Do you need some cool gifts for some cool people? This hippy is here to help!

Xmas is less than 2 weeks away and if you haven’t finished your holiday gift shopping, then you are just like everyone else! But you’ve got something they haven’t got…a certain north London-based hippy with a questionable character. I’ve got a few suggestions to help you out.

I find xmas stressful, everything is busier, people are ruder and nothing pisses me off more than queueing up to spend my hard earned money.

Let me share a tale with you from last Saturday….

Last Saturday afternoon, I made the rather unfortunate mistake of visiting my local supermarket in my car. It’s a large chain supermarket, with a large car park. I needed to pick up a few things and didn’t have a choice.

When I arrived at the supermarket, I noticed the queue of cars departing, but didn’t really think too much of it. The car park was quite full, but I managed to find a space without any stress. I decided to abbreviate my shopping list, grabbed a hand basket and swept through the shop quite quickly. I even found a till with no one waiting and was checked out in record time. And then the real fun began.

I returned to my car to discover the car park had filled up even more and the queue of departing cars stretched to the very end of the car park. It took me around 10 minutes just to get out of my space, because of being blocked by other passing cars, arriving or departing.

After getting out of my space, I joined the queue of departing cars, heading towards the exit and that’s when the real fun began. The line of traffic was barely moving and after 15-20 minutes, I phoned Mrs. H to warn her I would be a bit later than I expected.

After 30 minutes of not moving, other people were starting to get restless and I began to see examples of road-rage, or rather, car-park rage. Cars, were trying to cut into the queue of cars heading for the exit, others were trying to merge from unexpected directions. Then cars arriving, started queuing up for limited parking spaces, cutting off departing cars and allowing merging cars to jump in front. It was total car-park chaos!

Being the resource sort and maintaining my calm through the regular ingestion of cigarettes and chocolates from my shopping, I got the number for the supermarket and rang it from my mobile phone. I asked to speak to the manager, identifying myself as a customer trapped outside in my car. After a few minutes waiting, I was connected to the duty manager and I explained the predicament facing his valued customers just outside the doors of his shop. He was sympathetic, but blamed the local council for not allowing them to build more access to the car park. That was hardly going to help me out at 2pm on a Saturday afternoon, 2 weeks before xmas!

The manager suggested I phone the local police station, which I was only too happy to do. After getting passed the first operator, I was connected to the despatch desk at the local nick and I again explained the situation, pointing out the it could easily turn nasty and as well as near accidents with cars, I’d seen a couple of drivers leap out of their vehicles and nearly trade blows. The despatcher took my details and said she would send some officers as soon as possible. I didn’t see any before I left, around AN HOUR LATER!

Yes, I spent 2 hours in the supermarket car park, in my car, in the pouring rain. It was absolute hell and I wouldn’t wish an experience like this on any one, ever!

Which brings me to my main point, which is this…if you can, do all of your shopping online! Everything I’m going to suggest is available on the internet, so grab your credit card and getting ready to shop!

My top recommendation this year is an iPod Touch from Apple. I bought one for Mrs. Hippy and we’re both blown away by how good it is. The touchscreen is gorgeous, so user friendly and as I suspected, the killer app is definitely being able to surf the internet on it.

It’s actually a very usable, readable browser and its the first satisfying internet experience I’ve ever had on a hand-held device. To put this in perspective, I’ve surfed on various mobile phones and a high-end Palm Pilot and none have come close to this. The iPod Touch found my home network, let me put in the password and joined it instantly. The mobile version of Safari rocks, its fast, responsive and renders pages beautifully.

Oh and did I mention it plays music? And the video dazzling too, so is the photo browser. I haven’t hacked it yet, because it’s Mrs. H’s, not mine and I don’t want to end up bricking it on her. I’m holding out for a 2nd generation iPhone, hopefully that will come in the next few months.

I bought the iPod Touch from Amazon, £243 for the 16gb model, which is a real savings compared to other retailers, but your mileage may vary, so look out for the best deal. Also, don’t leave it too long as its considered one of the hot gifts this holiday season.

In general, I can recommend Amazon, they’re normally very reliable and they are good with delivery too. I shop with them so much that I signed up for Amazon Prime, which costs 50 quid for a year, but in return you get upgraded to next day delivery on everything you buy. I usually pay for next day delivery anyway, because of my erratic lifestyle, that way I never miss anything. I’ve already placed a few orders with it, so it will pay for itself in no time.

The other online retailer I can recommend is everyonedoesit.com or EDIT. The adverts you see on my site are from EDIT, as my endorsement of them is longstanding. They are also the exclusive distributors of the NLH Deluxe, the bong I designed, made by RooR in Germany.

EDIT stock a wide variety of goodies, from pipes and bongs to a wide selection of legal highs and one of the best stocks of cannabis seeds on the internet. If you like to party, or know someone who does, they’re certain to have something desirable.

Of course, you can check out the entire shop for yourself RIGHT HERE, I do have a few recommendations for you.

Check the Bushmaster Double Bubblers on this THIS PAGE. I’ve got the midnight blue one and I can’t recommend this pipe enough. It’s only 20 quid and its a real bargain, pieces this good normally cost lots more.

I cleaned mine out the other day and it reminded me what a useful piece of kit the SPACE CASE GRINDER is…I put all my bud through mine and around twice a year, I scrape out the crystals inside. You will be amazed how much you can collect, if you use it regularly to break up your weed. And if you think about it, everything you’re collecting, would probably just have been lost. I can’t believe everyone doesn’t use one!

I’ve heard lots of people complaining about the cost of RooR glassware and I won’t deny that some of their pieces are pricey. That said, you get what you pay for and RooR quality is the best you’ll ever find. But if you don’t want to spend a fortune, here are a bunch of RooR pieces that all cost under 100 pounds, including one (that I own) that costs under a tenner! That means you can give someone a piece of pure RooR quality, no matter what your budget may be!

I’ll start with the CLASSIC THREE PIECE WATER PIPE, which is a piece that I own. It’s a great looking water pipe, well constructed and it smokes so sweetly, you will love every hit!

How about a RooR gift set, including a RooR bong for only 65 quid? Check out ROOR GIFT SET 5! And check out the rest of the RooR gift sets RIGHT HERE.

And if you want a full sized, proper RooR? No problem, we can still do that for you and here’s 4 models from the RooR red range, with 3.2mm glass, that cost between 85-100 quid! Go on, check ‘em out RIGHT HERE.

And remember, I said there are RooR pieces under a tenner? Check out the MINI-STEAMROLLER, for only £5.95. I’ve got one of these too and its my favourite tiny pipe. It’s perfect for a quick blast, when you need a little hit to take the edge off life.

But what RooR gift guide from me could ever be complete without a shameless plug for my pretty little baby, the “RooR Custom 5.0 - northlondonhippy deluxe” - the best bong in the world! Of course, I’m biased, because I designed it and it carries my name, but trust me I’ve smoked out of loads of pipes and nothing hits as well as my bong. It costs a bit more than other bongs, but trust someone who’s smoked out of it a lot now, its worth every goddamn penny! Treat yourself, or treat someone you love, you won’t be disapppointed!

The best news about all the goodies I’ve mentioned from EDIT is that they have it all in stock right now for immediate shipment and that includes the NLH Deluxe! I know the NLH Deluxes have been hard to come by, since the initial shipment sold out, but they’ve got ‘em now!

Xmas doesn’t have to be stressful. If you can visit my site, then you can visit Amazon or EDIT, or any one of a number of sites which will ship things to you quickly. If you can avoid the shops, the malls and the high street, you’ll make your life a lot easier and isn’t that what we all want? Trust me, you don’t want to lose 2 hours of your life in a car park!