This hippy is heading for his five-hundredth post and I’ve decided to count them down, so welcome to post number 490! I hope you enjoy your stay!

Can you feel the excitement; is your anticipation building?

What will that crazy hippy do to mark this momentous occasion?

I’m ready to announce my most amazing contest!

I did plan on doing this one of the summer, but like most things in my life, it didn’t work out, but this time, I’m serious!

Are you ready for the “great, big massive, you can spend the weekend with the northlondonhippy contest”?

Well, whether you are or not, here it comes!

That’s right kids; you can win the chance to spend a weekend with me…at your place! This hippy will travel to your home for a weekend of soft drugs and inappropriate sexual contact.

The contest is open to anyone residing in the UK or the European Union, especially if Easyjet or Ryan Air serves it – this hippy’s not rich enough to afford anywhere further, so sorry if you’re big fan who doesn’t reside in these areas.

I’ll travel to yours on a Friday evening and stay until the Sunday. Included in the prize is a night out at my expense; dinner at your favourite local restaurant and drinks in your favourite local bar, pub or club. You’ll need to feed me the rest of the time and provide me with plenty of skunky bud and hot young women of questionable virtue.

I promise you a weekend of laughs and fun, as you would expect if you were hosting one of the internet’s hottest, rising stars!

I’m not the “biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of” for nothing, you know! I’m a barrel of fucking laughs! I’ll have you and your family and friends howling and pissing your pants in no time!

You can invite your friends, throw a party in my honour, I’ll sign autographs, answer questions, whatever you want me to do. I’ll even show you my cock if you get me drunk enough!

It will be like having your weed-addicted funny uncle take over your lives for a couple of days as I seek attention in every conceivable way!

It will be just like all of your northlondonhippy dreams will come true all at once! Can you fucking stand it?

And entering couldn’t be easier! All you need to do is send an email to me at thehippy@northlondonhippy.com with “come stay at my house you crazeee hipppeee!” in the subject line and tell me why you think I should come stay with you for a weekend. Offers of sexual favours and drugs will get you bonus points!

Included in the prize is my personal return airfare or travel expenses to get to your town, one night out for you and your partner, friend, relative or accommodating stranger, everything else is on you.

This contest is real and open to anyone over the age of 18, living in the aforementioned areas, who has a spare private bedroom and the desire to hang with this hippy!

I’m the sole judge of the contest and what I say goes, I can change the rules at any time and all of my decisions are final!

So that’s it, fuckers, the contest is now officially open and the countdown has begun! I’ll announce the winner in my upcoming, all singing, all dancing, and nostalgic 500th extravaganza and will accept entries right up until I post number 499!

So what are you waiting for! Getting emailing right now!

Hey ho my loyal and valued hippyfans! How might I kiss your collective ass even more deeply?

We will find out, as I am in need of your help! In return, I am happy to offer all of my female hippyfans unlimited oral pleasure!

Sorry guys, just a hearty handshake for you!

And why am I literally trying to bend over backwards to please you all?

Simple, this hippy is up for an award!

And not just any award either, but the prestigious BoB awards!

Don’t know what a BoB is? Shame on you!

The BoBs are the Best of the Blog awards and I’ve lost the contest 2 years in a row, but this year, you guys are going to help me win!

The BoBs are sponsored by Deutche Welle; the well-known German company that broadcasts radio and television internationally (in both English and German) providing a uniquely German perspective on world events and culture. They’re quite happening, actually! Check them out on shortwave radio, or satellite and cable TV!

But how can you, as loyal and dedicated hippyfans help? Easy, all you need is around 1 minute of your valuable surfing time and you can contribute to my campaign!

If you follow THIS LINK, you can rate my site (5 stars of course!) and leave positive comments, which praise me as your messiah and personal saviour. Please!

The prizes this year are very good, though to be honest I don’t really need them, so here’s the deal I’m offering!

First prize for best overall blog is an Apple MacBook. If by some amazing fluke of fate I actually won this, I would keep the MacBook, but check this shit out…if I do get the MacBook, then I will give away my 14-month-old iBook as a prize on my site! I’m not joking!

First prize for the other categories is a brand new Apple iPod with video and if I somehow manage to scoop one of these, then I will give away the brand new one, in the box, as a prize on my site!

Either way, if I win something, you all have the chance to share in my good fortune!

I’ll even ship it out to you personally!

Think I’m joking? Think again! The winner of my old bong is probably still puffing on it right now!

The final decision for the Bobs comes from the panel of judges who will be reviewing each entry and the following section is addressed to them:

Greetings Bob judges! Might I just state at the outset that no finer panel of experts and dare I say geniuses has ever been assembled anywhere, at any time, for any purpose!

With your excellent judgement and fine taste in everything, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you all just how amazingly good my website is; after all, you do have eyes!

I’m sure you’ve already decided to cast your precious vote for me, but in case you haven’t, the offer of oral sex and hearty handshakes is especially open to you all and of course you are NOT excluded from winning my iBook or the new iPod with video, should I be awarded with a top prize!

You can’t say fairer than that!

So there you have it my friends, fans and sycophants. I’m ready to do almost anything to win one of these coveted awards!

Here’s hoping I’m victorious in my quest!

Hey ho hippyfans!

Is life grand or what?

“Or what” is my standard reply to that question, but I’m a pessimist.

Ask me how I am and I’ll usually tell you, “…Never better”.

And if pushed to elaborate further I usually pause briefly and say, “just right then… that was my life peaking. It’s never going to get better than that very moment that’s just passed I’m so glad it was you who got to share it with me.”

I’m fairly sarcastic as well.

Don’t you wish you worked with me? I’m a barrel of fucking laughs.

It’s Sunday morning, north London time. I’ve been home from work for a few hours and have been availing myself of my brand new television.

It arrived on Thursday, but because of my erratic and variable work schedule, this was the first chance I’ve had to actually watch any quality television programmes.

I went for the Sony Bravia KDL-32V2000 and I’m glad I did. At the moment they are regarded as the best LCD panel currently on sale and from my limited experience with it, I certainly wouldn’t disagree.

The picture from SKY+ (standard definition) is razor sharp and the colours are rich and vivid. It produces perfect blacks; it has excellent contrast, no motion blur and no dead pixels. I’m very impressed.

My old Sony CRT set, purchased nearly nine years ago when it was already a dated model, served me very well, but compared to the new one, well, there is no comparison. For me it’s a giant leap into the 21st century….where rumour has it, I am a messiah.

It must be true; it says so at the top of your browser.

I’ve always had Sony tv’s, it’s a brand I trust. Dig it!

This morning, I watched the latest episode of Dr. Who from BBC One and the penultimate episode of ER from E4.

I used to think penultimate meant the perfect penis. Bad-dum-bum.

Dr. Who rocks and if you ever get the chance to see his recent incarnation, I highly recommend it!

I wasn’t a Dr. Who fan before last year, but they’ve done such a great job with it that it doesn’t matter if you are new to the franchise. The scripts are fantastic, the characters surprisingly deep and emotional and the story lines are far more dramatic than you would expect for what is essentially Saturday night, tea-time, family entertainment. Trust the hippy on this one!

Trust the hippy on everything!

ER is also consistently good and the final episode of the current series airs this coming Thursday. Mainly, in the current series, they’ve been quite political with the issues they’ve dealt with and the promising slant they’ve taken on them.

They’ve highlighted the deteriorating situation in Darfur as well as dramatising the Iraq war; both in such a way that the average (read American – sorry guys, but you’re international views do need broadening!) viewer could comprehend. That’s a good thing and should be applauded.

Ok, I did applaud, but I felt really stupid standing in my lounge clapping at my new tv. Even the cats looked at me a bit funny.

The other programme I’ve been digging obscenely is Lost.

I know, I know, old news to my American friends, as the current series ended last week. Please don’t send me any spoilers; I’ve managed to successfully avoid them so far!

The first series of Lost ended last January on E4 and they said it was such a hit that they would bring us the 2nd series in the spring.

My idea of spring is the end of March. Channel 4’s idea is the end of May. Bummer for the hippy.

I’ve been tempted to download, I mean acquire by legitimate means, the entire 2nd series, as now that it has ended in the states, doing so would not be very difficult. If I did, I could have a Lost festival and screen 20-odd episodes over the space of a couple of days…

Like I don’t have enough distractions in my life.

And it’s Big Brother season, which eats up a lot of time every day already. And you thought it wouldn’t get a mention in this entry. Well, it did and watch out for my next BB-centric post later this week.

Perhaps I should just stick to watching Lost on E4; then it’s only an hour a week which is perfectly manageable.

I’ve been reasonably good lately about posting here, managing a decent entry or two every week. I’m also still involved with a couple of other ongoing projects and I work every hour that god sends. He sends lots, because he wanted me to have the new telly.

I’m one busy hippy! I should stop sometime soon and catch my breath!

My hard work here on northlondonhippy.com has not gone unrewarded as my visitor levels continue to climb! Every month it seems I set a new record as you hippyfans go forth and multiply.

Which got me thinking, what can I do to promote this site even more?

And then I realised, you all can help and it won’t cost you more than a couple of minutes of your time.

Isn’t the pleasure and unbridled joy I bring into your otherwise bleak and dreary existence worthy of a couple of minutes of your time. You can do it right where you are, from the comfort and security of your PC.

No, I don’t want you to transfer money into my Nigerian bank account; I’m saving that scam for next month. No, what I want you to do is this:

Recommend my site to your friends. If you dig the hippy, chances are your mates will too. It will change their lives for the better, and isn’t that the goal of every right thinking, decent person on the planet?

So it’s simple, send http://northlondonhippy.com to half-a-dozen people in your email address book. Let them know about the coolest, most underground, happening website to ever grace the internet! They will thank and more importantly, I will thank you!

And if you play your cards right, I’ll be thanking you in person!

How?

Simple! My latest and greatest contest is going to be launched next week!

You can “Win a weekend with the hippy!”

No, not at my cramped north London lair, I’m coming to stay at your house!

That’s right kids, the winner of my next contest gets to host me for a weekend at their fabulous country home, or palatial European castle, or perhaps you’d like to treat to some 5-star hotel luxury!

What I’m saying here is you’re responsible for providing me with accommodation suitable to the style of which I’m accustom. That means no sofas, sleeping bags or bed-shares with elderly relatives. Bed-shares will be considered with your teenaged-daughters, provided they are 16 or above and can keep a secret.

I’m providing my own transportation, I’ll kick in for food, plus I’ll take you and your family/flatmates/partner/therapist out for a wicked meal at the restaurant of your choosing, in your city or town.

In other words, you can’t say, “I want to eat at Nobu in NYC”. For starters, I’d never get a reservation. Oh and it’s in another country!

The contest will be limited to residents of the European Union and anywhere Easyjet or Ryan Air have flights. Sorry North and South America, the Mid-East, Africa, Asia and the Subcontinent. Oh and Australasia too!

I expect you to have a fun filled weekend planned for me that will include exploring your part of the world, site seeing, drug taking and oral sex.

In return, you’ll be subjected to my many mood swings and my non-stop sense of humour. If you piss yourself with laughter, I’m not changing your pants!

So watch out for the big announcement and be ready with your entry! This hippy might be coming to see you very soon!

Today is an exciting day. Today is the day I announce the winner of the big bong giveaway!

That’s right, kids! One lucky hippyfan has just been sent an email from yours truly, letting them know that they’ve won my old bong!

And it’s not just any old bong, it’s a BLACK LEAF, one of the best acrylic bongs on the market!

Thank you to everyone who entered the contest; the quality and standard of your emails was very high. It made it much harder to choose only one winner!

I only wish I could send each and every one of you a bong of your own, but I’m not made of bongs!

Ok, let’s get straight to the exciting, nail-biting finish!

Can I have a drum roll please!

Congratulations to the lucky winner, and that winner is:

Mark (aged 23 ¼) from Norwich!

Well done, Mark! Your new bong will be arriving sometime next week, once I receive the delivery details. I’ll be personally taking the bong to the post office and sending it myself. It’s my personal assistant’s life time off.
I’ll even spring for first class delivery because that’s just the kind of hippy I am!

And here is Mark’s winning entry:

“Hello you crazeeeeeeeeeeeeee hippy!

Please send me your old bong as I’m a poor student and
currently resigned to smoking from an improvised pipe
made out of an old fluorescent light tube and it’s
tearing my lips to pieces!!! :/

Go on help one of the social underclasses out!!

Mark (aged 23 ¼)
Norwich”

So that now concludes my most recent wild and wacky contest.

You see, people really do win with the hippy, but let’s be honest; you’re already one of life’s real winners if you’re a hippyfan anyway!

Watch out! I’ve got another wild and wacky contest up my sleeve already! I’ll be posting all the details in the very near future, so be ready to enter!

If you thought the bong contest was something special, just wait till you see what the prize is next time!

Who will win my old bong? Will it be *you*? Only if you click *here*

Right now, I’m having more fun than you…

But that’s because I have more fun than everyone!

Think I’m joking? Think again!

Right now, one of my most wild and wacky internet schemes is finally bearing a bit of fruit, but shhhhhh, I can’t say any more than that, just yet.

I won’t be able to say anything for years! Hahahaha

Let’s just say I’m a patient little hippy and good things come to those who wait!

Could I be any more fucking cryptic? Sorry.

Also, I’m a bit stoned. No surprise there, but it’s making me even wilder and wackier than usual! Must be all this excitement!

The big bong contest is rapidly coming to a close; I’ll be notifying the winner a week today. There’s still time to email me your entry and the standard is quite high now, so you’ll have to make a real effort!

Don’t worry; this bong is worth it! It has a retail value of about £38 including my special modifications. That ain’t no chump change, sucka!

Of course, as a prize in a promotion, here at Hippy plc, it’s a business expense, so I will be deducting it from my income tax; much like I do with all the drugs I take, as they are all research expenses for this blog. Dig it, fuckers!

Posts are going to be a bit thinner than usual for the next week or so, because I’m working like an absolute slave starting from tonight. Don’t worry, I’m well paid, so all my effort will be handsomely compensated for! Yipppppeeee to that!

Remember, if you visit my page and there’s no new post, you could always take a random chance and dip into my hippy archive. Ok, so some of my old posts are shit, but some of the rock da house.

See how lucky you are. Here, I’ll give you a hint. Try searching my site using the following three words: “ass bombs euros”. You will be glad you did!

My bong is still up for grabs. Go on, try to grab it while you can! Click here for details.

Hey ho hippyfans! How the hell are you?

You know, my Black Ice bong is still sitting here, waiting to be won by one lucky hippyfan. Get your act together, send me your entry! Time is running out!

You’ll notice I’m not referring to you all as “fuckers” today, as my younger brother has said that perhaps my liberal use of this somewhat naughty word might be offending some of my potential hippyfans.

If it has caused anyone any offence, you have my most sincere apologies. My use of the word “fuckers” was meant to be complimentary, as in I was making the assumption that you were all getting some; and often!

So from now on, I’m going to refer to you all as “celibates”, which I’m sure won’t offend anyone, unless you’re proud of your prolific sexual activity, in which case I offer YOU my most sincere apologies.

You see, that’s the thing, no matter what I say, and if it has any sort of opinion contained within it, it’s bound to offend someone. For me, I’d much rather be up front about it and let you know where you stand with me from the start. I know this hippy and his “special brand of drivel” ain’t for everyone and I am profoundly cool with that.

My blog is the one place in the world where I can express myself fully and without any sort of self-censorship. I can share my rather strong and rabidly liberal opinions with the wider world with complete freedom.

That’s because nobody care’s much about the ravings of one mad hippy from north London.

Except you. You care. You must care, or you wouldn’t still be reading this, would you?

You care because you all are intelligent enough to recognise that I am the “one true genius of the 21st century”; you are clever enough to see that I’m “a messiah for the new millennium”.

“I’m the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of…but not for long.” The mainstream media is poised to discover me any second now. They’ll all drop to their knees and beg me to contribute to their traditional media world for bucket-loads of cash and lashings of critical acclaim!

Or maybe just a lashing. Who can really say?

The real world media doesn’t know what it’s missing out on by continuing to ignore me. I’ve got the real world credentials to be a living media god, but they don’t care, do they!

I suppose if I was some school teacher and I got off with one of my students, then they would care. Well they would if I was a woman, especially if I was a hot, young blonde woman like Debra Lafave.

She was a school teacher in the states who shagged one of her underage students. Big deal. Every teenage boy should be that fucking lucky with his first fucking!

If teachers looked like that when I was a student, and they put out regularly, attendance would have been at 100% every day of the school year! Just imagine the homework assignments! “Tonight, students, I want you to practise licking teacher’s pussy. I’ll be visiting all of your homes, one at a time and giving you each a chance with my waxed punani.” Oh baby, oh baby!

All right, enough with the cheap jokes. See the Van Halen video “Hot for Teacher”.

The fact is, male teachers have been banging students for as long as there have been schools. I can remember hearing rumours about teachers in my school screwing young girls and everyone just looked the other way. Even when they got knocked-up, which was one of the more believable and persistent rumours.

Always believe every rumour. Usually, they are true.

America and it’s crazy, wacky version of fundamentalist Christian values just couldn’t look the other way. Instead, they have tried to prosecute this poor, horny, hot young woman.

She stood accused of having sexual needs, which as everyone knows is a sin. She also stood accused of fulfilling her sexual needs with an underage boy.

She stood accused for being human. Who among us could risk temptation if it is served up on the proverbial silver platter? Does anyone really think getting a teenage boy to give it to a very hot, slightly older woman is a hard sell? Did she put a gun to his head?

Now that would be kinky!

The punchline to this entire tale is my favourite part of the story. It seems Ms. Lafave can’t serve a sentence in prison according to her lawyer.

Why? Simple, because she is too fucking hot looking to do time!

In the end, the judge dropped the charges and the matter has been put to rest.

I’m just wondering if it would be worth me signing up for her next class. I read somewhere that Debby Lafave is going to become an adult education teacher.

You can make your own goddamn joke from that one. I’ve given you a great set-up line to start with!

One of you is really going to win my bong, but you can’t win it, if you don’t enter. Click here for all the details. It really could be *you*

Hey fuckers. I’m having one of those hippydays that make life worth living already!

I’ve been awake since 5am, lucky me. I went to bed around 11pm, so that’s 6 hours of quality sleep. Ok, it’s not enough.

I’ve already watched the latest episode of the Sopranos, which is a pretty neat trick here in north London, considering it’s getting it’s first run in America on HBO right now. Why do I have to wait for Channel Four to get their act together? I’ll watch it again when they show it anyway, so everyone wins!

I’m digging it already and they’re only up to episode two. Rock on.

I’ve also been out to the superdupermarket and it was a good trip. I was there and back in 45 minutes and didn’t forget a single item. Yipppeee to that!

I’ve also read all my usual newspaper sites and other assorted webpages, checked all my email accounts and responded to the more pressing ones. I’ve also done some web shopping, placing an order with Amazon and EDIT.

Besides a few small, inconsequential items, the two main things I purchased from EDIT are the following:

A RooR diffuser (for my Little Sista 5.0 Ice Master)

…and

SPICE!

The diffuser was planned all along, but to order one, I had to measure the downpipe that was shipped with the Little Sista, because each bong is unique and the lengths can vary. Hey ho!

Spice, appears to be a herbal smoking mixture that is suppose to smell and taste good as well as get you high! Sounds good to me; and apparently it also mixes very well with weed, so I could be on to a winner. It also costs the same as skunk, so I’m hoping the reviews I’ve seen means it lives up to the hype. I’ll find out tomorrow.

I always try to stay up to date and on the cutting edge of legal highs! Watch out for my personal review of Spice, coming soon!
God, is this a dull-ass posting or what? I went shopping, I bought this, I wanked my cock down to a bloody stump!

OK, I made up that last one, just to see if you were paying attention. You are. Good.

See, here’s the thing. As “the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of….but not for long”, I’m constantly checking my hitcounter to see if my online stardom has arrived.

So far, it hasn’t.

That doesn’t stop me from checking, though. As “a messiah for the new millennium”, I know I need to get my words out to the masses in a big old way; and I know my time will come; and soon!

In the meantime, I am charting a rather steady increase in traffic to my site. There’s loads of new hippyfans joining you old timers every day. I can even see how many of you fuckers are bookmarking me and grabbing the syndication feeds and it warms this hippy’s heart to no end!

It’s not that I’m unpopular, or unknown, I prefer to see it as still remaining underground; so if you’ve made it here, well done you!

I love you hippyfans, I really do. That’s why I want to give you my old bong. For the hippy loveth you all so much that he doth giveth you his old acrylic old! Dig it fuckers!

So to my hippyfans, both old and new, thank you for visiting my page.

You’re part of the internet elite, a small, extremely intelligent and sexy subgroup of internet users who have the good taste, common sense and quite frankly, the overwhelming cool required to fully appreciate whatever it is I do here.

What is it I do here, again? Oh yeah, my special brand of drivel!

You are by far the best group of fans on the internet and though your numbers may be few (and growing rapidly), you all more than make up for it with your style, wit and joie de vivre!

So whether you are a first time visitor or a long time hippyfan, welcome to my wild, weird and wacky world!

“I’ll make you laugh, I’ll make you think, I’ll make you wish you were a hippy too!” Or something like that.

Well it’s a hippy happy, happy hippy, second anniversary to me!

That’s right fuckers; I’m two years old today, well officially anyway.

It was two years ago this very day that I became the internet’s smartest, sexiest and most well-hung blogger.

I’m the one true genius of the 21st century; I’m a messiah for the new millennium too!

I’m also the biggest internet celebrity you’ve never heard of! But not for long, now that I’ve reached this major blogging milestone, I’m sure the mainstream media will be begging to suck my cock.

Any day now, I’ll be asked to write insightful “think pieces” on various subjects for classy, glossy magazines as well as being invited to appear on popular TV programmes to discuss my progressive views on drug legalisation and oral sex.

Needless to say, I’ll be handsomely compensated for my time and trouble with truckloads of cash, buckets of hard drugs and countless easy women.

It could happen!

The non-de plume, “northlondonhippy” was actually first used by me around six months prior to my blogging debut on the EDIT Forums. I haven’t posted anything there in ages and ages, instead I put it all here in my blog. I do dip into it occasionally just to see what the kids are into these days.

When I was posting on EDIT, it was mainly on the subject of my beloved and now banned magic mushrooms. It was an excellent resource on the subject and still is, as well as having sub-sections for everything else under the drug-induced sun.

I tried to log into recently and guess what? I can’t remember my password and there doesn’t seem to be a way to reset it. Bummer, man!

Hey, if anyone from EDIT reads my blog, say “hi”; get in touch, let’s talk business!

Ah-hem.

So what’s happened to this hippy in the last two years? Do you really want the potted history?

There are over 430 hippy entries including this one, which catalogue my every move for the last two years. They cover my stretch of unemployment, my quest for finding a job, my drug intake, my stupid, cheap jokes at the expense of others, the loss of my father and generally every thought, feeling and emotion I’ve experienced.

Ok, maybe that’s a stretch, but you get the idea.

Everyone is busy; everyone goes through changes; what makes me so special?

I’m the motherfucking northlondonhippy goddamn it!

I swear unnecessarily, I blaspheme; I smoke dope daily. I always tell the truth, no matter where that truth may lead me, whether it is about the world, the universe or myself.

I know there’s more that I don’t know than I do. I know that’s true for everyone on the planet that is alive now or ever will be.

We know about 1% of 1% of nothing about our existence. I don’t see that increasing any time soon.

We’ll never know why we’re here; we’ll never know how we came to be.

Anything beyond those two simple statements is either conjecture or bullshit or both.

It drives me mad that I’ll never have answers to these basic, fundamental questions. I’ve lost more sleep pondering the imponderable than over anything else in my entire stinking life!

Is it any wonder I smoke dope all the time?

The real question is, why don’t the rest of you smoke it all the time too?

I try to sustain my pitiful existence by just accepting that I’m here and it doesn’t matter why or how. I get through every day by telling myself it’s all pointless, mainly because it is all pointless, in the greater scheme of things.

We’re tiny, insignificant little creatures, all of us on this planet from the smallest insects to us hairless, pseudo-intellectual apes.

Actually, we’re worst off of them all, because we can think; we think we’re special.

We’re not special; we’re just part of the flora and fauna…only we’re consuming or polluting the rest of the flora and fauna faster than it can keep up.

We are either poisoning ourselves or eating ourselves, either way that doesn’t leave much, does it?

So we all do what we need to do to get through each day.

So what if I’ll never get the answers I seek, neither will you, no one will. It’s not like you all know the truth and you’re keeping it a secret from me.

Are you? Are you?

Wouldn’t that be a pisser!

PS.
You can still win my goddamn bong.

I have to say the standard of entries so far has been a bit, um, I don’t want to offend anyone, but they’ve been a bit sub-par. I know you fuckers can do better!

There’s still time to enter, everything you need to know is just a CLICK away.

PPS.
Watch out for my personal top five favourite hippyposts, coming soon to this very page!

One bong. One winner. One hippy to decide! Click here to enter!

What’s with you guys?

Don’t you want to win my old bong?

This contest is serious. This contest is real!

You can win my old bong. Well, you can if you enter. There’s a link at the top of this page that will tell you how!

Someone really has to win it, why not let it be you!

My new bong arrived yesterday in all its RooR goodness. I went for the Little Sista Ice Master 5.0 and it’s a work of art! It’s also massive! It’s a good thing I’m getting rid of my old one!

Believe it or not, I haven’t tried it yet. I’m waiting for the right time to test drive it. I expect it will smoke like a dream.

I’m awake too early again this morning, thanks to two my cats. I’m working tonight and they woke me up more than 12 hours before I’m due at my office. I’m going back to bed, very soon.

I’ve got a couple of things I need to sort out before I rejoin my pillows and this entry is just my attempt to kill some time.

Does that make you feel bad? That I’m only here to waste some time? I’ve got no pearls of wisdom or clever observations to share with you. I’m just here because I can’t think of anything better to do.

A lot of life is just killing time. Waiting is probably our number one pastime. We wait in shops, in doctor’s offices, we wait for pages to load in our browsers online; we wait for food to be served, plates to be cleared, loved ones to phone.

Most of the time, we’re all just waiting to die.

Maybe your death is decades away, maybe it’s only moments. Perhaps while you’re sitting at your PC, reading this very hippyposting, you might shuffle off that mortal coil.

Sorry in advance if my drivel is the last thing on your mind when you meet your maker!

Perhaps you’re one of those people that fill every waking moment with something useful and worthy. Well done, you.

I try to keep busy, I strive not to waste time, but I can’t help it. There’s just so much of it to waste.

Until you run out of time, then you wish you could have all the time back.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted the last 20 years of my life.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t had fun, because I’m the king of fun, but I do wonder sometimes if the choices I’ve made and the directions I’ve taken have been the right ones.

There’s a school of thought that says whatever decision you make, it’s the right decision, because it’s the one you made. I’ll buy that because it means you can absolve yourself from any second-guessing.

I don’t like to second-guess myself. Instead, I take stock frequently. Most days, I’m not doing too badly.

I’ve got Mrs. H, I’ve got my younger brother; I’ve got a job I dig that pays reasonably well and I’m writing more lately than I ever have. I’ve got a roof over my head and food in my belly. I’ve got computers, the internet and satellite tv. I’ve got a house full of cats that keep me entertained. I’ve always got dope!

What is this, fucking thanksgiving?

The real question is; would you do anything differently if you had the chance?

Of course I would! Wouldn’t you?

For starters, I’d be taller!

That’s right fuckers! My old bong is up for grabs and maybe you will win it!

I’m giving away my slightly used, slightly modified, Black Leaf Bong with an Ice Twist. That’s the actual bong you can see in the slightly blurry cameraphone pics above. It’s even nicer in real life.

It’s a black acrylic bong, quite tall, angled, with an integrated ice twist for an extra cool smoke. The bong features an Australian styled lift off bowl for easy refilling and cleaning and has a carb hole on the back.

I added the orange extending tube that you can see in the photo; it adds a level of filtration as well as adding length. Size does count, kids! Don’t believe everything you hear!

The bong hits like a dream and I’m only parting with it to make room for yet another bong and of course, to improve the otherwise bleak and dreary existence of some lucky hippyfan!

I tried to give my car away once; it didn’t work. I gave away an afternoon of shrooming with me; way back when magic mushrooms were legal. This time, I’ve got a prize that all of you will want badly!

So here are the rules.

1) You need to be 18 years or older to enter. Sorry kids, but I won’t be corrupting any minors. You’ll all have to do that yourselves.

2) I’m only willing to ship the bong within the European Union, so if you’re not in the EU, sorry. It’s simple, there are no customs checks within the EU, so I’m confident the winner will actually receive it by standard post. I’ll repeat that, this contest is only open to residents of the European Union with a valid postal address.

3) The judge’s word is final. I’m the judge, what I say goes. The prize will be awarded according to my discretion, so don’t blame me if some local 19 year old hottie who offered me oral sex won it over you! I didn’t say I wasn’t corruptible or open to bribes, so do your worst, er best!

4) The bong will arrive in plain packaging, sent and addressed to whatever name and address you supply. Yes, you can use a fake name, but you need to supply a valid address. The bong will arrive in excellent, clean condition, with a brand new bowl, and conincal gauze. The postage will be fully paid.

5) Only the winner, upon notification of winning will need to supply an address. You do NOT need to send me any of your real life details to enter! If you are not prepared to supply details so I can ship the bong to you, if you win, please don’t bother entering!

How to enter:

Entering the “Win the hippy’s old bong contest” couldn’t be easier! Follow these simple steps and you will be well on your way to possibly winning my old bong for free! Everyone loves something free, don’t they?

1) All you need to do is send an email to thehippy@northlondonhippy.com

2) Important! Please put “Gimme your old bong you crazeee hippy” in the subject line of the email.

3) In the body of the email, please explain in as many words as you think you need, why I should send you my old bong. Be creative, be convincing!

4) Please mention your genuine age and location. I don’t mean your street address; for example, I would say “north London”.

The winner will be notified by return email no later than Friday 14th April 2006, so no entries will be accepted after midnight 13th April 2006 (local north London time).

Disclaimer:
- This contest is void in your area if prohibited by local law
- No guarantees will be undertaken in the delivery of the prize, if the postal service loses it, we all lose!
- The hippy is in no way responsible for anything that might happen as a result of you winning the prize or what might follow after any possible use of the prize. If you get in trouble with your parents, your partner or the police, it is your responsibility, not the hippy’s in any shape or form. The winner is solely responsible for everything! You can’t blame the hippy for jackshit, so don’t even try, fuckers!
- Er, that’s all I can think of…
- If you’re a lawyer and want to keep my ass out of trouble, email with more!