The northlondonhippy

Archive for the ‘legal highs’ Category

Hey, hey and ho, fuck­ing ho! The hippy is here to sort out all your gift-giving dilem­mas. That is, if you’re shop­ping for some­one who is supercool!

I’ve got a few rec­om­men­da­tions for you and there’s still time to order them all online and receive them in time for the big day!

I’ll start with a book that is well worth giv­ing to any­one who appre­ci­ates the vast com­plex­ity of human emotions.

- Post Secret – the book
I’ve cham­pi­oned this blog before and I’m still a big fan. The artist solicited people’s secrets, anony­mously via post­cards. They’re actu­ally quite mov­ing and I’ve been on the brink of tears more than once check­ing out his web­site. The book is a well-put together col­lec­tion of post­cards; some that have been on the site and oth­ers that are brand new. It would look great on anyone’s cof­fee table and I was very happy when it recently became avail­able to pur­chase in here Blighty.
– Post Secret – the web­site
– Post Secret – the book (via Ama­zon UK)

It’s a wor­thy project, which has gen­uinely touched peo­ple, so please buy a copy and sup­port the artist, Frank Warren.

Now for a musi­cal sug­ges­tion, two CD’s that I like very much:: Muse – Black Holes and Rev­e­la­tions and the Killers – Sam’s Town.

Muse has been a favourite of mine for quite a while now and their lat­est album does not dis­ap­point. This is big, anthemic music per­formed with pas­sion. If you like hard rock with an intel­li­gent edge, this is the CD for you!

The Killers sec­ond album is also a win­ner, but I was a big fan of their first, Hot Fuss, so no one should be sur­prised that I dig this one too. It’s got a very tra­di­tional rock and roll feel, but with elec­tronic tex­tures that keep it in the 21st cen­tury. Big in the UK, not so much in the US, which is weird because they’re from Las Vegas. Give it to some­one who just likes good music!
– Muse – Black Holes and Rev­e­la­tions (via Ama­zon UK)
– The Killers – Sam’s Town (via Ama­zon UK)

I’ve selected Ama­zon for the book and the CDs as they’re very reli­able and they can still ship out to the UK before xmas!

My friends at Everyonedoesit.com have a huge selec­tion of gifts for the hippy in all of you. Besides hav­ing one of the largest selec­tions of legal highs avail­able in the UK, they also are one of the best dis­trib­u­tors for all things RooR – this hippy’s favourite glassware.

They recently started stock­ing the clas­sic RooR glass water pipe and I’ve just ordered the three-piece model for myself. It’s com­ing tomor­row! And at only £65, it won’t break the bank either! RooR, quite sim­ply make the best glass­ware in the world, so if you need a gift for some­one who enjoys alter­na­tive smok­ing meth­ods and sub­stances, this is the pipe for them!

EDIT stock quite a big range of RooR good­ies, with some­thing to suit every bud­get, from the mini-steamroller right up to RooR’s col­lab­o­ra­tion pieces with Shiva glass, that do actu­ally cost an arm and a leg, but are gorgeous!

You can also check out EDIT’s exten­sive selec­tion of legal highs, with a flavour and effect to suit almost everyone’s tastes! At the moment, I’m still favour­ing Spice Gold, which costs a bit extra, but has quite a kick. It mixes espe­cially well with weed too!

And finally, EDIT also has a selec­tion of xmas gift boxes, again in sizes to suit everyone’s bud­get. They even do a line from RooR!

I’m a big fan of EDIT and have been for years now. I shop with them, a lot and they are fan­tas­tic. I should also men­tion I’m an affil­i­ate of their’s, which is why you see their adverts on this site. But I wouldn’t give them space on my web­site, if I wasn’t 100% behind what they do!

Ok, now onto the big gift, for that some­one spe­cial. Choose Apple!

I love my Apple toys, I’m typ­ing this on my iMac right now and my new Mac mini is sit­ting under my Sony Bravia. I just sold my iBook, to make room from my next lap­top, either a Mac­Book or a Mac­Book pro, I haven’t decided yet!

The easy choice from Apple is an iPod, though you do need to choose a model. I have to say, even though I don’t own one, I think the 2nd-gen, 8gb black nano is the best one in the line-up. A friend of mine has one and it is pure sex and plays music too! If you hold one in your hands, you’ll want one!
The new iPod shuf­fle is also a lit­tle devil of a music player; as small as a match­box, holds around 240 songs and only costs £55 quid. What’s not to love?

I’ve got a 60gb iPod with video, which has since been replaced by the 80gb ver­sion is also a fan­tas­tic piece of kit, though it’s the most expen­sive one they make. What can I say? I’ve got good taste.

By far, the best thing Apple is sell­ing at the moment is their Mac­Book. Every­one loves them and they’re expected to sell sev­eral hun­dred thou­sand of them in the run up to xmas. You can still order one online and prob­a­bly get it by xmas, or you could just walk into any Apple shop and walk out with one. You do need to pay for it first!

So there you have it, the hippy’s help­ful hol­i­day shop­ping guide! I hope it’s helped some­one out there decide what to get some­one special!

And if you’re shop­ping for this hippy, I’m really hop­ing for a green xmas…so just get me an ounce or two of skunky bud. I’ve been a very good boy all year, you know!

A very pleas­ant good (morn­ing) (after­noon) (evening) (delete as appro­pri­ate) to you, my fine feath­ered hippyfans!

I hope life is treat­ing you all like a two-hundred-pound-an-hour hooker! By that I mean if life is fuck­ing you, I hope at least you’re well com­pen­sated for the inconvenience!

I’ve had a busy week, but now I’ve got three days off and I sense a northlon­don­hippy drug fes­ti­val com­ing, either on Sat­ur­day or Sun­day, real life com­mit­ments depend­ing! Yippppeeee to that!

I’ve got a brand new legal high to try, called MASH, which my friends at EDIT are now stock­ing. It sounds like an inter­est­ing one, as it doesn’t con­tain any BZP, but is made up of some other legal sub­stance and it’s sup­posed to be a good one for chill­ing out at home. I’ll let you know when I post my review.

My other option is to finally get around to try­ing KRATOM; I’ve got a cou­ple of grams of 15X EXTRACT that’s been sit­ting in my drug-drawer for ages. The reports I’ve read about it online have been over­whelm­ingly favourable, so it’s about time I gave it a test drive.

And yes, I do have a drug-drawer, doesn’t every­one? It’s chock full of all sorts of legal highs and other good­ies, sit­ting there, just wait­ing for me to have the time and the hip­pyspirit to indulge in them.

All good things come to hippy’s who wait. Per­haps this week­end, the wait is over!

But none of this is the rea­son I’m here today. Oh no, I’ve come in here to give my per­sonal endorse­ment to a fea­ture film a friend of mine has made.

Mak­ing a fea­ture film is a fairly impres­sive accom­plish­ment, but to do one off your own back, with­out the sup­port of a money’d up stu­dio is quite frankly astound­ing. I guess it’s just a tes­ta­ment to my friend’s drive and deter­mi­na­tion that she was able to pull this off.

The lat­est news is that an Amer­i­can dis­trib­u­tor has been sniff­ing around with intent and there’s a very good chance that my friend’s film could be com­ing to a the­atre or DVD shop near you in the not too dis­tant future.

From there, it’s only a mat­ter of time before Hol­ly­wood beck­ons and she’s helm­ing her first blockbuster!

The film is called “The Plans of Man” and my friend’s Myspace site can be found RIGHT HERE. There’s even a very slick and pro­fes­sional, offi­cial site, which you can find if you wish by CLICKING HERE.

My friend doesn’t really know much about my site, but I’m think I should prob­a­bly send her the link, so she knows what she’s get­ting her­self into! In a few days, if she Google’s the name of her film, she would find it any­way, so a head’s up is prob­a­bly not a bad thing!

Even though I’m approach­ing my 500th hippy post, I’ve told very few peo­ple I know about this site. I’ve men­tioned that it exists, but I’ve not really handed out the URL. I like to think of it as my dirty lit­tle secret!

My more ded­i­cated hip­py­fans will cer­tainly be aware of how weird and twisted my life is, espe­cially the thoughts and drugs I allow to run free in my brain, but peo­ple I know it real life, prob­a­bly don’t have a clue. That’s not a bad thing.

I decided a long time ago that if this blog was going to be of any inter­est, to any­one, it was going to need to be bru­tally hon­est and incred­i­bly per­sonal. I think it cer­tainly was that when I started, but less so as time has passed.

The way that I can give myself the free­dom to be that hon­est about myself and more impor­tantly my many and var­ied short­com­ings, was to stay as anony­mous as pos­si­ble. Toil­ing away in rel­a­tive obscu­rity, as I do, has made remain­ing anony­mous a breeze.

If every­one I knew in the real world were vis­it­ing my lit­tle site, it would inhibit what I wrote. That would be bad; bad for me, bad for you; bad for everyone!

I dig being the hippy and the first and most impor­tant rea­son this site exists is to amuse me. That may sound self­ish, but as long as I con­tinue to enjoy being the northlon­don­hippy, I’ll keep doing what­ever it is I do here.

What is it I do here again?

I spent a good chunk of yes­ter­day off my face on some Funk Pills. It was a Wednes­day, which is just as good as any other day to par­take in some legal highs.

I decided to try Funk’s Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk) which are sup­posed to be the trippy ones from their line of party pills.

I took the first cap­sule around 3pm on an empty stom­ach, then sat back until the effects began. At around 4pm, just as I was start­ing to come up from the first one, I took a second.

The high was to be expected from some­thing BZP based – I started feel­ing up and happy and some­what euphoric. What I didn’t get was any over­whelm­ing psy­che­delic effects, just a slight sharp­en­ing of my vision.

I think that is my biggest gripe about some of these legal highs, they never deliver the trippy punch that I am seek­ing. As much as every­one wants them to be shroom replace­ments, they’re clearly not. I wish they were!

Shrooms were so much bet­ter than every­thing else you could buy legally, they were the best trippy drug I ever enjoyed. I wish they could come back!

The cur­rent incar­na­tion of legal highs are good, I’m not knock­ing them as I do enjoy the high they pro­duce, but they are dif­fer­ent from other ille­gal highs. While com­par­isons can be made between piper­azines and MDMA, they are very dis­tinc­tive drugs.

At about 6pm yes­ter­day, I took a third pill, which to be hon­est was a bit more than I needed. It was the usual story, I hadn’t come up enough from the first two, though by 6:15pm, I finally did but I was con­cerned I might have over­done it. I did, but only as a per­sonal preference.

The third pill I took was a “Big Grin” also from Funk Pills, which has a dif­fer­ent blend to the Twisted pills and con­se­quently dif­fer­ent effects. The com­bi­na­tion was very pleas­ant; I was quite deeply monged!

I cer­tainly pre­fer the “Big Grin” to the Twisted pills as the high is much more mind-numbing. Trust me, that’s a good thing.

I peaked around 9 or 10pm and by mid­night I was still buzzing. To aid in the come­down, I drank a Dutch hot cocoa (made with a dash of but­ter and some ground hash) and took a Valer­ian. By 2am, I was sound asleep.

Today, I feel some­what lethar­gic and hun­gover, which I don’t nor­mally expe­ri­ence, but I’m attribut­ing it to the increased dose and most likely I didn’t drink enough water; though it seemed like I did at the time. I’m sure I’ll be back to nor­mal by tomor­row, but this should explain the some­what sub­dued tone this entry has taken.

I need a few spliffs and another good night’s sleep and I’ll be right as rain.

Here’s a quick blast from me before I head off for yet another fun-filled night at work.

The Inde­pen­dent news­pa­per here in the UK pub­lished an inter­est­ing arti­cle about the cur­rent pop­u­lar­ity in legal highs. Well duh!

As an early adopter and exper­i­menter with the sub­stances they men­tion, fol­low­ing the ban on shrooms last sum­mer, I’ve been on the cut­ting edge of this stuff for ages!

But do they come to ask me for a com­ment on the world of legal highs?

Do they fuck!

I guess I’m just too expen­sive for them! This hippy don’t come cheap!

It doesn’t mat­ter, I’m still happy to bring you a link to their arti­cle. The main point that mat­tered to me is that the gov­ern­ment has said they see no rea­son to review the sta­tus of any sub­stance cur­rently avail­able. That’s cool.

They also men­tion my friends at EDIT, who really are at the cut­ting edge of the mar­ket. They were big shroom-sellers up until the ban and they were quick to realise that a mar­ket con­tin­ued for legal, recre­ational sub­stances and have brought many great prod­ucts to the UK market.

After this lit­tle run of nights, I’ve got some well-deserved time off. Besides wrap­ping up work on one of my non-hippy related projects, I’m going to be check­ing out some more new prod­ucts to review for you. I’m really look­ing for­ward to get­ting off my face all in the inter­ests of improv­ing your life!

What other north Lon­don based-hippy has done that for you lately?

And that title ain’t no lie, fuckers!

I’m high as a kite; I’m as high as the sky. I’m so high, so high, SO high!

I’ve been test-driving “The Big Grin” from Funk Pills and I’m dig­ging these lit­tle fuck­ers very much. I’ll be order­ing some more of them.

I took one pill around 12:30pm and was pleas­antly sur­prised that by 1:30pm, I was feel­ing some mild, yet pro­nounced effects.

Ini­tially, I found it slightly euphoric, with a sub­tle under­tow of being mon­ged. My vision became sharper as well.

I took a sec­ond dose around 2:30pm and now it is two hours after that. It’s much more euphoric, sen­sual and uplift­ing while being more com­fort­ably mon­ged. Colours are quite vibrant, my vision is razer sharp.

I like ‘em these ones good!

The nicest thing about them is they are not speedy at all; no rac­ing heart, no rest­less­ness. You could quite eas­ily watch a film or go out and talk utter crap to strangers for hours.

I had some com­ments from a long time hip­py­fan called Mesh­man which I thought I would share with you. Here’s his mes­sage to me:

“hello mr hippy, i often pop in here and check what you are up too — wasnt happy to hear about your pur­ple ohm exp, hope you were ok in the end , how­ever i was sur­prised at you for tak­ing more than rec­om­mended — you should know better !!!!

any­ways i felt it pru­dent to dis­pel the myth that you per­pet­u­ate re :- piper­azines. They are not an extract or deriv­a­tive of any nat­ural sub­stance — they dont occur in nature at all — in fact they are more related to Via­gra than Pep­per! Piper­azines are tra­di­tion­ally used to elim­i­nate Worm infec­tions in humans — yes WORMS !!

The orig­i­nal ‘made from pep­per‘ line was spun to help ease the pos­si­ble legal­ity / accep­tance of these com­pounds when they began appear­ing in NZ as a harm reduc­tion tool. They do have a resem­blance to piperi­dine which is a con­stituent of piper­ine which is found in the black pep­per plant, hence the link.

Some info here -

http://www.shaman-australis.com.au/Website/law/Piperazine/index.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piperazine

stay safe and always fol­low the instruc­tions on the pack !!!

- mesh­man”

He’s right on every­thing he’s said. Pay atten­tion kids!

On my ill-fated Pur­ple Ohm fest, which was back in Jan­u­ary, I did indeed exceed the stated dosage, which is why I had such a bad time on them. I have copped to this before, but I don’t know if I’ve ever tried to explain.

My only expe­ri­ence with piper­azines at that point was lim­ited to PEPs and it is very com­mon for peo­ple to exceed the dosage, if what you read in forums online is any­thing to go by. It was the same with other herbal highs I had pre­vi­ously tried; to get any­where you needed to take a lot.

Piper­azines aren’t nor­mal, herbal highs! They are strong and you should all fol­low meshman’s advice and learn from my mistake!

I am hav­ing real trou­ble form­ing coher­ent sen­tences at the moment. I’m not up to my usual game. I’m mon­ged and not complaining!

Even bet­ter, when my order from EDIT came yes­ter­day, it had an extra, free sam­ple pack of Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk). How cool is that?

I’m going to go back to being a sofa zom­bie on this fine Fri­day after­noon. I’ve just packed up my RooR mini steam­roller and I’m going to float away happy.
Don’t you all want me to be happy? Don’t you? Don’t you??

Hey ho hippyfans!

It’s a brand new month, but don’t worry, that means it’s still under war­ranty, so you can return it if you are not 100% satisfied!

I worked like a dog last month; that is if you know any dog­gies who put in some­thing like 200 hours of night­shift­ing in around three weeks! My guess is; you don’t.

Unless, you work on the bomb squad. With a snif­fer dog. And it’s been a very busy month for impro­vised devices.

And I bet you don’t do any of that either!

I spent last week as a semi-vegetable; one that required mas­sive amounts of sleep and soft drugs. I can’t say I did much more than kill time all last week, now this week I have to bury it.

It’s not that I didn’t have any­thing to do, for in truth I had loads I could have done. I have other projects ongo­ing of a cre­ative nature as well as one that is reach­ing fruition and will be shortly avail­able in print. Because of my lack of activ­ity, that’s now behind schedule.

I’ve also got this blog. Don’t tell me you couldn’t have done with a dose of the hippy last week?

You need a lit­tle hippy in your life everyday!

So I’ve got no excuses except I was tired. And I’m old and get­ting older, but I’ve more than cov­ered that sub­ject, so we’ll give it a miss today.

In terms of relax­ation and recre­ation, I revis­ited an old friend, Mr. Piperazine.

I took some PEP Twisted over the week­end and I must say that they are very enjoy­able. I think my unfor­tu­nate and com­pletely self-inflicted OD on Pur­ple Ohms put me off these par­tic­u­larly effec­tive legal highs a bit, but now I’m back and ready to party.

More than that, I’m ready to sam­ple some of the next generation!

There’s plenty of new pills on the mar­ket and my friends at EDIT seem to stock them all. They’ve added a few new ranges that I plan on try­ing soon; purely for research pur­poses, so I can come here and review them just for you!

You see, I’m still liv­ing that hippy life, so you don’t need to! Although you can if you want; I’m not stop­ping you. Your mort­gage is!

A few of these new pills have caught my eye. The next one’s on my list to try are called Speed­balls and they are unique in that they are a mix of BZP/TFMP blend plus and this is the inter­est­ing ingre­di­ent; kratom.

I’ve not tried Kratom before, so I am inter­ested in what these pills will do. I also ordered some 15xKratom extract, which I will be sam­pling soon as well.

The pills that really look inter­est­ing are a range of caps called Funk Pills. Funk Pills come in wide vari­ety, they are rumoured to be strong and effec­tive. Ini­tial reports so far have been very favourable. The two that I’m going to order next are Twisted (Psy­che­delic Funk) and the Big Grin, which you can check out for your­self if you really want to know about them. That’s why I spend all this extra time includ­ing all these extra-special hippylinks!

The last one that is on my list of fun things to do soon are from the orig­i­nal PEP peo­ple and they are called PEP X. They are sup­posed to be the strongest, most MDMA like pills avail­able, but they are so new that there is very lit­tle feed­back avail­able, so I will have to judge for myself.

All of these pills are in their third or fourth gen­er­a­tion. This means as they tin­ker with the ingre­di­ents and refine the ratios and such, they are becom­ing more effec­tive with fewer side effects. Good news for everyone!

You might be sur­prised to find that most, if not all of these pills con­tain vit­a­mins and other revi­tal­is­ing com­pounds to min­imise the poten­tial ill effects of the drugs in the mix.

If you want far more real-world infor­ma­tion than I could ever pro­vide you with myself, I would sug­gest you check out the Legal Highs forum on EDIT. There’s a wealth of info and expe­ri­ence avail­able and it always pays to do your home­work before play­ing around with any new sub­stance or drug. It’s good to learn from other’s mis­takes, so you don’t have to make them yourself.

I make a lot mis­takes, so you don’t have to!

Here’s a hippy hint: Drink a rea­son­able amount of fluid when you take piper­azines. They are a bit of a diuretic, which means you will piss a lot and that fluid needs to be replaced.

Here’s another hippy hint: Don’t choose booze as your fluid. Why? Because alco­hol dehy­drates you and so does piper­azine, and the com­bi­na­tion means you will end up with the nas­ti­est hang­over of your life the next day if you overindulge in liquor.

Now a lit­tle his­tory: These pills became pop­u­lar in New Zealand first, where the very sen­si­ble gov­ern­ment pro­motes them as “harm min­i­mal­i­sa­tion solu­tions” because they keep you away from street drugs. That’s no bad thing, because with street drugs you never know what you are going to get.

Or more fre­quently, not get as you won’t know until after you’ve spent you money and wasted a night wait­ing to come up on some pills you bought from some guy in some club, who told you they were super-duper strong E’s the best he ever had!

These are con­sis­tently made to the same stan­dard, kind of like Big Mac’s. You can walk into any McDon­alds, any­where in the world and order a Big Mac and it will be exactly like any other Big Mac you’ve ever had. Brand con­sis­tency or some other mar­ket­ing wank-speak.

Piper­azine is an extract of pep­per. Fuck knows what is in those pills you buy in a club! All the really cool kids have already fig­ured out that these legal highs are bet­ter, cheaper and more depend­able than street drugs. Isn’t it time you dis­cov­ered them too?

And now for the hippy dis­claimer: Although these drugs are legal, they are still drugs and should be treated as such. They are not candy, even if Pur­pleOhms are grape flavoured.

Be sen­si­ble, be smart and treat them with respect. All it’s going to take to piss all over our party (again) is some stu­pid kid tak­ing way too many of these legal pills and before you know it, a photo of the kid on life-support is in all the news­pa­pers and the kid’s par­ent start some lame action group to get them banned!

Just say no to reck­less abuse!

Always fol­low the instruc­tions on the pack­ag­ing and be respon­si­ble when you party. Don’t drive when you’re fucked up. Go some­place and dance your ass off instead!

Hey! There’s still time to win my bong! Click here for the details!

Hey hip­py­fans! How’s things?

Things are groovy here in my north Lon­don lair. I’ve had a few mel­low days, sort­ing out a few things here and there. Life is good.

I’ve popped by just to men­tion that there’s a big change to my web­site, which you may have noticed.

I now have advertising.

The com­pany I’ve cho­sen to adorn my blog is none-other than EveryoneDoesIt.Com, or EDIT as I often refer to them and as they do indeed refer to themselves.

EDIT is by far the best web retailer there is for all things legal and drug related. I’ve been shop­ping with them per­son­ally for nearly three years and I can only praise the qual­ity of their ser­vice and goods. I wish all the web­sites I shopped with were as together as EDIT.

But what exactly do they sell?

Pipes, bongs, bub­blers, seeds, a wide vari­ety of legal highs, spares, blunt wrap­pers, grinders, rolling papers, rolling machines, rolling trays, rolling sta­tions and of course, my new favourites, RooR glass­ware. If it is legal, fun and related to get­ting high, my friends at EDIT stock it.

So if you are going to shop with EDIT, why not do it through me? All you have to do is click on any of the links on this page and let EDIT do the rest. I promise you they are every bit as good as I say they are. And I should know, I’m prob­a­bly one of their best customers!

And if you do shop with EDIT, send me an email and let me know what you bought and how it all worked out for you!

One of you is really going to win my bong, but you can’t win it, if you don’t enter. Click here for all the details. It really could be *you*

Hey fuck­ers. I’m hav­ing one of those hip­py­days that make life worth liv­ing already!

I’ve been awake since 5am, lucky me. I went to bed around 11pm, so that’s 6 hours of qual­ity sleep. Ok, it’s not enough.

I’ve already watched the lat­est episode of the Sopra­nos, which is a pretty neat trick here in north Lon­don, con­sid­er­ing it’s get­ting it’s first run in Amer­ica on HBO right now. Why do I have to wait for Chan­nel Four to get their act together? I’ll watch it again when they show it any­way, so every­one wins!

I’m dig­ging it already and they’re only up to episode two. Rock on.

I’ve also been out to the superduper­mar­ket and it was a good trip. I was there and back in 45 min­utes and didn’t for­get a sin­gle item. Yipppeee to that!

I’ve also read all my usual news­pa­per sites and other assorted web­pages, checked all my email accounts and responded to the more press­ing ones. I’ve also done some web shop­ping, plac­ing an order with Ama­zon and EDIT.

Besides a few small, incon­se­quen­tial items, the two main things I pur­chased from EDIT are the following:

A RooR dif­fuser (for my Lit­tle Sista 5.0 Ice Master)

…and

SPICE!

The dif­fuser was planned all along, but to order one, I had to mea­sure the down­pipe that was shipped with the Lit­tle Sista, because each bong is unique and the lengths can vary. Hey ho!

Spice, appears to be a herbal smok­ing mix­ture that is sup­pose to smell and taste good as well as get you high! Sounds good to me; and appar­ently it also mixes very well with weed, so I could be on to a win­ner. It also costs the same as skunk, so I’m hop­ing the reviews I’ve seen means it lives up to the hype. I’ll find out tomorrow.

I always try to stay up to date and on the cut­ting edge of legal highs! Watch out for my per­sonal review of Spice, com­ing soon!
God, is this a dull-ass post­ing or what? I went shop­ping, I bought this, I wanked my cock down to a bloody stump!

OK, I made up that last one, just to see if you were pay­ing atten­tion. You are. Good.

See, here’s the thing. As “the biggest inter­net celebrity you’ve never heard of….but not for long”, I’m con­stantly check­ing my hit­counter to see if my online star­dom has arrived.

So far, it hasn’t.

That doesn’t stop me from check­ing, though. As “a mes­siah for the new mil­len­nium”, I know I need to get my words out to the masses in a big old way; and I know my time will come; and soon!

In the mean­time, I am chart­ing a rather steady increase in traf­fic to my site. There’s loads of new hip­py­fans join­ing you old timers every day. I can even see how many of you fuck­ers are book­mark­ing me and grab­bing the syn­di­ca­tion feeds and it warms this hippy’s heart to no end!

It’s not that I’m unpop­u­lar, or unknown, I pre­fer to see it as still remain­ing under­ground; so if you’ve made it here, well done you!

I love you hip­py­fans, I really do. That’s why I want to give you my old bong. For the hippy loveth you all so much that he doth giveth you his old acrylic old! Dig it fuckers!

So to my hip­py­fans, both old and new, thank you for vis­it­ing my page.

You’re part of the inter­net elite, a small, extremely intel­li­gent and sexy sub­group of inter­net users who have the good taste, com­mon sense and quite frankly, the over­whelm­ing cool required to fully appre­ci­ate what­ever it is I do here.

What is it I do here, again? Oh yeah, my spe­cial brand of drivel!

You are by far the best group of fans on the inter­net and though your num­bers may be few (and grow­ing rapidly), you all more than make up for it with your style, wit and joie de vivre!

So whether you are a first time vis­i­tor or a long time hip­py­fan, wel­come to my wild, weird and wacky world!

“I’ll make you laugh, I’ll make you think, I’ll make you wish you were a hippy too!” Or some­thing like that.

Go on fuck­ers, one of you can really win my bong! Click here to find out how right now!

Yo.

Yes, I’m back.

Two days in a row! It’s like all your xmas’s have come at once and Santa Claus is really Jesus and he’s tak­ing you to heaven to live with god for eter­nity and have noth­ing but oral sex all the time. Yee-fucking-haw!

Sad bas­tard that I am, I was dip­ping into my hip­p­yarchive for a trip down mem­ory lane. I wish it was a real trip, but the gov­ern­ment man took away my beloved magic mush­rooms last sum­mer, so now I ain’t got noth­ing psy­che­delic to savour and enjoy in the pri­vacy of my north Lon­don lair.

I know I harp on about this shroom ban, but I do for good rea­son! I really dug the lit­tle fuck­ers and I miss them very much!

Way back when shrooms were legal and the post­man was my dealer and he didn’t even know it; I used to indulge in this lit­tle pas­time once every week or so. It was good for me.

When shrooms were legal, they were cheap, easy to get, con­sis­tently potent and if used with intel­li­gence and knowl­edge, very safe. Safer than booze any day of the week, but don’t get me started on the legal drugs!

Yes, some peo­ple can go crazy if they abuse shrooms with­out the required infor­ma­tion and smarts. But some peo­ple go crazy anyway.

Scooobity bee boop!

How many peo­ple get beat up, robbed, killed, preg­nant, infected, you name it, because of a par­tic­u­larly heavy night in the pub?

Really! Don’t get me fuck­ing started!

When you put it into that con­text, the ban on shrooms seems even more ridiculous!

The rea­son I’m feel­ing so nos­tal­gic about my for­mer favourite legal sub­stance is two fold; firstly my 2nd anniver­sary of blog­ging is quickly approaching.

Fuck! Two years of spout­ing absolute rub­bish online and being ignored by the main­stream press, even though I am the one true genius of the 21st century!

Save the cel­e­bra­tions for another day. How about the day? Ok.

And sec­ondly, I was read­ing some of my early entries and damn if I didn’t wax lyri­cal end­lessly about my total enjoy­ment of magic mushrooms.

I miss my funny fun­gus! The mush­room god doesn’t visit me any­more! I’m a man with­out a reli­gion! Shouldn’t the Euro­pean Court of Human Rights be defend­ing my right to wor­ship in the man­ner of my own choosing?

Noth­ing else avail­able comes even close to the amaz­ingly pleas­ant plea­sure of being mon­ged to the gills on some fresh, potent shroomies! It was like a reli­gion to me.

Well, put it this way, it made me feel closer than ever to actu­ally hav­ing any faith in any­thing in the entire known and unknown universe.

And they took it all away from me, just because they felt like it! The fuck­ing cunts!

Grrrrrrr!

Gimme back my fresh and legal shrooms or I am going to hold my breath until I turn blue! Gimme! Gimmmeeeee!

Gim­m­m­m­m­meeeeeeeeeeeee! Now! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I’ll level with you…

I don’t actu­ally have a topic today. I’m just here because I have some time right now.

Does that make you feel neglected?

I’m sorry about that, but I’m in the mid­dle of a rather long and gru­elling run of work. Some­times life is like that, but come next month, my bank account will be laugh­ing and isn’t that the main thing?

It’s the usual sit­u­a­tion, I’ve spot­ted all sorts of inter­est­ing things to com­ment on; you know, give it the old skewed hippyspin.

But time has been a pre­cious com­mod­ity this week, espe­cially free time and its not over yet. I’ve still got more work at the end of the week; I’m only off for 2 glo­ri­ous nights and I’m going to make the most of them.

I’m not sure how just yet, but this hippy is quite resourceful.

So here I sit, in front of this blank com­puter screen, with noth­ing but a blink­ing cur­sor and the words above this sen­tence, star­ing back at me.

Hardly my strongest start!

Per­haps this lack of direc­tion is a god­send in dis­guise. A dis­tinct lack of direc­tion has cer­tainly served me well through­out my life, so it should work for a blog entry too.

Let’s jam, let’s riff, and let’s just see wher­ever the fuck my stream of con­scious­ness takes us. I expect we’ll end up some­place interesting.

Here’s some­thing you won’t know until I tell you: Between this para­graph and the pre­vi­ous one, nearly 3 hours have passed. Tricky, eh?

Mrs. H woke up and I stopped writ­ing to hang out with her as today is her day off. At least it should have been, but she got called into her office this after­noon unex­pect­edly. It was an over­time bonanza for a short day, so she said “yes”.

So what did I do for the three hours beside hang out with my missus?

I took drugs!

I’ve had a cou­ple of spliffs, a dope cake and I took a herbal pill.

Right now, it’s Wednes­day after­noon at 1pm, which I think is the per­fect time to get off your face. Well, it’s as good as any when you’ve only got 60 hours off!

The dope is some sort of com­mer­cial grade skunk and it’s most accept­able, if not par­tic­u­larly a gourmet strain and I’ve got loads of spliffs rolled and ready to go.

I baked the dopecakes last week, using a sim­ple store-bought Vic­to­ria sponge mix, some muf­fin cases and some yummy vanilla icing. Oh and don’t for­get the dope; 2 grams of the afore­men­tioned skunk and ½ a gram of my home­made hash, care­fully scraped from the bot­tom cham­ber of my grinder.

Besides tast­ing great, they came out extremely strong, but I expected that when I pre­pared them. I based the amount of dope on end­ing up with 24 indi­vid­ual cakes, but ended up with only 12, so they were twice as potent as I had planned. I wanted a sin­gle dose to be 2 cakes, but these moth­er­fuck­ers mon­ged you roy­ally with just one!

I haven’t cooked with cannabis in years, mainly because you need to use a rea­son­able amount of weed to make them effec­tive and that makes it pricey. It was a nice treat.

Eat­ing cannabis gives you a much dif­fer­ent high than smok­ing. It comes on slowly, and is harder to describe. The feel­ing is relaxed, care­free and chilled, from head to toe. It lasts a long time as well.

I ate 1 cake around 30 min­utes ago and I’m just start­ing to feel its effects. In another 30 min­utes or so, the feel­ings will be more intense and some peo­ple that eat­ing dope can be quite trippy. That’s never been the case with me, but every­one is different.

The other sub­stance I took is a legal one, called NXT PHASE EXPLODING HAPPINESS (Pur­ple) and I think it comes from Hol­land. I didn’t recog­nise many of the ingre­di­ents and was too lazy to Google them, I thought fuck it; they look cool.

Nintey min­utes after swal­low­ing one, the effects are very pleas­ant, relax­ing but up. I’m guess­ing they are a piper­azine blend, BZP, TMPP or some­thing like that, but I’m not sure.

The brand, NXT PHASE have a whole line of legal highs which might be worth explor­ing fur­ther. So far, I’m dig­ging these, but I think I’ll just stick to the one pill for now.

My last expe­ri­ence with any like this was around my birth­day, when I took way too many PURPLE OHMS. Since then I’ve read some trip reports, which said 2–3 pills, pro­duced a very strong trip. I took six. Oooops. Don’t try that at home, fuckers!

I know I have them a bit of a bad review when I last wrote about them, which is why I’m offer­ing this lit­tle update. I dou­bled the dose, which is a very silly and stu­pid thing to do. It’s hardly sur­pris­ing that I had a bad time with them, now that I am aware of this.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to try them again, but it is the rea­son why I haven’t played around with any legal pills in over a month.

The other rea­son I’m men­tion­ing this is because at the moment, the num­ber one search term that’s bring­ing peo­ple to my blog is “PURPLE OHMS”. For all of you out there in inter­net land, here’s my pre­vi­ous post on the sub­ject, which will save you from DIGGING IT OUT YOURSELF.

Ok, now it’s get­ting harder to con­cen­trate on what I’m writ­ing and my typ­ing is turn­ing to shit as well.

That means it’s time for me to wrap this up and post it while I still can. Thanks for putting up with me. Bye fuckers!