Another year has flown by and I’m already celebrating my anniversary of being the northlondonhippy, again.

And by celebrating, of course I mean writing this.

Whoopeeee…

Seven years ago today I started my original website on Blogger. Its still there, though I moved everything to this, my own hosted website a few years ago.

Go me!

Back at the beginning, I posted quite frequently, mainly because I had nothing better to do.

Blogging sprouted from a relatively brief period of unemployment , it gave me something to do with my time, when I wasn’t getting high or gobbling magic mushrooms, which were legal at the time.

You didn’t think I was going to get through this without a mention of shrooms, did you? Shrooms played an important part in the early days and I was a regular consumer of them. Since the government tightened up the regulations, I’ve been without them. I miss them, a lot. Shroom reference ends.

Flash forward to seven years into the future, to this very day and you’ll see that I hardly post anything, any more. There’s probably more posts about my lack of posts, than any other subject.

I don’t even attempt to make excuses any more, I’ve just accepted that my participation here is sporadic and random. I pop up whenever I feel like it, I just don’t feel like it very often.

That’s not strictly true, as I seem to continue to maintain a running list of topics I want to cover, I just don’t seem to get around to doing it. Then, whatever the topic might be, becomes less interesting to me, or less relevant and I delete it from my list and it just never gets written.

I’m back to making excuses again. Sorry, I’ll stop now.

It would be easier if I could just beam my thoughts directly to the internet, I think that’s coming as a feature this summer in the iPhone 5, but don’t quote me on that. I wouldn’t want to be starting that sort of a rumour.

I know I bang on about Twitter a lot, but I do spend a lot more time there than I do on my own website. If you did want to bathe in the weird thoughts flowing through my head on a daily basis, that remains the best place to do it. Though again, my participation is random and sporadic. I consume far more than I contribute to Twitter, but I do suffer from information gluttony and tech addiction.

That’s probably one of the biggest changes to my life in the last seven years, the amount of technology in it. I’ve always liked tech and toys, but here in the future, they are more pervasive and useful than ever before and I find that I am always connected, always consuming media.

A typical day starts with me picking my iPhone up from the bedside table, switching off airplane mode and letting it check my email. I put it in airplane mode when I go to bed, so it doesn’t ding or buzz with new messages, but I leave it on because it is also my back up alarm clock.

I come downstairs and fire up my iMac, which is the hub of my technological existence. The hard drive in it died last week and its being repaired this very second. Don’t worry, I have a TimeMachine back up, so I don’t think I’ve lost very much at all, but I am missing my 27” beast very much.

I’ve been using my lifeboat computer in the meantime, an original black MacBook that I think is nearly 5 years old. While I’m thankful that I’ve got it to use now, its painfully slow, its got about 25% of the screen space of my iMac and the viewing angle of the LCD screen is not very good. Five years is a very long time in tech termss and my MacBook is definitely showing its age. Its better than nothing, loads better!

Anyway, my normal routine with the iMac is to switch it on as soon as I wake up, read the papers online, along with a few other websites, check my RSS feed reader, keep an eye on Twitter, do some work on some other websites I work on, deal with professional and personal emails, sync and charge my iPhone and control my Mac Mini.

My Mac Mini is around 4 and a 1/2 years old and is also showing its age. I use it as my media hub, its connected to my flatscreen tv and my A/V amp. I use it to play music (streamed around my house to two AirPort Express units, one in the kitchen, one in my bedroom), I also stream online radio stations the same way. I use the BBC’s iPlayer service, I download and playback videos from Bit Torrent, I use it to screen XVID films friends give me, or even just to playback videos I’ve shot myself. It gets used a lot. I mostly control the Mac Mini with a remote control, or I use OS X Screen Sharing to remotely use control it from the iMac.

My iMac is a powerful computer, I use it to edit video and I mainly use iMovie. I also record my own music, using Logic Pro and a host of external toys and musical instruments that connect to my iMac with ease

Once I’ve done everything I have to do on the iMac, I might move over to the sofa with my iPad. I surf, use Twitter, keep up with my RSS feed, all in a relaxed, comfortable way, but that’s not all I’ve done with it. I’ve also used it to edit video, write blog posts and record music. Some of the music production apps I have are truly amazing, especially Apple’s new GarageBand app. Its easy to lose hours of your day just playing around with it. I’m also a secret Angry Birds HD addict, but shhhh, don’t tell anyone.

My iPhone is always with me and I use it for so many things, its really a Swiss Army Knife of a gadget. Its my calendar, my contact book, my mobile Twitter machine, RSS reader, internet browser, still camera, video camera, music player, film and video player, navigation device, compass, photo editor, video editor, news portal, note taker, audio recorder, gaming device, clock, weather centre, torch, handheld trackpad for my Macs, email client, reference library, text message device, oh and its a telephone and videophone too! It does even more than that, I’m just running out of steam thinking of it all.

My point to all this tech history is that none of this was possible 7 years ago, 2 of the devices I just mentioned couldn’t have even been imagined then.

In 2005, I had a running joke here about my brand new all digital lifestyle, right around the time I bought my first iMac. Its no joke today, my life truly is all digital. So’s yours. So is everyone’s.

They like to describe all this as “disruptive technology” and that’s a pretty accurate term, as long as you don’t see disruption as a necessarily bad thing. I don’t buy CDs any more, I don’t go to record stores any more, because that industry has been disrupted by the ease and availability of music downloads. If you own a chain of music stores, you’re not going to like this sort of disruption, but if you are a keen media consumer, you’re probably pretty happy about it.

Technology isn’t the only thing that’s disrupted my life in the last seven years, there’s also been some illness and some death. When it comes to disruption, nothing else comes close.

Both of my parents passed away since I started this website. My father was already ill when I started it, and his cancer featured frequently back in the day. Somewhere, in the archive, is a post called “Dad’s pissing blood again” and I’m surprised it didn’t win any awards. He died before this blog was a year old.

My mother crossed over to the great beyond at Christmas, two years ago. Nothing fills you with the holiday spirit like a bereavement on Xmas eve, and that applies to the future too, Xmas will now and forever be a reminder of her death.

While my mother had health problems for years, her sudden death was unexpected. My father died slowly over the course of a year and we pretty much knew when his death was coming to the day. I last spoke to him two days before he died and I got to say goodbye. I didn’t have that chance with my mother.

I’ve become old in the last seven years, at least in my head I have. In my head I’m not 48, I’m “pushing 50”. One of those posts I haven’t written is entitled “My unhealthy obsession with death” and I will get around to writing it, mainly because I’m hoping that spitting out a life time of death obsession might help me move past it. Or not. Who knows.

Blogging is like therapy for me sometimes, its a good way to try to work shit out.

I don’t really think I will ever work out my weird obsession with death, specifically my own. I’ve imagined my moment of death so many times, in so many ways, yet I know that none of it has probably come close to whatever horrible fate awaits me, as it awaits us all.

Keep an eye out for my death post, it will be a cheery little number, guaranteed to lift your spirits and make you want to do a happy dance down the street.

The truth is that I feel expendable, disposable and irrelevant because I am getting old. Maybe that’s normal. Maybe there’s no such thing as normal.

I can feel my body breaking down, I discover some new ache or pain on a daily basis. My joints creak, my muscles throb, my bones ache and I’ve been diagnosed with a long term health problem that requires daily medication for the rest of my life.

Middle age is a joy.

Middle age is stupidly named. Either you are young or you’re old. I’m old. Physically I am, but in my head I’m still 18 years old and full of all the hopes, ideas and dreams I had at that age. Sad, eh?

I’m the same person I was back then, I might move a bit slower and have loads more knowledge and experience, but I’m still me.

And I still smoke weed.

That was one of my goals when I started blogging, to further the cannabis cause. I’ve been smoking weed every day, for a couple of months shy of 30 years. I would qualify my use as a combination of recreational and medicinal, though its certainly more medicinal these days.

Weed should be legal and the fact that its not shows just how mixed up our current drug policy has become. Cannabis can be so beneficial in so many ways.

Right now, in these difficult and depressing economic times, cannabis is a cash crop our leaders should not be ignoring. A licensed, regulated and more importantly taxed cannabis market would be a much needed boon to the economy. Instead they would rather close schools, hospitals and libraries and let criminals control the market. Its as foolish and shortsighted as it sounds.

I’m not going to bang on about it too much now, my position is clear.

I may not be as prolific as I once was, but there’s a giant archive of nearly 750 posts to explore. You might learn to love me, you might come to hate me, but I’m sure you can waste plenty of time here, if you desire.

So that’s it, my weird and rambling reflection of the last seven years of living my life online, just for you. I’m always here, just a few mouse clicks away. Come hang out with me, any time.

If the first seven years are anything to go by, the next seven ought to be a real gas, man! Groovy!

I used to be a sometime blogger who sometimes blogged here, sometimes, but I haven’t posted diddly in nearly 2 months.

Go me.

The usual non-excuse, excuses apply. I’ve got no good reason for doing so little here, except that I am easily distracted by shiny things.

Apparently, being attracted to shiny things is hardwired into our DNA, and is common to many creatures, not just us. Evolution favoured offspring that understood shiny usually meant fresh drinking water. If you could find the fresh water, you could have a healthy drink and live long enough to pass on your water discovery skills to the next generation.

My water comes out of a plastic bottle (oh the shame) or the tap, so I have no real need to be drawn in by shiny things. Damn you evolution.

I am digressing like a motherfucker now.

I’ve toyed with shutting my website down in the past, but I don’t really want to; I like having a site where I can spew and vent when I feel like it. I just don’t feel like it very often.

December and January are shitty months for me anyway, what with xmas and the anniversary of my mother’s untimely demise and my birthday all around the same time, I’d really rather just hibernate until February. I’m not sure how that would work, exactly, but fattening up for a long nap is something I think I could really handle.

There are couple of personal milestones coming up in 2011 that I am looking forward to already: my 20th anniversary of moving to London and my 30th anniversary of smoking weed every day. I look forward to reflecting on both of those things in the future.

Especially the 30th anniversary of smoking dope every day, because once that passes, I’ll be able to say things like “as someone who has smoked cannabis every day for over 30 years…” blah, blah, blah. I can feel the smug self-satisfaction coming on already.

They still lie to us about weed on a regular basis, so isn’t it nice to know your old uncle hippy is here to tell you nothing but the truth about it?

Weed is why I am still around, its saved my life in countless ways on countless occasions. That shit should be legal for adults to possess and consume and in some cases its consumption should be mandatory.

I haven’t given up on common sense prevailing, but I cling to common sense and truth the way a baby clings to its favourite comfort blanket. If you try to take it away from me, I just might cry and wail.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Who wouldn’t want a high that was legal? Isn’t that the ultimate goal? Sure, booze is legal and will get you absolutely blotto, but so what? People want a choice of intoxicants.

I don’t like liquor and if asked, will declare that I no longer drink. Its true, I can’t remember the last time I had even a sip of alcohol. The hangovers were just too much to bear. I’m too old for a self-inflicted sore head.

Where does that leave you if you don’t like booze, but you do enjoy altering your state of consciousness? Black market drugs like weed and coke and smack and MDMA and speed and LSD I guess.

But what if you don’t want to break the law? I’ve already suggested voting for leaders who would change the laws, but we can’t seem to find any, except for the Lib Dems and if its going to be a hung parliament anyway, then we should all vote for the Lib Dems so they can have a bigger share of the eventual coalition government.

But I digress. If you want to get high without breaking the law, you look for something legal.

Until 2005, fresh magic mushrooms were legal to purchase and possess in the UK.

Finally, there was a legal high available that was profoundly effective and readily available. I shroomed regularly for a couple of years, every week or two. I was always careful, I stayed in a safe, comfortable environment (my own home) and had very pleasant, enjoyable times. It was easily one of the best drug experiences of my life, I can’t begin to express how much I enjoyed it.

Well, I can and I did, if you read the first couple of years of my output here, I rave about shrooms continually. Taken responsibly and with a rough knowledge of the appropriate dosage, shrooms are relatively harmless. You would need to consume your own weight in mushrooms for the dose to be fatally toxic and I haven’t heard about anyone who’s tried.

You could always pick fresh mushrooms in the wild, provided you knew what you were looking for, because the wrong type of mushroom could be fatally toxic at a much lower dosage. But if you were buying them from someone who could reliably tell you the strain, with knowledge of where they were farmed and advice on how many to take, you would be much better off.

And for a few years, we were much better off, with our safe, easy to buy fresh shrooms. It was bliss.

And then they got very popular. And then the media got interested. And then the government got involved. And then they were banned.

The above paragraph will be repeated again, you will notice, I promise.

And so I did sadly lament the demise of my beloved shrooms because the government man didn’t want me to have any more fun.

But it was too late, the market for legal highs had been established, a decent customer base still existed. All they needed was another product, something legal that would fuck you up a bit.

The answer came from New Zealand:

BZP

BZP came as something called party pills, which was a big change from fresh shrooms, it was a man made chemical of dubious origin. Rumour was it was used for worming pets, but it gave people a buzz, so we tried it.

It worked. It was quite speedy and a bit spacey, pleasant but not overwhelming. There were many brands, legal high forums were brimming with reviews to help you choose. People were happy to have anything that was legal and had an effect.

And then they got very popular. And then the media got interested. And then the government got involved. And then they were banned.

Right around the same time, the first legal marijuana substitutes that worked came along, the first was called Spice, which has become a generic term for these drugs. The ingredients were kept secret, so we didn’t know what the magic herbs we were smoking were, but we knew they got us high.

Turns out the herbs weren’t magic, but the JHW-081 they sprayed onto it was. JHW-081 is a synthetic cannabinoid, made in a lab to mimic THC. Sneaky fuckers, no wonder it worked.

As if overnight, many different brands of smoking mixtures came on to the market, all with a very similar weed-like effect. It was legal, but it was also expensive, and in some cases pricier than real weed.

Think about that, people were willing to pay more for a legal weed alternative, than actual weed. That says a lot.

And then they got very popular. And then the media got interested. And then the government got involved. And then they were banned.

In the gloom of my post-legal-shrooms existence, I tried many of these legal highs and a few years ago, I was getting these rather delightful little capsules shipped in legally from Israel.

They tried to keep the ingredients a secret, but with a bit of research, I discovered it was a chemical related to cathinone, which is the active ingredient in khat, the Africa plant that is used as a stimulant when chewed.

At first, I only ordered a couple and found them quite pleasant and quite strong, closer to real MDMA than BZP or the crap that followed. I ordered a few more, and then a few more.

And then I ordered a lot.

And then I lost a couple of days. No lie, I think my bender lasted around 48 hours. People were concerned, I just disappeared. It was the most morish drug I’ve ever had and I used to do coke years ago. I kept going until I swallowed the last pill I had.

Then I crashed for a couple of days and felt extremely depressed. I was angry with myself for losing control, something I rarely if ever do while under the influence of anything. I didn’t control this drug, this drug controlled me.

It didn’t, ever again. I didn’t touch any more after that. It seemed to target my pleasure centre with laser-guided precision. No thanks.

Guess what I am 99.9% certain that drug was?

Mephedrone.

Kids, listen to your old uncle hippy, that shit’s not worth it. Its way too morish. It feels absolutely wonderful when you’re taking it and you will want to take it endlessly. You can’t, eventually the money, or your body will give out and then you will crash. The crash sucks. Its not worth the pleasure.

As much as I don’t like mephedrone, I am merely suggesting (in strong, unambiguous terms) that you not take it, I am not suggesting some knee jerk reactionary ban. Actually, I think it makes more sense to keep it legal and out in the open. at least until you have an alternative to offer.

If the government can’t offer an alternative (I suggest weed, please), the marketplace will find one. It always does, because we live in a capitalist society and supply will always try to meet demand.

Oh, and if you’re against supply and demand, even in the illicit marketplace, then you are against the very foundation of capitalism. So take that all you anti-drug commie pinko socialists! Get on the free market bandwagon, don’t get in the way of trade!

Banning mephedrone isn’t the answer, unless the question is: “how can we get another untested, cutting edge man-made intoxicant into the hands of our children in the quickest possible time?”

I’ve yet to see one conclusive report of a death being caused directly by mephedrone. I’ve seen lots of bullshit about it being “linked” to a few untimely deaths, but alcohol and other drugs have also been in the mix, though that hasn’t been highlighted.

If I drank myself to death right now while eating a banana, you could quite accurately state that, until the coroner’s report is issued, my death was linked to eating a banana. I can see the headlines now, “Ban the Yellow Scourge”.

Booze kills and kills often, but the alcohol industry spends a lot of money on image and reputation management. When you think of liquor, you don’t think of corpses, do you? No, you think of good times, parties and women in tight dresses that you know will have sex with you.

Think about how many times you’ve gotten pissed, puked your insides out and woke up the next day feeling like death, swearing you’d never ever do that to yourself again. Until next Saturday.

That’s either effective marketing or addiction. Or both.

The legal high industry isn’t organised, they don’t have a centralised body to speak on their behalf and be their public face. Its the same for illegal highs for that matter. Who represents them? Who does their spinning?

No one.

Maybe its time they did.

People’s need to get high, to be intoxicated, to alter their state, is not new and its not going away any time soon. There will always be a demand for substances, legal or otherwise, that change your mood.

Recent history has shown that when given the choice, people prefer legal substances, even if they cost more and have less pleasant effects than their illegal rivals.

If the government left well enough alone with my old friends, magic mushrooms, none of us would have ever heard of mephedrone and whatever might follow.

Go on, if you let us all have legal weed, we can leave all is designer drug shit alone. Please?

All over America, attitudes and laws are changing and changing fast.

What are we doing wrong here in the United Kingdom?

Lots, by the look of it. How is it possible that we are falling behind America on this very important issue?

A few years ago, the situation was reversed. The attitude here to weed was relaxing, Tony Blair and David Blunkett downgraded cannabis to Class C, making possession a very minor offence. In America, so much as a seed or a used hash pipe was enough in most states to get you a lengthy, mandatory prison sentence.

Cannabis didn’t remain Class C for long, as Gordon Brown asked the ACMD to review its status. The ACMD did just that, twice and recommended that it remain in Class C. That was unacceptable to our very desperate and weak, make-believe Prime Minister and he pushed ahead with restoring cannabis to to Class B. Class B increased penalties for possession, but had no effect on production or distribution, the penalties are the same for either classification. Gordon wanted to send a “strong message” that cannabis was a “dangerous, deadly drug”.

Now, you can ask any teenager if cannabis is lethal and once they stop laughing, they will set you straight. Cannabis is in no way lethal, but our current government and ruling party don’t have a problem lying to the general public about anything. These are the same shitbags that invaded Iraq on the basis of utter fabrication, so a little white lie about weed won’t cause any issues with their consciences.

Well, I can tell you right now, its causing major issues with mine!

America is moving apace to legalise weed. This is a huge shift in attitude and approach from their previous policy of “just say no” and the war on drugs. Its seismic!

America is the most litigious country in the world, if there were any risks to cannabis, someone would be getting sued for damages, whether its the government for allowing it or the people who provide it. America has accepted that cannabis is not a bad thing, but a beneficial product that can help millions medically.

C. Everett Koop, former Surgeon General of the United States declared that cannabis was the “most therapeutically beneficial substance known to man” years ago, but it is only now that America is accepting his assessment. At least they got there in the end.

We are still so far away from taking a common sense approach that I’m not sure what to do. Gordon Brown, in his ignorance and desire to appear strong on drugs, has set the cause back at least a decade. Its time we regain some of our lost ground.

Its not just America, many countries have relaxed their drug policies to reflect common sense, the most recent being the Czech Republic. How could the UK be lagging behind them?

We’re lagging behind almost everyone.

I want to change that. I am going to change that.

I just don’t know how yet.

Every journey starts with a first step and this is mine. My goal for 2010 is to combat the ignorance and stupidity that is UK drug policy. Its time for all decent, upstanding, otherwise law abiding residents of this fine country to stand up and demand that they are not criminalised for enjoying a smoke.

We can fight the lies, we can fight the ignorance. We can fight, fight fight until we get what we want, which is a legalised, regulated and taxed cannabis market. The time is now!

A year from now, we will be closer to our goal.You have my word on it.

Martin Luther King, the famous and revered American civil rights activist once said, “…there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that, “an unjust law is no law at all.””

I don’t really write myself memos, that would be stupid and probably a bit too neurotic and tight-assed even for me, but that doesn’t take away from the message.

To be fair on myself, I had a very busy October, working more last month than I have in a very long time, nearly 18 months. That’s a year and half to normal people.

This is going to be one of those rambling posts with no set agenda or dominant topic. Its the blogging equivalent of singing scat. Be bop be bop wow.

I probably shouldn’t use the word “scat” on my website, as it does have other meanings outside of the world of jizz, I mean jazz. Too late, so let’s just forget about it.

I’ve got a few days off, which is always welcome and I am hoping to receive my very own Eigenharp Pico. When I ordered it a couple of weeks ago, they said it should ship out today!

What’s an Eigenharp? Its a brand new electronic musical instrument, its available in 2 models, the Alpha, which is the professional, full sized version which is pricey as fuck and the Pico, its more affordable baby brother.

Rather than have me try to explain all this to you, why don’t you CLICK HERE and check it out for yourself. Once you get there, go to The Roadshow section and watch the short You Tube video. But be careful, you will end up wanting one yourself.

http://www.eigenlabs.com/

I have no idea what exactly I am going to do with an Eigenharp Pico, but I am planning on using it when I finally record the northlondonhippy album. I know, I know, I’ve threatened to do this before, but I feel ready to invest the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears to do it now.

I’ve upgraded to the latest version of Logic Studio, I’ve updated the drivers for my Roland UA-25 interface, I’ve got a decent microphone, a midi keyboard, a Fender Telecaster and soon my Pico. Now, if I can find some talent somewhere inside me, I’ll be laughing.

And don’t worry, my plan remains the same…to record 10 songs which you can download for free, burn onto CD, put on your iPhone or iPod and just groove out with the hippy.

To give it the full title, it will be called:

“the northlondonhippy & the seven deadly sins: 10 songs about sex & death”

The seven deadly sins are my make believe band. I don’t really have a band, but if I did that’s what they would be called. And they would rock hard and be tight as fuck, but mainly they would do everything they could to make me look good.

I’ll probably never really have a band.

“10 songs about sex & death” is rather self-explanatory as ultimately they are the only 2 things in life that really matter. All the rest is just to kill time in-between.

I reckon I’ve got at least one album in me, but then I think most people do if they knew how to tap into it. Its the same with novels, screenplays, whatever. If I can tap into it, it should be fun.

And I’ll say it again, if I get one million downloads, I’m booking Wembley for a concert. Not the Stadium, but the Arena. I’m not completely crazy.

I won’t get a million downloads in a million years, so I think I’m safe. And let’s face it, if a complete nobody like me can rack up 1 million downloads, then someone will wanna sponsor and promote my big Wembley gig.

Tickets won’t be free, but they’ll be affordable. The real money will come from the concession stands, tee-shirts and northlondonhippy souvenirs, as long as my factories in China can keep up with demand. If they can’t, I’ll just have another school closed and bring in more children. They work for candy.

Do you keep up with my musical tastes on Last.FM? You should, because every song I play, at home or on the move, is scrobbled to my account there. Username is: n_londonhippy

I used to have a Last.FM widget here on my website, but it broke after a recent WordPress update. I will get it replaced as soon as there’s a working version of the plug-in again.

You might have caught that cannabis has been back in the headlines here in the UK as the government’s chief advisory on drugs policy was sacked for telling the truth. Well, a truth that completely contradicts the governments own policies.

I’m not going to re-hash (see what I did there?) the whole thing now, because it hasn’t reached its conclusion yet. I expect there will be some movement tomorrow, as the Home Secretary who sacked the chief advisor is meeting with the remnants of the advisory board to discuss its future.

In a nutshell, since 1971, the Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs has been advising the UK government on drugs policy. No sitting government has ever ignored the ACMD’s advice, until a couple of years ago when they returned weed to Class B from Class C, against the recommendation of the panel.

The only thing that changed by reinstating cannabis’s Class B status is the penalty for possession, which at that level is 5 years in the slammer for even a small amount. That’s madcrazybatshitstupid.

Polls have shown that the majority of people think a 5 year sentence for simple cannabis possession is too much, but the same polls also say the public wanted to see cannabis returned to Class B. Guess why? Because no one explained that Class B meant 5 years. If you don’t give them all the facts, then how can your poll be accurate?

The head of the ACMD, a smart and eminently qualified gentleman by the name of Professor David Nutt has refused to parrot the govt’s lies. He has also been quite vocal in pointing out the many flaws in the current antiquated drug laws. Since he was sacked, he went from vocal to angry and he’s been extremely forthright in his rather accurate criticisms of the government.

Two other members of the ACMD quit in protest over Nutt’s sacking and the rest of the members may very well do the same, if the Home Secretary can’t sort this all out. My guess is he can’t, and the British government’s drug policy will descend even further into chaos.

As you can imagine, I’ve been following this one quite closely and if you follow me on Twitter, I’ve tweeted dozens of links to news stories pertaining to all this.

Do I think this will lead to a break through in drugs policy? Nope, but I’m usually a pessimist anyway. What I do think is its brought the debate back to the fore and that’s never a bad thing. And if more people in this country wake up to the truth about weed, that’s not a bad thing either.

Eventually the drug laws will change, I just hope I live long enough to see it happen.

Like I said, I’m planning to do a lot more on this rather complex story after tomorrow. I just want to see how it all plays out.

I think I’ve rambled enough now, if you’ve made it this far, well done you. You are clearly someone of excellent taste, a superior intellect and nothing better to do to do with your free time. I think I’ll join you on that third one, its time to go vegetate in front of some fine televisual entertainment. Family Guy here I come.

That’s what other people’s excuses and apologies sound like to my jaded ears. Just so much noise and hot air.

I’ll spare you mine. I don’t actually have any. I just haven’t bothered to post anything here.

Call me crap-ass if you like. Mr. Crapass. Crappenstein. Crapfuckingtastic.

Just don’t ever call me late for dinner. You can ask your grandparents where that one comes from because its older than they are.

Its not that I don’t come up with great ideas for things to write about every day, because I do. Coming up with this shit’s not hard, sitting down and doing it is.

I always seem to have something else to distract me away from doing something semi-productive and nearly useful, like writing one of my patented hippy things. Ok, I haven’t actually patented them, because someone already beat me to it and got the patent on crap.

I’d rather be day dreaming. I’d rather watch tv, or read or pass out in a drug induced stupor.

Alright, truth be told, its been years since I’ve been in any sort of stupor because I don’t do those naughty drugs any more. I don’t even drink and trust me, if you’re aiming for a stupor, booze is most definitely your bestest buddy.

The only reason I’m gracing you with my presence now is that I popped onto my own website and noticed how long it had been since I bothered to post anything and I thought, “fuck man everybody gonna think I be dead or some shit like that”.

Yes, I my inner voice sounds like that, doesn’t yours?

So here I am, after a nightshift and a couple of spliffies, spewing utter rubbish just for the sake of having something semi-current on the top of my home page. Do people even call them homepages any more?

Maybe I’m just losing touch. I genuinely had to look up some words in the Urban Dictionary that the kids are using these days, because I didn’t fucking understand them.

Maybe I am your grandpa.

Oh yeah, we’re approaching my birthday, its only a couple of months away. Is it too early for me to start my annual moan about ageing and middle age and dying and death and yada yada yada?

Apparently not.

I was going to write something about zombies the other day. I can sum it up for you. I saw Zombieland. I liked Zombieland. I like Zombies. Zombies scare the beejeezus outta me because they are dead, right, but like they’re walking around and you know, they want to eat your brains, only you can’t kill ‘em, um…because like they’re already dead?

Ok, that’s not really my review of Zombieland, though I did see it and I did like it, but that was an actual review I overheard on the street. I might have made up the beejeezus part for comic effect, but the rest is pretty much word for word what I overheard.

I was going to stretch all that out to 1000 words. You don’t have to thank me for sparing you that zombified opus, just send cash or provide sexual favours to me and all my friends.

How cool would that be if random strangers from the internet offered to shag my friends, just because I asked them too. I’d be the most popular guy around. You’d want to be my friend too. I can sort you out with random hook-ups, no charge.

Wait a second, if I have random strangers willing to sleep with people I know, I’d be a fool not to charge something. How about a handling fee? That sounds fair. Shall we call it £200 quid for the hour, you can talk extras directly with your internet date upon arrival.

You see, this is how people suddenly become pimps. One minute, your just typing some crap on the internet, the next you’re running a stable of pros.

Snoop Dogg’s life suddenly makes a lot more sense to me now.

She was surfing the internet on her iPod Touch, which she does quite a bit, preferring it to using our iMac.

“Of course I do”, I said slightly defensively, trying to remember when I last posted something here. I had to check.

It was three weeks ago. That’s long, even by my somewhat lax standards. So what have I been up to in that time?

I was kind of hoping you could tell me.

I haven’t been working that much. I haven’t been doing much of anything, if you must know. I think I am perfecting the art of being and nothingness. I’m not even sure if I exist any more or even ever existed in the first place.

I might not even be fictional. I could just be imaginary, living only in your mind.

You’re staring at a blank screen right now, only your mind thinks you are seeing words written by some weird make-believe, north London-based hippy. How’s your imaginary grammar?

See, this is what happens when you start the day with a strong coffee and a skunky spliff peppered with bubble-hash. Everyone should start their day this way.

I spend inordinate amounts of time simply lost in thought. I disappear into my own little Utopia, where I right the world’s wrongs and allow my creativity to flow freely.

I used to do all that in the real world, but at some point, I stopped.

Oh I’ve worked out when it stopped and why. It was when I first got sick with my stupid Hashimoto’s Disease a couple of years ago. I didn’t realise it at the time, it probably took another year before I twigged that something was actually physically wrong with me, but in retrospect, it all fits.

Between 2004 and 2007, I wrote 2 novels and was reasonably prolific here on my website too. Towards the end of that period, the 2nd book fizzled out while I was writing it and remains one chapter shy of being complete. The first book was published, but I didn’t do enough to promote it and it languishes on virtual shelves, unread.

The first book was nearly commissioned as a TV series too, but the media is a fickle and fucked up mistress. The guy who liked it and could have commissioned it with a flick of his pen, moved on; his replacements were far less enthusiastic and the possibility of producing the series faded away.

Rather than continue to plug away trying to do something with it, I let it go too. At the time, I just thought I had lost my enthusiasm for the project, but in truth, it was probably my ill health that robbed me of my fire.

I haven’t done much of anything since.

Of course, that’s not strictly true as I still work (mostly) full time and I do post the odd piece here, but my output is not even close to the levels I reached a few years ago.

I’m still being treated for the Hashimoto’s Disease and my doctor is still adjusting my medication levels. If they ever get it right, I should feel better and be back to my old self. That’s what they tell me, anyway.

In the mean time, I’ll continue to distract myself with my vivid imagination and soft drugs.

Now, aren’t you glad Mrs. Hippy asked if I still post here? Blame her for the 5 minutes of your life I just wasted, not me.

In truth, it did get around, shockingly fast. Thanks to TMZ.com and Twitter, the sad news spread around the world at the speed of tweet.

And just for today, MJ doesn’t mean marijuana here, it stands for Michael Jackson.

I was working the night he died, just heading into the office as the news broke.

I was early and paused outside the building to have one last smoke before going to my desk. As I flicked through a Twitter app on my iPhone. I caught one of the first tweets that stated MJ had been rushed to hospital in an ambulance with a suspected heart attack.

A colleague of mine joined me at this point and as he lit up a cigarette of his own, I told him what I had just read and we started speculating on “what if” it turned out to be the worst case and he was dead.

For both of us, working overnight in a newsroom, MJ’s death translated into utter fucking chaos for many, many hours. Whatever the outcome, I knew it was going to be a nasty-assed night.

In reality, it exceeded my expectations.

Beyond that, the rest of my night at work is not really important. It was yet another busy one, dealing with a large breaking story. I’ve had countless nights like that.

It wasn’t until after that night, and the subsequent few at work, that I really had the chance to consider the significance and magnitude of his death. That’s not meant to be an overstatement, its huge news that will carry on running for a long time, as will MJ Inc. which will exploit his passing even more than the media ever could.

Before you start thinking I’m some mega-fan of MJ’s, I’d like to take a moment to point out that I’m not. I didn’t hate his music either and I can appreciate his undeniable talent, I was just never a fan of his solo stuff.

As a child, I did like the Jackson 5, but it was practically children’s music. A-B-C, its easy as 1–2-3… It was like Sesame Street does Motown, before Sesame Street existed.

I liked some of his music videos, because they were innovative, ground was broken with several, but I never bought an MJ record.

I should also mention that I believed the allegations about him. Always did, still do. Perhaps its just my view of the smoke+fire equation, but everything I read about it, makes me think there’s something to it.

Everyone seems to be skipping over that part of the story right now, perhaps I should too.

I’m old enough to have vivid memories of Elvis Presley dying. Its difficult to really explain how momentous this was at the time. Elvis was even younger than MJ when he died, all bloated, pinching a loaf while squatting on the bowl.

Not a pretty picture.

Elvis was big when he was alive, they didn’t call him “the King” for nothing, but in death Elvis was even bigger. You only have to look at his estate’s accounts to see that he’s grossed more money since he died than he ever did alive.

Now, think of the “King of Pop”, or MJ Inc. as I’ve been thinking of it. MJ’s music is more modern, his audience is still on the young side. Elvis’s audience was mature when he ate his last fried banana sandwich, yet he has still kept on selling.

Also, MJ’s music sounds more modern, it can easily sit on the radio along side music being released today. An Elvis song sounds old, because they pretty much all are now; perhaps “dated” would be a more appropriate description.

I liked Elvis, I thought he was cool, at least until his 1968 comeback special. If you’ve never seen it, it really is worth your time. After that, he kind of became a parody of himself, which was sad to see. I do have one Elvis CD, a compilation of his Number 1 hits.

And even though I like Elvis, I’ve still managed to make a couple of jokes at his expense. Imagine the MJ jokes I could make; or better yet, don’t imagine, just think of some you’ve already heard from your mates.

Only the really funny ones, please.

Its too soon, we have to continue to feign reverence for a while longer, before we can stop whispering the jokes and speak them out in full voice, in a crowded room, to thunderous laughter without a hint of shame. Try it now and all you’ll get are muffled giggles and undeniable gasps.

No one dubbed MJ the “King of Pop”, the title was self-anointed following a spontaneous introduction when being presented with an award. Once adopted, MJ’s PR people forced the media to refer to him as “King of Pop” and after a while it stuck.

Now, no one could take that crown away from him if they tried.

His death was tragic, as is any death at a relatively young age, but his is made more so because of his immense talent. If ever there was a tortured artist…

MJ didn’t have a conventional childhood. How could he when he was rehearsing and performing from such a young age. His father sounded like quite a taskmaster, which is polite speak for motivating Michael and his brothers by beatin’ on their ass(es).

Michael told Oprah as much on tv, so it must be true.

MJ was screwed up, dysfunctional even, but I believe the current, accepted term to describe him is: eccentric.

The problem with being the King, be it Elvis or MJ, is no one ever says “no” to you. For Elvis, it was fatty foods and prescription drugs, for MJ, well we can be fairly certain it wasn’t fatty foods.

If we believe what we’re reading in the media, then MJ was using all sorts of doctor prescribed goodies that most likely killed him. Most disturbing is the report of one of the drugs being Propinal (AKA Diprovan), a powerful anaesthetic that should only be administered in a hospital because it is a continuous IV drip and requires full monitoring by a qualified doctor. The risks include respiratory arrest, which is fancy doctor-speak for: shit, he’s completely stopped breathing!

Fuck. Why didn’t I hear of this before? Talk about a celebrity endorsement! Where can I get my own private medical doctor to come round and make a few days just zip right by, while I’m comatose and probably millimetres from death? All the cool kids are going to want to do some POP (PrOPinal = POP as in the King of, its new, street name).

How messed up in the head do you have to be to want to be dosed up like you were having your appendix removed? How much would you want to escape both the entire world and yourself?

And what sort of licensed physician would administer that to someone privately, in their own home? Don’t they take an oath that says something like, “First, do no harm?”

Playing with anaesthetics sounds seriously harmful to me.

Which brings me back to where I started, with this becoming an ongoing news story. One of the biggest, most controversial pop stars in the world died suddenly, possibly at the hands of someone else.

Yes, I am talking murder.

And so is the LA Police, or so it would seem to me. Just because they say they don’t suspect foul play, doesn’t mean they don’t suspect something foul happened.

If I was to gamble, I’d say someone will end up being charged in connection with his death. Someone will become known as the man (or woman) who killed Michael Jackson.

And even though his funeral and public memorial are today, this story will run for years and years.

Expect more revelations about his private life to be competing with the twists and turns in the legal battles, criminal and civil, while he continues to break records for music sales and MJ Inc. makes hundreds of millions.

What does it say about our society that we can worship someone for their talent, while being fascinated by their eccentricity, yet repulsed by their alleged proclivities?

As a character, MJ is about as complex and rich a tapestry as you’re likely to find.

And what does it say about our society that so many talented people, in so many different areas of the arts, are so tragically fucked up? MJ’s not the first mega-star to succumb to such a sad end.

He won’t be the last, either.

Nice people take drugs (courtesy Release)

That’s an actual photo of a London bus advert placed by Release, an organisation committed to reforming UK drug laws.

Here’s Release’s mission statement, from their website:

“Release is the national centre of expertise on drugs and drugs law – providing free and confidential specialist advice to the public and professionals. Release also campaigns for changes to UK drug policy to bring about a fairer and more compassionate legal framework to manage drug use in our society.”

Release have launched this new public awareness campaign, please visit their site for more details. Its sensible, logical and very true.

And click here for the The Guardian’s take on the campaign.

Could this be the first step in the right direction? Let’s hope so!

Update 10th June 2009:
Since posting this a few days ago, the ad campaign has been censored by advertising regulators and taken down. Click here to read more.

If you’re not familiar with 420 (four-twenty), click the above link. Its practically a national holiday in America and if we’re lucky, it could very well catch on here in the UK.

America is usually several steps ahead of the UK and the US’s attitude to cannabis is a great example of this fact. Its where the pointless “war on drugs” began and it just might be where it ends too.

Since Obama got hit with a “legalise cannabis question” from an overwhelming number of people online, all of America is rolling with frenzied momentum towards legalising this hippy’s favourite plant.

The O-man shouldn’t have been so dismissive of such a serious and relevant question, but he’s a popular politician so he can’t be seen to be soft on drugs.

That hasn’t prevented Senator Ron Paul, who is also a popular politician, from calling for an end to the war on drugs, but he is a hero and libertarian and not afraid to express an opinion.

American Conservative magazine can see the pace of change regarding cannabis laws in America. And the conservative right seem down with it too.

Even the mainstream press is getting in on the act, with Time Magazine asking and answering, “Why Legalising Marijuana Makes Sense”.

Not only that, Time Magazine also asks and answers, “Is Pot Good For You?” Of course it is!

Why the sudden shift in America?

Two things right now are forcing people to rethink their stance on cannabis in the states, one of which already applies here in the UK.

Its the economy, stupid.

With this whole recession/depression nonsense, can anyone disregard the effect a legalised cannabis market would have on a nation’s GDP?

Legalising weed, in an instant, would create legitimate jobs that would be taxed, not to mention a tax on the actual product itself. It would raise a lot of money and fast.

Wait, let me revise that. It would bring an already established and thriving black market economy into the mainstream. Ka-ching!

Its been said that if weed were legal and 420 were a proper holiday, it would have the same sort of effect on the economy as xmas. Ka-double-ching.

Weed smokers would willingly be taxed in return for not being criminalised, so says Salon Magazine. I sure as hell would be ready to pay tax on my dope, if I didn’t have to worry about being arrested for toking!

The other problem in America is one that hasn’t reached Europe yet, but it could in the future and that is gang related violence.

The southern border of America is where the real drug war is taking place, but not between law enforcement and criminals, but between rival drug gangs. Police on both sides of the border have been ineffectual and possibly corrupt, when they’re not getting caught in the crossfire. The death toll is sadly, quite high and its bad for business on both sides of the border.

The trouble on America’s border is forcing people to realise that the drug market should be under some sort of government control and regulation, for without that, it leaves criminal gangs running the show.

Just as the prohibition of alcohol in the states in the early part of the last century created gangsters like Al Capone, the prohibition of drugs created Pablo Escobar and those like him who control the industry today.

America’s finally grasping that legalising cannabis would solve more problems than it could ever create. By legitimising an existing industry, America will reap the rewards financially and it would help create a new stability along the Rio Grande.

Check out this report from the very respected Cato Institute, which looks at the positive effects of the decriminalisation of all drugs in Portugal. Its very enlightening and worth a quick read.

You’ll notice in all of debate and discussion in America, there hasn’t been any talk of cannabis-induced psychosis or schizophrenia, nor the demonisation of the stronger strains of cannabis known as “skunk”. That’s because its all spin and bullshit created here in the UK to allow our politicians to use weed as a political football that scores easy own-goals with the ill-informed electorate.

In the states, stronger weed is prized and celebrated for being particularly “medicinal” and is seen to be more beneficial, not less. There are no “cannabis hysteria mums” and no mention of unproven links to mental illness. Remember, a former Surgeon General in America (C. Everett Coop if memory serves), called marijuana “the most therapeutically beneficial substance known to man”.

Confusion continues to reign where cannabis policy is concerned here in the UK, with random, pointless changes in classification and penalties every couple of years whether we need them or not.

Even the government’s own drug counselling service, Ask Frank, is telling younger callers that “cannabis is safer than alcohol.” Its completely true and in line with what the experts say, but its inconsistent with the government’s own stated policy, which of course, ignores the advice of the aforementioned experts they employ.

There are already whispers in Whitehall, many politicians here can see the scrawl on the wall, but are wondering how to right all of the wrongs of the last few years. The government has used the media to paint a totally false picture of the dangers of cannabis, so how do they turn it back around?

Simple, just let the lies quietly fade away and replace them with the promise of cold hard cash.

Is it going to take open gang warfare on the streets of Britain for our leaders to deal with cannabis responsibly? I hope to god it doesn’t come to that, but I don’t see any other way for them wake up and start dealing with reality.

The Guardian published a great report last week, which states that ending the prohibition on drugs would save the UK around £14 billion pounds. That’s an amount that can’t be ignored, especially in these difficult economic times. Law enforcement, the penal system could all be overhauled and the resources could be redirected to actual crimes with victims and everything…!

They’re searching for the green shoots of recovery, perhaps cannabis is literally the cash crop greenery we’ve all been seeking.

And maybe one day, we’ll all be able to openly commemorate 420 in the manner appropriate to the event. And that’s exactly what this hippy is going to do right now, as I spark up a juicy, skunky spliff.