September 7th, 2009 | 
Author: So Mrs. Hippy turns to me last night and says, “Don’t you post on your blog any more?”
She was surfing the internet on her iPod Touch, which she does quite a bit, preferring it to using our iMac.
“Of course I do”, I said slightly defensively, trying to remember when I last posted something here. I had to check.
It was three weeks ago. That’s long, even by my somewhat lax standards. So what have I been up to in that time?
I was kind of hoping you could tell me.
I haven’t been working that much. I haven’t been doing much of anything, if you must know. I think I am perfecting the art of being and nothingness. I’m not even sure if I exist any more or even ever existed in the first place.
I might not even be fictional. I could just be imaginary, living only in your mind.
You’re staring at a blank screen right now, only your mind thinks you are seeing words written by some weird make-believe, north London-based hippy. How’s your imaginary grammar?
See, this is what happens when you start the day with a strong coffee and a skunky spliff peppered with bubble-hash. Everyone should start their day this way.
I spend inordinate amounts of time simply lost in thought. I disappear into my own little Utopia, where I right the world’s wrongs and allow my creativity to flow freely.
I used to do all that in the real world, but at some point, I stopped.
Oh I’ve worked out when it stopped and why. It was when I first got sick with my stupid Hashimoto’s Disease a couple of years ago. I didn’t realise it at the time, it probably took another year before I twigged that something was actually physically wrong with me, but in retrospect, it all fits.
Between 2004 and 2007, I wrote 2 novels and was reasonably prolific here on my website too. Towards the end of that period, the 2nd book fizzled out while I was writing it and remains one chapter shy of being complete. The first book was published, but I didn’t do enough to promote it and it languishes on virtual shelves, unread.
The first book was nearly commissioned as a TV series too, but the media is a fickle and fucked up mistress. The guy who liked it and could have commissioned it with a flick of his pen, moved on; his replacements were far less enthusiastic and the possibility of producing the series faded away.
Rather than continue to plug away trying to do something with it, I let it go too. At the time, I just thought I had lost my enthusiasm for the project, but in truth, it was probably my ill health that robbed me of my fire.
I haven’t done much of anything since.
Of course, that’s not strictly true as I still work (mostly) full time and I do post the odd piece here, but my output is not even close to the levels I reached a few years ago.
I’m still being treated for the Hashimoto’s Disease and my doctor is still adjusting my medication levels. If they ever get it right, I should feel better and be back to my old self. That’s what they tell me, anyway.
In the mean time, I’ll continue to distract myself with my vivid imagination and soft drugs.
Now, aren’t you glad Mrs. Hippy asked if I still post here? Blame her for the 5 minutes of your life I just wasted, not me.
