Yes. Yes, I am.

I haven’t stopped watching it. I just haven’t written about it in a while. I’m a bad hippy and deserve a spanking, but don’t get any funny ideas about sending Jonty ‘round to do the honours. This hippy don’t play that way.

Not that there’s anything wrong with a little bit of light spanking, I would just prefer that it were Channelle administering my much deserved punishment. As if she would even look in my general direction while having one of her infamous strops, let alone smack my ass for all she was worth!

Ah-hem.

The residents of the house have certainly changed since last I commented on it. We’ve had a fake housemate, we’ve seen Channelle walk and Charley evicted, twice! We’ve also got five new best-friends, though after tonight, there will be possibly two less of them.

It seems to this more than casual observer of BB, that the producers have had some clever gimmick up their sleeves every week of this run. A lot of it has been entertaining and amusing, but all of it is feeling somewhat manufactured. I guess that’s what the format has become, after so many years of it. It’s had to change and evolve, to keep us all watching.

I’d watch anyway, but then I’d watch paint dry, if it was smeared all over a dozen complete strangers!

It’s been a weird series for me, I haven’t really warmed to any of them, but then I don’t really hate any of them either. My reaction to them is as bland as a conversation with the twins.

I find Gerry nice, but too whiny and moany. I like Carole, but she doesn’t really shine either. The twins are cute, in a very immature way. I could go on, but you get the idea.

I bought the Ziggy and Channelle relationship completely. No one would put themselves through that much angst and bullshit, if they didn’t really have feelings for each other.

I disagree with all of you who think Ziggy was using her. No, I don’t think she was the love of his life, but I think his intentions were genuine. He liked her; he would have dated her properly outside the house if he could have. He couldn’t, instead he had to live with her for 2 intensive months.

Chanelle liked Ziggy too, but I go back to what I said before. She’s the sort of girl who always has a boyfriend, and to her it’s like a cast change in a play. A lot of the shit she was taking out on Ziggy was more than likely baggage from previous relationships, redirected at him.

In real terms, a two-month relationship in the house is probably equivalent to a full year in the real world. It would be more intense then you could ever imagine. I don’t envy either one of them, not even the sex. I can’t see a self-conscious shag under a duvet and the gaze of a dozen cameras can be very satisfying. I’ll never, ever know.

I was glad to see Charley go, I think she outlasted her usefulness. She was amusing to watch at first, but her shtick grew old and tired, fast. How can someone be like that, with everyone, all the time? It’s just so unpleasant. Would you spend time with someone who behaved like Charley? I wouldn’t, unless I was empowered with the right to deliver a well placed backhand to the chops, when it all got too much.

Bye, bye, Charley. It’s back to obscurity for you. Channelle’s well-timed walk has stolen your week and your thunder, at least if the tabloids are any measure. Oh wait, they are.

I enjoyed fake week, which I realise must seem like ages ago now. Thalia/Pauline was hot, the tasks were amusing and I loved how wound up they all got by the misinformation. The plane with the banner about the other house was great!

I was impressed that Carole seemed to see right through each and every one of BB”s tricks that week. She’s a sharp one, sometimes.

I can’t say I’m blown away by the halfway housemates and the twists that followed, especially since it’s ended up with three of them back where they started, ready to be booted out the door. I think mainly, it was the apparent randomness of the final twist, sending Ziggy, Liam, Amy and Jonty into the main house that ruined it for me. There was no drama, no sense of the unexpected, it was just down to a whim of the producers.

Maybe this whim was pre-planned, but it had the feeling of damage control. “Oh, shit, we can’t lose Ziggy or Liam, and the Jonty guy would be a waste if he left without a spanking. And if we’re going to keep Liam, we might as well keep Amy too, so he can have a sexy, buxom, canny lass to play with…”

You get the idea.

They’re willing to risk Tracey, but she doesn’t really bring that much to the show anyway, so it’s a calculated risk. Near as I can tell, as it’s a double eviction tonight, she’s vulnerable, so we could still see some drama and real tears.

David is a gonner tonight, people have taken an instant dislike to him and his giant, overconfident ego. Only Gerry will be disappointed to see him leave, but he didn’t have a hope in pulling him, so its probably for the best.

The other evictee will be either Shanessa or Tracey. I’d rather see Shanessa stay, as she is real comedy gold and car-crash TV at it’s finest. I’ve never been a Tracey fan, though I should be because we both like to get off our faces. I find her dull and her repetition of those innane catch phrases just doesn’t float this hippy’s boat. I might even feel the need to cast a few votes myself.

The real question is, what happens to the two people left in the halfway house? Do they move into the main house? Do the two leaving tonight get to choose a 3rd to come with them, live with Davina?

How the hell should I know? I’m sitting here on my sofa, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, watching it myself, just like the rest of you!

There’s only a month left, so I guess we’re around two-thirds of the way gone. Anything can happen and it’s not 100% that Brian is going to win. It would be cool if he did, because he always makes me laugh.