Let’s start with a big one, admitting to ourselves just how primitive a species we are, even though we have iPods and Microwave Ovens and other modern wonders of technology. We still remain quite primitive and relatively ignorant of so very much regarding the universe and our place in it.

We are extraordinarily primitive, more so than anyone would ever like to think. We are still a tribal race, unable to take a long term or global view of the true nature of our existence or the context.

We still cling to an “us versus them” mentality, we view people like us, living in the same place as more important than others, we foster rivalries and dissent between races and nations, rather than encouraging stronger ties based upon our similarities.

We are all the same, we are all earthlings first and foremost, every individual on this planet should have an equal worth, with the operative word being “should”, because the reality is nothing like that.

We value different people, different races, different classes, different nationalities as all having different and unequal worth in our so called modern society. We remain incredibly selfish when only selflessness will redeem the human race.

Imagine some space aliens arrived, imagine them any way you like, as long as they seem real and somewhat ordinary, because chances are intelligent life in the universe would be both of those things, ordinary and most likely real.

Imagine they didn’t read the fine print in their Travel Guide to the Universe which carried the caveat to our small blue planet, advising against any direct contact when visiting, because of our unevolved and primitive nature. They missed that bit and landed their space craft in the centre of a big city, expecting to be warmly welcomed by the friendly residents of our world.

Imagine the many surprises in store for these space visitors as they discovered our planet was not unified, we still believed we were the only species in the universe, created by an invisible, yet all seeing, all knowing space god, fighting each other for land and oil and religious differences. Oh, how they would laugh and mock us, seeing us as no more than insects scurrying around in the dirt.

They wouldn’t be too far off in their brief assessment of our world.

I keep coming back to the word “primitive”, because it truly applies. Our knowledge of the universe, of our world and ourselves is so blinkered, narrow and incomplete and yet we exist in a giant state of total denial. We have no collective self awareness of this fact and most would scorn me for me suggesting it.

Sometimes the bitter truth hurts.

If we want to have any hope of surviving what lies ahead for us as a species, the starting point needs to be a giant collective realisation of just how immature we are as race, and that we continue to evolve both biologically and socially.

Following that first realisation, must come another big realisation, that our knowledge of universe is minuscule and we know next to nothing about the true nature of matter, space and time.

If we ever did truly understand the true nature of matter, space and time, then most likely we could manipulate all three and make them bend to our will with ease.

We are eons from that point, but that doesn’t make it out of the realm of possibility, it just depends upon how long we last as a species.

I’ll give you an easy example of what I am talking about; the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Switzerland, which cost a gazillion dollars (or pounds or euros, or whatever currency you prefer) and is the largest scientific experiment ever constructed, is trying to find an invisible particle which theoretically gives mass to matter.

If that’s gobblygook, I’ll try to explain it, though many of these ideas often feel unexplainable to our tiny, meat computer brains.

Our understanding of subatomic theory is so (and here’s that word again), primitive, that we can’t see what gives mass to matter, because at the microscopic levels we can physically observe, most of the structure of an atom consists of empty space. Scientists theorise that there must be additional, invisible particles that are part of the subatomic architecture which give matter mass. I hope I am getting this right, I am not an actual physicist, but I do play the home game a lot.

To me, this seems like quite fundamental stuff that we are only guessing at, scholarly straws at which we can only merely gently grasp.

We are a long way away from any deep, meaningful understanding of anything big or important.

We still have no idea of the true origin of our universe. Again, we can and do only guess and then only to a point. Most theories start at some incomprehensible singularity that somehow erupted into the Big Bang and many only start one second after the Big Bang happened.

I’m not denying the Big Bang, on the contrary, there is plenty of evidence to support it as a theory, but many theories are incomplete, or depend upon things like cosmic inflation and expanding theory to fill in their quite considerable gaps.

The term “singularity” is thrown around quite a bit in science and yet to me, it seems to mean something that can’t be explained, or understood, so let’s just set it aside and take it as read that it exists and is a point on which we can build speculative theories.

Take Black Holes, which are pretty much theoretical mindfucks anyway.

There is a physical point to a Black Hole that scientists refer to as the singularity, where all that is known about time, space and matter doesn’t apply. Its just an easy way to admit our ignorance in a scholarly way.

The same is true for the theory surrounding the day when our computers become smarter than we are and can autonomously design and construct ever smarter and better machines than themselves. Theorists refer to this as the singularity as well because they don’t know what the impact will be on our world. Unless you’re James Cameron and you can envisage a Skynet like computer deciding we are bad for the planet and seeking to wipe us off the face of the earth.

Wouldn’t it be prudent to better ourselves as a species and a race, so when that day arrives, the machines see us more of a benefit worthy of keeping around and allowing to flourish?

I’m just sayin’…

Perhaps we need to label more things that we don’t get with the word “singularity” and increase its common usage and understanding. For example, when men collectively complain that they don’t understand a woman’s mind, instead of labelling it a mystery, you could say its a singularity.

Or these kids today, they are a total singularity to me. You get the idea.

Let’s take religion. No, seriously, let’s take it somewhere and dump it and leave it in the past, where it belongs.

Religion is a prime example of our primitive nature that we desperately cling to like a comfort blanket. Religion is a primitive way of dealing with singularities, by filling in the blanks in our rudimentary knowledge of the universe by consigning everything we don’t understand to a benevolent/vengeful space god.

Religion is the epitome of our primitiveness, it is the best example of how undeveloped we are, because we still allow it to colour how we treat each other and dictate our moral code.

When we finally transcend religion, as we need to do if we want any hope for a better future for our species, we will need to base our moral code on more humanist ideals.

I try to be a good person, not because I want or hope for a better place in the afterlife, but because being good and doing good is something that matters to me. I care about my fellow man and woman. We all need to find that spirit of kindness in our own hearts, from a genuine belief in the betterment of our world.

What we don’t need to do is base our morality on the fear of a non-existent god who will punish us for our bad deeds.

Murder is wrong, not because it is in the Ten Commandments, but because it is immoral to unjustly take another’s life. We should understand that at an innate level, in our bones we should all know that killing is wrong.

And we do all know that, but we find ever more creative ways to justify killing on an industrial scale, all over the place. We kill with weapons just as much as we kill with our own selfishness and greed. There should be enough of everything to go around for everyone, no one should starve or lack fresh, clean drinking water, yet we all know that is not the case.

We don’t view the world as one big extended family, we highlight our differences, rather than stressing our similarities. Its actually amazing if you think of what we all on this planet have in common, yet you never hear anyone talk about it.

We all want a better world, the differences lie in how we all think we get there.

We need to move to a post-tribal mindset, we need to view things globally, rather than locally.

We need to care more about what’s happening to everyone, not just the people who are exactly like us.

We need to move to a point beyond religion, where science explains as much as it can, while actively pursuing answers to the things that remain unknown.

We need to put individuals first and agree at every level that we are all truly equal on this earth.

We need to act responsibly and think in terms, not of years or decades, but millennia, because if we want to have any hope of surviving, we need to be that forward thinking.

I know I’ve been knocking us for being primitive, but I don’t want to take away any of our already considerable achievements. We’ve worked out some impressive things, but we’ve only really scratched the surface of what there is to be known in the universe. I’m glad I have a microwave oven and flat screen tv, but we can go so much further and at an exponential rate.

I dream of a time in a time in a few thousand years, where we are the masters of all time, space and matter, where all the mysteries of the universe are finally revealed and understood by one and all.

I like to think of the many developments I’ve seen in my short lifespan, and how many more I will see in my remaining years.

I’ve joked before that they will discover the key to eternal youth and longevity the day after I die. But in the back of my mind is the tiny hope that I will find a way to cheat death, even if it is only in machine form, so my consciousness can carry on learning about and observing the human condition. Our best days still lie ahead of us and it drives me nuts that I won’t be here to see it all.

That is, you might not have heard if you’ve been in a coma, but even if you’ve been semi-conscious, it would be difficult to have missed it with the blanket coverage available on every media platform.

This has been one of the most interesting campaigns in decades and one of the most entertaining. With just a few days ago, there is no certain outcome and predictions vary widely on what sort of government we might be waking up to come Friday morning.

Cool by me, I enjoy uncertainty and I like the up-in-the-air-ness of the whole thing. I watch the daily polls rise and fall with amusement, because any sensible person knows the only poll that matters is the official one on Thursday. All the rest are just idle speculation and spin.

The truth is, you can’t really trust most of the polls, because the data is weighted and manipulated before it is released, usually to reflect the bias and opinion of the media outlet who commissioned it. Yes, I’m looking at you News International, your stilted coverage and unbridled analingus performed on the Tories has been shameful. Ol’ Rupert Murdoch anointed David Cameron as the chosen one and all of his newspapers and his TV news channel went about crafting a narrative that tried to assure an outright Conservative victory.

How’s that working out?

Possibly not as well as they had hoped, as the polls suggest the Tories are only slightly ahead, with strong possibility of no outright majority. Ooops.

I think one of the biggest surprises for me in the campaign is how disappointing Cameron’s performances have been, especially at the leader’s debates. I really expected Diamond Dave to walk this election, but he is not nearly as charismatic or magnetic a speaker as I would have expected. Part of their poor showing in the polling is down to this.

This election isn’t about policy, though of course it should be, but it is about personality. Cameron has revealed himself as lacking in that department.

And speaking of someone completely void of personality, have you caught Gordon Brown lately? Just look at his forced, fake, uncomfortable smile; I have a theory (that I’d be happy never proving) that he has the same expression on his face when he smiles as he does when he is taking a dump.

I have never been a fan of Gordon Brown.

OK, that’s an understatement, I detest him and have him a vocal and vitriolic critic of him since he assumed power. I can never forgive him for publicly labelling cannabis a “deadly drug”, propagating other false claims about it and ignoring all the advice, scientific and otherwise by re-classifying cannabis to Class B.

Gordon continues to go on and on about the “global financial meltdown” which he claims can only be fixed if he remains in office. Well, there’s some logic to that, because as he was Chancellor for so many years, he must feel very responsible for the mess he created and he would like to mop it up. No thanks.

Brown really showed how deeply nasty he is to the core, with his shameful treatment of Gillian Duffy, who by all accounts seems to be the sort of salt-of-the-earth Labour Party supporter that has kept them in the game for a very long time. If he treats his base with this much contempt and scorn, imagine what he must think of the undecided.

I feel sorry for the poor saps who have to media-manage Brown on a daily basis. Whatever you’re getting paid, its probably not enough by half. Wrangling that sourpuss from appearance to appearance would destroy the soul of the strongest PR flack.

The one good thing about Brown’s piss-poor performance during this campaign has been my absolute vindication that he would drag the Labour Party into the political wilderness for generations.

They had several chances to replace him and they lacked the courage and balls to do it. Now they will suffer and get what they deserve, a complete decimation at the polls on Thursday. It will be the worst showing by Labour in history, any other MP from the party wouldn’t have done as badly as Gordon. They really only have themselves to blame.

I like being right and I love saying “I told ya so”.

Hey Labour.… I told you if you stuck with Gordon, you’d be fucked. Yep, I TOLD YA SO!

Oh that felt good!

I’ve always been a big fan of the LibDems, if not an outright supporter. Their policies seem to be anchored in reality, with a healthy dose of common sense. We could use both of those qualities in government.

The best example I can site is their drug policy, which in their manifesto, loosely says that they would take a scientific and evidence based approach. In practise that would mean they would follow closely the advice of their advisors, in this case the ACMD.

Taking it further, in previous statements, the LibDems have supported decriminalising or legalising cannabis, though with all the bullshit media nonsense over the discredited research into the (very much unproven) link between weed and psychosis, they haven’t mentioned it recently. I don’t blame them as it would only be used against them as a sign of weakness.

The Liberal Democrats are not a weak party, they are actually the strongest on sensible policies that work towards the common good and benefit the most people. It takes strength to fly in the face of conventional (media) wisdom and openly declare that the “war on drugs” is an absolute failure that does more harm than the drugs themselves. The LibDem party is the one party that’s not afraid of speaking the truth.

They’re also not aligned with big media or big corporations, they seem to be more independent of the establishment and therefore more able to do good for the country, rather than serving special interests.

Nick Clegg has impressed everyone and made them sit up and take notice of his party. Its about time they get taken seriously. Clegg has also frightened the two “old parties”, which has been fun to watch as they both mount attacks him.

The leader’s debates have truly changed the face of politics in this country, seeing Clegg go toe-to-toe with the other two showed the nation in a very tangible way that there is an alternative to old-style politics. After thirteen years of Labour governments, this country is in desperate need of a change.

The LibDems are the only party that really offers that change.

The Tories won’t change anything so much as bring back a sameness. They don’t have any new ideas or energy or personality. Don’t vote for them.

Gordon Brown is a megalomaniac dictatorial buffoon and embarrassment to the nation, but the reason not to vote Labour is simple, one word: Iraq. This is the party that dragged this nation into an illegal and pointless war, for absolutely no good reason. And they lied to us about it, repeatedly and they still do. They deserve to come in third or worse.

A vote for the LibDems is a vote for change and a vote for a brighter future.

People say they can’t win with an outright majority, but they could if everyone voted their heart. If you think the LibDems are the best choice, and I believe a lot of you out there do, then vote for them. You are NOT throwing your vote away on a minor party, real change comes from people having the strength of will and conviction to not fear change. If everyone who supports them follows through on election day, then Nick Clegg could be the next Prime Minister.

More likely, if you believe the polls, is that we are headed for a hung parliament and the possibility of a coalition government. There are worse things that could happen.

Many other countries have coalition governments, formed by opposing parties. Guess what happens? They learn to work with each other and compromise and things get done. You have nothing to fear from this outcome and maybe we all might even benefit from the mix of the strongest ideas from both parties involved.

But which parties? That’s the real question.

If I was going to gamble on the outcome, I would say a Tory-LibDem coalition, with Cameron in charge and a healthy mix of both parties in the cabinet. I could live with that.

Less likely and certainly less appealing would be a Labour-LibDem government with someone other than Brown as PM.

And at the very outside and many would say implausible, a Tory-Labour government. I have this weird theory that these two polar opposites (who really aren’t that different) could do a deal with each other to lock the LibDems out. Maybe its not as impossible as it sounds and if it does happen, won’t I look like the poly-sci genius?

Whatever happens, of one thing I’m certain, come Friday, Gordon Brown will no longer be Prime Minister and will go down as one of the most unpopular, unsuccessful, worst PM’s in history.

All over America, attitudes and laws are changing and changing fast.

What are we doing wrong here in the United Kingdom?

Lots, by the look of it. How is it possible that we are falling behind America on this very important issue?

A few years ago, the situation was reversed. The attitude here to weed was relaxing, Tony Blair and David Blunkett downgraded cannabis to Class C, making possession a very minor offence. In America, so much as a seed or a used hash pipe was enough in most states to get you a lengthy, mandatory prison sentence.

Cannabis didn’t remain Class C for long, as Gordon Brown asked the ACMD to review its status. The ACMD did just that, twice and recommended that it remain in Class C. That was unacceptable to our very desperate and weak, make-believe Prime Minister and he pushed ahead with restoring cannabis to to Class B. Class B increased penalties for possession, but had no effect on production or distribution, the penalties are the same for either classification. Gordon wanted to send a “strong message” that cannabis was a “dangerous, deadly drug”.

Now, you can ask any teenager if cannabis is lethal and once they stop laughing, they will set you straight. Cannabis is in no way lethal, but our current government and ruling party don’t have a problem lying to the general public about anything. These are the same shitbags that invaded Iraq on the basis of utter fabrication, so a little white lie about weed won’t cause any issues with their consciences.

Well, I can tell you right now, its causing major issues with mine!

America is moving apace to legalise weed. This is a huge shift in attitude and approach from their previous policy of “just say no” and the war on drugs. Its seismic!

America is the most litigious country in the world, if there were any risks to cannabis, someone would be getting sued for damages, whether its the government for allowing it or the people who provide it. America has accepted that cannabis is not a bad thing, but a beneficial product that can help millions medically.

C. Everett Koop, former Surgeon General of the United States declared that cannabis was the “most therapeutically beneficial substance known to man” years ago, but it is only now that America is accepting his assessment. At least they got there in the end.

We are still so far away from taking a common sense approach that I’m not sure what to do. Gordon Brown, in his ignorance and desire to appear strong on drugs, has set the cause back at least a decade. Its time we regain some of our lost ground.

Its not just America, many countries have relaxed their drug policies to reflect common sense, the most recent being the Czech Republic. How could the UK be lagging behind them?

We’re lagging behind almost everyone.

I want to change that. I am going to change that.

I just don’t know how yet.

Every journey starts with a first step and this is mine. My goal for 2010 is to combat the ignorance and stupidity that is UK drug policy. Its time for all decent, upstanding, otherwise law abiding residents of this fine country to stand up and demand that they are not criminalised for enjoying a smoke.

We can fight the lies, we can fight the ignorance. We can fight, fight fight until we get what we want, which is a legalised, regulated and taxed cannabis market. The time is now!

A year from now, we will be closer to our goal.You have my word on it.

Martin Luther King, the famous and revered American civil rights activist once said, “…there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that, “an unjust law is no law at all.””

It fucking sucked. Really, it did. I’ll be glad to see the back of it.

Besides iPods, name one good thing about the noughties? Even its nickname is pathetically lame.

The decade started with the Millennium, which was supposed to be the biggest celebration of all time. I spent the night in central London, on the River Thames, broadcasting live to all over the world. Maybe you saw me there, I was in charge of a broadcast tent near Lambeth Bridge, blocking people’s views of the fireworks and River of Fire.

Ha, the River of Fire was the first major disappointment of many in the noughties, a damp squib rather than spectacular and a giant let down for those who braved the cold to witness it. I’ve never heard such a loud, collective, “is that really it?” in my life.

London crowds can be drunken and angry and the night of the Millennium was no exception. As the clock struck midnight and I was transmitting live on behalf of four different foreign broadcasters, someone unplugged our generator cable and everything went dark.  

Don’t worry, one of the technicians managed to get it reconnected and it all worked, though the cables were covered with human urine, which wasn’t so pleasant for the engineer. On top of that, the crowd attacked us and tried to steal our expensive TV gear. I can remember smacking peoples’ arms and hands away from tripods and lights as the fireworks began.

We were all ready for the Y2K bug, a peculiar glitch in some older computers that prevented it for handling 4-digit years, meaning some unpatched computers would think it was 1900, not the year 2000. We expected the telephone network to collapse, the power grid to crash, along with all the jumbo jets flying overhead.

It didn’t happen, nothing happened, crisis averted.

But that didn’t mean the noughties were crisis free, because less than a year later, George W. (for What the fuck?) Bush stole the election and became the most powerful sub-normally intelligent person in history. His presidency dominated the decade and his policies made the world a much shittier place.

Think for a second, if Al Gore had claimed the presidency instead. He should have won it, he did win it, but the Supreme Court had other ideas.

Do you think we’d be in Iraq if Gore had two terms in the White House? Probably not, but then we most likely wouldn’t have Barack Obama now.

Who’s to say?

The Bush presidency was built on the foundation of the Neo-Conservative moment and the Project for a New American Century. How’d all that turn out?

Let’s see, the entire economy melted down to near collapse and we seem to be engaged in George Orwell’s never-ending war while his Big Brother keeps track of our every thought and action.

Cool.

Bush was stupid, his advisors no smarter. They dug one stupid hole after another, each a little deeper than the last.

When the attacks of 11th September 2001 took place, you couldn’t imagine a worse commander and chief to have at the helm, unless you enjoy children’s books about pet goats, in which case he would be your number one choice.

9/11 changed everything, but the real shock and awe was how we felt as we watched the twin towers come crashing to the ground.

I’m old enough to remember when the World Trade Centre was built. I’d been lucky enough to visit the observation deck more than once, its a view you wouldn’t be able to duplicate again today without a helicopter.

We were devastated by those attacks, fiendishly simple, yet executed to maximum effect. I remember thinking that this was the beginning of the end of western civilisation and soon we would all be crawling through nothing but rubble, drinking brackish water from puddles in the streets.

How wrong I was!

9/11 was a blip, a lucky shot, a once in a lifetime terror strike from a group whose success exceeded even their own expectations. I’m sure they didn’t think the entire world would change so radically as a result of their actions, but change it did.

Keeping us secure became the number one priority, the cost being a dramatic reduction in our liberty and personal freedoms. Any extreme, radical action taken by a government could and would be justified by tagging it with an anti-terror bent.

Do you want to monitor all telephone calls and email messages? No problem.

Do you need my banking and credit history before I get on a plane? Sure thing!

How about my shoes, should I take them off too? Gosh, hope I don’t have holes in my socks!

Think how quickly we all simply adapted to these new realities, we made hardly a peep as our civil liberties were systematically stripped away.

Its become such a farce now, here in London you practically can’t even take a photograph in a public place without the police swooping down on you like you’re Mohammed Atta, scoping out another attack.

Think that’s good for business and tourism? Think again?

Terror is not the only thing that’s been scaring us in the last ten years, as the environment’s been on our minds too. You won’t see any government declaring war on climate change, even though its probably more of a threat to more people than terrorism could ever be.

The effects of climate change are apparent to anyone who can be bothered to look, yet there are people out there in the world who try to deny this inevitability. If you tried to deny the threat of terror, you would be labelled a traitor, but being a climate-change doubter will not earn you the same label.

Its probably too late to slow down climate change because we pissed away the last decade arguing about it. It would be funny, if it weren’t so damn tragic as the recent Copenhagen Climate Summit heartily illustrated.

The wars in the last ten years have been quite tragic too, especially the two major conflicts instigated by the West, Iraq and Afghanistan.

The war in Iraq was justified with false pretences and blatant, pre-meditated lies. I knew there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and I had no access to any of the intelligence available to our leaders. They knew it too, but made up a bunch of nonsense any way.

I can remember being the only idiot in the world who thought that America and Britain wouldn’t go to war in Iraq. I genuinely believed they had no grounds to initiate a conflict and that they would back down at the last minute. I don’t think I’ve ever been more wrong, but not as wrong as launching that illegal and pointless war.

George W (for War Criminal) Bush and Tony Blair should both be sitting in prison cells in The Hague, awaiting their trials for crimes against humanity, but no one has the fucking balls to send them both there. The International Court should have charged them already, even if extradition would never happen. They both should pay for their crimes and sins.

But they won’t.

How many innocent lives have been lost in that pointless war? Iraq was far from perfect before the “allies” invaded, but the electricity flowed, the streets were safe and Iraq still had an educated, functional middle class.

I’m not a Saddam Hussein apologist, the guy was a nasty piece of work, repressive, iron fisted, unpleasant and vicious. But so what? Lots of countries are lead by shitbags, we don’t invade them and impose regime change just because we feel like it.

Regime change on its own is not a valid reason for war. In the case of Iraq, it turns out it was the only reason.

Saddam Hussein got strung up in a hastily organised hanging. There’s mobile phone video of it on the internet, that I’m sure you’ve seen by now. It was a very undignified end for an odious, horrible man. Though back in the 1970s, Saddam was friendly with America and funded by them, because he opposed Iran.

Things change, shit happens.

Afghanistan is a different shade of grey.

After 9/11, there was some sense in going into Afghanistan since that’s where the terror bases and training camps were. That’s also where the leader of the bad guys lived, oh what’s his name again?

Osama something or other.

They had the chance to capture or kill him in Tora Bora and blew it. He’s still allegedly alive and on the run in the border area between Afghanistan and Pakistan.

The problem with Afghanistan is after they chased Al Qaeda out, they were left fighting the Taliban. Big countries like America are crappy at fighting insurgencies and guerrilla wars, see Vietnam for proof. They’ve been dragged deeper into a civil conflict than they need to be.

Today, Afghanistan is a lawless basket-case of a nation, with a corrupt, ineffectual government at its centre and powerful war lords scattered throughout the country.

President Obama seems to think more troops will help and the decade is ending with him announcing further deployments.

When will they ever learn?

How’s never sound?

And speaking of America’s first black president, Barack Obama is one of the good things to come out of the noughties, but he wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for George W. (Where’d he go?) Bush. Bush paved the way for Obama, with his stupidity, mistakes and far right ideals.

Whether you agree with Obama’s policies or not, having a mixed race president in America is good for the entire world. I never thought I would see it in my lifetime, and like most people I was moved deeply by his election.

Do I think he’s doing a good job? Its way too early to tell. He hasn’t even been in office for an entire year yet. We should give the guy a chance. Ask me again in 3–7 years, when he’s finished and I’ll have enough information to form an opinion. Clearly, I wasn’t a voting member of the Nobel panel, because I never would have given the prize to Barack, at least not yet, anyway.

Personally, it wasn’t such a hot decade for me either. Both of my parents passed away, my father in 2004 and my mother in 2008. I miss them both every day.

This was the decade I well and truly entered middle age. I’m going to be forty-fucking-seven next month. The last decade saw me diagnosed with a stupid illness and I had a sustained period of unemployment while I was between jobs.

The illness, Hashimoto’s Disease, is allegedly under control and I did manage to secure gainful employment, for which I am very thankful, but neither period was particularly pleasant for me.

The progress of technology is one good thing to come from the last decade, I’ve got the some of the coolest toys I’ve ever owned currently in my possession.

I’m on my 3rd iMac, the latest a 27” beast with a quad-core processor that is lightening fast, its like having a stylish supercomputer parked on my desk.

By far, the most amazing thing I own is my iPhone 3GS, it is a gadget of unrivalled beauty, power and usefulness. If I had to choose one piece of kit that’s revolutionised my life, its my iPhone. It does more than I could have ever imagined and its abilities just keep growing with every app I install.

Citizen journalism came of age in the noughties, with websites similar to this one springing up at a rapid rate. The word “blog” didn’t even exist ten years ago and now there are millions of them.

Blogging came along when I needed it most, I started this one nearly 6 years ago during my dark and depressing period of unemployment.

Blogging gave me something to do, something to focus on, something to make me feel like I was still a functioning member of society. I had a way to contribute, a way to participate. Somehow, I still mattered, even if I felt like I didn’t.

Blogging may have saved my life. I would have continued to sink deeper had I not discovered Blogspot back in 2004. 

And that’s where you all come in.

Without an audience, blogging is a bit pointless and while I am still not and will probably never be mainstream, I’ve had a level of support and interest that still astounds me. I’m thankful for every visitor I’ve ever had who has dropped by and hung out with me virtually.

Without all of you, I’d just be some guy writing longwinded essays for my own amusement. Ok, even with you all around, that statement is true, but its still better for having you all here.

Thanks very much for stopping by, you’ll always find a warm welcome here and I always put out on the first date.

I wish each and every one of you the very best of the holiday season. I hope the next decade sees all your hopes and dreams come true.

PS
I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff I left out of my review of the decade, but this short video review from Newsweek Magazine should fill in many of the gaps. Its quite US-centric, but its only 7 minutes long, so enjoy!

Yep, I believe the climate is changing. I can see it and feel it and have done for a while now. Here in the UK, the winters seem milder and though last summer wasn’t one of the hottest on record, it was hot enough. I’ve seen what’s happening to the polar ice caps, not first hand, but computer graphics aren’t that good, so the footage has to be real.

Is it just a normal cycle? Maybe. Is human activity contributing or accelerating the process? How could it not? We live in a closed ecosystem, our atmosphere is sealed tight against the vacuum of space. The more greenhouse gasses we pump into this sealed bubble, the hotter it will get.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I want to do my part to help prevent climate change. I use low energy light bulbs, which aren’t as bright as the old incandescent style. I recycle as much as I can, which is messy and time consuming. And I don’t take unnecessary car journeys, which means riding the bus and tube with unwashed strangers.

I know its not much, but its something. I’d like to do more.

That got me thinking, what more could I do to help slow down climate change? Then it hit me, there’s something we all could do that would have an instant, immediate and measurable effect on the amount of greenhouse gasses released into the environment.

All living things exhale carbon dioxide, or CO2 as its known. Humans are the only living creatures to understand this and to be able to adjust their own output.

I’m proposing that every human being who is physically able, should hold their breath for at least one minute per day. You could do it all in one go, or you can do two 30 second periods. You could even go longer if you like, but I can’t be held liable if you pass out, fall down and hit your head. I only suggested a minute a day.

If everyone held their breath for one minute daily, that would have a huge impact on the amount of CO2 released into the atmosphere annually. These things add up quickly and if I were a scientist I could estimate how much CO2 would be saved, but I’m not, so I can’t. So we’ll stick to “a lot.”

Look man, if we don’t do something and pretty goddamn soon, breathing won’t be an issue that most of us will need to worry about any more.

So I’ll be holding my breath, and not just for one minute every day. I’ll be holding it while our leaders meet this month to work out whether they can save the human race. If they do come up with a solution, I’ll certainly be surprised, but I’ll also finally be able to exhale.

You don’t want me to turn blue, do you?

Its called ASS BOMBS

Don’t worry if you can’t be bothered to re-read it right now, I’ll summarise it for you: I speculated on the lengths future terrorists would have to go through to sneak explosive devices on to planes and the additional security measures that would have to be put in place to maintain safety. This wasn’t long Richard Reid tried to blow up his shoes.

I theorised that a terrorists’ rectum would become a compartment for hiding plastique and airport security screeners would have to play proctologist to make sure all air travellers were not carrying anything up their bottoms. Instead of “take off your shoes and remove all metal objects”, their instruction would be to “bend over and spread those cheeks.”

It would certainly put flying into a brand new perspective. Making sure you wear clean socks without any holes wouldn’t seem so important any more.

It turns out, I was partially right. An alleged Al Qaeda fanatic tried to blow up officials at a meeting in Saudi Arabia with some TNT shoved up his ass, only the idiot left it stuck up there when it detonated and it only killed the bomber. You’re supposed to take it out of your bottom before it goes off.

You can read the report here in The Sun newspaper, under their clever headline; “Suicide Bummer”. Did you see what they did there?

Its unlikely as fuck that Al Qaeda visit my website, so they probably worked this one out on their own. Now that this frightening and icky technique is out there, how long before airports implement new security procedures? Not long is my guess.

Still, there’s an upside. If you’re going to have to display your ringpiece in airports for all to see, anal bleaching is set to be the next big growth industry. They’ll even have a new slogan: “Anal Bleaching…its not just for porn stars any more!”

I’m not denying its happening, I can clearly see its effects regularly on a world wide scale, I just don’t think our politicians and scientists have explained it to us very well.

“Climate change” has a PR problem, but don’t worry, I’m going to attempt to offer a simple solution.

The planet Earth itself is not threatened.

There, I said it.

Climate change is not going to destroy this rock we’re stuck on, regardless of the atmospheric temperature, Earth will keep spinning through space for a very long time, probably until our Sun turns into a Red Giant or Supernova or whatever it is stars do and that’s millions of years away.

Climate change might kill every living thing on the planet, or at least most of them. That should be a strong selling point, only we don’t really care that much about living things other than humans.

And it seems we don’t care that much about all the humans anyway, only some of them. You know, the ones that look like us, dress like us, talk like us, ummmm, us.

Not them.

But most of all, we care about ourselves. Self-preservation is something we all seem to have in common.

Tackling “climate change” has to be about saving one’s self from the coming Armageddon. Fear is always an excellent selling point.

Slowing climate change will save your life and the lives of everyone you care about. Not slowing climate change will probably kill us all.

“All of us” includes you. You might really die from the effects of a warmer planet.

If the global temperature goes up, more people will die from heat-related illnesses. Remember all those old French folks who died in the heatwave in 2003? There’d be a lot more deaths like that.

Got air conditioning? If the energy suppliers can’t keep up with demand, it won’t matter and you’ll still fry.

Large, currently heavily populated areas of the planet will become uninhabitable, potentially displacing millions. All those refugees will have to go somewhere, which will increase crowding in more temperate regions while stretching dwindling resources beyond capacity. Life will become more difficult to sustain.

Tropical diseases without known cures will spread out from the current hot zones to increasingly wider areas and even more people will die.

Food production will be disrupted, prompting starvation on an unimaginable scale.

I’ve read that London has only a 48 hour food supply at any given time, because of the way supermarket stock is managed. Food practically goes from lorry to shelf without sitting long in the back room. Its a deliver-as-required system.

If your local supermarkets ran dry, how would you feed yourself and your family? Even if you stockpile long-life meals, they’ll run out eventually. Think you can get a farm up and running before it does? Assuming there’s still enough water and the sun’s not so hot that it fries your plants and livestock before you have the chance to take the first tasty bite.

Unrestrained climate change means death for you.

Its simple math really, if we don’t do something soon, we’re all gonna end up dead.

It won’t be the end of the planet, or the end of the world, but it will be the end of us.

And that includes you.

Suddenly, those low energy lightbulbs don’t seem so bad and separating your recyclable goods doesn’t seem like such a chore, does it?

A bunch of world leaders are heading to Copenhagen this December to go through the motions of a Climate Change summit. Perhaps, if they adopted the following slogan, people might finally start paying attention:

Climate Change = Death

And once everyone’s paying attention, perhaps we all can start taking the right steps to slow down climate change. The life you save just might be your own.

Americans are being led to believe that the free healthcare available to all of us in the UK is no good. This is so far from the truth that it would be funny, except for the fact that people’s lives hang in the balance.

The UK has a much higher life expectancy than the USA. Check your statistics and see that I’m not lying. The UK also spends less on healthcare per person than they do in the states, yet they yield better results.

Go figure!

The American healthcare system is run like a for-profit business. Think about that, someone profits from your illness and the percentages of profit are obscenely high.

Insurance companies, drug companies private hospitals, private doctors are all in the game to make money from your misery. That can’t be right, can it? Every test ordered that you don’t really need, every over-prescription is money in the bank for someone.

Just ask Michael Jackson if private healthcare on demand is a good thing. Oh wait, you can’t because it killed him.

In America, healthcare is seen as a privilege, not a basic human right. Should one only be entitled to healthcare on the basis of qualifying for insurance, rather than qualifying for need? Shouldn’t everyone have access to healthcare?

Of course they should!

Some of the scenes I’ve caught on television, of the so-called town-hall meetings have been very amusing, well amusing in as much as the ignorance fuelled anger is simply surreal.

It seems to me, that the loudest voices at these town-hall meetings are coming out of the mouths of people with the least information on the subject. These sad, twisted, ignorant people have an unjustifiable hatred of President Obama that is probably rooted in their inherent racism rather than any actual dislike of a new healthcare system.

All you need to do is listen to what they say, their buzz words, like “socialism” and “this isn’t the America I know” to understand just how misguided and ill-informed these folks are on the subject.

Ok, any subject.

At the heart of all of this is FOX News, the biased and unfair pseudo news network owned by Rupert Murdoch. FOX News provide the stilted talking points and their legions of viewers turn up at town-hall meetings, parroting the same lame shit.

I can’t say I’ve looked into it, but I am guessing a wealthy guy like Murdoch must have business interests outside the media world, say perhaps insurance or drug companies. In other words, he may have a vested financial interest in how this debate plays out. And if not him, then some of his rich robber-baron mates have got investments in the medical field. There’s a lot of profit to be protected.

Its funny how SKY News, the sister station of FOX News, under the NewsCorp corporate umbrella is taking a different tack here, righteously defending the NHS against the FOX News inspired attacks. Does one hand not know what the other is doing? Or is SKY simply pandering to their UK-based subscribers?

I think we both know the answer to that one.

I’m in a fairly unique position, having lived considerable lengths of time under both healthcare systems. Neither the US or UK systems are perfect, both excel at some things and lack in others, but overall, I know which system I would choose, if I had to…

The NHS all the way!

In the UK, I’ve never had any concerns about insurance, access to the medical system or being able to afford the costs. I’ve for the most part, had excellent care of a world class standard courtesy of the NHS.

In America I’ve been charged one hundred bucks for a wooden tongue depresser — you know what I’m talking about, a wide wooden popsicle stick.

Open your mouth and say “ahhh fuck, you just charged me a Benjamin to do that!”

In my world, life is usually quite simple and this unhealthy debate is no different. What it boils down to is this: “I’ve already got mine, so screw you if you don’t have yours!” It all comes down to compassion and America’s apparent lack of it.

The Christian right in America preach something known as “compassionate conservatism”, but sadly they don’t practise it in any meaningful or tangible way. Where’s the compassion? What would that guy Jesus do?

Jesus would move to the UK, sign on to the dole and get those holes in his hands and feet looked at for free, same for that nasty stab wound in his side.

Universal healthcare is an undeniable right, yet 50 million Americans are being denied it. Any compassionate person would recognise the inequality in the current system and want to do all they could to change it.

Where are all the compassionate folks in America? Don’t they care about their fellow man? Maybe if there are any, they could go to those silly town-hall meetings and shout down all the ignorant idiots that are making America look so stupid.

Oh and while I’m at it, lay off the NHS. Ill-informed opinion does not make a debate, it just makes you look even more like morons to the rest of the (better informed) world.

Nice people take drugs (courtesy Release)

That’s an actual photo of a London bus advert placed by Release, an organisation committed to reforming UK drug laws.

Here’s Release’s mission statement, from their website:

“Release is the national centre of expertise on drugs and drugs law – providing free and confidential specialist advice to the public and professionals. Release also campaigns for changes to UK drug policy to bring about a fairer and more compassionate legal framework to manage drug use in our society.”

Release have launched this new public awareness campaign, please visit their site for more details. Its sensible, logical and very true.

And click here for the The Guardian’s take on the campaign.

Could this be the first step in the right direction? Let’s hope so!

Update 10th June 2009:
Since posting this a few days ago, the ad campaign has been censored by advertising regulators and taken down. Click here to read more.

If you’re not familiar with 420 (four-twenty), click the above link. Its practically a national holiday in America and if we’re lucky, it could very well catch on here in the UK.

America is usually several steps ahead of the UK and the US’s attitude to cannabis is a great example of this fact. Its where the pointless “war on drugs” began and it just might be where it ends too.

Since Obama got hit with a “legalise cannabis question” from an overwhelming number of people online, all of America is rolling with frenzied momentum towards legalising this hippy’s favourite plant.

The O-man shouldn’t have been so dismissive of such a serious and relevant question, but he’s a popular politician so he can’t be seen to be soft on drugs.

That hasn’t prevented Senator Ron Paul, who is also a popular politician, from calling for an end to the war on drugs, but he is a hero and libertarian and not afraid to express an opinion.

American Conservative magazine can see the pace of change regarding cannabis laws in America. And the conservative right seem down with it too.

Even the mainstream press is getting in on the act, with Time Magazine asking and answering, “Why Legalising Marijuana Makes Sense”.

Not only that, Time Magazine also asks and answers, “Is Pot Good For You?” Of course it is!

Why the sudden shift in America?

Two things right now are forcing people to rethink their stance on cannabis in the states, one of which already applies here in the UK.

Its the economy, stupid.

With this whole recession/depression nonsense, can anyone disregard the effect a legalised cannabis market would have on a nation’s GDP?

Legalising weed, in an instant, would create legitimate jobs that would be taxed, not to mention a tax on the actual product itself. It would raise a lot of money and fast.

Wait, let me revise that. It would bring an already established and thriving black market economy into the mainstream. Ka-ching!

Its been said that if weed were legal and 420 were a proper holiday, it would have the same sort of effect on the economy as xmas. Ka-double-ching.

Weed smokers would willingly be taxed in return for not being criminalised, so says Salon Magazine. I sure as hell would be ready to pay tax on my dope, if I didn’t have to worry about being arrested for toking!

The other problem in America is one that hasn’t reached Europe yet, but it could in the future and that is gang related violence.

The southern border of America is where the real drug war is taking place, but not between law enforcement and criminals, but between rival drug gangs. Police on both sides of the border have been ineffectual and possibly corrupt, when they’re not getting caught in the crossfire. The death toll is sadly, quite high and its bad for business on both sides of the border.

The trouble on America’s border is forcing people to realise that the drug market should be under some sort of government control and regulation, for without that, it leaves criminal gangs running the show.

Just as the prohibition of alcohol in the states in the early part of the last century created gangsters like Al Capone, the prohibition of drugs created Pablo Escobar and those like him who control the industry today.

America’s finally grasping that legalising cannabis would solve more problems than it could ever create. By legitimising an existing industry, America will reap the rewards financially and it would help create a new stability along the Rio Grande.

Check out this report from the very respected Cato Institute, which looks at the positive effects of the decriminalisation of all drugs in Portugal. Its very enlightening and worth a quick read.

You’ll notice in all of debate and discussion in America, there hasn’t been any talk of cannabis-induced psychosis or schizophrenia, nor the demonisation of the stronger strains of cannabis known as “skunk”. That’s because its all spin and bullshit created here in the UK to allow our politicians to use weed as a political football that scores easy own-goals with the ill-informed electorate.

In the states, stronger weed is prized and celebrated for being particularly “medicinal” and is seen to be more beneficial, not less. There are no “cannabis hysteria mums” and no mention of unproven links to mental illness. Remember, a former Surgeon General in America (C. Everett Coop if memory serves), called marijuana “the most therapeutically beneficial substance known to man”.

Confusion continues to reign where cannabis policy is concerned here in the UK, with random, pointless changes in classification and penalties every couple of years whether we need them or not.

Even the government’s own drug counselling service, Ask Frank, is telling younger callers that “cannabis is safer than alcohol.” Its completely true and in line with what the experts say, but its inconsistent with the government’s own stated policy, which of course, ignores the advice of the aforementioned experts they employ.

There are already whispers in Whitehall, many politicians here can see the scrawl on the wall, but are wondering how to right all of the wrongs of the last few years. The government has used the media to paint a totally false picture of the dangers of cannabis, so how do they turn it back around?

Simple, just let the lies quietly fade away and replace them with the promise of cold hard cash.

Is it going to take open gang warfare on the streets of Britain for our leaders to deal with cannabis responsibly? I hope to god it doesn’t come to that, but I don’t see any other way for them wake up and start dealing with reality.

The Guardian published a great report last week, which states that ending the prohibition on drugs would save the UK around £14 billion pounds. That’s an amount that can’t be ignored, especially in these difficult economic times. Law enforcement, the penal system could all be overhauled and the resources could be redirected to actual crimes with victims and everything…!

They’re searching for the green shoots of recovery, perhaps cannabis is literally the cash crop greenery we’ve all been seeking.

And maybe one day, we’ll all be able to openly commemorate 420 in the manner appropriate to the event. And that’s exactly what this hippy is going to do right now, as I spark up a juicy, skunky spliff.