As much as I like to pretend I am perfection personified, the truth is I am a deeply flawed individual.

My life is literally littered with bad decisions and unfortunate choices, the results of which continue to dog my days on a daily basis.

It’s fine to reflect upon ones mistakes, as long as one is not mistaken into thinking that something can be done to rectify them. The choices you make can’t usually be undone and the consequences will be with you until the day you die and may even continue to effect others after you’re gone.

I’ve got no particular decisions in mind, this has more to do with a general overview than anything specific.

I don’t want you to think every choice I’ve made in my life has been wrong, I’ve made some good choices too, but lately I’ve been thinking about some of those moments in my life, where I zigged when perhaps I should have zagged.

It’s easy to second guess your own decisions after the fact, when the fullness of time and experience yield the missing pieces of the puzzle that weren’t available at the time of taking the decision. It’s also an exercise in futility.

Much of life is futile and pointless, so its not really enough of a reason not to think about these things.

There’s a theory that states every time a decision is made, the universe is split and alternative realities follow both paths and that all of existence consists of a “multi-verse” of infinite existence. Everything that can happen, does happen, just not in your reality.

Somewhere in the multi-verse, there’s a version of me that successful, happy and fully fulfilled. No doubt taller, too.

How’d I get stuck in this reality? If there really is a multi-verse, then in at least one of them (and possibly many more), I’m king of the planet and in charge of you all. Don’t worry, if there are infinite possibilities, then you get to be king or queen of the world yourself, and I get to be your slave.

Not all of the realities in the multi-verse would be sunny, as I expect there are plenty that don’t turn out as well. Think about it, how many realities exist without me? Perhaps in some, I was still born and never even got to take my first breath.

I know that even when my decisions have been wrong, they’ve been right for me at the time. I have to believe that, because I can’t travel back in time and change them. At least not yet, anyway, but give me another six months and my time machine will be up and running and I’ll be charging loads of dosh for rides to the past and future. Think you can afford it?

My many personality flaws, at least as I see them, colour my every move. I’m certainly my own worst enemy and I’m more responsible for holding myself back than anyone else.

I used to genuinely believe that anything is possible, but as I get older, I’m less convinced. As you get older, the corridor of options narrows and while you may still create the illusion of choice, your choices become more and more limited with each passing day.

I can’t remember where I heard this one, but it made a lot of sense: “You spend the first half of your life acquiring things and the second half having them all taken away from you.”

I’m undeniably in the 2nd half of my life. It’s not too much of a stretch to see where things are going for me. Its all downhill from here.

Can you tell that my birthday is approaching? It’s about 2 months away. Hey ho.

If I had the chance to do it all again, would I do things differently? Of course I would, what honest person wouldn’t?

That doesn’t mean I would do everything differently, but there are a few wrongs I would certainly put right.

It doesn’t matter because no one gets a second chance, except in the multi-verse reality where reincarnation happens and it was just my luck not to end up in that one either.

Socrates said “the unexamined life is not worth living”. If that is really true, then I have the most worthy life known to man.

Either that or my narcissistic tendencies are starting to overwhelm being an obsessive-compulsive sociopath with manic-depressive tendencies.

You have a nice day, too.

I don’t think anyone is going to be surprised that I’m hoping (and wishing and praying) that Barack Hussein Obama will be elected as the next President of the United States.

If the New York Times can endorse somebody, why can’t I? Here on the internet, we’re all equal, though I don’t make you register to get to the good content.

If you’re surprised by my endorsement, then you don’t really know me very well. I’m extremely liberal and not ashamed of it.

Being liberal is a good thing, it means you are open to progressive ideas and new ways of looking at things. Being liberal means I’m more interested in the happiness of people, then maintaining the status quo for the sake of it.

Many liberals have become afraid of the word and now call themselves progressives. You say tomato…

If gays can take back ownership of the word “queer”, then why can’t we reclaim the word “liberal”? Like gays, liberals have nothing to fear or be ashamed of and we should all come out of the brainy closet.

I’m liberal because I am smart. Smart people are liberal.

All you need to do is spend 10 minutes watching FoxNews and you will see what I mean. They don’t allow many people with liberal views on-air, they stick to their conservative agenda all the time. The overwhelming amount of stupidity that spews from the mouths of their presenters, guests and pundits will be more than enough to prove my point.

I watch FoxNews strictly for comedy value and if you added some canned laughter, you’d think you were watching a bad sitcom for dimwits.

Being liberal means not fearing change. “Change” can be a good thing and if America needs one good thing right now, it would be change. “Change we can believe in”, if you will.

Obama offers that change. As one of the most liberal members of the US senate, which is demonstrated by his voting record, Obama is offering America the chance to right the myriad of wrongs from the last 8 years.

Yes, I am talking to you George W. (for Whatever happens next week, he’s still history come January) Bush.

Obama has the ideas, intelligence and charisma to be a real game-changer. He can help restore America back to its former glory.

Maybe you’re not old enough to remember way back when, but people actually used to like America and I don’t just mean the shopping and the enormous portions in restaurants.

It’s kind of amazing if you consider how much real damage Georgie Bush junior has done to America’s reputation and standing in the world. Compared to Bush the lesser, even Richard M. Nixon seem like a decent guy.

Think back to 8 years ago, when Big Bill Clinton was running the show. The economy was in great shape, the federal government was debt free and had a huge surplus of cash, America was at war with nearly no one and Americans abroad didn’t have to pretend to be Canadian. These are all good things.

Eight years of the Republicans not only undid all the good that came from Clinton, they thought of loads of bad shit of their own to do, to drag America down even further.

Before you start thinking, “what does some twat in London know about America?”, I should, in the interest of full disclosure let you know that I spent around half of my life living in America, so I am in a position to justifiably comment on all things American. I continue to consume a lot of American media and I am always across everything in the news - it’s an occupational hazard/bonus (delete as appropriate).

I also get loads of American visitors to my site, obviously far more than from any other country, including the UK. On the internet, Americans outnumber everyone!

I like Americans and I actually like America too. At its heart America is good, kind and just country, populated by good, kind and just people. They can’t help it that their elected leaders are masters at manipulating the media by spoonfeeding them crap that the media is too stooopid to question.

In the aftermath of 9/11, your media failed you. Your government wrapped every press release in the stars and stripes and questioned the patriotism of any journalist who dared to question the official version of events. That’s especially true about the “war” in Iraq.

I’ve got some news for you, it was never really a war. It was an illegal invasion of a sovereign nation, justified with bold-faced lies. We were lied to, over and over, for no good reason.

The invasion was brief, the occupation seems endless. The geniuses in charge had no concrete plans on what to do once they arrived in Iraq. It was an unmitigated disaster and continues to be one.

I don’t know how many people died in Iraq, I’ve lost count. And for what?

Nothing at all. No good reason. No reason at all.

But what about the “surge”?

The surge is meaningless, extra troops haven’t calmed things down, cold hard cash is what’s done it. Again, your liars, I mean leaders are not only negotiating with “terrorists”, they are bribing them with large sums of cash not to stage attacks any more.

It’s a bit like giving the school bully your milk money in return for him not beating you up that day. It doesn’t make you tough, it makes you a wimp and a wuss.

Since when does America pay its enemies and groups labelled as terrorists not to attack?

Since a couple of years ago.

Can you imagine them writing a cheque to Osama Bin Laden in return for a promise not to plan another attack on America? To me, it sounds like it would be the next logical step from their unofficial “bribing the enemy policy” in Iraq.

The point is that the Republicans have fucked America over every which way from here to xmas and back again. Every day, in every way, they have done something to screw you all over and you’ve had to just lie there take it like a bitch.

Not any more. This time, you actually have a genuine choice to make between to polar opposites. That doesn’t happen very often, maybe once in a lifetime.

Like 1960, when the choice was between Nixon and JFK and probably not since.

You can choose between four more years of the same bullshit, or you can elect a man who will set America back on its true course.

Here’s another word you shouldn’t fear: Socialism.

In America, you’re taught, or rather indoctrinated into the capitalist system and told that socialism is just another word for communism and that’s just plain wrong.

The state should not exist to suppress and exploit you, it should act in such a way as to benefit all of the people, all of the time.

The state, your government should be there to protect you, and not just from imaginary enemies.

The state should be there to help you, as an individual as well as for the greater good of society. You don’t pay your taxes to be kept in your place, yet that’s what the state does, rather than encouraging you to flourish and realise your potential.

I’ll go with the classic example and its something I can comment on with authority because I’ve lived under both systems, private and nationalised health care.

You have excellent doctors and hospitals in America, some of the best in the world, yet your life expectancy is in decline. There’s a simple reason for that, some people are denied access to your fine doctors and hospitals purely on economic grounds. If you can’t pay the extortionate fees charged, then you have only one choice, to get sicker and die.

That’s wrong.

That is so wrong.

Healthcare should be a basic human right provided equally by the state. You shouldn’t be penalised for not having the dosh to stump up for treatment, if that lack of treatment results in your death or incapacity.

Here in the UK, where I’ve also spent around half of my life, I’ve been a patient of the NHS. The standard of the healthcare I’ve received has been first rate, though I’m not going to deny there have been some waiting times that have been longer than I’ve liked and to be fair that has improved dramatically of late.

I can ring my GP’s surgery, any weekday morning and get an appointment to see my GP that same day. My current GP, who I’ve seen for over a decade is excellent, I never feel rushed, he always takes the time to listen to me and he doesn’t hesitate to prescribe an expensive drug or test, if he thinks it is necessary. The flipside to this is that he is often running behind on his appointments and I usually have to wait to see him. A little bit of my time is a small (and only) price to pay for access to excellent health care.

This is what I don’t get about people who oppose any form of socialism; what’s wrong with helping others? Why should anyone resent anyone else receiving assistance from anyone, whether its a relative or a complete stranger or the government? Isn’t it a good thing to help others?

Isn’t that what Jesus would do?

When someone else is in pain, do you not have sympathy for them? Do you not have the empathy to even feel their pain? Does it not touch you, even slightly?

If you could feed all the hungry children in the world, would you? Regardless of the cost?

If you could cure all the sick people in the world, would you? Regardless of the cost?

I would.

Ninety percent of the wealth in this world is in the hands of 1% of the people.

That’s just fucked. You can’t justify that, no matter how hard you might try. It’s 100% fucked. Pardon my fucking French.

The redistribution of the wealth doesn’t mean the luxury police are going to come to your house and nick your flatscreen telly and give it to some random poor person.

The redistribution of wealth doesn’t mean we’ll have to dress like Chairman Mao, even if you think his uniform was fashionable.

All it means is poor people pay less tax, rich people who can afford it, pay more. That doesn’t sound so bad, does it?

Rich people spend any way, because they are rich and a slightly higher tax burden isn’t going to effect them very much.

Poor people paying less tax, means poor people (remember the 99% of the rest of us) will have more money to spend. Spending money fuels the economy, a fuelled economy can create jobs, new jobs means more people working, with more money in their pockets to spend, which further fuels the economy….

You get the idea.

Someone has to redress this horrible economic imbalance and that’s Barack Obama. He wants to do it, don’t you want him to do it?

As I sit here in my north London lair, exactly one week before election day, Obama is way ahead in the polls, but his victory is not assured. Every registered voter out there in internetland has to vote to insure he wins and wins big. Bill Clinton is right, Obama needs a huge mandate to affect the kind of change he has in mind and he needs to have the Democrats sweep the house and the senate too.

I’m also concerned that the bad guys will steal it from Obama, as they did to Al Gore in 2000 and probably Kerry in 2004 as well, at least in Ohio. Those electronic voting machines sound dodgy and I’ve read unconfirmed reports in the early electronic voting of ballots being “flipped” from Obama to that old guy with the forced smile and ident-i-kit wife.

If they steal it from the Democrats again this time, burn the place to the fucking ground! Let’s hope they don’t, as I don’t want to see any country in flames, but if they fuck around with this election, they deserve it. SWAT teams are allegedly already on standby for possible unrest, so this scenario is possible

Barack Hussein Obama is America’s best hope. Don’t let yourselves down, don’t let the world down. Please vote for him.

And for those of you that still might have reservations over Mr. Obama because of his race, shame on you. Obama is a remarkably intelligent and educated man and his race should not be a factor.

If you’re afraid to vote for him, because his skin colour differs from yours, please look deep into your heart and soul and finally see the truth about race - like most things in this world, it’s meaningless. We’re all the same on the inside, our hearts all beat, our lungs all breath the same air.

But if you really can’t look past his race, perhaps this little campaign jingle I wrote on Obama’s behalf might help.

(sung to the tune of Santogold’s “You’ll Find A Way”)

You know you wanna
You know you wanna
vote for Barack Obama
You know you wanna
You know you wanna
‘cause a white woman was his momma

It’s catchy, ain’t it?

Look, all joking aside, if you are registered to vote in the United States of America, I don’t just urge you to get out and vote, I implore you to vote for Obama.

If I’ve managed to sway just one undecided voter with this post, then I’ll feel like I’ve done my part, but I’d like to sway even more. If you know someone who’s wavering and you think I might be able to have a positive effect on their decision, please feel free to email this to them or send them a link to my site.

It’s not just Obama who’s counting on you, and not just your nation, but the entire world.

Please don’t let us down.

Why isn’t THIS WOMAN in charge of UK drug policy?

I’m talking about Lady Amanda Neidpath, the head of the Beckley Foundation, the group responsible for THIS REPORT which I wrote about recently.

Why are our elected official so afraid of the truth?

Why do we ignore experts on issues which are controversial? Certainly people with this sort of extensive knowledge and experience on any subject (including and especially drug use) should be embraced, as should their conclusions.

We don’t expect enough from our leaders, we should expect more. We should receive more too.

Let’s put Lady Neidpath in charge of the UK’s drug strategy. She’s already got my vote!

Back in 1992, it was the “economy, stupid”, but here in the future, its the stupid economy.

The economy is stupid because it has been built on credit, not actual assets. That’s stupid and its no wonder its tanking now.

The people running big business are stupid too, for letting things get to this unbelievable state.

But worst of all are the collective governments dumping tax money into private companies to bail them out. That, my friends is the wrong answer yet everyone is still wondering why the stock markets continue to drop.

Simple, investor confidence is non-existent. How could it be anything else, when governments are rewarding badly run firms with bailouts. That’s not how business works and investors won’t respect it.

CEOs and MDs are used to making difficult and painful decisions, that’s why they make the big bucks. They don’t hesitate to decide to cut 10 or 20% of their workforce, if it makes their companies more profitable in the longer term and screw the poor saps who lose their jobs. Life is tough. I don’t think this is a good thing, I just think it is a true thing.

So these tough, hard-assed managers are used to executing painful edicts for the good of their firms and they’re not accustom to throwing good money away. When a government throws good money away, it worries everyone.

That’s what all this bailout bullshit is, just plain throwing good money away. It’s not going to save any regular folks, its not going to prevent the stock market from plunging and in the long term, its not going to prevent any of these poorly run companies from going under.

Its not going to do anything except make things worse.

They should have let all of these poorly run, badly managed, shitty companies falter. Economic Darwinism and survival of the financially fittest would have been the sensible response. That would have probably resulted in the complete restructuring of the world’s economies into something sustainable and workable. Most of all, it would have sent the right message and let the captalist-pig world know that if you fuck up, you lose.

And then we wouldn’t all be fucked.

Except me, I’m not fucked. I’ve been gathering shells, beads and berries. I reckon I’ll be able to trade them for weed and junk food when the time comes. That’s all I really need to survive.

Don’t throw away all those bills and bank notes just yet, though, as they’ll still be useful as toilet paper.

Greetings and salutations. Hello. Welcome. Yes, I am still alive.

Well, I’m as alive as I can be, following my recent health troubles.

For the last 15 days I’ve been suffering with serious back trouble. I could barely walk for the first week or so, every step was pure agony. Sitting was agony too and laying down was impossible. I was well and truly fucked.

I’ve been seeing a chiropractor and I think he’s helped a lot. I’ve had countless adjustments, starting with a home visit because I couldn’t get to his office. I’m walking well now and have much less pain, I’m hoping to return to work later in the week.

This episode really freaked me out, I was practically crippled. I couldn’t even make it to the loo without assistance from Mrs. H, I couldn’t get dressed, prepare a meal, do any household chores. I couldn’t even sit at my desk and use my iMac, I couldn’t use my laptop for the first week or so. If it wasn’t for my iPhone, I would have been completely cut off from the world.

There’s a sense of panic and desperation that one is overcome with in these situations and I was no exception. As I sat upright on my sofa, for the fifth or sixth night, desperately trying to snatch an hour or two of light, unsatisfying sleep, dark and dangerous thoughts would bubble to the surface of my brain.

What if this is permanent?

What if this is the beginning of my slow, gradual health decline leading to my premature death.

What if I don’t get better?

What if the excruciating pain never ends?

What if….

I found myself having mini-panic attacks, hyperventilating slightly and relief not coming through the codeine or spliffs.

Though my back may be improving, I find myself filled with a lingering, nagging depression over my future.

Is this the beginning of the end?

They say that every second after your born, you are one second closer to death, so in the more general sense, the end has no beginning; or rather the beginning of the end, begins at the very beginning.

But that’s not what I mean. I just have this horrible, deep feeling that my best years are well and truly behind me. It’s probably true, as its undoubtedly true that I’ve lived more than half my life already as the chances of me even coming close to 90 are slim to none.

I’m feeling my mortality and I don’t like it. I feel like I’ve aged in the last fortnight, like my years have finally caught up with me. I don’t feel youthful, as I always have, instead I’ve felt like a decrepit old man.

The thought of a slow, painful slide towards death fills me with dread. I don’t want to suffer through a litany of minor and major health problems until one of them finally snuffs me out. That just sounds horrible!

I suppose death is very much on my mind because of the death of my cat a few weeks ago, which I witnessed firsthand in all its miserable, torturous glory. While her death was mercifully quick, she didn’t go gently into that goodnight.

Watching her contort and struggle against the hand of the grim reaper has had a profound effect on me, though I am still trying to decipher what exactly what effect it has had. I’d never actually been with any living creature, human or animal, at the point of death until her passing three weeks ago.

My younger brother, who is far more spiritual than I could ever hope to be, says I absorbed something from this experience, which manifested itself with my back trouble, or perhaps was this was the trigger for it. I can’t say I am convinced.

When the chiropractor was taking my background and history, one of his first questions was if I suffered any traumas recently; my cat died about a week before the real pain started, though I had soreness in my back a few days before it really hit me.

The chiropractor said that my back trouble was building up over time, that the inflammation had worsened to the point of spasms in my back muscles, causing acute pain.

Is this a coincidence of timing or definitive cause and effect? I couldn’t really say. You could convincingly put across either side of this argument and I just don’t know.

All of this has left me hating aging and mortality even more than before and I didn’t think that was possible. What’s a self-confessed sociopath and amateur narcissist to do?

Keep hoping that someone works out a way to download my brain into a computer after the death of my body, so I can continue to exist, in digital form. How else can I hope to keep posting drivel here throughout eternity?

My cat died suddenly yesterday. She was old and in decline for the last few months and I did know the end was nearing, but it was still a shock to have it happen like this.

One minute before she died, she was eating. I’d helped her to her dish in the kitchen and left her there, happily munching away and returned to the living room. All of the sudden, one of my other cats leapt with a start and I heard the sound of something falling over in the hallway. I thought it was just some post coming through the letter slot in the front door. I was wrong.

It was my cat, she’d fallen over with what I am fairly sure was a stroke. She was gone in about 2 minutes, but I was there with her.

She was around 16 years old, but its possible she could have been older. Mrs. H got her in 1994 as a fully grown cat, I knew her for over 11 years.

Before Mrs. H got her from the local shelter, she had been living in the local market, existing on scraps and hand-outs from the traders. She loved people food and if it was good enough to be on your plate, it was good enough for her - she’s eat anything, fruit, veg, meat, cheese, bread, you name it, though of course we mainly fed her cat food.

On Monday night, she had cheese from a pizza and licked the remnants of a bowl of chocolate ice cream, which was her absolute favourite.

I appreciate if you’re not a pet lover that this post is probably tedious reading for you. I am a pet lover, I’ve had dogs and cats my entire life. The relationships you have with your pets are some of the most honest relationships you can have.

My cat hadn’t been well for the last few months. She gone mostly blind, her appetite was decreasing and her back legs were getting weaker. I would be lying if I said I didn’t consider putting her down and my one real regret is that I didn’t trust my instincts. The day before she died I thought about it and even yesterday it crossed my mind more than once. I could have spared her a brief, yet horrible death.

Dying is horrible and witnessing my cat’s passing was distressing. While it was mercifully brief, my cat fought and struggled to her very last breath, but that’s what she was like. She was a fighter and didn’t take shit from anyone, not even Death, though in the end, Death always wins.

I spent the last couple of days talking to my cat, telling her how much I would miss her when she was gone. I really did sense that the end was extremely near. My other three cats were all distressed as well when she died and could sense something was very wrong. And even though I cleaned up the spot in the hallway where she passed, they are still sniffing around it. They know, even if they don’t understand.

Pets are part of your family, they have personalities and strong characters and are loyal and faithful companions, dogs and cats alike. When you lose one, it hurts and hurts deeply.

I can remember when I was a child and we lost a pet, my mother being so very distraught that she would always announce with great authority and finality, that this was the end and she would have no more pets, ever, because losing them is so painful. It’s not fair that they have such brief life spans!

I’ve lost 2 cats in the last year and it doesn’t get any easier. I’m lucky now, the three I have are all quite young and I hope it will be a good long time before I have to face losing any more.

I’m going to miss my sweet little girl so much, I already do now and she hasn’t even been gone 24 hours.

In truth, she was partly gone already, as I watched her health decline, especially over the last week or so. I know its a cliché, but she is at peace now. Every day was increasingly becoming a struggle for her. She doesn’t have to struggle any more.

I hate death. It sucks, but I think the dying part is the worst of all.

Check this out:

It’s over 6 minutes long, but I promise, it’s worth it.

Don’t have 6 minutes? Ok, you can read THIS VERSION in 2 mins, from the NY Times.

Personally, I think this is the first rational explanation I’ve ever heard on the nature of existence and it deserves a much wider audience. Please spread the word!

Now that you’ve read the NY Times article, or watched the video, read the title of this entry again.

Ok, who’s with me?

I have to say, I was more than a bit miffed at being excluded from the Observer Newspaper’s top 50 list of most powerful blogs. I guess this is just another mainstream media plot to keep my message from reaching a wider audience, but I will not be silenced!

And there’s always next year! Make sure you write your MP or congressperson and point out this horrible injustice.

Ah-hem.

The real reason I’m here is because the pope clearly must read my blog and he doesn’t like it and he doesn’t like me. Well, matey, the feeling is very mutual.

A while back, I confirmed the existence of my band, “the seven deadly sins” when I announced the upcoming release of my album. It seems the pope didn’t like this move and he’s trying to stifle my creativity by updating the 7 deadly sins for our modern age. I guess god has finally made an appearance in the 21st century and about time!

The new top seven sins according to the pope are as follows:

1) Environmental pollution
2) Genetic manipulation
3) Accumulating excessive wealth
4) Inflicting poverty
5) Drug trafficking and consumption
6) Morally debatable experiments
7) Violation of fundamental rights of human nature

Ok, there’s one on that list that wouldn’t be there, if it weren’t for his hatred of me and that’s number 5…drug consumption. The pope’s getting his revenge on me with that one, but it’s not the only one…

Genetic manipulation! My published work in recombinant DNA research is well known and I only missed out on a Nobel science prize because of some ill conceived public comments I made while drunk on power, fame and 151 proof Bacardi!

And yes, I’ve violated the rights of human nature, for according to the catholic church, that’s an easy one as its their definition of sodomy. Oh and before you think I am some sort of ass bandit, sodomy at its most basic definition includes oral-genital sexual contact. Guilty!

The pope is out to get me! He knows my liberal ideas and secular-humanist values threaten his existence as a silly old white man in a white dress!

But never mind him! What about my band?

The drummer, wrath, doesn’t want to change his stage name to “genetic manipulation” and sloth, who never makes it to rehearsals, would have to start showing up…

I’m sure glad I’m an atheist and I don’t believe in any of this nonsense. I mean, come on, eternal damnation? Give me a fucking break!

Sin is far too much fun, anyway. I don’t see anyone stopping, do you?

My easy month is finished now, it was really around 4 and 1/2 weeks of minimal work and maximum hippytime. So how’d I fare?

About as expected, I got most of the things I need to do completed, but there a a handful of significant goals yet to be accomplished. As we all know, there’s no such thing as “enough time”.

From tomorrow, I’m back on the treadmill; that hamster wheel that wage slaves everywhere understand. You gotta keep it spinning, no matter what.

For the next six weeks or so, I am bloody busy, then I have a gap to catch my breath. After that, its anybody’s guess, and I mean that quite literally.

No matter how much I try to get a bit ahead, it never works. With my erratic and unpredictable life, finding time to do simple things can be impossible.

You can only do, what you can do, and there’s no point worrying about it either way. Words to live by.

When I work lots, I fall into a rut, a routine existence of work, sleep and more work with precious little else in between. I become a robot; an automaton; I transform into a shift-machine. For me, that’s normal, but I’ve always been a closet work-aholic.

OK, there have been no closets involved. My hunger for work has never been a secret, I’ve always been keen.

My problem is I crave structure and parameters, I am sustained by being part of an organisation. When left to my own devices, while capable of sustained effort on a project, I struggle with motivating myself. I work better with clearly defined goals, deadlines and rewards, much like a lab rat learning a maze, knowing there’s a bit cheese awaiting me when I complete it.

I’m not getting enough cheese.

What’s worse, is I enjoy working on my own stuff, very much, but the distractions of daily life seem to be the main thing getting in the way. I should make an effort to work less, so I can work more on my own things.

Easier said than done.

Most things are.

Hey ho.

We all pretend we’re in control of our own lives and destinies, but its an illusion. Our programming and subconscious hold more sway over our behaviour than fate or free will. Free will is another one of those illusory ideas that we all subscribe to.

The American comedian, George Carlin once said something along the lines of “that today, freedom means being able to choose between Coke and Pepsi”.

Gosh, I’m suddenly thirsty!

The United Nations wants to jail Amy Winehouse. Oh, and Kate Moss too. They want to see celebrities punished more harshly for drug offences, to send a message to the rest of us.

What the fuck?

Don’t they have more important things to do at the United Nations? Like bringing about world peace, feeding the starving, solving climate change? I’d certainly put those three issues ahead of a few spoiled rich people enjoying a toot or two.

Do people really think that anyone takes drugs because celebrities do? You know, that Pete Doherty smokes crack, maybe I should too? He looks so good on it!

I’m not making this up, it’s in all the newspapers today and I’ve seen the story on TV too. What a waste of breath, print and airtime! My favourite version is in today’s SUN NEWSPAPER.

The UN is far too involved in global drug policy and the UN is effectively a global special interest group directed by the world’s most powerful nations.

People take drugs because they make them feel good, not because some celebrity enjoys them. No one should be punished for drug use, unless that use causes other problems. I’d have no issues with arresting someone on smack for running someone over with their car. If you’re high on H, you shouldn’t be driving, but if you’re high on H at home, it’s nobody’s business but your own!

If any one organisation should be advocating the full international legalisation of drugs, its the United Nations. They have the statistics, they know what a large part of the international economy the drug trade is and they know how it could benefit from sensible international controls. But will they? Will they, fuck!

No, the UN will remain a largely irrelevant body, unless you believe the conspiracy theories about black helicopters and world domination! Trust me, the United Nations could barely organise lunch for 6 people, I don’t think we have to worry about them trying to take over the planet, though if they did, at least we wouldn’t have to worry about career criminals like Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss roaming free!