Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan, or “Richard and Judy” as they are known to their legions of fans in the UK are very popular and influential celebrities in this country. When they recommend a book or a wine, it becomes a big seller overnight. What they say to the nation, can change the course of the nation. They hold a lot of sway.

For those of you not residing here in Blighty, I should explain a bit. The couple I’m talking about have been fixtures on our daytime TV screens for many, many years. They are married and after starting out in regional telly, moved on to hosting a national daytime chat show in the mornings on ITV. After many years on ITV and in a well publicised and expensive network coup, made a high profile jump to Channel 4. That’s where theyremain, hosting a programme that goes out weekdays 5pm-6pm.

Normally, I find their views on the conservativeside and in some instances extremely so, which meant I was quite surprised when someone I know drew my attention to a recent Richard Madeley’s column in the Daily Express newspaper.

Yes, the Daily Express of all places!

Rather than tease you with this, I’ll just cut to the chase with the salient quotes:

“RICHARD: How awkward it is to have to begin the new year defending the apparently indefensible… in the form of eccentric police chief Richard Brunstrom’s latest headline-grabbing “gaffe”. I refer, of course, to his call this week on Radio 4’s Today programme for the legalising of drugs.



Brunstrom reckons all currently banned substances – everything from Ecstasy to heroin – will have been decriminalised inside 10 years. He added that Ecstasy is “safer than aspirin”, for good measure.


“Idiotic”, “Mad”, and “Captain Calamity” were just some descriptions of the head of the North Wales force the following morning. Parents of young people who died after taking Ecstasy queued up to castigate him – quite understandably. If my child had perished because of drug abuse, I would be first in line calling for Brunstrom’s head.



Which doesn’t mean I would be right. It is pointless here to get into a statistical debate about the dangers of aspirin versus Ecstasy.  Both preparations can kill: Ecstasy by fits following dehydration and other factors, aspirin usually from internal bleeding.



Ecstasy kills around 50 people every year – although many more have a close encounter with the Grim Reaper in their local intensive care unit.



But considering the colossal number of (mostly) young people who swallow Ecstasy tablets in nightclubs up and down Britain every night of the year, the toll is comparatively small when set against those killed or maimed in drink-driving crashes.



Don’t get me wrong, I think taking Ecstasy is stupid. 



Prolonged use may well cause memory loss. But being against the law hasn’t stopped it from becoming endemic – which means the criminal supply of Ecstasy and other drugs is endemic too.

This is at the root of the gang culture that grips virtually every city in Britain and is largely responsible for the proliferation of guns on our streets. The analogy with Thirties prohibition era Chicago is inescapable.

Personally, I’d feel safer taking a palmful of aspirin than even one Ecstasy. But as a social policy, the criminalisation of drugs must surely be recognised for what it is:  an abject failure. Cocaine, heroin, speed and, yes, Ecstasy, have never been more widely available or cheaper to buy. Their illegal sale on an industrial scale nourishes a huge, sprawling and hydra-headed criminal underclass.

All Richard Brunstrom – with,  by the way, the broad support of his police authority – is really asking is for a sensible debate on how we move on from the failed drug policies of the past.



He may be a ridiculous honorary druid with an irritating penchant for speed cameras and absurdly sensitive to weak jokes about the Welsh, but he’s doing something rarely seen in our chief constables.

He is thinking out of the box. That is brave and bold and deserves thoughtful consideration, not calumny.”

Please do click this link to the original article, it starts about 1/2 way down the page.

I was stunned.

I was flabbergasted!

I’m never flabbergasted.

I’m not certain what flabbergasted even means!

Sometimes, common sense comes from very unlikely sources and I must say there was no more unlikely source of these sagely words than Richard Madeley.

I’d like to applaud Mr. Madeley’s bravery and genuine courage for coming out in support of Richard Brunstom and the Police Authority in the pursuit of truth and honesty about drugs.

The next time you’re discussing legalising drugs with someone, quote Richard. Seriously, even to your parents. People really dig Richard and Judy, if you quote him, they will think twice about their beliefs and perhaps even start to question them. Try it and you’ll see what I mean, attaching his name to the cause will give it a new level of respect.

If Richard Madeley supports a complete re-think on drug policy, perhaps there IS something to it!

If more people were willing to stand up and speak out, perhaps things would be better for responsible adults like myself and those of you out there who choose to indulge in the use of unsanctioned substances. There are so so SO many of us out there, who lead productive, normal lives, yet enjoy things other than alcohol and tobacco.

We have too much to lose. That’s the problem, our normalcy and responsible lives don’t meet society’s stereotypes of what a drug user is. If we did step out of the closet and proclaim proudly that we smoke weed, or snort a bit of charlie, or neck a few pills every weekend and it wasn’t destroying our lives, people who disapproved would find a way of destroying our lives for us.

Next week is the public consultation on reclassifying weed. I’m sure people braver than me will attend and speak out eloquently on the subject, before they’re ignored completely and the government just reclassifies it anyway. But that’s not why I’m not going.

I’m not going, because I have too much to lose. As open as I am about my drug use to friends, family, work colleagues, strangers I sit next to on the bus, I don’t know how I’d feel about my name and address being on record with this government in relation to the status of weed and specifically my constant intake of it.

And with this government, how long would it take them before they lost the list and it ended up in the hands of, oh I don’t know, the police maybe! Making cannabis class B means the penalties are worse for the end user; what if they decide to ‘round us all up? They’re building an awful lot of new prisons!

Oh and by the way, the penalties for production and distribution of cannabis, ie growing and dealing, are exactly the same under class B as class C, so it’s really only those of us who might get caught with a small amount who are seeing the penalties change. Thanks, Gordon. Thanks, Jacqui.

What’s worse is that it will only drive those of us who wish to speak out, further underground, while allowing the criminal element to continue ruling the trade, with no additional risks. Who really benefits from this change in status?

That’s an easy question to answer. Who benefits from the reclassification of cannabis?

No one at all.

No, I’m not going to tell you 935 lies. That would be silly and quite frankly, I don’t have the time.

I could, if I so chose, create precisely 935 carefully crafted and exceedingly believable boldfaced lies, but I have no reason to do that. I never have reason to lie to you at all, ever.

I don’t lie.

And I especially don’t lie when I log in and blog onto my own goddamn website.

People who lie, do it for a reason.

Whether it is to obscure the truth to cover some misdeed or intention or accomplish some secret goal or further a private agenda, lies are motivated by something.

Sometimes, even governments lie.

OK, governments lie a lot, but it’s not everyday they get caught.

And it’s not everyday they get caught in 935 of them.

There’s that number again: 935.

I didn’t just pull 935 out of my ass, that would be stupid and potentially painful.

Personally, I’d be worried by anyone who pulls anything out of their ass, but that’s just me. On some subjects I am surprisingly conservative.

But on the subject of intentional fabrication by governments to achieve a heinous and immoral goal, I am one pissed-off, bad-assed motherfucka with an attitude and an Uzi.

OK, I don’t have an Uzi. I’d like an Uzi, but my local Uzi shop closed down ages ago and I missed their going out of business sale.

You’d want an Uzi too if you lived in my north London ghetto hell. There’s a shooting or a knifing around here often enough that I’ve lost track of the number of yellow police signs soliciting witnesses to the latest teenaged atrocity.

Yes, I know these teenagers mainly shoot each other, but there’s been a worrying trend in middled-aged white guys getting kicked to death and I don’t want to be one of them.

Hey, I know the security services keep an eye on blogs. Hi guys! I’m on your side and if you’d supply with me a small armoury of weapons, I’d be your bitch. Oh and the promise of a spot in the witness protection programme after I take out some crack house or Al Qaeda cell single handledly!

It could happen!

But seriously, you guys could recruit me. I’d be a great agent and I’d settle for cash. I was only joking about the guns. Well, maybe just a Glock for my trouble, please?

Ah-hem.

935 fucking lies! Get to the point.

Here’s the top of the AP report I’ve been referring to since I started:

“A study by two non-profit journalism organisations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements “were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanised public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretences.”

The study was posted Tuesday on the Web site of the Center for Public Integrity, which worked with the Fund for Independence in Journalism.

The study counted 935 false statements in the two-year period.”

Click right here for the source article in full, please.

As someone who never believed a word of what they tried to sell us over Iraq, I don’t find this surprising. What grabbed me is they were able to document it with this degree of accuracy.

Let’s face it, 935 individual instances of 100% lies being peddled as fact to justify a war that was completely unnecessary is astonishing! It should make our collective jaws hit the collective floor.

It should be front page news. It should have led news bulletins around the world.

But did it?

This story hit the wires nearly a week ago. Sorry, my bad for not getting around to do something with it until now, but at least I’ve marked it. I’ve brought it to your attention.

Did anyone else? I know a few newspapers mentioned it, because I read the stories, but I don’t think I saw it on TV.

This is important shit!

George W (for “won’t you be glad when he’s gone gone GONE!”) Bush and cronies all lied. The Bush regime lies. They are documented, undeniable purveyors of utter falsehoods and fiction. They conned us and conned us but good!

I bet Halliburton and Blackwater and the other war profiteers are giggling like schoolgirls all the way to the proverbial bank.

And how much has this abortion of a war cost us decent, tax-paying members of modern society?

And how many hundreds of thousand Iraqi lives were lost? And how many Iraqis displaced and maimed?

And how many soldiers from the coalition of the willing lost their lives or lost their limbs or lost just a tiny, little piece of their souls fighting for liars and cheats and well, just plain motherfucking cunts?

I’m enraged, I’m incensed. And you should be too! This war was fought in our name, to make us safe.

Do you feel safer knowing that an entire generation of people in the Middle East hate you? Not for your freedom (because you hardly have any, anyway!), but because of what your leaders do to them, in your name.

If you were Iraqi and your entire life was fucked hard, fast and without so much as drink bought for you, how would you feel about the people who fucked you? Would you hate them? Would you want to kill them? Would you be willing to give your life to do it?

You’ve lost your job, your home, your savings, your possessions and several close members of your family, like your spouse, or parents, or children. Or maybe all of them. You’re living in some shitty refugee camp in Jordan or Syria, where you’re not wanted by your hosts. You’re life is shit and if someone offered you the option of going to the West and killing the infidel, you very well might think that was the preferable option.

I’m certainly not advocating a career as a suicide bomber, no sensible person would, but I’m empathetic enough to see and feel how someone in that position could reach that rather unhappy conclusion.

Geoge Bush Junior did that. He handed the world enough ammo to hate the West for at least a couple more generations. Thanks, George. Well done! Bet the private sector can’t wait to get their hands on you!

Less than a year! Yippppeee to that, because anybody’s got to be better than Bush the lesser.

And whoever is next to inhabit that big ol’ white house is going to have their work cut out for them, as the bar has been set really high. They’re going to really have to push it if they want to top 935 lies. Let’s just hope their lies are all about the economy or the environment this time, because I am fucking sick of pointless wars that accomplished absolutely nothing!

I mentioned recently that I bought a brand new coffee making rig. It’s true.

Before xmas, I decided it was time to get a proper espresso maker. I’d rid myself of my old monstrosity; a combination steam driven espresso maker and 8-cup drip pot together in one ugly, black plastic casing.

I never used the drip pot and the espresso maker churned out drinkable, yet not quite right cappuccinos and lattes and I’m a bit of a coffee obsessive, especially now.

I started doing what I usually do when I’m interested in something, I surfed the internet and I found three really good websites:

www.coffeegeek.com

www.homebarista.com

www.toomuchcoffee.com

Each site is chock full of extremely useful information about coffee, from equipment reviews to bean recommendations and tips and tricks on how to get the best from your coffee. I learned loads, but still have lots more to learn. If you look carefully, you might even find some posts from me on one of the forums.

Growing up, I wasn’t into coffee. My parents either drank instant, or weak and watery filter coffee and all of it decaf.

It wasn’t until the early 80s that I had my first proper cappuccino. From then, I was hooked.

It wasn’t as easy as it is now to get a good coffee, this was in the days before there was a Starbucks on every corner, you had to look around to find places that made them right.

My Italian grandfather, my mother’s father, who came from just outside Naples, used to make espresso using a traditional stove-top, Moka pot and I can remember my parents saying that it was far too strong and bitter for their taste. I never got to try any, even though I wanted to. They said I wouldn’t like it. At that age, they were probably right, but I’ll never know. Grandpa’s been in heaven for a very long time.

I’ve owned a couple of steam driven espresso machines, besides the old one I recently binned. I bought my first one in the early 90s and used it for several years before it gave up the ghost. Another one followed and that lasted a few more years, but now, I own a proper machine.

It turned out, before I started my manic online information gathering exercise, I knew less than diddly squat about coffee.

For starters, the online coffee community refers to those steam driven espresso machines as “steam toys” as they don’t make real espresso. By steam driven, what I mean is that the water is heated to the temperature of steam and the steam pressure forces the overheated water through the ground coffee. That would make the water far too hot for brewing coffee.

Coffee should be brewed at just below boiling point; steam is water heated to beyond boiling point. That’s not good.

Proper espresso machines come in three varieties, all of them produce water at “brew temperature” plus steam for frothing milk, but each accomplishes this in different ways.

The most basic machine is called a single boiler-dual use machine and it works like this: Inside it is a a single boiler, with two user controllable thermostats, one heats the water to brew temp, the second brings it up to steam temp. The catch is, you have to wait for the machine to transition from one temp to the next, which can take a minute or so, depending upon the machine. You have to time what you are doing very carefully to get the most out of this machine. These are the least expensive as well and include most Gaggia home models and the Rancilio Silvia I contemplated buying.

At the other end of the scale are dual boiler machines; one at brew temp and a 2nd at steam temp. With this sort of system, you can pull shots and steam milk at the same time, without any waiting or transitioning. Most professional machines work this way.

And in the middle, the third category is what I bought, a heat exchanger (HX) machine. These are clever devices, they use one boiler which only comes up to steam temp, and the brew water is flash heated via a heat exchanger that passes through the boiler. This set up gives you continuous steam and brew capability, but without the extra complication of 2 boilers.

Have I bored the bejeezus out of you yet?
I’ll stop being technical now.

All of these machines are fairly simple to operate, but it takes a certain amount of knowledge and as I am learning, experience to maximise their potential.

By far the most important info I picked up from my new found coffee websites concerned beans and grinders. You need a seriously good grinder and you need freshly roasted beans.

Decent grinders, like anything good, aren’t cheap and my coffee expert pals all suggest you budget 50% of the cost of your espresso machine, for the grinder. Espresso machines can be quite finicky about how finely ground the coffee is, too fine and the machine will choke and you’ll get nothing out of it and if it is too coarse, your shot will pour too fast and you’ll have a cup of sour tasting swill.

Being a complete beginner at this, it took me a couple of hours of experimentation before I got my first drinkable shot from my new kit. Thankfully, the people I bought it from sent me a free kilo of roasted beans because I burned through half it on that first day and all but the last 2 shots went down the drain.

A proper espresso, single (1 oz) or double (2 oz), should take approximately 20-25 seconds to pour. Using lined shot glasses, marked at the 1 oz level and a stop watch, you aim for this magic timing and amount by adjusting the fineness of your grind. It took me a while to get a feel for all this, but since then I have used different beans, which required adjustments and have been able to fine-tune the grinder to improve my results. Today, I’ve made myself two cappuccinos and the espressos that went into them were the best I’ve made so far. They weren’t perfect, but I’m on my way!

By far, what has made the biggest difference to my coffee is fresh beans. I really wish someone share this key fact with me ages ago. Coffee beans need to rest for about 2 days after roasting, to allow for the CO2 gasses to be released, don’t ask me why. After that, its fresh for around 2 weeks, before it begins to go stale. Oh and it needs to be ground just prior to brewing, as its starts to go off within minutes of being turned to brown dust.

I didn’t know any of that shit! And its all true!

For the last few years, I’ve been using a cafetière, or press pot or French press, if you prefer, but I’ve been putting pre-ground, supermarket bought coffee into it. Drinkable, but nothing like the coffee I’ve been enjoying since I bought the new set-up.

Freshly ground beans are a revelation, with flavours so rich and complex that I don’t have the vocabulary or knowledge to really express it in any meaningful way. I can say, without question, that in the last week or so, I’ve had some of the best coffee I’ve ever tasted, anywhere!

Even Mrs. H noticed when I switched to the freshly roasted beans, that it tasted better. The place I’m getting them from is an online shop, which roasts them to order and ships them out, the same day. You receive them the next day, well packaged, with the date of roasting printed on the pack. And it’s not that expensive, either.

The espresso machine I bought is an Izzo Vivi, which is made in Italy, and is very shiny and heavy. The original design of this type of machine was patented in 1961 and it has a very distinctive grouphead, which if you visit coffee bars, you would probably recognise. It’s called an E61 grouphead; the grouphead is the bit they lock the portafilter into, just before brewing. Oh and the portafilter is the handle-thing which holds the filter basket, filled with ground coffee. I bet you know what I mean!

It took me ages to decide on which machine to buy and while my decision was guided and informed by those websites I mentioned, the person who helped me the most was the salesperson I spoke to at the online company where I bought it.

I spent nearly an hour on the telephone with this salesperson, asking as many questions as I could, including “which one do you own?” and “which one has the least returns?” The Izzo Vivi was the answer to both questions and I was sold. It was one of the models I was considering, anyway, so it wasn’t a complete surprise. Actually, the one I was leaning towards was significantly more expensive than the Vivi, but my salesperson friend said it wasn’t as well constructed and it was made of inferior components.

The Vivi is based on a commercial design and uses many of the same parts and components as its bigger, professional brothers. That means if and when it ever needs repairs, the new bits won’t be that expensive.

The place I bought it from is really cool, they give you a 2-year warranty plus they unbox, check and calibrate the machine, before shipping it to you. I was very impressed. They also double box it, which meant it arrived in pristine condition.

I also bought my grinder from this company, a Macap M4D, but I won’t bore you with too many details, except to say it is a professional piece of kit and should last for years, as should the espresso machine. They told me with care and maintenance, the Vivi should keep going for at least 20 years.

I’m not going to post a link to this company, as I don’t know if they would appreciate being associated with some drugged up weird-o like myself, but if anyone is interested in finding out more, please email me and I’ll gladly provide you with the link; just don’t tell ‘em the hippy sent you! I am very impressed with them and would heartily provide them with my seal of approval and recommendation. I don’t think I would have bought a machine in this price range, from anyone else.

Likewise for my source for coffee beans; I would love to throw some business their way, the coffee from them has been orgasmic and the service has been first class too, but I don’t want to piss them off because of who I am. I’m happy to provide the link privately, should you wish to try some for yourself and they’ll grind it for you, if you wish.

Some companies, like my good friends at EDIT are happy to be associated with me, others might find me a bit too controversial. That’s fair enough, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, or rather coffee.

In my world, coffee is a drug, just like anything else that effects your mood or central nervous system. Caffeine is a serious stimulant and I am very sensitive to it, always have been. That means I have to stop drinking coffee fairly early in my day, or sleep will be elusive come bedtime. It doesn’t matter, because I really love the stuff, never more than I do now!

My coffee journey? The title of the this entry, comes from a phrase I’ve seen often repeated, to newbies such as myself on coffee forums and it refers to the route you take to get the best coffee experience imaginable. With fresh beans, my new grinder and my new espresso machine, my journey has moved several light years ahead in a very positive direction.

Bottoms up!

A few days ago, I learned of a public consultation that’s to be held on the subject of the “possible” reclassification of cannabis. It takes place in London on the 5th of February.

This government has apparently decided the outcome of this consultation and Jacqui Smith has already leaked their decision to put cannabis back into Class B from its current status of Class C.

It widely known that the government has chosen this path for one simple reason, to appear “tough on drugs.” They identified this issue as one which Tony Blair and David Blunkett left them vulnerable to criticism that could be easily changed without much public outcry.

They’re correct on that score. How many dope smokers do you know that would attend a government-held, public consultation on cannabis, and confess to regularly breaking a law, which is about to become a lot harder on people who enjoy weed?

Let’s not bullshit around this…a change in classification from C to B means only one thing and that is to further criminalise people who smoke a bit of dope. The penalties for production and distribution of cannabis are exactly the same under class B and C - exactly the same! The difference is on the otherwise law abiding citizen, who partakes of this plant - the penalties for simple possession are significantly harsher.

Why would the government wish to criminalise so many people? Could it have to do with building new prisons and needing people to fill those places? Dopeheads aren’t dangerous or violent, you would have a prison population that was cheap and easy to manage!

Think that’s a bit “conspiracy theory” even for me? Ok, have you got a better explanation?

Just about every think tank, policy group and genuine expert feels it should be left class C, decriminalised or legalised completely. Many cops believe this too, and so do a fair few MPs and ministers, but many are afraid to voice their opinions for fear of the wrath of the Mail/Express/Telegraph set.

I considered attending that consultation on the 5th of Feb. I thought long and hard about going, stating my real name and reading a selection of entries I’ve written on this subject so near and dear to my heart. And then I pussied out.

Look, either we all go, or none of us go! That’s right, all 6 million (estimated) regular cannabis smokers have to register to attend. Every last one of us. I’ll go, if you’ll all go. They can’t put us all in jail, can they? If they try, we can just seek asylum in the Netherlands!

Here are a few interesting and related links:

This is from the cannazine and talks about the 5th Feb consultation and how they are ignoring the experts in the decision to regrade
Click Me.

This one is from the Independent, it’s the same story, only with some questionable mental health details thrown in to confuse the issue
Click Me.

This is from the Times and talks about how the government should base its policies on science, not emotion. It sites the cannabis “debate” as an example
Click Me.

And here again is my cannabis truth series, which is worth reading if you want to know the real story and not the twisted shit they want you to believe!
Click Me.

Ho hum.

As much as I dig being the northlondonhippy and believe me, I do, sometimes I struggle to force myself to sit down in front of my computer to produce high quality, web-based content that both informs and entertains.

In other words, sometimes I just can’t be arsed.

I’ve always got ideas and a running list of a dozen topics which would dazzle the average hippyfan. Of course, you are above average and require a higher standard from this hippy. Don’t worry, I’ll disappoint you all today.

I’m actually in a reasonable mood this week as I took delivery of my fancy new coffee set up. I’ll do a proper post on it in the near future, but I am pleased to report that I am already pulling reasonable shots and producing quite drinkable cappuccinos and lattes.

I’m sure its not helping that my birthday is imminent. I think that’s why January sucks so badly, because right off the back of the stupid holidays comes my dumb birthday.

Getting old sucks. Yes, highly original and thought provoking, wouldn’t you agree?

I don’t really mind getting older, not that I have a choice or would prefer the alternative, but that’s because I don’t look my age. How much longer can people still see me as youthful? I’m forty-fucking-five years old for fucks sake!

My birthday brings out my ageing obsession, but don’t despair, it peaks every year around January and fades into the background soon after that. Then I can move onto other obsessions, like my utter failure at life.

Haha.

I don’t really feel like a failure, but it’s amusing to make jokes about it.

Considering all my faults, its amazing I’ve done as well as I have out of life and I thank Satan every day for doing that deal with me back when I was a teenager. Eternal souls are overrated anyway, or at least that’s what my master, er beastmaster tells me. If only I thought to ask him to make me taller! Being short sucks more than getting old, any day!

This is just a quick one for those of you who have been dropping by looking for the “northlondonhippy BB column”.

And how do I know you were looking? I know because I am sad and I occasionally look at my user logs. Don’t worry, I’m not spying on you and I wouldn’t know how to spy on you, online, anyway!

What I do glance at (and I have mentioned this before) are the search terms used to locate my site. Running quite high at present is “northlondonhippy BB column” and its really nice that so many of you remember…but haven’t you all heard of bookmarking! Trust me, I’m worth it.

I’m sorry to disappoint my fellow BB fans, but I haven’t watched any of the current series, not a single moment. The format just didn’t grab me.

BB is about the people in the house, not the voice of Big Brother. The fact that for the most part, we usually don’t get to see the occupant of the “voice of god booth” is a good thing.

Making a feature out of the voice of BB by casting various celebrities is a lame idea. Changing the format was an ill conceived idea, executed by people who were too quick to give in to the slightest whiff of controversy and pressure. It lacks backbone and conviction and is a total cop-out. It also cheapens the BB brand.

Look at how it has been relegated to E4, which many people without digital television still don’t receive. And where’s Davina? Even her greedy management could smell the rotten stink on this one and gave her the winter off.

And how about that Dermot O’Leary? Sure they are letting him front this series, which is his last on the programme, because Dermie thinks the X-Factor is a better bet. I believe I read in the newspaper that even he has been critical of this series and I had to read it twice to make sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you! Even I don’t publicly criticise my employers like that (though privately is another story).

I’m sure I would be watching if it was just plain ol’ c-list celebrity BB, I’d even be watching if it was a regular BB, minus any celebrity component, but this current rubbish has no appeal to me.

If they’ve lost me as a viewer, they have really fucked it up this time. If I was to guess, I would expect the final decision to shift the format rests with Channel 4 and not Endemol, but I have no evidence to back up this supposition. C4 handled the whole Shilpa Shetty thing badly and I reckon the same suits hijacked this series of BB.

We’re already over a week into 2008 and I haven’t posted a thing. In that case, belated New Year greetings and seasonal wishes to you. I hope that this brand new year brings you everything you’ve ever hoped and dreamed for.

This is a shitty time of year for me, as I am not a fan of the holiday season, cold, grey weather, or my birthday which is also falls this month. Another year down the drain is all I can think.

I’m going to be 45 this month, which is undeniably middle-age, or at least how we define it. The reality of me actually making it to 90 is laughably ludicrous, which makes the term middle-aged a total sham in my case.

I don’t feel 45, not that I even know what 45 should feel like. I still feel 15, which could say more about my stunted emotional growth than anything else. Ageing is the physical process, maturity refers to your mental age. Maybe I am 15?

Sometimes I think I am obsessed with ageing and growing old; it’s even a category on my blog. I do think about it too much. It’s the passage of time that really gets me, not the growing old.

My life is finite. I only have so much time and with each day that slips by, I have less. If I am really hoping to accomplish anything with my life, I better get my skates on or come to terms with the reality that my dreams will never come true. I’m not sure which one is worse.

The change in the calendar, combined with a milestone birthday is really bumming me out. You see, even hippies get the blues. Forty-five years of underachievement and failure can have that effect on even the cheeriest of souls and trust me fuckers, the last thing I am is cheery!

What’s a poor hippy to do?

The usual, just keep plodding along, doing whatever it is I do and distracting myself as best I can. If it weren’t for soft drugs and consumer purchases, my life would be as empty as a void in deep space!

Oh and don’t forget my exercises in creative futility! I am going to record that album of original northlondonhippy music!

And I am going to work on my novel. My real novel, the one I have been planning for over a decade. I did knock out 2 other novels in the last few years, the second one will be published soon I hope. They’re not under my real name, they’re not even under my hippy banner. I don’t really count them, but they were fun to write.

My real novel will actually be done under my REAL NAME. I don’t do anything under my real name, so that should tell you how serious I’m taking it. It’s also why I’ve been taking so long with it, I want to get this one 100% right. I want it to be a literary masterwork, which perfectly captures the human condition.

I want a lot of things.

Like right now, what I want is a high-end, pump driven, espresso machine and this has become my latest obsession. I’ve been hanging out on a couple of coffee-obsessive websites, CoffeeGeek and HomeBarista are my two current favourites. If you’re serious about coffee, you should really have a look.

Don’t laugh. The pursuit of the perfect espresso is right up this hippy’s street. After all, caffeine is a drug and we all know I dig drugs and I also adore a good ritual as prerequisite to enjoying any drug. Espresso extraction is a skill and at the hobbiest level and beyond, it becomes a religion.

There are some seriously serious people out there making some amazing coffee at home and I want to be one of them. I’ve been doing research online for the last month or so and am now ready to take the plunge.

The first thing I learned is that the grinder you buy is every bit as important as the espresso machine you choose. And if you’re serious about coffee, you will only want beans freshly roasted, they start to go stale after around 2 weeks. You need to spend at least 50% of what you spend on the espresso machine, on a decent grinder.

Pulling the perfect shot of espresso isn’t simple, it requires knowledge, practise and skill, but if you can master this, you will be rewarded with exceptional coffee every time.

The home espresso scene is nowhere near as big in the UK as it is in north America, but there are several companies specialising in high-end kit. After a lot of research and careful consideration, I’ve decided to go with the Rancilio Silvia espresso machine, paired with Rancilio’s Rocky grinder - the doserless model. It has quite a good reputation with aficionados online, but is not an easy machine to master. I think that’s part of the appeal, that I will have to work hard to get the best results.

That’s what hobbies are; distractions from reality. My new found coffee obsession is a healthy diversion from the things that bring me down. Once I have perfected my extraction technique and I am regularly fuelled with the finest cappuccinos, expertly crafted, I will be buzzing with caffeine. That in turn should inspire me to spend more of my increasing limited free time, writing. Everyone wins!

I’ll be ordering my new machine hopefully this week, as soon as they come back in stock following a rush on them for xmas. I’m hoping that by next week, I’ll be brewing my own, right here in my north London lair. How fucking cool with that be!

My life might not be perfect, but at least my coffee soon will be!