The northlondonhippy

Archive for April, 2009

With the mas­sive suc­cess of the iPhone app store, app devel­op­ment is on the upswing. I’m see­ing report after report about peo­ple who’ve never writ­ten a line of code in their lives, sud­denly try­ing to learn how to cre­ate apps for the iPhone.

Its sen­si­ble, as the rel­a­tive ease with which you can sell your app com­bined with the poten­tial prof­its make this a very appeal­ing propo­si­tion to many.

Per­son­ally, I haven’t writ­ten any soft­ware in nearly 30 years, when I used to have a very rudi­men­tary under­stand­ing of BASIC. Here’s a sam­ple of what I mean:

10 Print “Fuck You”
20 Goto 10

Yes, that’s about how sophis­ti­cated I got. And wow, did that lit­tle pro­gramme make peo­ple laugh. Things have changed a lot since then.

The prob­lem with devel­op­ing apps for the iPhone is the amount you need to learn to do it. It’s the steep learn­ing curve that is prob­a­bly putting some peo­ple off trying.

What if you didn’t have to learn anything?

What if you could piece an app together the same way you’d design a web­site or automa­tor action?

Enter iApp, the lat­est soft­ware to join the other pro­grams in iLife.

Well, tech­ni­cally it hasn’t yet, but I am tak­ing a wild guess that it will in the future.

iPhone apps are just chunks of code and APIs strung together, so why can’t Apple build an iLife style appli­ca­tion that would allow dum­mies like me to design appli­ca­tions for the iPhone with a sim­ple, clean and easy to use interface.

Just imag­ine assem­bling a list of sim­ple instruc­tions, the same way you would put together an automa­tor script, which are then com­piled and trans­ferred to your iPhone via iTunes.

Apple have already done this for music, video, DVD author­ing, ring-tone cre­at­ing and web­site design, so why can’t they do it for iPhone applications?

The short answer is that they can and if I was to ven­ture a guess, they are prob­a­bly work­ing on just such a prod­uct right now.

Think about it: they could com­pletely democ­ra­tise pro­gram­ming apps for the iPhone, allow­ing any­one with a good idea and some free time the chance to design their very own appli­ca­tion with a very gen­tle learn­ing curve. And if you think your app is good enough and would be of inter­est to oth­ers, you can reg­is­ter to sell it on iTunes and watch the dosh roll in.

Do I think this is com­ing soon? Who knows?

I do think some form of sim­ple iPhone app cre­ation will come. And its going to be a major game-changer when it does.

Happy 420 everyone!

If you’re not famil­iar with 420 (four-twenty), click the above link. Its prac­ti­cally a national hol­i­day in Amer­ica and if we’re lucky, it could very well catch on here in the UK.

Amer­ica is usu­ally sev­eral steps ahead of the UK and the US’s atti­tude to cannabis is a great exam­ple of this fact. Its where the point­less “war on drugs” began and it just might be where it ends too.

Since Obama got hit with a “legalise cannabis ques­tion” from an over­whelm­ing num­ber of peo­ple online, all of Amer­ica is rolling with fren­zied momen­tum towards legal­is­ing this hippy’s favourite plant.

The O-man shouldn’t have been so dis­mis­sive of such a seri­ous and rel­e­vant ques­tion, but he’s a pop­u­lar politi­cian so he can’t be seen to be soft on drugs.

That hasn’t pre­vented Sen­a­tor Ron Paul, who is also a pop­u­lar politi­cian, from call­ing for an end to the war on drugs, but he is a hero and lib­er­tar­ian and not afraid to express an opinion.

Amer­i­can Con­ser­v­a­tive mag­a­zine can see the pace of change regard­ing cannabis laws in Amer­ica. And the con­ser­v­a­tive right seem down with it too.

Even the main­stream press is get­ting in on the act, with Time Mag­a­zine ask­ing and answer­ing, “Why Legal­is­ing Mar­i­juana Makes Sense”.

Not only that, Time Mag­a­zine also asks and answers, “Is Pot Good For You?” Of course it is!

Why the sud­den shift in America?

Two things right now are forc­ing peo­ple to rethink their stance on cannabis in the states, one of which already applies here in the UK.

Its the econ­omy, stupid.

With this whole recession/depression non­sense, can any­one dis­re­gard the effect a legalised cannabis mar­ket would have on a nation’s GDP?

Legal­is­ing weed, in an instant, would cre­ate legit­i­mate jobs that would be taxed, not to men­tion a tax on the actual prod­uct itself. It would raise a lot of money and fast.

Wait, let me revise that. It would bring an already estab­lished and thriv­ing black mar­ket econ­omy into the main­stream. Ka-ching!

Its been said that if weed were legal and 420 were a proper hol­i­day, it would have the same sort of effect on the econ­omy as xmas. Ka-double-ching.

Weed smok­ers would will­ingly be taxed in return for not being crim­i­nalised, so says Salon Mag­a­zine. I sure as hell would be ready to pay tax on my dope, if I didn’t have to worry about being arrested for toking!

The other prob­lem in Amer­ica is one that hasn’t reached Europe yet, but it could in the future and that is gang related violence.

The south­ern bor­der of Amer­ica is where the real drug war is tak­ing place, but not between law enforce­ment and crim­i­nals, but between rival drug gangs. Police on both sides of the bor­der have been inef­fec­tual and pos­si­bly cor­rupt, when they’re not get­ting caught in the cross­fire. The death toll is sadly, quite high and its bad for busi­ness on both sides of the border.

The trou­ble on America’s bor­der is forc­ing peo­ple to realise that the drug mar­ket should be under some sort of gov­ern­ment con­trol and reg­u­la­tion, for with­out that, it leaves crim­i­nal gangs run­ning the show.

Just as the pro­hi­bi­tion of alco­hol in the states in the early part of the last cen­tury cre­ated gang­sters like Al Capone, the pro­hi­bi­tion of drugs cre­ated Pablo Esco­bar and those like him who con­trol the indus­try today.

America’s finally grasp­ing that legal­is­ing cannabis would solve more prob­lems than it could ever cre­ate. By legit­imis­ing an exist­ing indus­try, Amer­ica will reap the rewards finan­cially and it would help cre­ate a new sta­bil­ity along the Rio Grande.

Check out this report from the very respected Cato Insti­tute, which looks at the pos­i­tive effects of the decrim­i­nal­i­sa­tion of all drugs in Por­tu­gal. Its very enlight­en­ing and worth a quick read.

You’ll notice in all of debate and dis­cus­sion in Amer­ica, there hasn’t been any talk of cannabis-induced psy­chosis or schiz­o­phre­nia, nor the demon­i­sa­tion of the stronger strains of cannabis known as “skunk”. That’s because its all spin and bull­shit cre­ated here in the UK to allow our politi­cians to use weed as a polit­i­cal foot­ball that scores easy own-goals with the ill-informed electorate.

In the states, stronger weed is prized and cel­e­brated for being par­tic­u­larly “med­i­c­i­nal” and is seen to be more ben­e­fi­cial, not less. There are no “cannabis hys­te­ria mums” and no men­tion of unproven links to men­tal ill­ness. Remem­ber, a for­mer Sur­geon Gen­eral in Amer­ica (C. Everett Coop if mem­ory serves), called mar­i­juana “the most ther­a­peu­ti­cally ben­e­fi­cial sub­stance known to man”.

Con­fu­sion con­tin­ues to reign where cannabis pol­icy is con­cerned here in the UK, with ran­dom, point­less changes in clas­si­fi­ca­tion and penal­ties every cou­ple of years whether we need them or not.

Even the government’s own drug coun­selling ser­vice, Ask Frank, is telling younger callers that “cannabis is safer than alco­hol.” Its com­pletely true and in line with what the experts say, but its incon­sis­tent with the government’s own stated pol­icy, which of course, ignores the advice of the afore­men­tioned experts they employ.

There are already whis­pers in White­hall, many politi­cians here can see the scrawl on the wall, but are won­der­ing how to right all of the wrongs of the last few years. The gov­ern­ment has used the media to paint a totally false pic­ture of the dan­gers of cannabis, so how do they turn it back around?

Sim­ple, just let the lies qui­etly fade away and replace them with the promise of cold hard cash.

Is it going to take open gang war­fare on the streets of Britain for our lead­ers to deal with cannabis respon­si­bly? I hope to god it doesn’t come to that, but I don’t see any other way for them wake up and start deal­ing with reality.

The Guardian pub­lished a great report last week, which states that end­ing the pro­hi­bi­tion on drugs would save the UK around £14 bil­lion pounds. That’s an amount that can’t be ignored, espe­cially in these dif­fi­cult eco­nomic times. Law enforce­ment, the penal sys­tem could all be over­hauled and the resources could be redi­rected to actual crimes with vic­tims and everything…!

They’re search­ing for the green shoots of recov­ery, per­haps cannabis is lit­er­ally the cash crop green­ery we’ve all been seeking.

And maybe one day, we’ll all be able to openly com­mem­o­rate 420 in the man­ner appro­pri­ate to the event. And that’s exactly what this hippy is going to do right now, as I spark up a juicy, skunky spliff.

Were you look­ing for the northlondonhippy?

You’re in the right place.

Dig it, we’ve had a lit­tle redesign around here.

Wel­come to my brand new site!

I’m still the same ol’ hippy you’ve learned love and maybe lust after just a lit­tle bit, only now I’ve got a brand new wrapper.

Its still the same hip, amus­ing and thought pro­vok­ing (or mind-numbing) con­tent, only in new and improved packaging.

Tell me you don’t love it…

What’s not to love?

Look to your right, there’s my lat­est tweets from Twit­ter. At a glance you’ll know where I am, what I’m up to and what I had for lunch.

Look just below there, under­neath the Twit­ter action and you’ll see what I’ve been lis­ten­ing to recently via Last FM. Don’t you wish I was your per­sonal DJ?

And under­neath Last FM, you’ve got a list of recent posts, my RSS feed, my posts by cat­e­gory and my newly restored archives. Check out some vin­tage hippy!

I think my crack team of web design­ers really out­did them­selves this time and as a reward, they will get an extra 15 min­utes of exer­cise in the gar­den, before I lock them back in my cel­lar, where they sur­vive on rats they catch and water from a leaky pipe.

You’ve got to treat your employ­ees like you treat your slaves, at least that’s what all my bosses taught me.

Everything’s just so shiny and clean. I’m afraid to touch any­thing for fear of fuck­ing it up.

I hope every­one out there in inter­net­land digs it as much as I do. We’ve still got a few minor tweaks, but for the most part, this is it.

Enjoy!

The mem­bers of the northlon­don­hippy col­lec­tive have decided to finally dis­close the truth about this web­site and the inter­net char­ac­ter we’ve cre­ated, called “the northlondonhippy”.

About 5 and a half years ago, a group of writ­ers and artists decided to band together to cre­ate a fic­ti­tious blog­ger that would be both con­vinc­ing yet weird.

Our exper­i­ment in online fak­ery has been very suc­cess­ful as no one ever doubted “the northlon­don­hippy” wasn’t real. We think its down to the mix of humour, drama and pathos that we’ve used to con­struct “the northlon­don­hippy”, but we’re not really sure.

Who belongs to the northlon­don­hippy collective?

We are group of 30-something media types who thought it would be amus­ing to cre­ate a fic­tional online loser and make-believe hippy, mainly to for our own entertainment.

We never expected to keep it up for so many years, though if you look at the fre­quency of posts to this site, we haven’t really worked very hard.

We all share respon­si­bil­i­ties for work­ing on the web­site, as well as “the northlondonhippy’s” other online activ­i­ties, such as “his” Twit­ter pres­ence and “his” videos for YouTube. We all take turns answer­ing “his” fan emails too.

One of us runs the actual web­site side of things, the rest of our group write the con­tent that keep the nar­ra­tive of “the northlon­don­hippy” alive.

While “the northlon­don­hippy” is a cre­ation, there are aspects of him that we’ve bor­rowed from our own per­son­al­i­ties. For exam­ple, I’m sure it won’t sur­prise any­one to find out that we’re all pro­lific cannabis smokers.

A few of us are jour­nal­ists, a few work in tv pro­duc­tion, sev­eral work for internet-based media firms, one is inde­pen­dently wealthy and yet another is cur­rently between jobs. And one of us is a minor celebrity and yes, you would prob­a­bly recog­nise his name. We are an eclec­tic col­lec­tion of smug, clever and edu­cated men (and one woman) who have built up a rather loyal fol­low­ing online as “the northlondonhippy”.

When we came up with the idea of a northlon­don­hippy branded RooR bong, we never thought any­one would be that inter­ested, but it turns out it has sold out­ra­geously well. So well that we’ve had to set up a lim­ited com­pany (the northlon­don­hippy col­lec­tive ltd) to deal with the prof­its from the licens­ing and sales, plus VAT and now cor­po­rate tax.

Now that you are think­ing about it, you’re start­ing to remem­ber all the tiny lit­tle clues you’ve missed that were unin­ten­tion­ally left in the hippy’s writing.

If you go back and re-read a bit, you’ll soon spot that the entries were writ­ten by more than one per­son. Once you know the truth, its bla­tantly obvi­ous that this has all been an elab­o­rate hoax. No one could really be as can­tan­ker­ous, sad and twisted as “the northlon­don­hippy”, yet still man­age func­tion in nor­mal society.

The way the char­ac­ter is drawn, we thought it would be obvi­ous to any semi-intelligent reader that “the northlon­don­hippy” is a com­pletely fic­tional con­struct; an imag­i­nary being.

I guess ulti­mately the joke is on us because we’ve had to do this for so long, but now it has grown labo­ri­ous and tire­some. We hoped some­one would dis­cover and reveal the truth, but that hasn’t hap­pened, so we decided to do the “big reveal” ourselves.

We’re still work­ing on what to do next with “the northlon­don­hippy” brand. Now that we’ve built and estab­lished it, it would be a shame to just let it go.

We’re think­ing either northlon­don­hippy tee-shirts or a northlon­don­hippy theme park for hedo­nis­tic adults in the Nether­lands. Its still too early to say.

Thank you every­one for your sup­port and we hope you’re not too mad at us now that we’ve finally let you in on our lit­tle joke.

With thanks for 5 fun years,
– the northlon­don­hippy col­lec­tive (ltd)