generating the lion’s share of C4’s annual income, so they want to be as cautious as possible.

C4’s desire to avoid any problems have led to various rumours: about a crack police squad monitoring the live feed, with powers to arrest housemates or shut the entire thing down; newspaper reports that C4 has vetoed several potential housemates for being a bit too “wacky”, instead insisting on safer choices. And most of all, they have stated that the theme of this year’s series is “fun and love”.

Oh dear. I really hope most of that is bullshit. Personally, I’d rather see the police out on the streets, arresting violent criminals, not watching TV for three months!

The house design is meant to reflect this sense of fun. They’ve put the cooker in the bedroom! Crazy, man! They might even deny them a toaster and kettle! Good, golly, gosh, what will they do?

Am I sounding a bit jaded this time around? Damn straight, I am. BB is supposed get bigger, meaner, wilder, and nastier, every year and it feels like we’ve taken several giant steps backwards.

I don’t want a kinder, gentler, Big Brother. That would suck in so many ways and on so many levels. I want twists, I want conflict, and I want people to hate each other! That’s not too much to ask for, is it?

There’s one wildcard in all of this, that will compensate for whatever steps the powers that be take, to keep things level and that’s the 12 new housemates. Even with all the screening and psychiatric testing, they are still just people and that makes them unpredictable. It’s down to them to do things that keep us all hooked.

And we will be hooked, we always are; the programme is addictive. I don’t know about you, but I have an addictive personality and just can’t help myself. Once I start watching, I know I’ll stay with it till the bitter end. You will too.

As I’ve said countless times, I am a sucker for the format. What does that say about me? What does it say about everyone who watches?

It says that deep down, we’re all voyeurs and given the chance, we’d sneak a peak at anything.

Do your ears perk up when you hear someone whispering? When you see a married couple bickering in a shop, do you try to secretly glance their way, to see what you can pick up? And when your neighbours argue, do you turn down the TV, to try to hear what they are saying?

Big Brother is almost the same, though you need not hide your shame when you stare at it, full-on, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Big Brother appeals to the secret Peeping Tom in all of us.

Controversy will always find a way, where BB is concerned. I’m sure no matter what they do to keep things calm, it will still make the front pages of the newspapers before the summer is out. “Big Brother in SOMETHING shock” the headlines will scream.

At the very end of the series, so says another rumour, they are going to blow the house up, as they are moving to a new location next year. That would imply that the explosives would need to be set before the finale, in and around the remaining housemates. Is that safe? Does it matter? At least it insures one way or another, that we will see some sparks fly inside that house!

So there you go, that’s my little look ahead to the next three months of BB. Expect sporadic hippy coverage of Big Brother 8, right here, whenever I feel like it.

Dig it! Feel the free love!

According to a YouGov poll commissioned by Reader’s Digest, and quoted by many newspapers today, including THE TIMES, the influence of the swinging 60s is still felt today.

As if they have to tell me!

As the coolest, highest, most fantastic hippy in all of north London, I know just how pervasive the influence of those before me had on society.

Shouldn’t hippies run the world?

Of course they should, as long as you don’t have any important world-running that needs doing before noon. Then we might have a problem.

Hey ho my friends, fans and fellow travellers. I want to ask you a question.

My last couple of posts, while immensely entertaining, weren’t exactly focused on anything in particular. I would like to change that…and I would like your help!

What would you like to see me write about?

Is there some topic or subject that interests you that you would like to see me tackle with my patented “hippyspin”?

I’m serious; this week, I’m taking requests!

Go on, send me an email – I’m really easy to reach, my address is:

thehippy@northlondonhippy.com

I can’t promise that I will definitely write about what you suggest, but I will consider all submissions. And if I use your suggestion, I’ll big you up, old school stylie like, here on my happening website thingy. You will be the envy of all your friends and the subject of deep sexual desire from complete strangers if I do!

Oh, and while I’m seeking your thoughts and opinions, here’s something else? Do you want me to do the whole Big Brother thing again this year?

I’m torn on that one myself and what made me think of it is I discovered that the next series, the eighth, begins at the end of this month.

I know I’ll end up watching it, I’m a complete sucker for the format…but what I want to know is, would you like me to write about it regularly.

I have to say that my visitor numbers do go up during BB season, so maybe I know the answer this question already, but I still would like to hear what some of you out there in internetland have to say.

So, go on, get in touch. I’d love to hear from as many of you as possible. My inbox is ready and receptive, so what are you waiting for!

I’m bored.

Very bored.

It’s Sunday morning, I worked last night and I’m trying to unwind before hitting the sack, only I’ve got nothing to do.

That’s why I’m here.

I’m just killing time.

Does that make you feel bad? Like you are my last choice for entertainment?

I don’t mean it in that way, I swear. You know I only like to post stuff when I’ve got something to say, not when I want to waste 5 minutes while I smoke a spliff and relax before bed.

Can you think of anything more wasteful than wasting time?

Time is the one thing we all have in finite supply; it’s the one thing that every living creature, here on planet crappola, has in common.

“We don’t have enough time”; “time is running out”; “I wish I had more time.” We’ve all said those things, haven’t we?

Yet here I am wasting time.

Killing it.

Killing time…

…but that’s because I’m bored…

…but not as bored as you!

You just spent a few minutes reading this drivel.

Sorry I had to kill your time too.

I feel the need to post something this morning.

Anything!

I feel the need to amuse, inform and entertain.

I feel the need to make my presence felt on the world wide whaddiyacallit.

There’s only one problem…

I’ve got nothing to say!

Well, that’s not strictly true, I’ve always got something to say.

Who doesn’t? They say opinions are like assholes; everybody’s got one.

Or in my world, I refer to a lot of people as “opinions” and if you think about the previous sentence, you’ll decode the secret message that these particular people never seem to get!

What I really mean is, I don’t have a topic to drone on about this morning. Yes, it is morning, here in north London, right now as I am tapping away on my keyboard, writing this drivel just for you!

And it is just for you, my beloved, loyal and truly adored hippyfans.

As my mother used to say, when she would yell at me for something that she had already yelled at me for; “I’m not yelling just to hear myself. I’m shouting at you!”

Well, it’s the same when I post something. I’m not posting this so I can read it; that’s the intended purpose of my thoughts. No, I am posting this nonsense to be read, appreciated and possibly worshipped slightly.

Ok, not worshipped slightly, but totally and completely, like the true living god that I am.

Ah-hem.

Anyway, that can’t be true, because I can’t be god and “a messiah for the new millennium” at the same time can I? I can surely try!

Double ah-hem, now just leave it, you pseudo-deity.

Actually, it’s cool that I’ve made a god reference; because I had a real creative breakthrough on something I’ve been working on for a very long time. It’s one of those extra little side projects of mine that I mention from time to time and it has nothing to do with my real life job or this blog.

Basically, it’s a novel I’ve had percolating in my head for over ten years and here’s where it gets confusing…it’s my semi-fictionalised autobiography. It’s my life lived right in a lot of ways and very much the same as reality too.

I told you it was confusing! No wonder it’s taken me this long to get my head around it.

Anyway, the breakthrough has to do with the philosophy behind the story and one of the themes that will pervade the narrative.

Ooooooh! Listen to me get all poncey and pseudo-intellectual!

Remember, it’s better to be a pseudo-intellectual than a proper one, because us PI’s have actually touched a girl, smoked a spliff and danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.

Maybe that last bit’s just me.

The theme and philosophy of which I speak is the total rejection of the concept of god and god’s existence to the point of extreme blasphemy.

If I can’t be god, then no one can!

I’ve never believed in god (and the lack of a capital G is infuckingtentional), not even as a child. I can remember questioning the logic of it all at a very early age and thinking that it was as ridiculous as Santa and the Tooth Fairy (again, capitals on purpose, blasphemy ain’t just for xmas, it’s for life!).

I’m not saying you can’t believe in god, if you want to. It’s your choice and I believe in religious freedom, especially the freedom to reject it all.
You can have faith in a “higher power”, if you need to; or perhaps a belief in an order to the universe, if you must.

I might even buy into that one; that there is order to the universe. I just don’t think we will have the slightest clue as to what that order is as the enormity of it as a concept is well beyond the capabilities of the tiny little meat-computers in our head.

So was that last sentence, nearly!

And look, if you do believe in god and you really think that there’s a guy in the sky with a long white beard and a longer white robe, running the show down here, then you must absolutely detest him because of all the pointless grief and suffering his actions cause us every day of our stinking, rotten existence on this hellhole of a planet we call home!

If anything, all the bad, the evil, the shit in this world is proof positive that there is no god. For if there were a god, then bad things wouldn’t happen to good people and pets. For if there were a god and he created us in his image, he sure as shit would treat us all a lot better.

Now, if I were god, life for everyone would be nothing but free beer, weed and blowjobs. You’d all have perfect health and perfect lives and you could have a lie-in every Sunday (or Friday or Saturday, or everyday depending upon your present denomination and level of devotion) because I wouldn’t want to be worshipped in the classic “go to church” sense of the word.

But I’m not god, I’ve never been god and unless my take on the universe is completely wrong, I’ll never be god. And this last sentence is proof I’m not insane either!

If you approach it rationally and logically, there’s only one conclusion that can be reached: God didn’t create man, man created god. And man did a shitty job of it too!

And that’s the undercurrent of my next novel. Bet it will top the bestseller list in the first printing! After all, you will all buy it, won’t you?

In the next couple of weeks, once I wrap up a few other things, I’m going to be dedicating a lot of time to this particular side project. I’m giving myself a very loose six months to complete a first draft of it. Then comes the really hard part…convincing someone it’s good enough to publish.

And if I fail, there’s always the internet. I hear they let you publish any old shit on the web. If they didn’t, then how did this particular hippypost get here?

Greetings, my friends; I hope life is treating you exceptionally well.

It hasn’t been a great week for me, but rather than dwell on the bleak and dreary, I’d rather share something more positive with you…

I bought one of these this week:

It’s from my friends at EDIT and you can see the product page for it by clicking RIGHT HERE.

There are two things that make this piece special right off the bat; one, it was designed by EDIT, exclusively for EDIT and two, it’s only twenty quid!

I know, I couldn’t believe how inexpensive it is either!

Now, here’s the thing, even though the cost is cheap, the quality of the construction is first class. It has a nice heavy, sturdy feel in your hands and it could definitely take a knock or two as well. It’s well designed and really sharp looking too.

But the real question is, how does it smoke?

Smooth, baby, really smooth. When filled with water, the two filtration chambers do a really good job of cooling the smoke. I’ve been hitting on this bad boy all afternoon and I am really digging it!

I’ve been looking for a pipe like this for a while; one that is ideal for chilling out on the sofa, while watching TV. It’s just the right size and weight, with a decent sized bowl. I couldn’t have designed a better pipe myself, even if I tried!

Check out the whole line of Bushmaster bubblers, because they come in more colours than just that blue one!

This hippy can heartily recommend you purchase one. I promise, if you get one of your own, you will love it too!