The northlondonhippy

Archive for January, 2010

I bet having a recipe as my top post confused a lot of my new visitors and that was the case until I posted this particularly unplanned foray into sharing my thoughts.

This is not a food blog. A recipe is something out of the ordinary. Normal service has now resumed.

As I sit here, typing away, we are around 9 hours from the expected Apple Tablet announcement. Its pretty big news so I expect you’ve already heard all about it. Don’t worry, I’m not going to go on about it too much.

I’ve got 2 predictions, one is an easy one that’s probably true, the other is a long shot.

Prediction one: It will be a premium product with a premium price for early adopters. Yes, I mean it will be very expensive, but will be cheaper in a year.

Prediction two: It will be called ‘iBook”, which used to be the name of one of their best selling laptops. They already own it, so it would be an easy yet inventive choice. I am far less certain of this one and will be pleasantly surprised if I am right. I’ll also brag a lot about it too.

I’ve wanted something like what’s expected today for years. Yes, I will buy one as soon as they are available though I am guessing it will be like the original iPhone, sold is the USA exclusively for 6 months, then launched in the UK. That will be frustrating!

Today isn’t just tablet day. Had my mother still been alive, today would have been her 80th birthday, but she missed it by around 13 months. I miss her, a lot.

At least Apple were nice enough to schedule their announcement on the same date as my mother’s birthday, its a welcome distraction.

So roll on 18:00gmt, when the big show starts in California. I’ll be online, following the announcement live as best I can and I’ll be tweeting my impressions as well. That is, assuming the entire internet doesn’t come crashing down to a screeching halt under the weight of all that Apple Tablet hype.

Oh yes, that’s my last prediction, Twitter is going to crash like Oceanic Air 815 as soon as Steve Jobs takes the stage. Maybe I should just plan on tweeting again tomorrow.

First of all, to avoid any confusion, there is no such thing as a “hippy crab”. If you go to your local fishmonger demanding one, he will look at you like you are crazy.

You’re not crazy, are you?

I don’t normally post recipes, but in the real world, I’m actually a pretty damn good cook. I’ve been cooking for decades, having honed my skills by watching TV chefs over the years and mixing and matching the techniques I’ve picked up along with combining interesting ingredients. Its like art with food, only hand-eye coordination doesn’t play as big a part.

I’ve seen crab risotto on restaurant menus, but I’ve never tried it. That doesn’t mean I can’t make a good one. And if I have nothing to compare it to, then it must be perfect already.

What follows is my made-up recipe for crab risotto, with helpful hints along the way. I have cooked risotto many times in the past, so I am not a total beginner.

You’ll need:
- one medium yellow onion, chopped
- 2 fresh cloves of garlic, chopped
- butter and olive oil
- 500g Arborio Rice (its meant for risotto)
- 1.5 litres of stock (chicken or vegetable)
- 20cl white wine (appx one glass)

For finishing:
- 100g white crab meat (sometimes called lump meat, its already cooked)
- 10g chopped chives
- 10g chopped tarragon
- juice of one fresh lemon
- cream or creme fraiche
- 50g freshly grated parmesan cheese
- 50g frozen peas
- 10cl sherry (not cooking sherry, the real stuff)

Here’s a photo of the main ingredients:

Hippy Crab Risotto Ingredients

(Missing: Yellow onion, frozen peas, sherry, butter, olive oil)

You need a large sauce pan (or pot if you prefer) and you will only need the lid at the very end, so put it to one side.

Put the saucepan on the hob over a low heat and let it warm up a bit. Cover the bottom of the pot with a bit of olive oil and a bit of butter, basically enough so when you add the onion and garlic, its covered and coated with it. You don’t need to use extra virgin olive oil, cheaper oil is fine. Extra virgin is cold pressed, so its a bit pointless to use when you are going to heat it up. Save it to dress your salad!

Sweat the onions and garlic until they are soft, tender and a bit translucent.

sweating the onions and garlic

While the onions and garlic are cooking, mix up your 1.5 litres of stock. I use Swiss Bouillon Vegetable Stock, but you can use anything one that you like. You can do this in a second saucepan, but my method is to mix 500mls at a time in a pyrex measuring jug and an electric kettle.

Swiss Bouillon

You can’t just use any rice for risotto, Arborio is the best. The reason is the high starch content, which is what makes it thicken.

Gallo Organic Arborio Rice

Once the onions and garlic are soft, turn the heat up high and add the 500g of Arborio Rice to the pot, stirring continuously, so it doesn’t burn, for around 2 minutes. You want the rice to be infused with the flavours and oil.

frying the rice for 2 minutes

After 2 minutes, lower the heat and then can begin to add your hot stock. The normal advice is to ladle it in gradually from a second pot, and as the rice absorbs it, add a bit more, but I don’t do it that way. Instead I add the stock a 1/3 at a time, in 500ml increments. The heat should be on lower, so the stock simmers.

stock added to rice

Whether you add the stock in a little at a time, or in stages, its important you keep on stirring. Also add the 20cl of white wine. From here, it will take about 20 minutes for the rice to cook and for the texture to become creamy and sauce-like.

Once the rice is cooked, give it a little taste to see if it has the correct consistency. If it is still too firm, cook it longer, but the rice should not become too mushy either. Al dente is what I am looking for, it should have a little bite, but not be too hard or soft. You’ll know it when you taste it. That’s the basis for all risotto recipes, from here you can mix in what you like.

Now, time to add the additional ingredients to finish the dish. Add the crab meat and stir it in, followed by the lemon juice. The fresh white crab meat is the one luxury ingredient and I’ve used Cornish because I know it is sweet and very tasty. You could easily used tinned, or a mix of brown and white meat.

Fresh white crab meat

Once its all mixed through, add the frozen peas, they will quickly defrost and heat up. Then add the juice of one fresh lemon and the sherry and mix them in.

Time for the fresh herbs, toss the tarragon and chives into the pot and stir them in too. You can chop the tarragon with a sharp knife, but its recommended you use a pair of kitchen scissors to cut the chives.

Fresh herbs

Finally, add a large spoonful of the creme fraiche and a the grated parmesan cheese and stir some more. Put the lid on the pot, switch off the heat and let it sit for a few minutes, so everything is at a nice even temperature. Give it a final taste, to check the seasoning. I’d add freshly ground black pepper at this stage, and salt only if I thought it really needed it. With the cheese, crab and stock, the salt will probably be OK, I don’t use much salt when I cook, so its up to you.

The dish is now finished and ready to serve, you can hold back some chives and grated cheese to garnish the top once its on the plate.

The finished risotto, ready to be served

Serve it with a fresh green salad and warm crusty bread. Yummm.

Hippy Crab Risotto is served!

And that my friends and hippyfans is Hippy Crab Risotto. If you cook it up yourself, email me and let me know how you make out! Enjoy!

Yesterday, legislators in the US state of California took the first real step towards a fully legalised, regulated and taxed cannabis market. Earlier this week, the US state of New Jersey legalised cannabis for medical use.

All over America, attitudes and laws are changing and changing fast.

What are we doing wrong here in the United Kingdom?

Lots, by the look of it. How is it possible that we are falling behind America on this very important issue?

A few years ago, the situation was reversed. The attitude here to weed was relaxing, Tony Blair and David Blunkett downgraded cannabis to Class C, making possession a very minor offence. In America, so much as a seed or a used hash pipe was enough in most states to get you a lengthy, mandatory prison sentence.

Cannabis didn’t remain Class C for long, as Gordon Brown asked the ACMD to review its status. The ACMD did just that, twice and recommended that it remain in Class C. That was unacceptable to our very desperate and weak, make-believe Prime Minister and he pushed ahead with restoring cannabis to to Class B. Class B increased penalties for possession, but had no effect on production or distribution, the penalties are the same for either classification. Gordon wanted to send a “strong message” that cannabis was a “dangerous, deadly drug”.

Now, you can ask any teenager if cannabis is lethal and once they stop laughing, they will set you straight. Cannabis is in no way lethal, but our current government and ruling party don’t have a problem lying to the general public about anything. These are the same shitbags that invaded Iraq on the basis of utter fabrication, so a little white lie about weed won’t cause any issues with their consciences.

Well, I can tell you right now, its causing major issues with mine!

America is moving apace to legalise weed. This is a huge shift in attitude and approach from their previous policy of “just say no” and the war on drugs. Its seismic!

America is the most litigious country in the world, if there were any risks to cannabis, someone would be getting sued for damages, whether its the government for allowing it or the people who provide it. America has accepted that cannabis is not a bad thing, but a beneficial product that can help millions medically.

C. Everett Koop, former Surgeon General of the United States declared that cannabis was the “most therapeutically beneficial substance known to man” years ago, but it is only now that America is accepting his assessment. At least they got there in the end.

We are still so far away from taking a common sense approach that I’m not sure what to do. Gordon Brown, in his ignorance and desire to appear strong on drugs, has set the cause back at least a decade. Its time we regain some of our lost ground.

Its not just America, many countries have relaxed their drug policies to reflect common sense, the most recent being the Czech Republic. How could the UK be lagging behind them?

We’re lagging behind almost everyone.

I want to change that. I am going to change that.

I just don’t know how yet.

Every journey starts with a first step and this is mine. My goal for 2010 is to combat the ignorance and stupidity that is UK drug policy. Its time for all decent, upstanding, otherwise law abiding residents of this fine country to stand up and demand that they are not criminalised for enjoying a smoke.

We can fight the lies, we can fight the ignorance. We can fight, fight fight until we get what we want, which is a legalised, regulated and taxed cannabis market. The time is now!

A year from now, we will be closer to our goal.You have my word on it.

Martin Luther King, the famous and revered American civil rights activist once said, “…there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that, “an unjust law is no law at all.””

Happy New Year fuckers!

I hope you’ve all bought new calendars and you aren’t still writing 2009 on your cheques.

Do people still write cheques?

I do, sometimes, but that really doesn’t have anything to do with anything, so I’ll swiftly avoid the diversion in that dead end direction.

Instead, I’ve come to share the latest news from the land of your favourite north London-based hippy. Its actually kind of big news.

Dig this, I submitted “the official northlondonhippy iPhone app” to Apple yesterday, it should be available on the iTunes store very soon for your mobile surfing pleasure.

This isn’t one of my little funny wind-ups, its an honest to god, actual app that runs natively on the iPhone and iPod Touch.

How cool is that?

On the hippy’s cool-o-meter, its off the fucking scale of coolness into a brand new realm of cool that has yet to be discovered by normal folk. Once the app is available, that new realm of cool will be yours for the taking.

The app delivers in an iPhone friendly format, all of my internet content. If I publish something, it will magically pop up on the app. You will receive my latest posts from this website, as well as having easy access to my busy Twitter feed. I’ve also included my TwitPics and YouTube videos, which are all easily accessible inside the app.

How much would you pay for a northlondonhippy iPhone app?

Really? I kind of expected that, which is why it will be available to download for FREE. That’s a price I’m sure you can afford.

My aim is to make this app the number one northlondonhippy iPhone app in the world. I don’t think it will be very hard to do, as it will be the only northlondonhippy app available, at least officially. I’m sure all the other kids will be creating their own versions to compete with mine.

Ah-hem.

I don’t want any of you to think I went off and learned how to write code for an iPhone, because I didn’t. I used a website called www.appmakr.com which automated the process to such a degree that even a moron like me could do it. If you need an app made for the iPhone from RSS feeds, you could do a lot worse than try this site out.

I will of course, reserve final judgement on AppMakr until I see my finished app on my own iPhone, but so far I am very happy with the service they provide. You will be too once you are rocking my app on your muthafuckin’ iPhone.

Keep watching for my announcement confirming that my app is live on iTunes. Until then, you can join me on some tenterhooks as I try to patiently wait for Apple’s approval process people to whatever voodoo that they do.

While I am quite pleased about my app, I am less excited about my birthday this month. Is there a law that says you have to have birthdays? Can we get it repealed?

Some years I am not too bothered about being another year older, but this year is not one of them.

I suppose a lot has to do with the awkwardness of my impending age…forty-fucking-seven. Its an odd number in more ways then one. Mainly, it marks my decent into my “late forties”.

I don’t like the word “late”, it makes me think of death. I think about death enough already, I don’t need stupid words tacked on to my age to remind me that the mortal coil is getting distinctly shorter every year.

My bones tell me, my muscles tell me, my world weary expression tells me, all pretty much on a daily basis. I am plumbing the depths of middle age.

I’ve been contemplating having my very own mid-life crisis, but I can’t seem to settle on what form it will take. On the menu are:

- a grown-up gap year to trek through the Andes
- a hair transplant
- 3 months of Swiss shin stretching
- a small, red, convertible sports car
- a sexually experienced 19 year old girl on the side
- a mental breakdown

I reckon to make it a proper mid-life crisis, I need to chose at least 3 things off that list, then pursue them with gusto.

Trekking anywhere is out, because it sounds too much like hard work.

A hair transplant just sounds messy and expensive and for what? To look like Elton John? No thanks.

If I was going to have my shins stretched, I should have done it 20-30 years ago, but it didn’t exist back then. I don’t think I am going to live long enough to make the pain & suffering worth it. You only gain a couple of inches in height anyway, so screw it, I’d still be short.

The little red convertible sports car is cliche and I don’t really like red as a colour for a car. Unfortunately, because of my age, red is the only colour a car dealer will sell me, at least for a 2 door ragtop. I’ve checked, its a car dealer bylaw, right their in their charter.

Does it all make sense now? That’s why you only ever see bald, fat middle-aged guys in red Ferraris (or Corvettes if you are stateside). And all this time, you thought they were choosing the colour. Now you know, its the law.

The nineteen year old girl seems on the surface to be an easy option and if I was a member of the Rolling Stones they would be queuing up at my door, but I’m not, so they’re not. Besides, 19 year olds haven’t lived enough to be interesting, so unless I can cram a 50 year old’s brain into their 19 year old body, I don’t see much point. And if I am honest, the only way I am going to get a hot little 19 year old is to rent one for an hour. I certainly couldn’t afford the care and feeding of one full time and I am a hippy on a budget, so this is out too.

A mental breakdown? Don’t I mainly have them on the internet or as it is otherwise known, a running blog.

This website is my therapy, which I guess makes all of you my shrinks. Every time I ask a question, you just have to say “well, what do you think?” Go on, its easy and I just saved you seven tedious years of university and medical training.

Email me for your certificate or degree from the University of North London (hippy). That and a pound will get you a ride on a bus.