The northlondonhippy

Atten­tion: Hippyfans!

As pre­viewed in a recent post, I am pleased to announce my lat­est and dare I say great­est con­test, ever!

Bet­ter than when you gave away your old bong?

Oh yes!

Bet­ter than when you gave away your old car?

Nobody won my old car, so I swapped it for an ounce of skunk.

Bet­ter than when you gave away even your­self?

Oh come on, a gift-wrapped turd would be bet­ter than that!

This time, I’m going to be giv­ing away a brand new, shiny, Mid­night Blue Bush­mas­ter Bub­bler, just like mine!

I’ve had one of these Bush­mas­ter Bub­blers for quite a while now and it is gen­uinely one of the sweet­est pieces I own. It’s per­fect for chill­ing out on the sofa, watch­ing TV and get­ting pleas­antly toasted. You can smoke your favourite herbal mix­ture in it.

Per­son­ally, I pre­fer pure skunky bud.

Not only am I going to give away this amaz­ingly well crafted piece of glass­ware, but I’m also going to include 10x glass gauze, because I know you’re going to end up los­ing them.

But there’s more…

Five very lucky run­ners up will receive Smi­ley Face — Head Case — Pop Tins. I have a cou­ple of them and they are very use­ful. And you might have noticed, the clas­sic smi­ley face makes an appear­ance in the ban­ner at the top of this page. So, we’ll be like, just so, you know, con­nected!

And ten “we didn’t lose, but we’re not huge win­ners” will receive one pack of Drag­on­fly King­sized Pre­mium Flavoured Rolling Papers, which come in Blue­berry, Choco­late, Cherry, Coconut and Straw­berry — yum! The flavour you receive will be cho­sen at ran­dom, by me.

Actu­ally, every­thing I’m giv­ing away in this con­test is being pro­vided by me, though clearly from the links pro­vided, I’m buy­ing it all from my friends at EDIT. In other words, EDIT aren’t respon­si­ble for this con­test in any way, so if you have any ques­tions about it, please con­tact me directly.

Oh and I’m pay­ing for the postage too, but if you have prob­lems with your mail deliv­ery, please don’t con­tact me.

So just to recap:

1st prize :
– a Mid­night Blue — Bush­mas­ter Bub­bler, just like the hippy smokes
– 10 x glass gauze — jack style
– an auto­graphed photo of me***

2nd prize (5 of these)
– a Smi­ley Face — Head Case — Pop Tin for your stash, just like the hippy uses
– an auto­graphed photo of me***

3rd prize (10 of these)
– Drag­on­fly King­size Pre­mium Flavoured Papers, because they’re yummy
– an auto­graphed photo of me***

4th prize
there is no fourth prize, sorry.

Enter­ing my con­test couldn’t be eas­ier, sim­ply drop by my north Lon­don lair and per­form an extended act of oral love upon me and you’ll have a good chance of winning.

Per­haps that’s not easy enough, as not that many of you can get to north Lon­don, so lets sim­plify it a bit more…

Enter­ing my con­test is as easy as send­ing me an email, there’s no cost at all. Just shoot one to:

thehippy@northlondonhippy.com

and make sure you put:

Gimme your bub­bler you crazy hippy!!

in the sub­ject line!

You can do that. Your granny could do that, though why she’d want my bub­bler, I really couldn’t say. At her age, a vape is prob­a­bly a bet­ter bet, anyway.

Now the bor­ing, tedious, legal dis­claimer bit. Such a bum­mer, what a bring down, I wish I knew how to shrink the font so it could be proper “fine print”, but I can’t. I’m stoopid. Any­way, here goes.

1) The con­test is open to res­i­dents of the United King­dom (includ­ing NI) and the Euro­pean Union only. Sorry, but I don’t want to be fill­ing out cus­toms dec­la­ra­tions for water pipes.

2) You’ve got to be 18 years or older. For real, and a fake ID won’t do it. If you’re under 18, you prob­a­bly shouldn’t be here any­way, though I guess telling you that will make you want to stick around even more. You still can’t enter the con­test. Don’t worry, there will be other con­tests and if I keep run­ning this site long enough, even­tu­ally you’ll all be old enough to enter.

3) Entry closes at mid­night (BST) on Thurs 1st May 2008 and any entries received after this time will not be con­sid­ered valid. I am giv­ing you nearly a month and how long does it take to send an email?

4) If you are selected as the win­ner, you will need to sup­ply a valid postal address. You can use a fake name if you like, but you need to use an address where you can receive it, espe­cially the bub­bler, because that won’t fit through your let­ter­box, even if the other prizes will. I won’t be using a real return address, so if it doesn’t get to you, it doesn’t come back here either.

5) It’s my con­test and they’re my rules and what I say goes. I’ll pick the win­ners and I’ll let you know by email if you’ve won. If you haven’t heard back from me, ask­ing for your address, then on this occa­sion your entry was unsuc­cess­ful, but best of luck in the future. (last sen­tence lifted from every rejec­tion let­ter I’ve ever received, mainly from ex-girlfriends)

6) I’m the judge too and the judge’s rul­ings are final

7) Pur­chase not necessary…it’s not even pos­si­ble since I don’t sell any­thing directly!

8) The rules are sub­ject to change with­out notice and every­thing is at my dis­cre­tion. (this is num­ber eight)

9) Par­tic­i­pat­ing in this con­test does not effect your statu­tory rights

10) Your mileage may vary

11) This con­test is void in your area if pro­hib­ited by local law

12) No guar­an­tees will be under­taken in the deliv­ery of the prize, if the postal ser­vice loses it, we all lose!

13) The hippy is in no way respon­si­ble for any­thing that might hap­pen as a result of you win­ning the prize or what might fol­low after any pos­si­ble use of the prize. If you get in trou­ble with your par­ents, your part­ner or the police, it is your respon­si­bil­ity, not the hippy’s in any shape or form. The win­ner is solely respon­si­ble for every­thing! You can’t blame the hippy for jack­shit, so don’t even try, fuckers!

14) If I think of any­thing else, it counts and you can’t sue me for it. I’m just try­ing to do some­thing nice for my fans, don’t hate me for that!

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***There are actu­ally not going to be any auto­graphed pho­tos. Would any­one really want one anyway?