Remember the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld?
“No soup for you!”, he would exclaim when he determined someone was unworthy of his tasty broth.
Ever wonder what happened to the Soup Nazi since the TV show went off the air?
He works for Apple, rejecting iPhone app submissions. “No app for you!”, he exclaimed as he considered an app from your favourite independent blogger and internet god.
I mean me.
I don’t get to have my very own iPhone app, the App Nazi says so.
Apple’s recent policy change banning independent bloggers from submitting apps to for publication on iTunes is still pissing me off.
And here’s the thing, it would still piss me off even if I wasn’t directly effected by their decision. Its wrong to silence any voice, however big or small. We all have a right to express ourselves, on any platform we choose, on any subject we choose.
I chose to put an app together to bring my content to the iPhone platform. Apple, as the provider of the platform, have locked me out.
I should have tried to publish a fart app. Apparently, you can’t have too many of them.
It could be argued that my content is already available on the iPhone platform, via Safari, the iPhone’s browser. You’d win that argument, its true.
All my app did was present this website, along with some other entertaining content provided and owned by me in a very iPhone friendly format, via a custom designed app. One tap on the northlondonhippy icon on your Home Screen and you’d be here, hanging out virtually with me. No bookmarks or URLs, just a clean, easy to read interface, with groovy NLH graphics.
It would have cost Apple pennies to host my free app. Its not like they’re strapped for cash, they’ve got billions just lying around, doing nothing.
They could shut me up with a couple of million. Or a free iPad.
But they don’t need to shut me up. Nobody seems to give a shit. I emailed a few tech websites and newspapers with my sad tale of Apple app woe. Nobody bit.
Links to my previous entry did get tweeted around Twitter and buzzed across Google Buzz, or whatever the kids are doing these days but I am still waiting for a groundswell of popular support which would push Apple to reconsider this very foolish, pointless and spiteful decision.
Apple began in Steve Wozniak’s garage, with Woz and Steve Jobs knocking together the first Apple computer. Blogging is not much different than that, we’re all out here just knocking stuff together. Some make it into the mainstream, some toil in relative obscurity, but most just seem to give up. Many blogs lie dormant after a brief, unsatisfying flurry of activity, but not this one.
I know I’m not the most prolific blogger, but I’m still here and have been for 6 fun filled years. Ok, they haven’t been that much fun, but I am still here.
I’ve been toying with the idea of hanging up my hippy hat. This isn’t meant to be a threat or some drama queen strop. I’ve considered giving up before, but I’ve always managed to find reasons to keep going and ended up reinvigorated at the end of it.
Right now, I just feel tired.
The iPhone app was meant to re-inspire me and it would have, if only briefly. But isn’t that the way this works? You are constantly searching for new inspiration to keep you going.
The weird thing is, for a niche blog that doesn’t get updated very often, I do some good business. When I look at a graph of my visitor levels, its always an upward incline. I make a bit of dosh too, with my limited advertising and solo affiliate scheme.
I’ve recently been speculating that would still be the case, even if I didn’t post anything new. There’s a lot of content on my website, six years of spewing drivel will do that. I could probably just let this website sit here, do nothing and still maintain my reach.
Yes, I’ve been giving serious thought to giving up and quite stupidly, mainly because Apple refused to publish my app. Maybe there is no place for independent bloggers in the world any more and Apple is just ahead of the curve. If your website doesn’t have a staff of 30, then no one takes it seriously and you might as well not exist.
What’s a self obsessed weedhead and middle-aged failure at life to do?
If I knew the answer to that one, fuckers, I wouldn’t be sitting here typing out this shit, would I?
