Attention: Hippyfans!

As previewed in a recent post, I am pleased to announce my latest and dare I say greatest contest, ever!

Better than when you gave away your old bong?

Oh yes!

Better than when you gave away your old car?

Nobody won my old car, so I swapped it for an ounce of skunk.

Better than when you gave away even yourself?

Oh come on, a gift-wrapped turd would be better than that!

This time, I’m going to be giving away a brand new, shiny, Midnight Blue Bushmaster Bubbler, just like mine!

I’ve had one of these Bushmaster Bubblers for quite a while now and it is genuinely one of the sweetest pieces I own. It’s perfect for chilling out on the sofa, watching TV and getting pleasantly toasted. You can smoke your favourite herbal mixture in it.

Personally, I prefer pure skunky bud.

Not only am I going to give away this amazingly well crafted piece of glassware, but I’m also going to include 10x glass gauze, because I know you’re going to end up losing them.

But there’s more…

Five very lucky runners up will receive Smiley Face - Head Case - Pop Tins. I have a couple of them and they are very useful. And you might have noticed, the classic smiley face makes an appearance in the banner at the top of this page. So, we’ll be like, just so, you know, connected!

And ten “we didn’t lose, but we’re not huge winners” will receive one pack of Dragonfly Kingsized Premium Flavoured Rolling Papers, which come in Blueberry, Chocolate, Cherry, Coconut and Strawberry - yum! The flavour you receive will be chosen at random, by me.

Actually, everything I’m giving away in this contest is being provided by me, though clearly from the links provided, I’m buying it all from my friends at EDIT. In other words, EDIT aren’t responsible for this contest in any way, so if you have any questions about it, please contact me directly.

Oh and I’m paying for the postage too, but if you have problems with your mail delivery, please don’t contact me.

So just to recap:

1st prize :
- a Midnight Blue - Bushmaster Bubbler, just like the hippy smokes
- 10 x glass gauze - jack style
- an autographed photo of me***

2nd prize (5 of these)
- a Smiley Face - Head Case - Pop Tin for your stash, just like the hippy uses
- an autographed photo of me***

3rd prize (10 of these)
- Dragonfly Kingsize Premium Flavoured Papers, because they’re yummy
- an autographed photo of me***

4th prize
there is no fourth prize, sorry.

Entering my contest couldn’t be easier, simply drop by my north London lair and perform an extended act of oral love upon me and you’ll have a good chance of winning.

Perhaps that’s not easy enough, as not that many of you can get to north London, so lets simplify it a bit more…

Entering my contest is as easy as sending me an email, there’s no cost at all. Just shoot one to:

thehippy@northlondonhippy.com

and make sure you put:

Gimme your bubbler you crazy hippy!!

in the subject line!

You can do that. Your granny could do that, though why she’d want my bubbler, I really couldn’t say. At her age, a vape is probably a better bet, anyway.

Now the boring, tedious, legal disclaimer bit. Such a bummer, what a bring down, I wish I knew how to shrink the font so it could be proper “fine print”, but I can’t. I’m stoopid. Anyway, here goes.

1) The contest is open to residents of the United Kingdom (including NI) and the European Union only. Sorry, but I don’t want to be filling out customs declarations for water pipes.

2) You’ve got to be 18 years or older. For real, and a fake ID won’t do it. If you’re under 18, you probably shouldn’t be here anyway, though I guess telling you that will make you want to stick around even more. You still can’t enter the contest. Don’t worry, there will be other contests and if I keep running this site long enough, eventually you’ll all be old enough to enter.

3) Entry closes at midnight (BST) on Thurs 1st May 2008 and any entries received after this time will not be considered valid. I am giving you nearly a month and how long does it take to send an email?

4) If you are selected as the winner, you will need to supply a valid postal address. You can use a fake name if you like, but you need to use an address where you can receive it, especially the bubbler, because that won’t fit through your letterbox, even if the other prizes will. I won’t be using a real return address, so if it doesn’t get to you, it doesn’t come back here either.

5) It’s my contest and they’re my rules and what I say goes. I’ll pick the winners and I’ll let you know by email if you’ve won. If you haven’t heard back from me, asking for your address, then on this occasion your entry was unsuccessful, but best of luck in the future. (last sentence lifted from every rejection letter I’ve ever received, mainly from ex-girlfriends)

6) I’m the judge too and the judge’s rulings are final

7) Purchase not necessary…it’s not even possible since I don’t sell anything directly!

8) The rules are subject to change without notice and everything is at my discretion. (this is number eight)

9) Participating in this contest does not effect your statutory rights

10) Your mileage may vary

11) This contest is void in your area if prohibited by local law

12) No guarantees will be undertaken in the delivery of the prize, if the postal service loses it, we all lose!

13) The hippy is in no way responsible for anything that might happen as a result of you winning the prize or what might follow after any possible use of the prize. If you get in trouble with your parents, your partner or the police, it is your responsibility, not the hippy’s in any shape or form. The winner is solely responsible for everything! You can’t blame the hippy for jackshit, so don’t even try, fuckers!

14) If I think of anything else, it counts and you can’t sue me for it. I’m just trying to do something nice for my fans, don’t hate me for that!

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***There are actually not going to be any autographed photos. Would anyone really want one anyway?