Archive for the ‘cannabis’ Category
February 14th, 2009 | 
Author: Hello. Welcome back. Did ya miss me?
Its ramble time. Woke up too early following too little sleep. Must focus.
On what?
Its a pleasant, relaxing day off, or rather it should be, but I’ve got heaps to do ‘round the house and I might even wander up to my local high street.
Do they call it a “high street” because you have to get high before you go there? No? Well, tough, because I will be high when I go.
It should be a rule that you have to be high before allowed onto your local high street. It would make the entire shopping experience more pleasant for everyone involved. The shop assistants would think all the customers were mellow and pleasant, the shop assistants would be helpful without being overbearing and I wouldn’t nearly get into fist fights with all the rude, surly people knocking into me and blocking my way.
Oh wouldn’t it be grand?
As soon as they start opening cannabis cafes around the country, this is the sort of relaxed Utopia we can expect. Until then it will continue to be no fun.
Did you see a group of former presidents from Latin America are urging the world to adopt a controlled and regulated cannabis market? Did you look here?
Even the UN is working towards this fairly obvious and sensible conclusion. In the good ol’ US of A, they are moving in this direction. President Saviour Obama has even said that federal raids against medical marijuana establishments must end and the federal government needs to start respecting laws passed by individual states.
Many states in America have already decriminalised weed. That means it is considered the lowest possible policing priority, with penalties for possession being the equivalent of a minor traffic or parking offence.
Why can’t we do that here?
We could and we were going to until Gordon Brown and Jacqui Smith started mucking around with things. These two nincompoops believe laws should be used to “send a message” to people, rather than reflect the scientific evidence or the truth.
This week the Advisory Council for the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD). the body that advises the government on drug policy stated that ecstasy (E, pills, MDMA), be re-classified from its current A grade, back into Class B, to reflect its relative harm to the user. Sounds sensible enough as E is not in the same league as coke and smack.
The head of the ACMD, Professor. David Nutt went on to say that taking ecstasy is no worse than horseback riding and an equivalent number of people die from both activities annually. You would have thought that he said Jesus was secretly Satan for the drubbing he took over the comments. He was even forced to apologise and his future on the ACMD has been questioned.
Just for telling the truth!
In America, MDMA has been used by mental health professionals to assist in the therapy process. Would medical doctors prescribe something potentially lethal when their first rule is to “do no harm”? What do they know that we don’t know.
Nothing! The difference is our government uses legislation to “send a message” rather than to treat people with respect. Legislating morality never works, because people have their own moral compasses and that counts for something.
The simple fact is that anyone who’s ever smoked a joint or necked an E knows that what the government is saying is bullshit. What do you reckon that does to the government’s credibility?
It knocks it into the toilet. When a government lies about anything, we all suffer.
Drug taking is a health issue, not a moral or legal issue and trying to force it only does a disservice to everyone. If I choose to ingest MDMA, or cannabis or chocolate or even broken glass, its my body and my choice.
Criminalising millions of people serves no one. If you’re having trouble with drugs, you should be able to seek help without worrying about ending up with a criminal record. And if you are enjoying them responsibly, it should be nobody’s business but your own.
Common sense and compassion will eventually rule the day, but for now we’ll have to just keep watching our leaders screw things up more and more. Its frustrating, annoying and unavoidable, for as long as politicians can use the debate over drugs to score points with Middle England, the senseless persecution of people who enjoy something other than booze will continue.
Gee, that wasn’t as nearly as rambling as I expected it to be. Lucky you, or maybe even lucky me.
Our stupid government went ahead and reclassified weed today, against the advice of the scientists, medical experts and drug advisors. Cannabis has been returned to Class B, which means penalties for simple possession have increased, but penalties for dealing and production remain the same, sort of…
While not in place yet, a 3-strike system is to be implemented later in the week. On your first offence, you will be given a warning, on your second, you will be fined 80 quid and on your third, you will be charged. Naturally, this new penalty system is not in place today and won’t be until at least midweek. The government couldn’t even co-ordinate the change in classification and the new penalties so they started on the same day and they’ve had over a year to plan it. Losers!
So why did they change the classification?
I don’t know, there isn’t a single good reason for the change. Laws regarding cannabis are even more muddled and confusing now than they ever were!
The advice from the various government advisory boards was to leave it in Class C, but if they did that, they couldn’t score any political points with our poorly informed electorate.
Check out this BBC report for more details.
No one in the UK government is interested in the truth, or doing the right thing where cannabis is concerned. I am so disappointed and depressed by this stupid outcome, words cannot begin to express my distress.
I found this list of Cannabis Myths from a drug organisation in the US state of Indiana. Even they know more about weed than Gordon Brown and his idiotic cabinet. Please read it so you can be armed with the truth being denied us by the media and the government here.
Gordon Brown may still not be long for politics as the current economic depression (someone has to say it) may sink his career yet. If it does, it will be the one good thing to come from an otherwise bleak financial outlook. Here’s hoping!
Seven days into the brand spankin’ new year and I am already filled with optimism and hope. And by optimism and hope, I really mean depression and despair.
All my tv wants to show me is that nasty shit going on in the mideast. Why do they keep making sequels to that movie? I’ve seen it all before. That said, there’s something more upsetting about it this time. Its wholesale slaughter at an industrial scale and it sickens me.
I just wish I could change the channel but I really wanna see how it all turns out. Maybe someone could tip me off just before Rambo arrives and illustrates the pointlessness rather than glory of warfare. And by Rambo, of course I mean Gandhi.
I’m bored to the point of disgust at seeing children murdered and maimed. I can’t be the only one who has seen more than enough of this shit. Why don’t they all just stop?
Closer to home, or rather right here at home, north London has been submerged in sub-zero temperatures for what seems like a few weeks now, with each successive night providing another record-breaking low. Brrrrrrrrrrrr!
The thermometer in my car hit a rather chilly -2 yesterday, which was an all time record low for me and it hasn’t gone above +1 in over a week.
We’re not used to this sort of cold here in London and its bringing everyone down, especially with no respite in sight. All we need is some snow to complete this wintery hell and trust me, I’m not wishing for it.
And the economy is so far into the toilet it can taste the salt in the ocean.
Weed is going be returned to Class B from its present position in the more appropriate and recommended by gov’t advisors, Class C. That really sucks.
Things are indeed looking distinctly bleak as 2009 begins.
Even Apple let me down yesterday, with a MacWorld keynote devoid of any new toys for me to purchase. My credit card was revved up and ready, but it had nowhere to go.
Remember, if it weren’t for cool consumer electronics and soft drugs, I would have no joy in my life.
And its my birthday in a couple weeks, I could really do without that.
Oh moan, moan, moan, moan, moan!
I think they located some of this hippy ancestor’s in China.
Go on, clicky the linky good! You know you wanna!
(The northlondonhippy apologises for any perceived racist humour in the above post. You can’t be too careful these days.)
Why isn’t THIS WOMAN in charge of UK drug policy?
I’m talking about Lady Amanda Neidpath, the head of the Beckley Foundation, the group responsible for THIS REPORT which I wrote about recently.
Why are our elected official so afraid of the truth?
Why do we ignore experts on issues which are controversial? Certainly people with this sort of extensive knowledge and experience on any subject (including and especially drug use) should be embraced, as should their conclusions.
We don’t expect enough from our leaders, we should expect more. We should receive more too.
Let’s put Lady Neidpath in charge of the UK’s drug strategy. She’s already got my vote!
I realised this morning, I have a real problem with drugs…
No, not that kind of problem, you won’t see me going into rehab, no, no, no!
My problem with drugs is this: my drug of choice, weed, is not legal and I’m unduly made a criminal as a result. That’s a big problem.
Its silly, its unfair, and its unjustified. It’s also the law.
Laws can be changed and when a law is unjust, it should be changed. Criminalising people because they want to indulge in the consumption of a plant is stupid, no matter how you look at it.
Cannabis is comparatively safe, if you’re comparing it to the two legally obtainable drugs, tobacco and alcohol. You can’t overdose on weed and according to the post just below this one, there are only 2 recorded deaths attributed to cannabis in the history of recording!
How is society served by criminalising me? I am a respectable, otherwise law-abiding, tax paying citizen of this fine planet. Send me to prison for a few years and not only do you lose my positive contributions to society and the queen’s purse, but I end up costing you money! You think those orange boiler suits and mystery meat surprise for lunch every day is free? You pay for it! Isn’t it better that I stay on the outside and continue to purchase my own meals and clothing?
The truth is, the likelihood of me ever serving time for simple possession is minimal. I’m careful, I don’t take risks and I pretty much only ever smoke in the privacy and security of my own home. The only place I flaunt my cannabis use is here on the internet, but I do that for a reason. My agenda….
My agenda here has always been simple and hopefully obvious; I wish to remove any remaining stigma attached to smoking cannabis. I am a professional, I work full time (and then some), I take care of myself and the people I love, I’m kind to strangers and animals. Especially animals.
I’ve personally known loads of people who smoke dope, from the casual “I’ll have a couple of puffs on that spliff” types, to people “who can smoke me under the table”, I’ve smoked with them all. I’ve probably directly encountered over one-thousand people in the last nearly three decades of my daily dope smoking who have all enjoyed a bit of weed. None of them were homeless, clinically insane or went on to harder drugs. If anything, most of them mellowed as they got older, which is not something I can say for myself. Ninety-nine percent of them were gainfully employed and if I am honest worked in my profession. The media is full of hypocrites and the same people putting out anti-drug propaganda bullshit in the newspapers, enjoy a toot or a pill or a puff at the weekend.
Whenever I’ve had to deal with drug issues professionally, I’ve tried to be balanced and I’ve aimed to find voices on my side of the argument. Trust me, its more than most would do, for to be seen as sympathetic to drug use could land you in hot water. I’ve never kept my drug use a secret and if asked point blank by a boss, I wouldn’t deny where my interests lie. As I’ve aged, I’ve become more vocal in making sure the propaganda is not unchallenged. It’s about all I can do and I know its not much.
I want to do more.
I want us all to do more.
For the drug laws to change, every single one of us who smokes weed has to come out of the green closet and declare with pride our love of weed. If I do it on my own, if I outted myself here and now, there’s a very good chance I would lose my job or worse.
Attitudes are changing, more so than one might think. Especially if one is in the current, out of step with the electorate, government of this country. Remember, our Prime Minister, old whatshisface, the really unpopular one that EVERYONE hates, said that cannabis is lethal. What fucking planet is he from and can we send him back, please?
Check out this survey which was published today. Really, click here and read it, it won’t take you long.
Did you read it? Don’t lie, this hippy sees all. A bit like Santa Claus, or god, only I’m not fictional.
The “rave generation” has begat another generation of “junior ravers” and both generations think the other generation is on drugs. Cool.
The times, they are a’changin’ and our politicians have to wake up to this, especially on my pet subject. Climate change, financial meltdown, possible flu pandemics, a McCain presidency, the future is looking decidedly bleak. The least those idiots in power could do is let us all soften the blow with a little sweet smoke!
I really need help with my drug problem. I’m willing to help myself, if you’ll help me too, but its a big ask…
I want you all to consider outting yourselves along side me as a life long dope smoker. More than consider, I want you to make a pledge to do it and I want you to email it to me. If I get, oh I don’t know, a million emailed pledges, I will reveal myself to the world.
Ok, a million is probably pushing it.
Probably? I’ve got more chance of sprouting wings, spitting fire and renaming myself the northlondondragon.
What’s a realistic number? If I’m serious about this, and dammit I am, then I need to come up with a number that strikes a balance between being attainable and yet still giving me the confidence of knowing I’ll be backed up by my legions of hippyfans.
How many in a legion?
According to Wikipedia, around 5,200. Of course, Wikipedia says Neil Armstrong was the first man to eat cheese. At least it does now.
Five thousand ain’t nearly enough.
I’ve narrowed it down then, I need somewhere between 5,000 and one-million emails from you guys before I’ll tell the world who I am.
Clearly this plan requires more thought.
It’s not easy having a drug problem, especially when the solution seems so elusive, but with your help, maybe our collective drug problem can be cured.
(Keep reading, the next post is about weed too. I know, two in a row, go me!)
It’s about bloody time!
The Global Cannabis Commission report is being presented at the House of Lords today. It was undertaken by the Beckley foundation, a UN-accredited non-governmental organisation in advance of the United Nations strategic drug policy review expected next year.
The report makes a rather surprising recommendation…surprising because it is so sensible! They suggest that a “regulated market” should replace the current (silly and unenforceable) international prohibition of my favourite plant. The report proposes that we consider replacing prohibition with a system of labelling, taxation and minimal age requirements.
This is a seismic shift in attitude for the United Nations, which as an organisation, sits at the centre of cannabis prohibition, but I can’t say for certain that they will take this advice on board. After all, similar recommendations have been made here in the UK and have been promptly ignored by our ignorant politicians. Especially that incompetent uesless twit, Gordon Brown. I really thought he would be gone by now, but the Labour Party is seriously lacking common sense and balls and they pussed out at their party conference. Wimps!
This report puts the issue in context, going on to say “…in terms of relative harms it (cannabis) is considerably less harmful than alcohol or tobacco. Historically, there have only been two deaths worldwide attributed to cannabis, whereas alcohol and tobacco together are responsible for an estimated 150,000 deaths per annum in the UK alone.”
I’d like to know how 2 people died from weed. Did they choke on on it? Oh and the word “historically” in that context means since records began, which is a seriously long-old time!
Naturally this report is being warmly welcomed by cannabis campaigners world-wide, myself included.
My dope smoking recently hasn’t been recreational, as much as it has been medicinal, thanks to my recent health problems. Spliff helped when my back was seized up like a clenched fist and it continues to calm the nausea I am feeling from my chronic thyroiditis, which is another name for Hashimoto’s disease.
I don’t know what I would do without weed and I know that is the same for literally millions of people around the world, who are unnecessarily criminalised for our love of dope. I am not a criminal and neither are they! It’s about time the law caught up to this undeniable truth.
If you would like to read the Guardian’s take on this new report, all you need to do is CLICK HERE.
And if you would like to find out more about weed, please follow this link to the hippy’s cannabis truth series.
I’ve been digging the Canna Zine for a while now and I thought its about time I gave it some proper attention.
Canna Zine is “the only Pro-Reform (of cannabis laws) news agency in Europe” and an excellent resource for information on my beloved weed. They stay up to date with the latest news on weed, plus they give a lot of time and attention to other pro-reform groups.
I should mention that I am now listed as a cannabis resource in the UK in the Canna Zine directory, but that is more a statement of support from me to them, than any sort of endorsement of whatever it is I do here. I’m pleased they accepted my submission and I’m proud to be associated with a website that is striving to further a sensible, science and fact-based approach to cannabis.
This is especially important now as it looks very likely that Gordon (GGG!) Brown and his merry band of glee-thieves will be reclassifying weed early next year. I say “likely” because the move has yet to be rubber stamped by parliament. Yes, I know its a formality, but I still hold a small glimmer of hope that common sense, logic and decency will prevail and my beloved weed will remain in Class C…until it is first decriminalised, then full legalised, regulated, and taxed.
A hippy can dream. And I do. Still way too much.
I’m starting a new campaign today and I’m going to need help from all of you. It is my desire to see Gordon Brown removed from Number 10. Brown’s been Prime Minister long enough. Too long!
Gordon’s gotta go!
GGG!
Gordon’s
Gotta
Go!
Gordon Brown is by far the worst Prime Minister the United Kingdom has ever had, bar none. Even war-monger Blair had a bit of charm and charisma; Brown is a charisma-free zone.
I could actually cope with Gordon Brown’s stiff and unpleasant demeanour, if it weren’t for his total lack of vision and pointless policies and you know where this is going…
Reclassification…
Yep, I’m a one-issue kinda guy.
The Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) is the independent body which advises the government on drugs policy. No government has ever ignored their recommendations since the board was formed. Ol’ Gordo is preparing to ignore their advice and reclassify cannabis to Class B from its current status of Class C.
The ACMD have reviewed cannabis policy three times in the last several years; the first time Tony Blair and David Blunkett followed their advice and put weed into Class C. See, Blair wasn’t all bad. There was this and Northern Ireland, the rest, well that was all pretty bad.
The second time the ACMD recently reviewed cannabis, they again reached the same conclusion. This was done in the heat of the political firestorm that followed the original declassification decision and it only reaffirmed the move and the government left it alone.
The third review of cannabis was requested by Brown, in light of the “new evidence” of the dangers of cannabis.
The truth is, there is no new evidence, there are just conflicting studies which don’t come to any real conclusions regarding links between mental health problems and cannabis use. That hasn’t stopped the media from trying to whip up a Downing Street inspired shit storm of hysterical spin, painting cannabis as the devil’s weed. It was reefer madness mark II, only these days, most of us know much better.
The ACMD reached the same conclusion on their third review, that cannabis should remain in Class C – the report was delivered to Gordon this week. The contents of the report were leaked to the press several weeks ago though they have yet to be made officially public. Their decision, along with Gordon’s overruling of it is expected to come sometime after yesterday’s local elections.
Now, here’s the cool bit. If Gordon Brown ignores the advice of the ACMD, the members of the ACMD are prepared to publicly resign in disgust. That’s how serious this is.
On top of that, the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) are reportedly prepared to reassert the current guidance on cannabis possession, if Gordon does reclassify to Class B. In other words, they will continue to operate as if it was Class C.
Just a quick explanation on the differences between the Class B and Class C – the penalties are exactly the same for production and distribution under both. The end user ends up worse off under B.
Where they differ is when it comes to personal possession – under Class C, you should be cautioned and have the weed confiscated. Under Class C, you can still do time, up to 2 years in prison. Under Class B, there is technically no confiscate and caution option, the penalty for possession is 5 years in the big house.
Anyone with a brain knows that the classification of a drug has little to do with how people view it. Cocaine is Class A, carrying the stiffest penalties for possession, but people still take it. A lot of people, actually.
Since cannabis was declassified, usage has gone down. Since cannabis was declassified, far fewer people are unnecessarily imprisoned for a victimless crime. Since cannabis was declassified, we’ve had a drug policy in this country that was on the verge of sensible (with sensible being completely decriminalised or even better legalised, taxed and sold like liquor).
Gordon’s reason for all of this is the same reason he uses for everything he does. Gordon knows best.
Like fuck he does!
To say that Gordon’s drug policy is creating a complete muddle would be an understatement, like saying an ocean is slightly damp. It’s becoming an unmitigated disaster full of lies, hysteria, missteps, misinformation and decided lack of consistency or honesty.
In other words, for fuck’s sake, what a twat!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a politician so out of step with his country. He hasn’t a clue what genuine people are like. He can’t relate to any of us, because he is a complete social outsider.
Imagine, if you can, meeting Gordon in your local for a drink. He’d order a pint of whatever you’re having, but then hardly touch it. He’d try to talk to you about fiscal responsibility and moral authority, when you would rather talk about the football or how cool that new Iron Man movie looks. He would stand uncomfortably in the crowd, makings others feel uneasy, yet you would definitely get the sense he thought he was better than you, though you wouldn’t in a month of Sundays ever guess how he justifies it in his head.
Yes, Gordon, you are socially awkward and that was fine when you were the Chancellor and everyone thought you were doing a good job. No one thinks that now! The economy is up the spout, it’s screwed, its fucked and Gordon is to blame.
I’m paying £1.10 a litre for petrol. That’s really bad! (And for my American readers, I reckon that’s about 8 bucks a gallon and you didn’t read that wrong!)
The cost of food is skyrocketing too. But that’s not what is upsetting people at the moment, its the decline in house prices.
The economy here in Blighty has been falsely inflated due to the housing market. House prices were making wild gains, but that’s stopped now. People can’t trade up every year or two because their homes aren’t increasing any more. In some cases, they are decreasing and a term from a long time ago is creeping back:
Negative equity.
That’s a fancy pants way of saying your home is worth less than the amount you owe on your mortgage. It’s wank speak, really and it only matters if you are selling your house. If your house is not on the market, then it doesn’t really matter, but it might be the reason you can’t put your house for sale.
What would you do if you had a 100K loan and your house was only worth 75K. Where would you come up with that extra 25K to pay off the bank, plus interest? You wouldn’t, you’d just keep paying your mortgage and thanking god you have a roof over your head.
No one I know is getting rich or even getting ahead just by working. The people I know who have serious money in the bank, or have leap-frogged the rest of us on the property ladder have done so by making vastly inflated profits on property trading. That’s what has really been driving the economy.
Guess what? The economy is running out of steam and is grinding to a halt, thanks in a large part to the current housing market crash (or should I say crunch so I don’t panic anyone?).
And Gordon is to blame!
As I write this, the local election results are dribbling slowly out of my television. The topline is a simple one, it’s the Labour party’s worst showing in 40 years. They’ve come in third, after the Tories and the Lib Dems.
And Gordon is to blame.
Brown is a political liability.
Oh who am I kidding, he is a liability in every conceivable way.
I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a politician as much as I dislike Gordon Brown.
I have this fantasy that this afternoon, after all the election results are tabulated, certified and released and the true picture of the Labour massacre is confirmed, that a small group of very senior Labour types swing by Number 10 for a private chat with Brown.
In this chat, they ask him to resign asap, right then and there. When he refuses, they tell him if he doesn’t resign his position as Prime Minister, they will invoke a special extraordinary session of Parliament and call for a vote of no confidence in his leadership.
In other words, Gordon can do this the easy way or he can do it the hard way and its his choice.
Gordon is confronted with this difficult decision and he chooses to resign to make it seem like it was his idea. He returns to the back bench where we hardly ever hear from him again.
Or I’ve got another scenario, which I just thought of, just now. He could return to Number 11 and be the Chancellor of the Exchequer again, because of the dire economic outlook, the department needs his expertise again!
Basically, anything that ends his premiership before he can fuck up anything else is good with me.
I’ve even got a catch phrase for you. You can use it as a greeting, when you meet people. Better yet, you can use it to sign off letters and emails. Maybe I should get tee-shirts printed. How can we lose when we have my winning slogan? Go on, chant along with me!
GGG!
Gordon’s gotta go!
GGG!
GORDON’S GOTTA GO!
GGG!
GORDON’S
GOTTA
GO!
Three G’s means Gordon’s not for me!
GGG!
Gordon’s gotta go!
GGG!
Are you all with me?
(While we’re on the subject of weed, check out the northlondonhippy’s cannabis truth series.)
(deadline for entry now extended until the 1st of June 2008)
Attention: Hippyfans!
As previewed in a recent post, I am pleased to announce my latest and dare I say greatest contest, ever!
Better than when you gave away your old bong?
Oh yes!
Better than when you gave away your old car?
Nobody won my old car, so I swapped it for an ounce of skunk.
Better than when you gave away even yourself?
Oh come on, a gift-wrapped turd would be better than that!
This time, I’m going to be giving away a brand new, shiny, Midnight Blue Bushmaster Bubbler, just like mine!
I’ve had one of these Bushmaster Bubblers for quite a while now and it is genuinely one of the sweetest pieces I own. It’s perfect for chilling out on the sofa, watching TV and getting pleasantly toasted. You can smoke your favourite herbal mixture in it.
Personally, I prefer pure skunky bud.
Not only am I going to give away this amazingly well crafted piece of glassware, but I’m also going to include 10x glass gauze, because I know you’re going to end up losing them.
But there’s more…
Five very lucky runners up will receive Smiley Face – Head Case – Pop Tins. I have a couple of them and they are very useful. And you might have noticed, the classic smiley face makes an appearance in the banner at the top of this page. So, we’ll be like, just so, you know, connected!
And ten “we didn’t lose, but we’re not huge winners” will receive one pack of Dragonfly Kingsized Premium Flavoured Rolling Papers, which come in Blueberry, Chocolate, Cherry, Coconut and Strawberry – yum! The flavour you receive will be chosen at random, by me.
Actually, everything I’m giving away in this contest is being provided by me, though clearly from the links provided, I’m buying it all from my friends at EDIT. In other words, EDIT aren’t responsible for this contest in any way, so if you have any questions about it, please contact me directly.
Oh and I’m paying for the postage too, but if you have problems with your mail delivery, please don’t contact me.
So just to recap:
1st prize :
- a Midnight Blue – Bushmaster Bubbler, just like the hippy smokes
- 10 x glass gauze – jack style
- an autographed photo of me***
2nd prize (5 of these)
- a Smiley Face – Head Case – Pop Tin for your stash, just like the hippy uses
- an autographed photo of me***
3rd prize (10 of these)
- Dragonfly Kingsize Premium Flavoured Papers, because they’re yummy
- an autographed photo of me***
4th prize
there is no fourth prize, sorry.
Entering my contest couldn’t be easier, simply drop by my north London lair and perform an extended act of oral love upon me and you’ll have a good chance of winning.
Perhaps that’s not easy enough, as not that many of you can get to north London, so lets simplify it a bit more…
Entering my contest is as easy as sending me an email, there’s no cost at all. Just shoot one to:
and make sure you put:
Gimme your bubbler you crazy hippy!!
in the subject line!
You can do that. Your granny could do that, though why she’d want my bubbler, I really couldn’t say. At her age, a vape is probably a better bet, anyway.
Now the boring, tedious, legal disclaimer bit. Such a bummer, what a bring down, I wish I knew how to shrink the font so it could be proper “fine print”, but I can’t. I’m stoopid. Anyway, here goes.
1) The contest is open to residents of the United Kingdom (including NI) and the European Union only. Sorry, but I don’t want to be filling out customs declarations for water pipes.
2) You’ve got to be 18 years or older. For real, and a fake ID won’t do it. If you’re under 18, you probably shouldn’t be here anyway, though I guess telling you that will make you want to stick around even more. You still can’t enter the contest. Don’t worry, there will be other contests and if I keep running this site long enough, eventually you’ll all be old enough to enter.
3) Entry closes at midnight (BST) on Thurs 1st May 2008 and any entries received after this time will not be considered valid. I am giving you nearly a month and how long does it take to send an email?
4) If you are selected as the winner, you will need to supply a valid postal address. You can use a fake name if you like, but you need to use an address where you can receive it, especially the bubbler, because that won’t fit through your letterbox, even if the other prizes will. I won’t be using a real return address, so if it doesn’t get to you, it doesn’t come back here either.
5) It’s my contest and they’re my rules and what I say goes. I’ll pick the winners and I’ll let you know by email if you’ve won. If you haven’t heard back from me, asking for your address, then on this occasion your entry was unsuccessful, but best of luck in the future. (last sentence lifted from every rejection letter I’ve ever received, mainly from ex-girlfriends)
6) I’m the judge too and the judge’s rulings are final
7) Purchase not necessary…it’s not even possible since I don’t sell anything directly!
8) The rules are subject to change without notice and everything is at my discretion. (this is number eight)
9) Participating in this contest does not effect your statutory rights
10) Your mileage may vary
11) This contest is void in your area if prohibited by local law
12) No guarantees will be undertaken in the delivery of the prize, if the postal service loses it, we all lose!
13) The hippy is in no way responsible for anything that might happen as a result of you winning the prize or what might follow after any possible use of the prize. If you get in trouble with your parents, your partner or the police, it is your responsibility, not the hippy’s in any shape or form. The winner is solely responsible for everything! You can’t blame the hippy for jackshit, so don’t even try, fuckers!
14) If I think of anything else, it counts and you can’t sue me for it. I’m just trying to do something nice for my fans, don’t hate me for that!
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***There are actually not going to be any autographed photos. Would anyone really want one anyway?
