Yo.

I haven’t pointlessly rambled here in a while. It’s just an observation.

I woke up early this morning, silly early, before 6:30am. Blame a blocked nose, a noisy cat and the threat of a couple of deliveries for this early morning appearance. I had an alarm set for 7:30am anyway, so its not a tragedy that I am up so early.

I’ve got a shipment of fresh coffee beans coming from my online roaster…yes, I am still madly into fresh coffee. I had to ease back from it a bit thanks to my thyroid problems, but I am feeling a little better, which means caffeine and I are buddies again.

I couldn’t really handle coffee for a couple of months, which was quite depressing for someone who adores the stuff. For a while, I thought it was down to side effects from my thyroid medication, but my doctor told me it wasn’t, it was the actual disease causing the breathlessness and heart palpitations.

For about the last fortnight, I haven’t had those symptoms because around a week prior to that, my doctor up the dosage on the thyroid meds. I’m still not on a high dose and its likely to be increased again in December, after my next blood test. I just think the new dose is having some sort of therapeutic effect on me.

I’ve also seemed more energetic in the last week or so and I am feeling more myself than I have in a long time. That’s a good thing.

My back has been a lot better too. You might remember that’s how all this health nonsense started, with a crippling back problem. I never do anything that’s straightforward, so naturally my thyroid condition caused inflammation in my back!

I was off from work for about 8 or 9 weeks in the end and my doctor offered (or rather suggested) that I take even more time off but my bank account couldn’t afford it. I went back for a couple of nights a couple of weeks ago and it was a serious struggle, but I had another long planned gap of 2 weeks between shifts and my health improved somewhat during that time.

While I was off, I had the joys of having builders in, refitting my ancient bathroom. I’d been trying to get this done for years, but finding someone reliable and trustworthy was nearly impossible. In the end, I found a plumbing company that was not ridiculously expensive and did the job fairly well, but it meant nearly two weeks of disruption in my home.

The new bathroom is simple and modern, replacing a 30-40 year old bathroom that was neither. I’m just happy to have it finished.

Returning to work this time was far less daunting because I am genuinely starting to feel better. After being part time for October, I’m back to working full time in November. Trust me, its a welcome return and not just for the financial reasons.

I like working and I’ve missed it; I’ve missed my work mates too. That said, I am getting increasingly bored with being asked where I’ve been for the last couple of months and having to explain all of my health woes. I thought about preparing a written press statement, that I could hand out and refer to when repeatedly questioned, but people would think that was weird.

I’m sure some of the people asking genuinely care how I am, but the majority are just asking to be nosy. I also thought about making shit up and giving everyone a different answer on my whereabouts, like:

- I was on a secret mission for the queen
- I was directing my first feature film
- I was on tour with my band
- I was in a drug induced coma
- I was having my shinbones stretched (and it didn’t work!)
- I ran away and joined the circus
- I was on an EU wide thrill-killing spree

And my personal favourite:
- I don’t know where I’ve been, I have amnesia

The only place I ever want to talk about myself is right here on my website. In real life, I’d much rather be ignored and not have to explain myself to others. I’m actually quite a private person, reclusive even, but when people pretend to be interested in your life, you have to pretend you’re happy for their interest. Social niceties have to be respected, even when you know its all bullshit…especially when you know its all bullshit.

But not you, of course. You’re deeply interested in every single aspect of my blessed existence and you hang on my every word. Online, I’m used to the attention and I crave it like a drug.

Ok, not really like a drug and believe me I know the difference.

It’s more like leaving the curtains open, while you change your clothing in front of the window. I’m giving you the choice to peep at me, but its up to you if you choose to cast your glance in my direction and if you do, you might see more than you expected.

My life is an open book here on the internet, available for you to casually thumb through the more interesting chapters, assuming one day I might write some. We can all wait for that day to come, but until then you’ll just have to put up with whatever drivel I post.

Like this pointless entry about my rather pointless life.