The northlondonhippy

With apolo­gies to the Marx Brothers.…

Check out this photo I took of a shop­ping mall Santa Clause:

Santa Clause has a giant rub­ber head!

Did you notice Santa is wear­ing a giant rub­ber head?

Why do you think that is?

When I was a kid, Santa was an old man, with a fake beard, smelling faintly of booze and piss. And when you sat on his lap, it some­times felt like he had a pep­per­oni in is pocket.

Gross.

Today’s mod­ern Santa is noth­ing like that, with his giant rub­ber head, clean cloth­ing and A WOMAN play­ing him!

That’s right, my money is on a per­son of the female per­sua­sion inside that par­tic­u­lar Santa suit.

It makes sense hir­ing a woman, no booze, no piss, no erec­tions and no expen­sive defence lawyers to defend against costly civil law suits.

And if Santa wants to take a break from the air­less rub­ber mask, no prob­lem, she can just switch cos­tumes with the Elf. Every­body wins.

Except your kids, who will for­ever think Santa has a giant rub­ber head. How will he ever fit down the chimney?

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