Category Archives: Politics
The Problem(s) with British Medicinal Cannabis
by Doug – the northlondonhippy
This hippy opinion piece takes a deep dive into the dismal state of British Medicinal Cannabis.
The subject is divisive, and there’s bound to be an opinion in here that pisses off nearly everyone.
Introduction
Cannabis was legalised for medicinal use in the United Kingdom in 2018, under a ridiculously rigid, and poorly implemented regime for a substance that is quantifiably considered extremely safe. And it is all the medicinal users of cannabis, whether legally sourced, or reliant upon the legacy market, who have continued to pay the price for the mess that is legal cannabis in Britain today.
The general standard of the products legally available isn’t great, nor is their continued availability. And the customer service side of this industry is even worse, from the initial tidal wave of bureaucracy, to chasing your regular, monthly prescription renewals. It’s been a disaster.
Improvements are constantly promised, yet rarely ever seen, but the issues are even deeper, and more systemic than that. The entire set up is not fit for purpose, and needs to be overhauled from the ground up, using other country’s superior implementations as a guide.
The First Elephant in the Room
It seems ridiculous that I even have to point this out, as I rarely see it mentioned, but to me it is the biggest, dumbest accommodation made, in the entire British legal cannabis system. And the way everyone just rolled over on it, continues to boggle my mind. That accommodation is this:
Medicinal herbal cannabis has to be vaporised. This is a mandatory restriction, because if you smoke it, somehow it magically invalidates your prescription, and makes your consumption illegal. WTF?
Smoking cannabis is one of the oldest, and certainly most common forms of consumption in history. It may not be the most ideal, but certainly shouldn’t that decision remain with the consumer?
It’s fine if doctors want to endorse and encourage vaporisation as their preferred method for patients medicating. I own several vaporisers myself, and I love them. But at the end of the day, when I need to finally get some sleep, nothing hits me the same way as a neat joint (no tobacco) of pure Indica flower.
I’m sure some of you naughty legal prescription holders out there still skin-up on the QT as well, but the fact is that you shouldn’t need to hide your preference for combustion.
By all means recommend vapes, endorse them, subsidise them even, but don’t force them on everyone with some bizarre, performative, restrictive law. It makes a mockery of the entire system that is meant to legitimise the use of cannabis as an actual medication. Questioning, and denying the medicinal value of a perfectly valid method of consuming it, diminishes much of what you’re trying to achieve.
When the guidance, and the laws were being drafted, did anyone even put up a fight? There are plenty of people who were involved in this process, who knew better, yet rolled over anyway.
Cali Legal Weed
The US State of California legalised cannabis in 1996 for medicinal use. The system was really simple, and far superior to ours.
After an inexpensive visit to specialist doctor, who reviewed your medical history to see if you suffered from one of the many qualifying conditions that might benefit from cannabis, you were issued with a medical cannabis ID card. With that card, you could then visit your local, legal dispensary, where you could safely purchase your cannabis flower, from a knowledgeable bud tender, who had personally sampled every strain available, and could offer useful advice on your choices. You could even smell the aroma of the bud, before you buy, which is more crucial than you might realise when selecting the right strain for you.
Dispensaries popped up all over the state, and the sky didn’t fall in. In fact, the system was so successful, that 20 years later, they extended legalisation to include all adult usage, medicinal or not.
It’s not just California; more than half of all US states have now legalised weed. Many countries have relaxed their approach to cannabis, and many more are expected to follow in the near future. Sadly, Britain is not one of them.
British Legal Weed
To secure a legal prescription here in the United Kingdom, your only option at this point is to go private. The NHS still refuses to accept the undeniable benefits of medicinal cannabis use, but that is an argument best left for another day. I want to concentrate the system we have now.
As with going private for anything medical, private cannabis is expensive. There are consultation costs, prescription renewal costs (with some clinics), admin fees, delivery fees, and the cost of the actual medication itself. Oh. and don’t forget you need a proper herbal vaporiser, which is not an insignificant cost.
You need deep pockets, and for many, those pockets need to be even deeper than what they might spend for the equivalent from the legacy market. Or if they previously grew their own, it would cost exponentially more. Going legal ain’t cheap!
I don’t currently have a prescription, but I do have more than one qualifying condition, so I am eligible. And I do have a Cancard, but more on this a little later.
I monitor the state of our legal cannabis market via the many subreddits, and forums online dedicated to the subject. While I will acknowledge that people tend to post complaints in general, more than praise, the scales of the posts I see on medicinal cannabis tip heavily towards the negative. I’m sure there are some patients happy with the system, and if it works for you, that’s great. But I am even more certain, anecdotally anyway, that the majority are not happy, and would welcome significant improvements.
I tried to get a prescription a couple of years ago, but I lacked proof of the years of therapy I had when I lived in the states, as well as the psychiatric drugs I was force fed. Since then, I’ve been diagnosed with a rare, hard to treat form of epilepsy. And I’ve had seizures while taking lots of different pharmaceutical drugs, so I definitely have proof now I qualify, should I wish to pursue the legal route again. But for me to consider it again, the system would need that overhaul I mentioned.
Even the initial process can seem daunting to some, and quite frankly, that is because it is a huge bureaucratic mountain for many to climb.
You need to get a summary of your care, from your GP surgery. Not all surgeries are helpful. And you need to be able to prove that you have at least one qualifying condition, and that you’ve tried two prescription medications that failed to help with it. Plus if it is a mental health issue, you also need proof you have tried therapy as well.
And that’s just to qualify for the initial consultation, though to be fair, if you make this far, it seems most people are prescribed.
After your initial consultation, the real fun begins… Trying to get a hold of your medication of choice. Some clinics limit, or push you to products produced by their parent companies, and they all seem to want to push people towards oils first.
The clinic that prescribes you, then has to send your prescription to a dispensing pharmacy. Until recently, that prescription had to be on paper, but now it can be sent electronically. Either way, there will still be a delay in dispatch, assuming they have what was prescribed available, and in stock. And how many times you have to contact them all to chase it, when something goes wrong.
Most people have to try many strains before finding one that helps, as the doctors are not that knowledgeable about the products.
There’s an open secret regarding doctors who prescribe medicinal cannabis; they’re really only in it for the money, and very few have any useful knowledge of cannabis, beyond the 2 hour online training course available to be able to prescribe it.
Yes, you read that right. For a doctor to be able to prescribe cannabis privately, for a fee, all they need to do is follow some simple guidelines, and maybe complete a short online training course.
Don’t get me wrong, my personal view is that any doctor should be able to recommend cannabis in the same way they recommend aspirin. And you should be able to self-refer for cannabis, the same way you can purchase aspirin over the counter. Technically, cannabis is safer than aspirin.
Who would you rather have helping you choose a strain for your condition? A fully trained doctor who spent 2 hours studying cannabis, and cannabis based products online, or a bud tender, that’s tried every product they’re selling? I know whose endorsement would matter more to me, and I bet I’m not the only one.
Legal vs Legacy
In all of my 40+ years of consuming cannabis, I have never bought mouldy weed. I’ve never found insects in a bag of weed either, and I have hardly even seen a seed since the mid 1980s. And I’ve never had to wait 2-4 weeks for my medication. None of that is true for British medicinal cannabis. Everything I’ve mentioned has been an issue for patients at some point, especially the delays.
The legacy market has been efficiently providing quality products for decades, and continues to do so, all around the country. How it does that is yet another discussion, for another day.
The legacy market is unregulated, so it is obviously less than ideal, but it’s still a business, reliant upon repeat custom. Selling quality products insures punters come back, again and again.
From my perspective, the legacy market still remains superior to our legal prescription market. The quality, and standard of products is consistent for me, the prices have remained steady for years, and the customer service has always been first rate.
The legal market is stressful. The medicinal cannabis subreddits are full of people going through all sorts of unnecessary drama to receive their medication, if they receive it at all.
Delays aren’t just common, they are expected, as is having your first (or second, or third) choice of medication unexpectedly unavailable for weeks, without explanation. And then when it does come back into stock, there’s a rush on it, and they quickly run out again.
And if the random availability wasn’t bad enough, the products themselves can vary. One batch of your favourite strain could hit just right, and then the next prescription for the same strain, does nothing for you. There is no consistency, and much of what is sold, is very dried out, lacking any aroma, or terpenes.
Whether you source it from the legacy, or legal markets, there is a superior third option for sourcing, but you’re not allowed to use it.
The Second Elephant in the Room
In many places, where cannabis is legal, growing your own at home is permitted. This is a no-brainer, as patients can produce their own high quality medication at home, much cheaper than they can buy it from either the legal, or the legacy market.
Growing quality bud is a skill, but it is one that most people can master given the time, especially if they’re motivated. And who would be more motivated than someone suffering medically, who wants to keep their costs down, during a global financial crisis!?
Growing your own should be at the very heart of our drug laws, especially medicinally. It should be a cornerstone of the policy, instead of leaving greedy corporations to produce substandard products. As far as elephants and rooms go, I’d say this is a massive one.
To sort of paraphrase Moses, “Let my people GROW!”
One Last Room, One Last Elephant
Medicinal cannabis is a divisive subject, but it is especially divisive within itself. The amount of bickering I see within the cannabis community is depressing.
Don’t we all want the same thing? We don’t want to see anyone arrested for possession, whether they have a prescription or not. We all want cannabis use to be seen as the positive, life enriching thing that it is, don’t we? We want it legal for all.
Having a prescription is meant to shield you from arrest, but it doesn’t, as there have been reports from all around the country of legal patients running into trouble with the law. That shouldn’t happen. Many people get prescriptions just to remain within the law, but what’s the point when the law doesn’t care?
Prescription or not, people should not be arrested for the possession of any drug. It’s not difficult. We’re all meant to be on the same side. Which is why I am even more confused by the hate for Cancard.
Cancard is a scheme set up by another medicinal cannabis user who avoided a conviction in court by using a medicinal cannabis defence. This victory means everyone who uses cannabis, can use the same defence. Joining the card scheme means you qualify for a prescription, whether you have one, or not.
The patient’s name is Carly Barton, and a few years ago, she decided to stop using the legal cannabis market, and to grow her own instead. Good luck to her, she’s a trailblazer!
I have a Cancard myself, and have been a member of the scheme for several years. They offer police training, and in some parts of the country, that training has helped people like me avoid legal hassles, and in some cases, even keep their medication.
Sadly, much like a legal prescription, there’s no guarantee a Cancard will prevent arrest, or prosecution. It will however, most certainly be a mitigating factor at some point. And that should result in an “NFA”, as in no further action will be taken, since a successful prosecution is unlikely, because of the medical defence.
I don’t understand all the hate. Carly, and Cancard just want to prevent arrests, and have done in many cases. A legal prescription is meant to prevent arrest, and confiscation as well, but that doesn’t always work either.
Can’t we all agree that NO ONE should be arrested, regardless of where they source their medication?
And that’s the final elephant, in the final room.
When the UK government legalised cannabis, even privately, that was a tacit admission that cannabis is medicinally beneficial. No ifs, ands, or buts, about it.
Cannabis is cannabis, whether you grow your own, source it legally, or from the legacy market. If it keeps you healthy, and alive, that is all that matters.
If these were your only two choices, which would you prefer? Would you rather be illegally alive, or legally dead? I’ve already made my choice. I’m still here.
I’m actively trying not to die from a potentially fatal form of epilepsy, among other long term physical, and mental health maladies. If you take away my special private medication, and I croak, that shit is 100% on you. I’m still here because of weed. Lots of us are.
Why can’t we be more like California, and have an actual grown-up, functional, beneficial medicinal cannabis system that’s affordable?
Why are our politicians from both main parties, so out of step with the electorate, the medical community, and the rest of the world on the simple subject of cannabis?
Why do we let our rabidly rightwing media dictate our health policy? That’s the real issue, but there isn’t a room big enough to contain that particular pachyderm.
It’s your body, it’s my body. We all have the innate right to make our own significant health choices that we know benefit us. I know you know this already, but how do we convince everyone else? It shouldn’t be as hard as it has been, and continues to be. But I’m not giving up the fight, I’m still preaching the good word, till my very last breath. And I’m still breathing.
***
After a 30 year career as a journalist, working for some of the largest news organisations in the world, including Associated Press and Reuters, and 15 years as a duty news editor for BBC News, Doug – the northlondonhippy is now a full time hippy, and writer. And for the last few years, he’s been #EpilepsyHippy. His life was a whole lot more fun before gaining that new title. For real.
Doug is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy.”
“Personal Use” chronicles Doug’s years of experience with mind altering substances, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry, and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
You can also find Doug – the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.
And if you want even more, (and who wouldn’t?) you could always check out Hippy Highlights – which is the best of the best stuff on the site, and it’s all free to read. What are you waiting for?
Recreational Use is a Myth
By Doug – the northlondonhippy
The hippy has been giving this a lot of thought, and recreational use of any drug is a myth. You’ll soon agree.
The first drug I ever properly used was alcohol. I started drinking at the age of 13, and I stopped at age 39. Drinking was a social experience, right from the start.
Most people have some level of social anxiety. We don’t like to admit it, but the popularity of alcohol at social events, gives the game away. Alcohol makes it possible for people to be around other people for extended periods of time. It makes us gregarious, maybe even a little giggly too.
Could you imagine a night down the pub, or in a club, or even a dinner party, without social lubrication of some sort?
If booze ain’t your bag, perhaps you like cannabis? Or cocaine? Maybe you’re one of those sober types, who’s just naturally friendly and happy. Lucky you!
For most people, drug use, alcohol, or otherwise, is a social experience. We do it in groups, we do it to be social.
Now, imagine someone who drinks alone. I don’t have to imagine, as after 26 years of regular, social drinking, I hit a rough patch in life, and for 6 months in 2002, I drank alone daily. Snorted coke too, and mixed in the odd MDMA tab as well. I was not having a good time, I was using it all to escape a bad one.
I was abusing booze, and drugs, and to me that makes my use medicinal. I was using it to lift my mood, and briefly escape my troubles. This use was negative; it wasn’t good for me in the long term. My use wasn’t social, and it certainly wasn’t recreational either. It may not have been the most healthy of self medication, but I was definitely self medicating.
I was lucky. I realised the hole I was in, and quickly, and quietly climbed my way out, all on my own. I realised what I was doing wasn’t in my best long term interests, so I gave up booze completely. Cocaine too. One day, I just stopped. I haven’t had either in over 20 years. It’s not some moral victory, it was a health choice for me, and one I was glad I made.
Recreational drug use is a myth, meant to make you feel shameful guilt about indulging.
After thinking about this for a very long time, I’ve reached the conclusion that all drug use (including alcohol) is either social, or medicinal, once you accept that all medicinal use isn’t always beneficial, or positive.
When I first started smoking weed, it was within a social group. We all got high together. And then I bought a bag of weed for myself. I sparked up a joint on my own for the first time, and realised it made me feel better, physically, and mentally. Without it being explained to me, I naturally worked out how to self-medicate with cannabis. I didn’t realise it at the time; it took many years to truly comprehend that I was self-medicating.
I’ve smoked cannabis for over 40 years, and I can’t recall the last time I had some recreationally. I use it to feel better, to reduce my anxiety, and my depression, and have done since I started. I take enough to take the edge off, to allow me to function like a normal person.
I couldn’t have lived my life the way I have, worked all the jobs I’ve done, or even traveled to war zones, without the medicinal benefits of regular, daily cannabis use.
I’m old now, and I take a load of prescribed pharmaceuticals every day. I don’t view cannabis any differently from the 10 prescription tablets I take daily. They all play their part in keeping me alive. Matter of fact, cannabis helps me with the side effects from the other medications I take, and I probably couldn’t tolerate them all without it.
The school of thought on psychedelics has evolved. People are understanding that their use is far more medicinal than it is recreational. You can do a lot of good for your mental health through the smart use of psychedelics.
When I went through my shroom phase, back in the early oughts, I think I had the best mental health of my life. There was a loophole in UK law for a few years, that saw actual fresh magic mushrooms legally available to purchase online, and in Camden Market. It was a sad day, when the government sealed that loophole, and the sales ceased.
Shrooms helped lift my chronic depression, and pulled me out of a different hole in 2003. I was able to get my life back on track, and I kept it there until epilepsy decided to take over 15 years later.
And even with the epilepsy, my cannabis use has helped mitigate it somewhat. I know cannabis could be even more beneficial, if I could get the right balance of cannabinoids into my system consistently. I wish the NHS prescribed it.
If someone goes home every night after work, and downs a bottle or two of wine on their own, or even with their partner, that use is not social, is it? It’s medicinal. Alcohol dependency is real. And it’s a medical issue, not a moral one.
Alcohol withdrawal is also real, and it is just as bad as coming off heroin. Alcohol can be lethal too, and has contributed to the deaths of more people that I’ve known over the years, than every other drug combined. It’s legal status obscures these facts.
Drop an E at a club? Medicinal. You’re doing it to expand your consciousness. Drop it with a group, it’s social too. Sometimes, it can be both. They’re not mutually exclusive.
Shooting smack in a back alley? Does that sound like fun? Does it sound recreational? Of course not! It’s definitely medicinal, and whatever you’re trying to escape from, I hope it helps you. Is it ideal? No, not even close. That’s why many good people want to open supervised injection facilities. Medicinal again. Open them everywhere!
Addiction and dependency are medical issues. Tobacco, heroin, cocaine, and alcohol are all physically addictive.
I’m dependent upon cannabis, the same way I’m dependent upon my epilepsy medication, or blood pressure medication to keep me alive. I couldn’t live without any of them. It’s all medicinal use.
Whatever your drug of choice, if you share the experience with a group, your use is social. If you use it on your own, or with a close partner, your use is medicinal, whether it is beneficial or not.
Recreational drug use is a myth, and it’s used to guilt, shame, and punish us. Don’t fall for it. As if enjoyment of something should lessen it’s significance, or usefulness. Your use is either social, or medicinal. There is no in-between, and there should be no guilt, ever. Just be as healthy as you can, for as long as you can, no matter what you have to take to get by in this life.
* **
After a 30 year career as a journalist, working for some of the largest news organisations in the world, including Associated Press and Reuters, and 15 years as a duty news editor for BBC News, Doug – the northlondonhippy is now a full time hippy, and writer. And for the last few years, he’s been #EpilepsyHippy. His life was a whole lot more fun before gaining that new title. For real.
Doug is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy.”
“Personal Use” chronicles Doug’s years of experience with mind altering substances, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry, and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
You can also find Doug – the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.
And if you want even more, (and who wouldn’t?) you could always check out Hippy Highlights – which is the best of the best stuff on the site, and it’s all free to read. What are you waiting for?
Humans
Written by Doug – the northlondonhippy
Are you from Earth? Me too! In a universe as vast, and enormous as ours, isn’t it amazing that we both live on the same planet? We’re practically related! What are the chances? A gazillion to one? I’m not sure, I’m not very good with maths.
Do you breathe air? I do too. Eat food, drink liquids? OMG, we are so much alike! Have you ever heard music? It’s great, isn’t it?
Humans. We are a funny little species. I really can’t work us out. Most of us are nice, but some of us aren’t. We all have more in common, than we have differences, but most of the time you wouldn’t know it.
Humans come in all shapes, and sizes too. Some are short, some are tall, some are young, and some are old. And don’t get me started on all the colours we come in! You’ll get fewer choices at a new car dealership, than you will with the shades of humanity. We’re quite diverse, and different for a species that at its core is really all the same.
And we are all the same, we just pretend we’re different. Humans have different tastes in many different things, and that’s often used to divide us. It shouldn’t.
All Earth culture is human culture; that means all human culture is your culture if you want it to be. You’re a human. It’s up to you whether you embrace it or not. It’s not appropriation; it is sharing, if you can accept that we are all the same. And we are. Your heart beats the same way mine does.
Is your god better than my god? Maybe there is no god? Who knows? If you find solace, and hope in your religion, good for you! And if you find your solace by shunning religion, good for you too! We can all believe different things, as long as we believe in each other.
When the space aliens invade in a science fiction film, they never announce themselves as coming from a country on another planet, just the planet. We accept that any advanced alien race that could visit us, that’s able to traverse vast galactic distances, would come from a unified planet. We don’t question it. Yet, the idea of our planet united, terrifies many. Why?
Our future rests with global cooperation, and not the foolish competition of countries. Borders are man-made, but so is cooperation. If we want our species to continue, we need to sort this out. Every single one of us has just as much right to be here, as anyone else.
We all deserve pure air to breathe, clean water to drink, a safe, stable food supply, and a warm place to sleep. But for some reason that is beyond my comprehension, many of us don’t have the luxury of such basic amenities. I could throw a bunch of statistics at you, but you don’t need them. You know what I say is true. Maybe you see evidence of it yourself on the cold, mean streets where you live.
It doesn’t matter where in the world you are, if you don’t have the basics, then you don’t have much of a life. Chances are if you are reading these words, you do have the basics, and maybe even a little more. Good for you! There are many others who aren’t as fortunate as you. Or me. How can we help?
Having compassion for your fellow humans is a good start. Individual humans are sometimes bad, but for the most part, we’re a pretty good species. Kindness goes a long way. And the cool thing about kindness is that it doesn’t cost a penny. Kindness is free, and even if you give it away, you still have more in reserves. It never runs out, if you believe.
Every human struggles. No one likes to admit this, but the fact is that life is hard for all of us. We pretend that it’s not, but it is. It’s not weakness to admit this; honesty projects strength.
We may not remember it, and that’s probably a blessing, but each of our births was a traumatic experience. Life begins with pain, fear, and trauma, and that’s before you even open your eyes.
From the moment you’re born, you’re expected to navigate a world that doesn’t make sense. And you’re expected to eventually provide for yourself, and find purpose. Many of us struggle with that, some succeed, and others fail. We all do the best we can, but circumstance is often an impediment.
Luck plays too big a part in existence. And we all just accept it, as if there is no way we could change the system, and make it fairer. The problem is that the people who get the most from the system, are the ones who could change it, and they don’t want to share. We should take that power away from them. There’s a lot more of us, then there are of them. But we don’t. Humans in numbers don’t appreciate their power, or value.
Time is running out. You might not believe that, but it is true. Our Sun will start to die in 5 billion years. Our entire universe will suffer heat death in 1.7 x 10 to the 106th power years, which is just a meaninglessly huge number. Ultimately time is finite.
Let’s use some smaller numbers that we can comprehend. Our biosphere could be lost within a decade or so. That got your attention. I wouldn’t want to make a firm prediction, but it will happen sooner than you think. It really is possible that Earth could become inhospitable to all living things within your relatively brief lifespan. That’s not an exaggeration. It might already be too late for us humans.
Life is finite, existence is too. We need to make the best of whatever time we have left, as individuals, and as a species. We can’t save everyone, but we might be able to save some of us. I’d like to see humans stick around for a good long time. If we get our collective act together, we might be able to continue to exist. There still may be hope. We just need to act fast; a lot faster than we are now.
Embrace your humanity, embrace other humans too. Don’t believe those who try to deceive you into believing we are different, because we’re not. We all want, and need the same things. We all need to be fed, clothed, and loved. Love thy neighbour. Didn’t some really famous hippy guy say that a couple of thousand years ago? Those words still ring true today.
Humans. We’re a weird little species. Maybe you can’t work us out either, but it sure is fun trying.
The End
(All words © Copyright 2023 – Doug – the northlondonhippy. All rights reserved)
Ohh, yes, this train carries saints and sinners
This train carries losers and winners
This train carries whores and gamblers
This train carries lost souls
I said, this train carries broken-hearted
This train, thieves and sweet souls departed
This train carries fools and kings
This train, all aboard
– Lyrics from “Land of Hope and Dreams” by Bruce Springsteen
Countdown to the End of the World!
If you follow me on Twitter, you might already know that I turned 60 in January. It’s true. I’m an old mofo now. Go me! You might also know that I’ve spent the last few years learning to live with epilepsy. I ended up giving up my old job due to the slow onset of it. It sucks, but I’m doing the best that I can. Hey ho.
I wrote a proposal for this podcast last Autumn, and not long after I finished it, and while I was writing about my “epilepsy journey”, I had a brand new seizure. It was 4 days before I was about to mark being seizure-free for an entire year. Talk about less than ideal timing. Anyway, I got sidetracked, and this post is my effort to get back on track. It’s also my birthday present to myself. I am going to pitch my podcast online, and see if anyone wants to commission it.
You’ve no doubt spotted my holding graphic at the beginning of this post. It should give you a rough idea of what “Countdown to the End of the World – A lighthearted look at our looming apocalypse” is all about. I’ve been an “amateur doomer” for a while now, and it’s time I turned pro.
Why am I pitching this online, rather than trying to do it directly with broadcasters, or production companies? Good question. Mainly, because I’m clueless, and I lack the sort of shameless self-confidence that is required to cold call people. I’m also really honest, and I overshare a bit. See, I just did it again.
I’m actually just posting a part of the proposal, this is an edited version for online consumption. Anyone serious, and interested in pursuing this further, will receive the full proposal, along with the opportunity to meet with me (online or IRL) to discuss this further.
Why can’t I just produce this podcast myself? Technically, I could. I have all the production kit I need, but what I lack is production staff, promotional staff, and more importantly, a brand name to operate under. I need the backing of an established entity to attract the calibre of guests I have in mind. Simple as that. I want to do the subject justice, and I don’t think I can working on my own.
Enough pre-amble. Here’s a very short audio promo. If you like it, the proposal follows. I obviously don’t have the rights to the music, but it’s totally not for broadcast. Please have a listen:
The idea is simple, people love disaster films, they love end of the world movies even more. But now that we’re all co-starring in an actual disaster film, why aren’t people more interested? I get that the pacing is slow, but the disaster is still coming, whether we ignore it, or not.
To hammer this point home, Countdown won’t be listed in the “news” category of podcasts, but the “entertainment” section. That’s intentional. The end of the world has been used as the basis for entertainment since forever, just read the Bible. Why can’t we do the same with our own looming apocalypse? I say, we can.
Even if you follow the news, you are probably still ignoring the enormity of our problems. It’s a coping mechanism, I get that. My biggest concern with this idea, is that it will be overtaken by events, and life as we know it may cease, before I can put out the first episode. I need to get my skates on, if I’m really going to do this!
Still with me? Here’s the proposal. You can click on it, and scroll through it here, or download the PDF.
So what do you reckon? Would you listen to it? Would you subscribe? I have the first two series mapped out, 10 episodes each. I’m ready to start working on it now. Are you a commissioner? Know anyone who is? Can you help? You can find me online, contact me for more info. And thanks for reading this.
- Doug – the northlondonhippy / Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
OK, Doomer!
by Doug – the northlondonhippy
Even with urgent action, the climate apocalypse is a threat to all life on Earth, but you probably don’t want to think about it.
The most recent IPCC report on the climate crisis is a sobering read, but even more so when you understand that nearly every prediction you have ever read regarding our future climate has been underestimated, or downplayed by the scientists who authored them. This is a hidden feature in climate research, the need for researchers to tone everything down, for an audience that remains in deep denial over what’s coming, that will all be arriving faster than expected.
“Faster than expected” is a catchphrase in climate crisis circles. Whenever real world evidence is compared to a previous prediction, whatever the worst outcome is happening “faster than expected”. It doesn’t matter what the specific subject is, it could be the melting of sea ice at the poles, it could be the continued rise in greenhouse gases, it’s all happening faster than expected.
I’ve been reading about all this for a long time, I’m what can be described as “collapse-aware”. My eyes are open to all the evidence, and I am not in denial. I can see the direction of travel for society, and the planet. It’s not good.
Being “collapse aware” is more than just having a handle on the climate crisis, our society has a lot of moving parts, and none of them seem well- oiled at the moment. From the pandemic, to the cost of living crisis, to the war in Ukraine, it feels like everything is in some sort of death spiral, but looming largest over all of it, is our rapidly warming planet.
Even if we ceased all carbon production, by putting an end to all fossil fuel usage today, right now, there are still enough greenhouse gases in the atmosphere to ensure we exceed our stated limit of 1.5 degrees Celsius rise of global temperatures. We are already approaching that limit, we may even exceed it this year, and we are seeing climate impacts caused by it, all around the world. But what happens if we do exceed 1.5 degrees? Then the feedback loops begin, and everything else becomes “faster than expected’ too, but at an exponential rate. That’s where we are headed.
There are some really scary predictions out there, from reputable scientists, if you can be bothered to seek them out. The end of civilisation? The extinction of all human life? All by the end of the century? Yes, I have read predictions that state each of those things as extremely possible, if we don’t take urgent action immediately.
We are not going to take urgent action. If we were going to do that, we would have done it by now. We have known about global warming, and climate change, for many decades, and yet we have done nothing of substance to address them. We have prioritised short term profits, over long term sustainability. We won’t stop until we have extracted every last drop of fossil fuel from the planet, unless our extinction comes first. It probably will.
Maybe you’ve seen the Adam McKay film, “Don’t Look Up” on Netflix. If you haven’t, I highly recommend it. I don’t want to spoil it for you, but the meteor in the movie, is a metaphor for climate change. And by the time the public finally looks up, and really sees the impending doom approaching, it is already too late. This is where we are now.
I wish I could offer you more hope, but we are well past that point now. Even with the will, and determination to turn things around, it still is probably already too late. We lack the will, and determination, we’re hardly even paying attention, as we sleepwalk towards extinction. There may be no genuine hope, but there is plenty of “hopium”.
One of the cornerstones of our plan to prevent the climate apocalypse is something called carbon capture. It doesn’t actually exist at scale yet, but much of our hopium is based on imaginary technology, and future discoveries. Sure, it might actually work, but it hasn’t so far, and many are convinced it never will.
We’re told to take personal responsibility, recycle, take shorter showers, you already know this. What they always fail to mention is that around 71% of all greenhouse gas emissions come, not from the general population, but from around 100 companies. Compared to that, the length of our hot showers, is meaningless. It’s not about personal responsibility, but our collective responsibility. We are all failing.
Many climate scientists are depressed, and despairing, it’s not just me. People far more knowledgeable than myself, are doomers too. We can’t help it, our eyes are wide open, and we can’t ignore it any longer. Even if we take the most urgent actions imaginable, it may already be too late. Open your eyes, you’ll see it too, even though I know you would prefer not to see it. Once you’re collapse aware, it’s hard to see anything else.
Doug – the northlondonhippy is a writer, and journalist (lapsed), with over 30 years of experience in the media. He spent the 2nd half his career as a duty editor for BBC News, before that he worked for AP, and Reuters, but he got his start in the industry at MTV – Music Television in NYC, in the mid 80s. He is also the author of “Personal Use by the northlondonhippy”. Doug tweets as @nthlondonhippy
I’m a full time hippy now
It might not seem like it, just yet, but I am now a full time hippy. Yay! The countdown clock has ticked down and for the first time in a decade and a half, I am now unemployed.
I spent the last 30 years working as a journalist, mixed media really, but mostly TV news. The last 15 years was for the same company. It’s one you’ve heard of. but I’m not revealing it, yet. I’m not revealing much of anything, now. I’m still waiting for my final pay cheque. Once that’s banked, then I can pull back the curtain. I’m crazy, but I’m not stupid.
I will be publishing a piece in the next couple of weeks, which reveals my identity. Somewhat.
Spoiler alert: You will get my first name, and you will find out where I used to work. I’m still a nobody, my name won’t make a difference. I will still be the northlondonhippy, but I want to claim my real-life identity publicly, anyway. I have wanted to do this for a long time.
There will be a companion piece, which lays out my goals in my new role as the UK first self-proclaimed, cannabis evangelist. It’s not a crowded field, but I still want to make my mark. Hallelujah and amen to that!
Now that I have the freedom to operate a bit more openly, I want to spend the next few weeks getting some advice, I want to contact some people I admire who fight to reform our drug laws, plus some campaigners in other fields, and some media folk too. I want whatever I end up doing to have some impact.
When I wrote and published “Personal Use”, I had no expectations. It was a fun, secret side project. I used to joke if I sold a million copies, I would quit my job and be a full time hippy. I haven’t sold a million, not even close, yet here I am.
So while you wait for me to do whatever it is I am going to do, here’s a selection of 10 hippy highlights to keep you entertained:
REVEALED: The Shocking Link Between Tea and EVERYTHING BAD! – If you only read one thing on this page, read this one. It’s one of my most popular recent pieces.
The night Princess Diana died (Extract from “Personal Use”) – I didn’t kill her, I only felt like I did
Surviving the Climate Apocalypse – Great news, you can survive the end of the world, if you are rich enough
Politi-hippy 3 – The death of Polti-hippy – There is a part one, and a part two, but this is the best part.
A Question of Character – Or lack of it, in the case of our current Prime Minister.
Branding Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats – They made some mistakes, and paid for them on election day
Hating String Beans – They are now my favourite vegetable, but that’s not really what this is about
The Personal Risk of “Personal Use” – After my appearance on LBC, I wrote about being interviewed by James O’Brien
Why I Suck at Twitter – You should still follow me anyway
I Live in a Dry Country – I mean the UK, because weed is still pointlessly illegal
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy was a senior multimedia journalist until Feb 2020. With over 30 years experience of working in broadcast news, the hippy’s now left journalism to embark on a career as a full time hippy, writer and cannabis evangelist.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
The hippy says his next book, “High Hopes” will be published in 2020. The hippy says a lot of things.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.
Politi-hippy 3: The death of politi-hippy
You won! Get over it!
I feel like screaming this at the Brexiteers who continue to hurl abuse at people on the left. They are suffering from a brand new thing, that I have dubbed SWS, which stands for Sore Winner Syndrome.
It’s like the home team beat the away team at football, but all the home team fans jumped on the away team’s bus, just to continue the abuse all the way back their hometown. Not cool. If I won something, I would be happy. The winners of our recent election, don’t seem happy at all.
Seriously, you guys won. Get over it!
You get your Brexit, you get a toxic, incompetent government, with more cruelty, and more austerity. What more could you want?
You own Brexit now. You own the next 5 years of this parliament, enjoy it. You’ve got no one else to blame. You won. We lost. Get. Over. It. Don’t be sore winners. It’s unbecoming of your massive victory.
It already feels like a 100 years ago, when we went to the polls last month and handed Boris Johnson this huge majority.
Well, I say “we”, but there were a lot of us who didn’t vote for Boris’s Tory Party and we are all still here. Fun fact: more of us voted for remain-leaning parties than leave-leaning parties. And how did that work out for us? We still lost. Fragmentation of the remain vote, like life, is a bitch.
The Tories only increased their vote share by 1% nationally, yet they won tons of seats. They seemed to get just the right amount of votes, in just the right places. It’s almost as if someone was showing off, just how skilled they are at voter manipulation, by demonstrating the economy of their abilities.
Voter manipulation is easier than everyone thinks, because no one thinks it works on them. Guess what, like any repetitive advertising, it is extremely effective.
Here, you can take my super-fun, three question quiz:
1) What kind of chicken is “finger lickin’ good”?
2) What do Weebles do?
3) What is the “real thing”?
Answers: 1) KFC, 2) they wobble but they don’t fall down, and 3) Coca Cola. I bet you knew all three answers, as any good consumer would. Advertising works!
I grew up in front of the television, advertising certainly worked on me. Brand new kids cereal, gimme! Brand new toys, gimme, gimme. Vote against my own interests as an adult? Why not! You can be easily swayed. We all can.
Anyway, that’s my theory. I suspect the same tools used by Cambridge Analytica to deliver the Brexit referendum result, have only been refined and improved to the point where an increase of 1% vote share, in just the right constituencies, is achievable through machine learning, AI and a whopping great big data set.
And the far right are employing these tools all over the world. If the left has any hope of ever getting anything done, they need their own dodgy dark tool box. It’s not hacking, it’s voodoo, it’s data science and algorithms, and a Facebook advertising platform that allows micro-targeting at such a granular level that you can literally flip votes as needed.
One of the saddest things I kept hearing from the campaign trail, is the repeated refrain that former Labour voters switched to the Tories because they felt the country needed a change from Labour. Huh? Labour haven’t been in charge of the government for 10 years, so what exactly were they changing from? Instead they voted Tory, the party that has been in government for the last 10 years, but they are expecting a different outcome. Mr. Einstein, what was it everyone says you said again, about insanity?
Look, I get it, we lost. Remain lost, Labour and the LibDems lost. We are leaving the EU at the end of this month, no ifs, ands or buts. And probably a year after that, we will get that hard, no-deal Brexit that Boris is so keen on, as the transition period won’t be extended. There is no chance of a comprehensive trade deal in a year. Shall we stockpile supplies for a third time? Oh we shall, we shall!
None of this matters. The Great British public doesn’t care about the truth or reality any more. Boris will lie and tell us that everything is fine, and a large number of people will believe it. Lies are comforting in an uncomfortable world. Trump knows this too. Don’t like reality? Then create your own twisted version of it instead.
For example, Boris has banned the word Brexit after the end of the month. Brexit will be nowhere near finished, but if he eliminates the word, he eliminates the problem. He’s like Thanos with the Reality Stone. Reality can be whatever he wants it to be. Yay!
Who will the Tories blame when the economy tanks? I guess they will just tell us it’s all Jeremy Corbyn’s fault, for not losing hard enough. If Corbyn was a better loser, we wouldn’t be having all these problems. Stupid Corbyn!
Here are some random observations from the now dearly departed, Politi-hippy:
I was right about the branding of Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats, their messaging was way off the mark. They performed worse than even I expected. And I certainly didn’t predict Ms. Swinson’s loss. Rather bizarrely, LibDem MP and current peer, Lynn Featherstone, liked and retweeted this piece, which was highly critical of her party. I’m guessing she didn’t read it, but if she did and still retweeted it, then wow. Just wow.
I was wrong about tactical voting. I had hoped it would save us. It didn’t. We still lost. We could have toppled Tories, but we didn’t.
Labour had so many problems, that I could write a series of books based on them all. I won’t, plenty of other people will do a better job than I ever could. The biggest issue to me, was the lack of unity within the party that was publicly revealed within minutes of the result. The split, between the centre and left wings of the party, will probably kill off Labour in the long term. They are a spent force, just check out the cavalcade of mediocrity trying to become leader. It looks and feels hopeless for them.
During the campaign, I made a shit-ton of shitty graphics and shit-posted them on Twitter. I briefly increased my reach on Twitter as a result. I went from being an absolute total nobody, to a just plain old total nobody, but in spectacular fashion.
Here’s an overview of my a normal hippy month on Twitter, from last April. Remember, I suck at Twitter.
As you can see, I sent a whopping 60 tweets for a measly 13,000 impressions.
Here’s another typical hippy month on Twitter, from October. Slightly better but still not rocking anyone’s world.
This time, 98 tweets, for nearly 30,000 impressions. Still not setting the world on fire, not by a long shot. And look, I actually lost followers.
And then, witness the birth of politi-hippy. For around a month during the election campaign, I made a bit of an effort with original content in the form of the aforementioned shitposted graphics. Doing this improved my statistics significantly.
I sent a over 1,000 tweets, racking up around 700,000 impressions and I gained 40 new followers. While it is a big change for me, it’s still a drop in the bucket compared to anyone with name recognition and a decent follower count. I used hashtags, I tagged famous people, and I replied to tweets from well established accounts.
I had retweets and likes from a wide variety of notable people, including Glen Matlock, the original bass player for the Sex Pistols, and Bianca Jagger, the well known human rights campaigner and first wife of Mick. The Times columnist, India Knight, liked one of my graphics too.
Ultimately, none of this had an effect on anything, other than giving me a fun new hobby for a month. It did show me that getting anywhere on Twitter is a lot of work for very little reward.
Our side lost, my efforts online had zero effect, so politi-hippy is now crossing over to the great beyond. And with this final piece, indeed you are witnessing the slow death of politi-hippy.
I started out this campaign by asking how many children Boris Johnson has fathered. We still don’t know. Our Prime Minister is the Jonny Appleseed of jism, he is the human lawn sprinkler of spunk. He could have a hundred little blond, floppy-haired sons and daughters out there, for all we know, and no one would care. We now have a deadbeat dad in charge of the entire country. Cool.
I really expected Boris’s first bit of legislation passed by his new, giant majority, to be a ban on court mandated paternity tests, but no, they went for the Brexit withdrawal bill instead. Maybe that paternity test ban will be next? Who can say.
But from now on, I’m back to being the plain, old, normal version of the northlondonhippy. I want to reform the drug laws and get cannabis legalised. That’s my issue, that’s what I will campaign for, hard. I’ll leave the rest of real politics to the grown-ups, or for what passes for grown-ups in today’s world.
I was able to update one of my fun graphics, so it is valid for the next 5 years. This is the last official act of politi-hippy, before he draws his last breath. Sharing it is a public service. Enjoy!
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in broadcast news. Soon, the hippy will be leaving journalism to embark on a career as a full time hippy, writer and activist. This is not a drill.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
The hippy says his next book, “High Hopes” will be published in late Spring. The hippy says a lot of things.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.
Politi-hippy 2 – hippy’s revenge
I’m going to tell you flat out, from the start, there is no revenge. I’ve never done a sequel to one of my pieces before, and I really wanted to nail the title. I’m not out to settle any personal scores, I just wanted to get your attention. Did it work? Are you reading? Cool.
As I mentioned in my previous piece, Politi-hippy, I have been swept up in this stupid election we’re stuck with this month. I wrote a couple of pieces about the campaign, one about Boris Johnson’s utter lack of character, and the other on the poor branding choices made by Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats.
The whole thing is really stressing me out, and I know I am not the only one. My coping mechanism is that I started making weird, funny graphics to express my quiet rage. I’ve made like 50 of them in the last week or so. I am ever so slightly obsessed. You can find half of them on the the original Politi-hippy post, including the 6 panel Baby Yoda series. No baby yoda is safe from Boris Johnson’ Tory party!
I’ve been sharing them on Twitter and at least one of them has gone viral enough that you may have actually seen it. It’s this one:
Yep, that was me. Basic joke, simple format, internet gold. Who knew? And here I’ve spent 15 years trying to come up with original material. I don’t mean to sell myself short, it’s a decent gag, but hardly my best. In my own defence, I posted it not long after the interview finished on TV, so my timing was very good. Sure, it’s uncredited, and I doubt many people will see me claim credit here, but that’s ok. I like making people laugh.
I’ve never gone viral before in any meaningful way, so this was a new one for me. I knew it had been successful when I saw other people posting it all over the place. The truth is, I suck at Twitter, but in the last week or so, I’ve learned how to suck at it less. Go me!
I went on to make a bunch of graphics around Donald Trump’s visit:
Similar format, another basic joke. Private Eye should hire me, when I am a free agent again. They won’t, I’m too expensive, and I doubt they pay in weed anyway. Will work for bud, just putting that out there.
I made a bunch for the Trump visit, but that was the best one. I did try some other jokes with the graphic, this is the only other one that seemed to land:
And I did this one, too, which seemed to do better with Americans than British people. And it’s funny, because it’s true. Allegedly.
Trump and Boris did meet, but you didn’t get to see it, until now:
Trump left early because a bunch of bad kids were gossiping about him, including his very best friend, Boris Johnson. Here’s what that looked like:
I even did an arty one, with a fancy-pants literary quote, that I had to Google because of my vague memory and piss poor American education:
Once dumb Donny ditched NATO, I shifted my attention to what I think is the key to this election, tactical voting. There’s far more of us, than there are of them, but we are fragmented. We need to be smart. Are you smart? Of course you are! Smart people vote tactically. We all might prefer different parties, but who we like is not nearly as important as who we defeat. We need to vote the Tories out! Feel free to share any graphic I’ve made, no need to credit me.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks and well done you! Since I started posting all these graphics, I have increased my visibility on Twitter exponentially. I’ve had tweets liked and RT’d by a former MP and peer, the ex-wife of one of the world’s most famous rock stars, newspaper columnists and the original bassist from the original punk rock band. That’s why I will be back to tell you all about this and more in part 3 of the Politi-hippy series, Politi-hippy-Post-mortem, coming as soon as I can, after election day. And man I can’t wait till election day is done!
As a special treat for making it all the way to the end, here are 4 bonus, extra graphics that I’ve only just started sharing on Twitter. You can share them too.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy but only if you look really hard.
Politi-hippy
I have been a bit General Election obsessed since this one was called. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands too.
So I wrote about Boris Johnson’s utter lack of character.
And then I wrote about how I wish I could support the LibDems, but I can’t. Luckily, I don’t need to, but I would if it made tactical sense. I don’t hate them, but I should support them more than I do.
And I made a bunch of very shareable graphics. Have you shared any of them? There’s still time, and there’s plenty of choice, so choose one that expresses your own personal style! I especially recommend choosing one from the ‘baby yoda’ series. Confuse your political enemies with his cuteness. They’re not branded to me and I am making them publicly available. Go crazy, they are free!
Now that I’ve published all of these in one handy place, I am going to chill the fuck out. We will have a result soon enough, but I don’t think any of us are going to like it. And chances are, a lot of these graphics may still be useful for our next election, coming in Summer 2020!
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, cannabis evangelist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news. The hippy is finding this election campaign really depressing and stressful.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy