As much as I like to pretend I am perfection personified, the truth is I am a deeply flawed individual.

My life is literally littered with bad decisions and unfortunate choices, the results of which continue to dog my days on a daily basis.

It’s fine to reflect upon ones mistakes, as long as one is not mistaken into thinking that something can be done to rectify them. The choices you make can’t usually be undone and the consequences will be with you until the day you die and may even continue to effect others after you’re gone.

I’ve got no particular decisions in mind, this has more to do with a general overview than anything specific.

I don’t want you to think every choice I’ve made in my life has been wrong, I’ve made some good choices too, but lately I’ve been thinking about some of those moments in my life, where I zigged when perhaps I should have zagged.

It’s easy to second guess your own decisions after the fact, when the fullness of time and experience yield the missing pieces of the puzzle that weren’t available at the time of taking the decision. It’s also an exercise in futility.

Much of life is futile and pointless, so its not really enough of a reason not to think about these things.

There’s a theory that states every time a decision is made, the universe is split and alternative realities follow both paths and that all of existence consists of a “multi-verse” of infinite existence. Everything that can happen, does happen, just not in your reality.

Somewhere in the multi-verse, there’s a version of me that successful, happy and fully fulfilled. No doubt taller, too.

How’d I get stuck in this reality? If there really is a multi-verse, then in at least one of them (and possibly many more), I’m king of the planet and in charge of you all. Don’t worry, if there are infinite possibilities, then you get to be king or queen of the world yourself, and I get to be your slave.

Not all of the realities in the multi-verse would be sunny, as I expect there are plenty that don’t turn out as well. Think about it, how many realities exist without me? Perhaps in some, I was still born and never even got to take my first breath.

I know that even when my decisions have been wrong, they’ve been right for me at the time. I have to believe that, because I can’t travel back in time and change them. At least not yet, anyway, but give me another six months and my time machine will be up and running and I’ll be charging loads of dosh for rides to the past and future. Think you can afford it?

My many personality flaws, at least as I see them, colour my every move. I’m certainly my own worst enemy and I’m more responsible for holding myself back than anyone else.

I used to genuinely believe that anything is possible, but as I get older, I’m less convinced. As you get older, the corridor of options narrows and while you may still create the illusion of choice, your choices become more and more limited with each passing day.

I can’t remember where I heard this one, but it made a lot of sense: “You spend the first half of your life acquiring things and the second half having them all taken away from you.”

I’m undeniably in the 2nd half of my life. It’s not too much of a stretch to see where things are going for me. Its all downhill from here.

Can you tell that my birthday is approaching? It’s about 2 months away. Hey ho.

If I had the chance to do it all again, would I do things differently? Of course I would, what honest person wouldn’t?

That doesn’t mean I would do everything differently, but there are a few wrongs I would certainly put right.

It doesn’t matter because no one gets a second chance, except in the multi-verse reality where reincarnation happens and it was just my luck not to end up in that one either.

Socrates said “the unexamined life is not worth living”. If that is really true, then I have the most worthy life known to man.

Either that or my narcissistic tendencies are starting to overwhelm being an obsessive-compulsive sociopath with manic-depressive tendencies.

You have a nice day, too.