The northlondonhippy

Archive for February 8th, 2009

I’ve spent the last week hang­ing out on Twit­ter, tweet­ing my lit­tle heart out. If you’re fol­low­ing me, you now know far too much about my empty shell of an existence.

You’re not fol­low­ing me, hardly any­one is. I don’t know what I expected, per­haps some pied-piper-like effect on peo­ple which had me rivalling the top ech­e­lon of Twit­ter­teers after my first tweet. As fuck­ing if!

Twit­ter is a bit like shout­ing in a crowded room full of shouty peo­ple; get­ting anyone’s atten­tion is prac­ti­cally impos­si­ble. Unless you’re famous already, as it seems proper celebri­ties who join Twit­ter enjoy instant popularity.

I’m only an inter­net celebrity, which should mean some­thing on, um, you know, the inter­net, but it doesn’t. So how does one get noticed on Twitter?

I’m tak­ing the long view, much like I did with blog­ging. If you just keep doing what­ever it is you do, peo­ple will find you and wor­ship you like the one true liv­ing god you are.

The other ques­tion is, how much atten­tion do I want to get on Twit­ter? How much atten­tion do I want to get full stop? I already do OK here in my tiny lit­tle cor­ner of the internet.

I’ll let you in on a lit­tle secret, this web­site is actu­ally prof­itable. I bring in more than I spend, though nat­u­rally that doesn’t include my very valu­able time, which you can’t put a price on.

Well, you could really, I get £750 a day, plus expenses, but you get to keep the pho­tos I take of your hus­band shag­ging his sec­re­tary. Oh no, that’s what a pri­vate detec­tive gets!

If I ever won the lot­tery, I would hire a team of pri­vate detec­tives to dig up dirt on my list of ene­mies. Everyone’s got some­thing secret lurk­ing in their lives that they wouldn’t want any­one to know about. I’d like to know.

Sorry, I attended a spe­cial screen­ing of Frost/Nixon last night and I think a bit of Tricky Dicky’s sleaze rubbed off on me. He famously had an ene­mies list and used inves­ti­ga­tors to dig dirt up on peo­ple. Of course, he did it with tax payer’s money, I want to use the lot­tery cash I will never win because rarely buy a ticket.

My week on Twit­ter has been fun. With the ter­ri­ble win­ter weather here in the UK, I’ve been able to keep track of the snow­fall in real time, com­plete with pho­tos and travel updates. I got instant reac­tions to this week’s crackin’ Bat­tlestar Galac­tica episode and I learned that BBC Radio One DJ, Chris Moyles actu­ally seems like a decent guy.

Moyles (@CHRISDJMOYLES) has been a sur­prise on Twit­ter, he tweets loads and comes across as quite a nice fel­low. Who knew?

I posted my own snowy pho­tos and even a pic­ture of 2 of my cute lit­tle kitty cats. Awwwwww! I’ve also posted some jokes and some sur­real shit too, mainly for my own amusement.

I can cer­tainly see the appeal of Twit­ter. Its sim­ple to use and pro­vides a very focussed ser­vice. It is also extremely addic­tive and easy to dip in and out of many times through­out the day.

It may be that the nov­elty wears off for me and I will get bored of tweet­ing my every thought and action, but for now I’m a tweet­ing machine.

So what are you wait­ing for, don’t you wanna fol­low this hippy? I might lead you to where they are hid­ing the good drugs?

Screw that, if I knew where the good drugs were, I would be tak­ing them right now and not wast­ing my time typ­ing up this drivel!