The northlondonhippy

I was think­ing about this ear­lier and I’m actu­ally a very bad hippy.

I didn’t set out to be one, but I think if I tested this, it would prove to be true. Per­haps not by my stan­dards, but I would come out “bad”, based upon an “objec­tive test”.

The test I have in mind will involve 10 ques­tions, which you at home can answer too.

My test is based on “The Ten Com­mand­ments” which some peo­ple think were handed down by a supreme being often referred to as “god”.

Now, I’ve seen the film and “god” was an off-screen voice over and he gave the stone tablets to Charl­ton Hes­ton, who is/was the head of the NRA in Amer­ica. This has noth­ing to do with any­thing really, I’m just rambling.

Here’s the northlon­don­hippy “are u a bad per­son” quiz (my per­sonal answers appear under­neath each question):

1) “You shall have no other gods besides Me.
– Bro­ken. I don’t really have any god, unless you wish to count my mush­room god.

2) “You shall not make for your­self an idol, or any like­ness of what is in heaven above or on earth beneath or in the water under the earth.
– Not bro­ken. I’ve never made any idols, but I like Pop Idol and I don’t think that counts

3) “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpun­ished who takes His name in vain.
– Bro­ken. Jesus H. Christ is one of my favourite excla­ma­tions, so is goddammit.

4) “Remem­ber the sab­bath day, to keep it holy.
– Bro­ken. I work shifts, which means I poten­tially can be work­ing any day of the week.

5) “Hon­our your father and your mother
– Bro­ken. And badly. Enough said. Re-read pre­vi­ous entries if you want more details.

6) “You shall not mur­der.
– Not bro­ken. But I live in hope, grrrrrrrr

7) “You shall not com­mit adul­tery.
– Bro­ken. Not since I’ve been with Mrs. Hippy though, but in the past….

8 “You shall not steal.
– Bro­ken. When I was about 4, I nicked a GI Joe doll from the play­ground. I gave it back

9) “You shall not bear false wit­ness against your neigh­bour.
– Bro­ken. I make stuff up about them all the time. Their real lives are dull, so I need to do it.

10 “You shall not covet you neigh­bours house; your neigh­bours wife or his ass or any­thing that belongs to your neigh­bour.”
– Bro­ken. I covet my neighbour’s car, it’s a Porsche, or “mid-life cri­sis mobile” as I like to call them. But I don’t covet his house, his wife or his ass. Well, I guess I might covet his wife’s ass a lit­tle bit though.

Scor­ing:

1 point for each com­mand­ment you’ve broken.

0 points for each com­mand­ment you’ve obeyed.

How’d you do?