The northlondonhippy

And thus with his six-hundred and eighty-eighth post, did the northlon­don­hippy mark this most aus­pi­cious occasion.

Yep, fuck­ers its true, today is the fifth anniver­sary of me post­ing crap on the internet.

I con­tem­plated an elab­o­rate fire­works dis­play along the Thames tonight, with a one-hundred piece, live orches­tra to pro­vide the back­ing music, but then I thought, naaaaah.

I’ll just write some­thing quick, off the top of my head that marks the day with­out adding any­thing to the greater under­stand­ing of the human condition.

I also con­sid­ered all sorts of other things; con­tests, a cir­cus per­for­mance, a live human sac­ri­fice or even a long, drawn out, over-wrought post which reflected in great detail on the last five years of my life.

Naaaah!

This web­site and what­ever it is I do here exactly, isn’t like that. Never has been, prob­a­bly never will be.

Instead, I like to think of it as a cool place to vir­tu­ally hang out, where you can read some shit what I wrote or just stare at the smi­ley face on my ban­ner. As long as you like being here, I don’t mind what floats your boat.

When I started blog­ging five years ago, I didn’t have a job, a future or a clue about what I was doing…five years later and well, at least I’ve improved on two outta three.

And before you ask, I have a job now and I have a clue about what I’m doing.

Oh, right.

As I estab­lished before, this web­site stopped being a blog a long time ago. I can’t remem­ber the last time I men­tioned what I had for lunch.

Or even ate lunch now that I think of it.

This web­site is my tiny lit­tle cor­ner of the inter­net, where I can do what­ever the fuck I like. The fact that peo­ple come and still read it is a tes­ti­ment not to my tal­ent, but to the over­all bleak and dreary nature of a mod­ern existence.

For a few min­utes, while you’re here, maybe you for­get about your own prob­lems and think about mine for a while instead.

And damn do I have prob­lems! Besides the obvi­ous psy­chi­atric ones.

Remem­ber I’m a manic-depressive sociopath with obsessive-compulsive, nar­cis­sis­tic tendencies.

At least that’s what it says on my doctor’s notes.

I’m a short, fat, bald­ing middle-aged, make-believe hippy and weed-head who you wouldn’t give a sec­ond thought to if you passed me on the streets. I don’t stand out in a crowd.

And that’s OK.

This web­site is where I rant and rave; where I express myself and some­times even con­fess some of my exten­sive col­lec­tion of sins.

This web­site is where I tell the truth as best I can, about what­ever topic I choose; be it weed or world events or even myself.

Espe­cially myself. While self-deception may truly be my favourite form of decep­tion, I don’t try to trick any of you, any more than I try to fool myself.

I’m free to do all of that because of my anony­mous online iden­tity as the northlondonhippy.

There’re only a hand­ful of peo­ple who know that I do this in the real world, prob­a­bly well under a dozen. I don’t mind if they find out my secrets, since I’ve prob­a­bly told them already, anyway.

And it wouldn’t mat­ter if you did know my name, I could type it right now and you would say, “So what?”

You’d be right.

I main­tain my anonymity because I spend a lot of time writ­ing about cannabis and my love of it. Until its legally avail­able, I’m stay­ing anonymous.

One of my aims here is to dis­pel the stu­pid myths sur­round­ing my favourite plant. That’s an area where I do feel like I’ve been some­what suc­cess­ful. Any­one read­ing my cannabis-related mate­r­ial would get a lot of hard, ver­i­fi­able facts, not the lies and deceit shov­elled by the main­stream media here in the UK.

I’ve been extremely hon­est about my nearly 30 years of daily cannabis use. Oh and for the record, most of its been “skunk” and I haven’t killed anyone.

Yet.

I’ve been through a lot in the last five years, but then who hasn’t?

Five years is a rea­son­ably long time to be doing the same thing. Quite frankly I didn’t think my atten­tion span was up to it, but I here I am, still typ­ing away.

For some rea­son, I sud­denly feel I need to men­tion my par­ents, I guess because I lost them both in the last five years; my mother just last xmas and my father in Sep­tem­ber of 2004. I used to write more about them, but I don’t so much now.

I miss them.

I should also men­tion two more peo­ple, start­ing with my younger brother, who is also the designer and web­mas­ter of this site. None of this would be pos­si­ble with­out him and I owe him a great deal of thanks.

And Mrs. Hippy, whose love and sup­port I rely on every day and have done for well over a decade. I don’t know what I would do with­out her, but luck­ily I won’t have to find out.

And then there’s me, weed-head, media-whore, sin­ner & saint. I pro­claim my insignif­i­cance in the uni­verse with a per­verse sense of pride.

I’m a mes­siah for the new mil­len­nium, it says so at the top of this page, so it must be true.

I’m the biggest inter­net celebrity you’ve never heard of.…until now…

So gimme a yippeee, I’m the northlondonhippy!

And what do the next five years have in store for the northlondonhippy?

Fuck me, do I really have to keep doing this for another five years?

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