The northlondonhippy

Archive for December, 2008

On Christmas Eve, I found out my mother passed away. She would have been 79 next month.

She died the night of the 22nd, the cause of death was pneumonia. I’m told she died peacefully, whatever that means.

Long time readers of my site will probably remember that my mother had a severe stroke nearly seven years ago and never recovered from it. She was pretty much bed-bound, unable to walk or speak clearly. She could just about feed herself and she needed help getting to the toilet.

More detail than you probably need to know.

She went into the hospital the previous week, though I wasn’t aware of it at the time. Short of her dying, my stateside relatives had never got in touch before. This wasn’t the first time she’d gone into hospital in the last few years and I wasn’t told.

The way I found out was less than ideal.

When I woke up at 8pm on Tues night, I had an email from a cousin I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 20 years, plus I’d had a couple of international hang-ups on my landline.

I didn’t have to be a genius to work out the most likely reason behind this sudden contact.

I also didn’t know what to do.

My cousin wanted me to phone him back because he had “something important” to tell me. Instead, I spent the 45 minutes before my departure for work, doing what I always do, having a coffee, a cigarette and a shower, before dressing and leaving.

I decided to email him back, letting him know I was working and not in a position to phone him. Of course, I could have phoned if I wanted to, but I didn’t. I also told him to feel free to share the news via email and that I was braced for the worst.

Around seven hours later, I received his reply confirming my suspicions, that my mother was dead.

She’s not having a viewing or a funeral, just a quick cremation. It’s the same thing my father did. We’re not big on funerals in my immediate family, but it means I don’t have to go rushing off to the states.

I don’t need to go at all.

I was supposed to work on xmas eve and xmas, but as you might expect I didn’t. I’m going back on Sunday, though. What else would I do?

I loved my mother very much, but I let her down badly in the last few years of her life. When she had her stroke, I was in the states for a couple of months, helping her and helping my father.

And then I came back to north London and broke apart into tiny little bits. For around 6 months, I cultivated a fairly impressive cocaine and cognac habit, with some E’s mixed in occasionally for good measure. Not long after that, I fucked up my previous job.

It drove me nuts that I couldn’t do anything meaningful to help my parents in their old age.

And then my father got sick.

He spent the first year after my mother came home from the hospital and rehab worrying about what would happen to my mother if he got sick. All the worry got him sick and less than a year after that, he passed away from cancer.

I didn’t go to visit.

I couldn’t risk it.

I’m a pussy.

I had planned to visit my mother after my father died, but she gave up her home and moved into a nursing home, near one of her sisters. The one that was always the most evil auntie imaginable.

I warned my mother that it would all end in tears. It did, when my aunt decided it was all too much for her and she washed her hands of my mother and her financial affairs about 6 months ago. A distant relative of my father’s stepped in to take care of things, but it left my mother in an area of the world where she had no one else.

Had my mother stayed put in her home, or chose a nursing home near there, she would have had a constant stream of visitors as she had many friends who lived locally, but instead she gave all that up on my evil auntie’s insistence.

For the few years my mother lived in the nursing home, she would complain about my aunt, even telling us that my aunt wouldn’t let her see current bank statements. I can’t prove anything, but my mother said she was nicking dosh.

Nice.

Just about every relative I have, stole something from my mother. One of my half-brother’s took money from her account and never returned it, other’s took keepsakes and anything of value.

My younger brother went to see my mother, once, while she was in the nursing home and my evil auntie made certain his trip was miserable. She treated him badly, but worse, treated my mother badly and disrespectfully in front of him.

Old evil auntie made a point of telling my mother, in front of my brother, that she threw away every photograph she found in my mother’s house when she was clearing it out in preparation for the move to the nursing home. Every photo from my childhood, plus 8mm home movies from the 60’s and 70’s was casually tossed into a skip.

Imagine if someone did that to your childhood. What would you do?

What could I do?

This evil fucking cunt took over my mother’s life and made her miserable, though the last time my brother spoke to my mother, she said my aunt had visited and tried to make peace. How nice for evil cunt auntie.

I know I’m not the only one with a tragically fucked up family, but now that my mother is gone, so is my very last connection to them. Its just my brother and I, a couple of middle-aged orphans from a deeply dysfunctional family.

The other blessing to come out of all this is my mother is now no longer a prisoner of her damaged and withered body. For nearly 7 years she’s been trapped inside a physical form that wouldn’t and couldn’t bend to her will.

The night after my mother had her massive stroke, the hospital phoned my father and told him my mother was in a coma and couldn’t breathe on her own. They needed to put her on life-support or she would die.

My mother had an up-to-date living will, that clearly stated in such circumstances, no heroic efforts should be made to sustain her life, if her prospects for a full recovery were nil.

My father, desperately afraid and ill-prepared to live life without my mother, took the chicken-shit option and told them to go ahead and put tubes down her throat, for breathing and feeding. He went completely against her wishes.

My father was in denial; at the point, he wouldn’t and couldn’t accept that my mother wasn’t going to recover. Instead his fear and inability to deal with the truth of the situation, condemned my mother to an existence I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

He thought he was doing the right thing and for months, he continued to insist that my mother walked into the hospital on her own and dammit, she would walk back out.

She never took another unaided step in her life.

When I read my cousin’s first email, I’d been awake around 30 seconds. It was delivered to my iPhone and I saw it just after I turned the alarm on it off. In my bleary-eyed first reading of it, an image immediately flashed into my head.

It was both of my parents, together. And they were smiling.

I don’t believe in the afterlife, but I knew in that instant that my mother really had finally joined my father and if I could build a heaven for the two of them, I surely would.

Rest in sweet peace, Mom.

Hey fuckers!

Dig this shit! I now have the ability to post to my blog directly from my iPhone.

At least I think I do. We will find out for sure when I attempt to post this bad boy on my site.

If you’re reading this shit, then it worked. And you can maybe expect more mobile blogging on the future.

Its only a few more days till xmas and you can feel things gradually winding down. The schools are closing, millions of people are travelling and the shops are trying to shift their last bits of tat.

I’m winding down too, though not quite in the same way. I’m working all week, straight through until Boxing Day morning. Somebody’s got to!

There are loads of people who have to work over xmas, even in the western, Christian world. Spare a thought for us when your tucking into your turkey and cursing your relatives.

No nostalgic trips down memory lane for me this year, I’m just going to grit my teeth and get through it as quickly and uneventfully as possible. I’m off for the New Year though, which is a good thing because I do like to party more than I like to eat turkey.

To say my holiday will be low-key would be an understatement. Aside from working, I’m ready to hunker down. I’ve got all my supplies in or coming, thanks to an Ocado delivery on Monday, my limited amount of xmas shopping is complete and I am ready to draw the curtains, lock the door and not do anything for around a week.

I’m making it sound a lot bleaker than it really is. I chose to spend my holidays this way.

I hope you’ve had the good fortune to choose how you’re spending your holidays too. If you’re lucky, you will be surrounded by family that you don’t hate or maybe even like just a little bit.

Just because I’m not celebrating xmas, doesn’t mean I don’t remember what they’re like!

Wherever you are and whatever you find yourself doing, I want to bid you all the happiest of holidays. I hope all your wishes and dreams come true!

With apologies to the Marx Brothers….

Check out this photo I took of a shopping mall Santa Clause:

Santa Clause has a giant rubber head!

Did you notice Santa is wearing a giant rubber head?

Why do you think that is?

When I was a kid, Santa was an old man, with a fake beard, smelling faintly of booze and piss. And when you sat on his lap, it sometimes felt like he had a pepperoni in is pocket.

Gross.

Today’s modern Santa is nothing like that, with his giant rubber head, clean clothing and A WOMAN playing him!

That’s right, my money is on a person of the female persuasion inside that particular Santa suit.

It makes sense hiring a woman, no booze, no piss, no erections and no expensive defence lawyers to defend against costly civil law suits.

And if Santa wants to take a break from the airless rubber mask, no problem, she can just switch costumes with the Elf. Everybody wins.

Except your kids, who will forever think Santa has a giant rubber head. How will he ever fit down the chimney?

There’s only ten days left till xmas and if you haven’t finished your shopping yet, I’m here to help.

Its a short list of potential gifts, but ones that will be certain to impress and dazzle the recipient. Also, you can order them online and have them ready to dole out on xmas without having to leave the comfort of your home. That’s the best way to xmas shop!

Kodak Zi6 HD Videocamera
Amazon UK: £ 89.99

The Kodak Zi6 HD Videocamera is an impressive little piece of kit. While pocket sized, this little marvel shoots in gloriously rich and detailed 720p High-Def, while recording onto cheap and readily available SD cards.

The Zi6 also shoots in standard, YouTube friendly VGA, has a built in USB connector and works like a dream. On my Mac, it just appears as a hard drive on the desktop, you drag the files onto your desktop, then into iMovie, which can handle them in HD quality.

On a PC, the Zi6 includes built in editing software, that you can run from the camera. Sweet.

It also shoots stills, has a 2x optical zoom and works off standard or rechargable AA batteries. I am so impressed with this camera already.

I bought mine a few weeks ago and paid £119.99, which means at £89.99, its already a major bargain! If you’re looking for a simple to use pocket videocamera that won’t break the bank, this is the camera for you.

iPod Touch
Amazon UK: £149-£254 depending upon storage (8gb, 16gb or 32gb)

I know I go on and on about my iPhone, but what if you are already happy with your current mobile deal, but still want to play with the coolest hand held gadget ever? The iPod Touch is for you!

The iPod Touch is basically an iPhone without the phone. It does nearly everything an iPhone can do except make and receive telephone calls, send and receive SMS messages, take photos and have proper GPS. Other than that, it does everything else.

You can run most apps on an iPod Touch, you can surf the net, send and receive emails, it does have some location awareness based on wi-fi positioning. Oh and it plays music and videos and displays photos too.

I bought one for Mrs. Hippy last xmas and she absolutely loves it. She used it for music until the Apple App Store opened and that’s when she really got hooked. She now uses it for surfing, for gaming and its rarely not in her hands.

The 2nd generation iPod Touch is even slimmer than the first and its added a small speaker and the ability to input audio via an external microphone, making it even more flexible than the original model.

The only negative Mrs. H has come up with on it is it makes her wish she had an iPhone. The lack of connectivity when there is no wi-fi available is a real sticking point. Other than that, its nearly a perfect device, guaranteed to be used daily by whoever you might give it to.

Volcano Vaporiser
everyonedoesit.com – £279.75 for the standard model

I bought one of these a few months ago, but it is something I’ve coveted for ages. Near as I can tell, its the only vape that really works and consistently delivers good results.

The Volcano Vaporiser does one thing and does it very well, it takes your favourite herb (like weed) and turns the active bits into vapour, while leaving the nasty bits alone.

When you smoke weed, you burn everything, including the carbon-based bits which contain the known carcinogens and other nasties. You also burn a good chunk of the THC, before it reaches your lungs.

A vaporiser only burns the THC. leaving the other components alone. The weed doesn’t actually burn, but it does get a bit toasted and turns brown.

The Volcano works by filling a small chamber, which holds your weed between two screens. You place this chamber on top of the base unit, where it is heated to the proper temperature. You then engage a small fan, which blows air up through the chamber, filling an attached balloon with very sweet, pure vapour.

When you inhale it, you can definitely taste the weed, but your throat and lungs don’t feel anything at all. The vapour is at room temp, so its not hot and dry like smoke, and it is very light, though you can see it when you exhale.

The head on vapour is also different from smoking and is hard to describe. It is deceptively strong, clean, clear and every enjoyable.

By far the most impressive thing about using a Volcano is how little weed you actually need to get high. A week’s worth of what I would smoke, would probably last 5-6 weeks in the volcano. A spliff’s worth in the chamber is enough to get 4 people pleasantly stoned and then some.

And when you are done vaping the weed, don’t throw it away, there’s still some THC left in it, which you can extract by making cannabutter. You could even smoke it if you were desperate, though that would kind of defeat the purpose of vaping.

I know the Volcano is expensive (and I bought the even pricier digital version), but it will more than pay for itself with the money you will save on weed. Add the health benefits and you’ve got a really useful, beneficial device that will change your life.

I bought mine because I am planning on giving up cigarettes in the new year. When I do, I’m going to want to cut down on my spliffs as well and I think this will help loads.

That’s it for this year, just three hi-tech toys which will amaze anyone you might decide to give them to. And if you’re shopping for yourself, even better, you’d love them all too!

There’s was an avalanche of media bullshit this week over a documentary aired on SKY REAL LIVES which showed a man with motor neurone disease taking his own life at a Swiss clinic in 2006.

Switzerland is currently the only country in the world which allows foreigners to visit and partake in a spot of assisted suicide. Go Switzerland!

I say the media was full of bullshit because most outlets concentrated on the issue of whether or not you should show the “moment of death” on television, for fear of “glamourising death”.

WTF?

I haven’t seen the entire documentary, but I have seen some clips and how could showing a man with an absolutely horrible disease ending his life in any way glamourise death? There were no Hollywood films stars or strippers cheering him on, the room he did it in wasn’t kitted out in fur rugs and leather sofas and they didn’t even have a live band.

There was no glamour at all, but then there was absolutely nothing glamourous about it.

Taking your own life is a serious decision, certainly the most serious decision any individual can take and it was clear this poor man deliberated for a very long time before making this final decision.

The debate should not have been about whether or not they should have shown this on television, but why more countries don’t have systems like they do in Switzerland.

Why is it against the law to provide the ultimate relief and end the suffering of another human being? We do it for dogs and cats and horses – do they matter more than people?

There are some rather horrible maladies and afflictions out there which are horrendous and could cause immeasurable suffering and pain to the person affected.

A slow, protracted death is one of my bigger fears, but that fear is exponentially exacerbated by the fact that I know if I wanted to choose to end the suffering, it would not be possible because of our archaic view of euthanasia.

The people most unsurprisingly opposed to euthanasia tend to be religious nuts who believe only god’s will can decide when your life ends.

What a fucking bunch of fucking bullshit. If that’s true, then anyone with a gun is god, because they can choose to end anyone’s life with relative ease.

I have a real problem taking anyone seriously who is deeply religious to the point of it clouding their every thought and opinion, especially when those misguided views increase the suffering and pain of others.

That’s one of religion’s speciality though, causing others to needlessly suffer.

I’ve recently been in touch with a distant relation of mine, who was in charge of dispensing a small stipend to myself and all my cousins following the passing of a beloved aunt of mine.

When she wrote to me, her letter was peppered with all sorts of religious references. I half expected her closing salutation to be “Yours in Christ” and was relieved that it wasn’t.

I had to really reign myself in when I replied to her, by keeping my secular humanist views at bay, though I couldn’t resist wishing her a “happy holidays” in response to her “merry xmas”. Of course, she wrote out the entire word and capitalised it.

I have nothing against my distant relative, the fact is I don’t really know her, having maybe met her twice before the age of 13, but its the way in which religious people think everyone else should be equally religious, and not just that but we should follow their religion, because the other ones, even variations on Christianity, will send you straight to hell.

There is no hell. Hell is other people.

No, hell is being forced to live with a debilitating and terminal condition, needless suffering a long, drawn out death because the law won’t let one be the architect of one’s own fate.

The law is an ass. Or is that asshole?

The idea of my mind, my personality, the internal bits of my brain continuing to function as they do now, while being trapped in my body, wracked with pain, or worse paralysis is a fate worse than death. Compared to any of that, death would be a trip to Disneyland.

And for all you religious nuts out there, let me ask you this: If heaven is so goddamn great, why can’t we let the sick people arrive a little earlier than expected? Surely a just and loving god would welcome them with open arms.

If there were a god, he wouldn’t make us suffer.

If there were a god, he wouldn’t let us die.

If there were a god, there would be no need for heaven, because heaven would be here on earth and we would all already be angels.

If there were a god, he wouldn’t give a rat’s ass if someone chose to end their life because of an intolerable existence.

If there were a god, I wouldn’t get to post all of this on the internet and he’d have a stern word or two for me.

There is no god.

Why not be your own god? Why not determine your own fate?

They say you make your own luck and I believe that’s true. I believe in self-actualisation and the power of an individual to overcome obstacles and succeed in anything.

If the obstacle you’re encountering is insurmountable, then the only path to success is retreat.

If you’re dying a horrible death, the only way to minimise death’s victory over you is to limit the amount of time you spend dying.

I thought about this a lot when I was ill last summer, especially when I could hardly walk and spent over a week trying to sleep sitting up on my sofa.

I imagined quite vividly that my condition could have been permanent and degenerative, and what I would do in that situation.

I think you can work out the answer.

I read in the last week or so that there are now over 10,000 apps available for the iPhone and that’s only in the last six months since the App Store opened.

Wow!

That’s a lot of applications for the world’s favourite, ultra-clever smart phone.

Some of them are completely pointless and fun, others are very useful and some are just plain cool. I’ve gone a bit app mad and downloaded loads of them, so many that I am going to run out space soon.

That’s ok, because at some point, I know I am going to have to cull my apps and lose the ones I hardly, if ever use. For now, though I’m all about the apps.

I’ve already reviewed some of my favourite apps, CLICK HERE to magically travel back in time to those heady, crazy days, of August 2008.

Since then, I’ve found some even cooler apps to share with you. Some of them are free, some are paid for, but nearly all of them serve a useful purpose and most of them are used by yours truly on a daily basis.

Google Search
This app has been around since day one of the App Store, but the recent update added a feature that will not only impress your mates, but actually works.

The latest version of Google’s search app doesn’t require any buttons, you put the phone to your ear, wait for the tone to cue you and then speak your search and it understands you and displays your results lightening quick!

Like if you say “ show me pictures of naked women”, it fills your screen with very pretty pictures. And if you have the “safe search” option switched off, you’ll get some hands free porn, which if you think about it, could have some applications of its own.

Seriously, its very cool and a quick demo will blow most people away.

Weather Bug
There are a lot of weather apps for your iPhone, but this one is my favourite.
You choose a weather centre nearest to you from a list provided and the app then displays the temperature, wind speed, along with all the usual stuff like humidity and barometer pressure…in real time.

You can watch the wind change direction and speed while the app is running and it also tells you what the wind chill is, a useful tool when choosing what coat to wear. The app also provides forecasts for the next few days, but here’s the other killer feature, it shows you the most recent satellite weather photo for your region.

This app is a must-have if you dig the weather, or like to know how cold it is outside. Trust me, baby its chilly.

TV Plus
This one is really only of use to you if you live in the UK and subscribe to SKY TV and have a SKY+ box. For those of you who don’t know what I mean (my pals in America!), its a combination TiVO and satellite tv receiver and is my digital platform of choice.

If you have a SKY+ and an iPhone, you will really love this one. TV Plus displays the SKY programme guide for the next seven days, with descriptions for each programme, on every channel. If you’ve signed up for a MySKY account, you can enter your details into the app, then, and here’s the killer bit, once you’re set up, you can enter recordings into your SKY+ from anywhere you have a connection via wi-fi, EDGE or 3G.

I’m not sure if I am explaining this well. Say you’re at work and you’ve forgot to put a recording in for some tv show, it doesn’t matter what. You can find the programme on the virtual programme guide on your iPhone and tap the record button and through some magic voodoo jiggery pokery, the recording just appears in your SKY+ planner as if you entered it with the remote from the proximity of your sofa. Amazing.

Set up is slightly complex, but the step-by-step instructions were very clear and easy to follow – I had it up and running in no time. It probably took longer to sign up for the MySKY account (free from SKY.com) than it did to set up the app and my SKY+ box.

Just be aware that the remote recordings work best when you have more than 30 minutes before the programme begins, otherwise there don’t seem to be any limitations. It’s well worth the price!

iTap
I wasn’t that impressed with iTap initially, but since the most recent update, it really shines. Its a simple app that turns your iPhone into a remote track pad for a Mac and just about anything you can do with a mouse, you can do with iTap, including right clicking. iTap now also has a keyboard, for remote text entry.

I have a Mac Mini connected to my tv and I can do most things with my Logitech Harmony Remote, including control Front Row and iTunes, but the one thing I’ve never been able to do is put the Mini to sleep. With the little white Apple remote, no problem, I press and hold the centre button and voila, my Mini is snoring. I can’t seem to come up with a way to replicate that command with the Harmony remote.

With iTap, I don’t have to, I can just start it and in two taps, my Mini is dreaming of electric sheep.

iTap requires a small piece of receiver software to be installed on your Mac, but it was very easy, just drag it into your apps folder, run it, then from the menu bar icon, select “open on start-up” to add it to your log in items. Then just forget about it.

Mocha VNC Lite
iTap is great, if you can see your Mac’s screen, but what if you can’t?

There are many occasions where I need to do something with the Mac Mini, while the tv is in use and I don’t want to switch over to the Mini to do something quick and simple. Instead I use Mocha VNC Lite.

VNC stands for virtual network control and if you’re running Leopard, its built into the operating system and called screen sharing. Because it is built into the operating system, its very easy to enable, just go into the preference pane under sharing, click the screen sharing box and set a password for remote login. Your Mac is now ready to be remotely controlled.

Mocha VNC Lite allows you to connect to your Mac and control it, with the touchscreen acting as a trackpad with the remote Mac’s output displayed on the iPhone’s screen.

With Mocha VNC Lite, I can start and stop downloads, I can run apps, enter text through the integrated keyboard, all from another room, or even in my back garden. I’ve only got it set up to work within my home network, but people who are better at the real tech stuff can probably get it to work over the internet, from anywhere in the world.

Its a freebie, though there is a paid version, which I should buy myself.

iTalk Recorder
Griffin’s iTalk Recorder is another simple, yet well designed and useful app that does what it says on the tin. It records sound, but it does it very well.

You can choose the quality, from good enough to be broadcast on FM radio to very low, but still listen-able and the length of the recording is only limited by your available flash memory.

Transferring your audio to your Mac is a breeze, there is an application that you need to install which wirelessly connects your Mac to your iPhone and you just drag over the files you need.

This app is works so well that I bet I could use it to do voxpops on the street that sounded good enough to be transmitted on the radio. Of course, I’d look like a dick, walking up to people and making them talk into an upside-down iPhone, but you get the idea.

AirCamLiveVideo
This app is extremely cool and I have absolutely no purpose for it, not even a nefarious one.

AirCamLiveVideo turns your iPhone into a wireless remote receiver for the built-in isight camera in your iMac or MacBook and it also works with the old external isights. It should work with other webcams as well, though best to check before downloading the app.

Again, you need to install a small piece of software on your Mac to transmit the images (and now audio too) from your Mac to your iPhone. Start the software on the Mac, run the app on your iPhone and away you go. It self-configures via Bonjour and you can password protect the live stream to keep prying eyes away.

Like I said, I have no practical application for this one, its just very cool and futuristic. I also think its the most expensive app I’ve bought so far. It was a fiver, but now that I’ve reviewed it, bang that’s coming off next year’s taxes as a website expense.

Now – Geo-networking
This is a weird one and I’ve yet to really work out its usefulness.

This app lets you post a tag on a location in real time, and they only remain there for a day or so. You can also search for other people’s tags.

Posting appears simple, you allow the app to know your location, put in your line of copy and hit send. Be careful what you post and where you post it, though.

The reason to be careful is that when you do a search, you can see what all the other people have posted, complete with directions to get there. You don’t want to be sitting at home posting “sex available, no charge”.

Or maybe, you do.

And yes, I have seen labels such as my example above posted on a map of the world. The app is global and should work wherever you are on the planet.

When you do a search, the app hands off some data to the iPhone’s built in map app, and you can watch a collection of red pins descend across the global. Tap a pin to read the attached description text, zoom in and see where they are or switch to the satellite view.

For me, its an easy, fun way to generate addresses for playing with the new “street view” function added in the iPhone’s software update to version 2.2.

The UK hasn’t been blessed with street view just yet, but most of the continental US has and guess where most of the posters on this app are from? Although bizarrely, Google did have some street views available for an Italian suburb and it does look like London will be added soon, which means I’ll be able to virtually stalk myself.

And speaking of stalking, tell me this doesn’t sound fun. Next week, I’m going to be posting “www.northlondonhippy.com” via this app, at various locations throughout London. If you’re really quick, and you can get there in time, you might catch a glimpse of me and my iPhone in action.

If you don’t, at least you’ll know that you are standing in the exact spot where I stood when I posted it. If that doesn’t make the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up, I don’t know what will!

And that my friends and iPhone fans is my latest collection of super-neat-o-cool iPhone apps, but it by no means complete. There are plenty of others I like and probably my absolute favourite is yet to come. Enjoy!

I want to take a moment to say a special thank you…to you…all of you!

November 2008 was a record month here at the northlondonhippy.com, with more visitors than ever stopping by and hanging out with me here in my virtual realm.

Last month saw the number of people coming here increase around 35%, which is the best sustained growth over a month I’ve ever had. Give yourselves a big fat round of applause for that!

I do get the occasional spike, when something I’ve written is picked up by other sites, but in general the number of people visiting remains fairly constant. In November, I noticed steady gains starting on the US election day, when I live blogged my little heart out and the numbers just kept continuing to rise after that.

I don’t know exactly why and to be honest, it doesn’t matter. I just keep doing whatever it is I do here, regardless.

A few vague statistics for you:

40% of visitors in November bookmarked my site

28% of visitors in November subscribe to my site via RSS feed readers

10% of visitors spent 1 hour or more surfing my site

Cool, eh?

My site is about as independent as a site can be. It’s just me, a word processor, an internet connection and a collection of deep personality flaws keeping this place ticking over. My overheads for producing content are very low. So are the financial gains, but I’ve never been interested in doing this for the money. Good thing, really, though I do cover my external costs.

So what can my ever increasing audience expect from me in the future?

I’m working on my xmas gift buying guide and I have a few very cool recommendations for you of products I’ve purchased recently including a pocket-sized hi-def video camera that won’t break the bank and a herbal vaporiser that might, along with a few other seriously cool toys.

I’m planning a day of hippy-online-availability, where for one day, I will be logged into every conceivable instant messenger service and website known to man and available for chatting. I’ll log into Yahoo, MSN, AOL, Facebook, MySpace, GoogleTalk and anyone who wants to communicate with me, can. Think of it as an experiment in connecting with as many people as possible, 21st century-style. I’ll talk to anyone about anything. Watch this space for the announcement.

This March will mark my 5th anniversary as a blogger and I am trying to think of a suitable way to mark the occasion. Oral sex is always in good taste, if any of you hot women out there are feeling generous. Don’t worry, Mrs. H will understand, since it is in the best interests of fostering better relations with my core audience. Plus, she can take the photos.

Beyond that, you’ve still got me and my weird and wonderful stream of consciousness, narcissistic bullshit to share with you on a semi-regular basis. What’s not to love?

I’m the hippy you all adore
because I am a complete media whore!

I’ll always try to make you laugh
and make you think
and make you wish you were a hippy too!

Thanks again for stopping by. This is one place where you will always be welcome!

I’d love to stay and blog all day, but I need to celebrate this occasion in the appropriate fashion and this juicy, skunky spliff ain’t gonna smoke itself. Bye.