The northlondonhippy

This is a post mainly about Twitter.

I like Twit­ter, I find it incred­i­bly use­ful. Its become my go-to source for cur­rent infor­ma­tion and you’ll often find me get­ting my tweet-fix peri­od­i­cally through­out the day.

I’ve been using it that way for about 2 years, since I got my iPhone 3G and played around with the early Twit­ter clients avail­able at the time. I had a dif­fer­ent account back then, one that I sub­se­quently deleted.

Why?

Because like many peo­ple, I really didn’t get Twit­ter at first. I didn’t know where to start. I tried to dive into the deep end, before even read­ing a pam­phlet on how to swim. I expect this expe­ri­ence is not uncommon.

I did con­tinue to flirt with Twit­ter, search­ing for top­ics of inter­est, or using the iPhone GPS to search for tweets local to me. It worked, to a point, but I really wasn’t that engaged or con­nected to any of it.

Around 6 months after my ini­tial explo­ration, Twit­ter started to make more sense. It didn’t hurt that the main­stream media was start­ing to get on the Twit­ter band­wagon. I learned more about Twit­ter and it started to make sense to me and in Jan­u­ary 2009, I signed up for another account, which is my cur­rent one: @nthlondonhippy

I now fol­low over 1,000 accounts. I thought about tweet­ing to mark this mile­stone, since peo­ple are always tweet­ing when they reach big round num­bers of fol­low­ers, I thought it would ironic and amus­ing to tweet the exact oppo­site by brag­ging about the num­ber of accounts I fol­low. Its funny, because all num­bers on Twit­ter are unim­por­tant, how many fol­low­ers you have, how many you fol­low, the num­ber of tweets you’ve sent, it doesn’t matter.

What mat­ters is what you get out of Twitter.

When peo­ple I know ask me about using Twit­ter, that’s usu­ally my first ques­tion back to them: What do you want to get from Twit­ter? Most of them don’t know, because they don’t know what Twit­ter can offer.

It offers a lot, it offers every­thing. It offers far more than you could ever want or need and with­out some sort of focus on what you hope to gain, you’ll never get any where with it.

I take a lot from Twit­ter, but that which I take is will­ingly given. What I really mean by that is that many of the 1,000 plus accounts I fol­low belong to web­sites and are tweeted, not by peo­ple, but by ser­vices such as TwitterFeed.

When a web­site updates with a new story, or blog post, a tweet is gen­er­ated by Twit­ter­Feed via the website’s RSS feed. My web­site does this and these days most do. When I post this finely crafted and immi­nently rel­e­vant bit of copy to my web­site, it auto­mat­i­cally updates its RSS feed, which is then picked up and tweeted within 15 min­utes or less via my Twit­ter account. I’m not going to get any more tech­ni­cal than this, so don’t worry.

There is so much use­ful infor­ma­tion avail­able on Twit­ter, what­ever your par­tic­u­lar inter­est, its just a ques­tion of start­ing an account for your­self and look­ing for inter­est­ing sources to fol­low. This takes time and some per­se­ver­ance, but the rewards are immense.

But Twitter’s not just about the lat­est news, its also about what real peo­ple, like you and me (I’m not actu­ally real) had for break­fast. This is where I fail at Twitter.

I’m nowhere near as engaged with indi­vid­u­als on Twit­ter as I should be or as I would like to be. I’ve come to the con­clu­sion that social media is just an exten­sion of nor­mal, real world soci­ety and if you are socially awk­ward in the real world, then you’re going to be socially awk­ward online.

I don’t mean I am some sort of unwashed pariah, fart­ing and belch­ing when­ever I’m in the com­pany of nor­mal folk, I save that for when I’m in the com­pany of super­mod­els. What I mean is, I’m quite a loner in real life, happy with my own com­pany and the world inside my head. I only really have a few peo­ple close to me and that’s prob­a­bly been true my whole life.

I don’t actively seek out indi­vid­u­als with sim­i­lar inter­ests to fol­low on Twit­ter, and I should. I would say most of the peo­ple I fol­low on Twit­ter, I didn’t find, they found me and I fol­lowed them back. I don’t actively look for peo­ple to fol­low with the same vigour I seek out news and infor­ma­tion sources. I’m com­ing to realise this is a mistake.

By my own admis­sion, I take a lot from Twit­ter, but now I would like to try to give some­thing back.

Here’s my cun­ning plan:

On Weds 16 June 2010, I will be con­duct­ing the very first #help­ful­hippy day. For the entire day, I will be avail­able on Twit­ter to help other users in any way I can, whether they fol­low me or not. I will be actively, pos­si­bly even aggres­sively, search­ing for unan­swered ques­tions and other pleas for assis­tance and doing my best to help out.

I won’t be directly pro­vid­ing cash, drugs, hook­ers or any­thing else peo­ple really need, but it is my sin­cer­est hope to, in what­ever small ways, lend sup­port, offer assis­tance, exper­tise and advice to any­one I can.

Maybe you need some­one to retweet a char­ity plea because you’re look­ing for spon­sors for your 10K run, or per­haps you’re strug­gling to remem­ber the name of an actor from an obscure film you saw. Maybe you just need some­one to tweet with you, I can do that. If its within my abil­i­ties and I can help via a tweet or two, I will.

I don’t know if this will be suc­cess­ful and at the point I’m not too wor­ried about that, I am going to be here ready to help regard­less of how it goes. I’m not going to be shy, either. I’m aim­ing for pos­i­tive, life-affirming inter­ac­tions with as many peo­ple as pos­si­ble. I want to con­tribute some­thing, I want to pay back some­thing to Twit­ter, because I think my debt is too high.

Play­ing along at home couldn’t be eas­ier, if you think I can help with some­thing, tweet me (any time, not just next Weds) at @northlondonhippy and I’ll see it. Or you can use my spe­cial hash­tag that I will be tag­ging all of my tweets that day with: #helpfulhippy

Think of this as not only me try­ing to give some­thing back, but also an exper­i­ment in social engage­ment. If it does work, this won’t be the last time I attempt some­thing like this.

So remem­ber, this is hap­pen­ing next Wednes­day, 16th June, from when­ever I wake up, till when­ever I go to bed, exclud­ing breaks for the toi­let and pay­ing for take-away deliv­er­ies. You didn’t think I was going to cook too, did you?

I just want to share a few obser­va­tions about the iPad, now that I’ve had a cou­ple of days to fon­dle mine. Believe the hype.

I’m not going to give you a full review of it, there’s already been count­less detailed run-throughs of the iPad from peo­ple who’ve had them for ages. I got mine on Fri­day, UK launch day, so I know I’m late to the iPad party.

The first thing I really noticed was how ridicu­lously thin it is, its easy to hold but a lit­tle heav­ier than you might expect. Its also easy to sit in a com­fort­able nor­mal posi­tion on the sofa with it propped in your lap, bal­anced with a light one handed grip.

What I fore­see is a mar­ket for lap-pillow like stands, that keep it at a com­fort­able view­ing angle, while let­ting it rest securely with­out using your hands. For watch­ing films and videos, some­thing sim­ple like that would be ideal.

The screen is bright and extra­or­di­nar­ily sharp, hi-res colour pho­tographs look unbe­liev­ably crisp and clear with vivid, deep colours. Video also looks good, though its all been in stan­dard def for me so far.

Web­sites fill the screen smoothly, there’s no need to pinch and zoom to see or read any­thing. Like the iPhone, the inter­face is respon­sive and smooth.

It is a fin­ger­print mag­net, more so than my iPhone 3GS, which shares the same oleo­pho­bic coat­ing, but doesn’t seem to be as notice­able because of its smaller size. Keep a microfi­bre cloth nearby, or a lens cloth from any cam­era shop.

Apple’s case (or some­thing sim­i­lar) is absolutely an essen­tial acces­sory. The Apple Case for iPad is very well designed, its sim­ple to secure the iPad inside it. It is very thin and doesn’t add much addi­tional weight, but pro­vides extra pro­tec­tion and flex­i­bil­ity, allow­ing you to posi­tion the iPad for upright, wide screen view­ing, or angling it on a desk for more com­fort­able typ­ing. Its folio-style, with a flap that cov­ers the screen while dou­bling as a sort of reen­forced kick-stand. Its very good.

There are already a lot of iPad opti­mised apps out there, I’ll men­tion a few quickly that have grabbed my attention:

- Wun­der Radio — an inter­net radio sta­tion aggre­ga­tor that seems to offer just about every inter­net sta­tion in the world. It also uses GPS to gen­er­ate a list of local sta­tions and it did very well find­ing them around me. The audio streams are high qual­ity, there’s iTunes tag­ging for sta­tions that sup­port it and the inter­face is clean and easy to use.

- Air Video — I know this one is on the top of many people’s lists and for good rea­son, it works very well. Air Video let’s you stream just about any video file from a Mac on the same net­work, con­vert­ing the video on the fly as you watch. I’ve streamed .avi’s, MP4’s and hi-def MKV’s from my Mac Mini to the iPad already with­out any lag or drop out. You do need to install a small piece of soft­ware on the host Mac to act as server and point it to your video direc­tory in the Finder, but once you do that the iPad finds the server auto­mat­i­cally. From there you nav­i­gate to your film or tv show, and after a very quick buffer time of 5–10 sec­onds, the video is deliv­ered to your iPad. I already had this one for the iPhone and a recent update made it iPad friendly too.

- News­Rack — has been my RSS reader of choice for a while on my iPhone, with its sim­ple inter­face and abil­ity to sync with my Google Feed Reader account, it works very well. Now opti­mised for the iPad, the same app is serv­ing dou­ble duty for me, at no extra cost. News­Rack uses the extra screen real estate to good effect, giv­ing you a left col­umn for your feeds and a large read­ing win­dow on the right side. You can also open links within the app.

- Pin­BallHD — bought this one yes­ter­day on the strength of the reviews and sales in the iTunes app store, glad I did. The graph­ics and game­play blew me away and am find­ing it very addic­tive. Haven’t really played or bought many games for my iPhone, but I can see how much bet­ter the iPad is for play­ing any­thing because of its larger size.

The iPad is prob­a­bly more dis­rup­tive than any­one has realised yet, its an entirely new class of device. Other man­u­fac­tures will be try­ing to catch up, this form of com­put­ing is going to explode in pop­u­lar­ity. It can replace so many dif­fer­ent devices, not just lap­tops or net­books, but portable radios, portable TVs and DVD play­ers, MP3 play­ers, portable game con­soles, e-readers and prob­a­bly a mil­lion other things I haven’t even thought of yet. It is so thin, so light, so easy to carry along with you, the temp­ta­tion to never put it down is immense.

Is it an essen­tial? No, not if you already have some sort of com­puter, but as lux­u­ries go, it pretty damn use­ful. If you’re think­ing about tak­ing the plunge, all you need to do is spend 5 min­utes using one and you will be ready to dive in deep.

SKY ONE on Mon­day 24th May 2010 at 5am Lon­don time, its being broad­cast at the same time view­ers on the West Coast of Amer­ica will be watch­ing. How cool is that?

I will be awake and watch­ing, what about you?

You might not have heard, but there’s a gen­eral elec­tion here in the UK on Thursday.

That is, you might not have heard if you’ve been in a coma, but even if you’ve been semi-conscious, it would be dif­fi­cult to have missed it with the blan­ket cov­er­age avail­able on every media platform.

This has been one of the most inter­est­ing cam­paigns in decades and one of the most enter­tain­ing. With just a few days ago, there is no cer­tain out­come and pre­dic­tions vary widely on what sort of gov­ern­ment we might be wak­ing up to come Fri­day morning.

Cool by me, I enjoy uncer­tainty and I like the up-in-the-air-ness of the whole thing. I watch the daily polls rise and fall with amuse­ment, because any sen­si­ble per­son knows the only poll that mat­ters is the offi­cial one on Thurs­day. All the rest are just idle spec­u­la­tion and spin.

The truth is, you can’t really trust most of the polls, because the data is weighted and manip­u­lated before it is released, usu­ally to reflect the bias and opin­ion of the media out­let who com­mis­sioned it. Yes, I’m look­ing at you News Inter­na­tional, your stilted cov­er­age and unbri­dled analin­gus per­formed on the Tories has been shame­ful. Ol’ Rupert Mur­doch anointed David Cameron as the cho­sen one and all of his news­pa­pers and his TV news chan­nel went about craft­ing a nar­ra­tive that tried to assure an out­right Con­ser­v­a­tive victory.

How’s that work­ing out?

Pos­si­bly not as well as they had hoped, as the polls sug­gest the Tories are only slightly ahead, with strong pos­si­bil­ity of no out­right major­ity. Ooops.

I think one of the biggest sur­prises for me in the cam­paign is how dis­ap­point­ing Cameron’s per­for­mances have been, espe­cially at the leader’s debates. I really expected Dia­mond Dave to walk this elec­tion, but he is not nearly as charis­matic or mag­netic a speaker as I would have expected. Part of their poor show­ing in the polling is down to this.

This elec­tion isn’t about pol­icy, though of course it should be, but it is about per­son­al­ity. Cameron has revealed him­self as lack­ing in that department.

And speak­ing of some­one com­pletely void of per­son­al­ity, have you caught Gor­don Brown lately? Just look at his forced, fake, uncom­fort­able smile; I have a the­ory (that I’d be happy never prov­ing) that he has the same expres­sion on his face when he smiles as he does when he is tak­ing a dump.

I have never been a fan of Gor­don Brown.

OK, that’s an under­state­ment, I detest him and have him a vocal and vit­ri­olic critic of him since he assumed power. I can never for­give him for pub­licly labelling cannabis a “deadly drug”, prop­a­gat­ing other false claims about it and ignor­ing all the advice, sci­en­tific and oth­er­wise by re-classifying cannabis to Class B.

Gor­don con­tin­ues to go on and on about the “global finan­cial melt­down” which he claims can only be fixed if he remains in office. Well, there’s some logic to that, because as he was Chan­cel­lor for so many years, he must feel very respon­si­ble for the mess he cre­ated and he would like to mop it up. No thanks.

Brown really showed how deeply nasty he is to the core, with his shame­ful treat­ment of Gillian Duffy, who by all accounts seems to be the sort of salt-of-the-earth Labour Party sup­porter that has kept them in the game for a very long time. If he treats his base with this much con­tempt and scorn, imag­ine what he must think of the undecided.

I feel sorry for the poor saps who have to media-manage Brown on a daily basis. What­ever you’re get­ting paid, its prob­a­bly not enough by half. Wran­gling that sour­puss from appear­ance to appear­ance would destroy the soul of the strongest PR flack.

The one good thing about Brown’s piss-poor per­for­mance dur­ing this cam­paign has been my absolute vin­di­ca­tion that he would drag the Labour Party into the polit­i­cal wilder­ness for generations.

They had sev­eral chances to replace him and they lacked the courage and balls to do it. Now they will suf­fer and get what they deserve, a com­plete dec­i­ma­tion at the polls on Thurs­day. It will be the worst show­ing by Labour in his­tory, any other MP from the party wouldn’t have done as badly as Gor­don. They really only have them­selves to blame.

I like being right and I love say­ing “I told ya so”.

Hey Labour.… I told you if you stuck with Gor­don, you’d be fucked. Yep, I TOLD YA SO!

Oh that felt good!

I’ve always been a big fan of the Lib­Dems, if not an out­right sup­porter. Their poli­cies seem to be anchored in real­ity, with a healthy dose of com­mon sense. We could use both of those qual­i­ties in government.

The best exam­ple I can site is their drug pol­icy, which in their man­i­festo, loosely says that they would take a sci­en­tific and evi­dence based approach. In prac­tise that would mean they would fol­low closely the advice of their advi­sors, in this case the ACMD.

Tak­ing it fur­ther, in pre­vi­ous state­ments, the Lib­Dems have sup­ported decrim­i­nal­is­ing or legal­is­ing cannabis, though with all the bull­shit media non­sense over the dis­cred­ited research into the (very much unproven) link between weed and psy­chosis, they haven’t men­tioned it recently. I don’t blame them as it would only be used against them as a sign of weakness.

The Lib­eral Democ­rats are not a weak party, they are actu­ally the strongest on sen­si­ble poli­cies that work towards the com­mon good and ben­e­fit the most peo­ple. It takes strength to fly in the face of con­ven­tional (media) wis­dom and openly declare that the “war on drugs” is an absolute fail­ure that does more harm than the drugs them­selves. The Lib­Dem party is the one party that’s not afraid of speak­ing the truth.

They’re also not aligned with big media or big cor­po­ra­tions, they seem to be more inde­pen­dent of the estab­lish­ment and there­fore more able to do good for the coun­try, rather than serv­ing spe­cial interests.

Nick Clegg has impressed every­one and made them sit up and take notice of his party. Its about time they get taken seri­ously. Clegg has also fright­ened the two “old par­ties”, which has been fun to watch as they both mount attacks him.

The leader’s debates have truly changed the face of pol­i­tics in this coun­try, see­ing Clegg go toe-to-toe with the other two showed the nation in a very tan­gi­ble way that there is an alter­na­tive to old-style pol­i­tics. After thir­teen years of Labour gov­ern­ments, this coun­try is in des­per­ate need of a change.

The Lib­Dems are the only party that really offers that change.

The Tories won’t change any­thing so much as bring back a same­ness. They don’t have any new ideas or energy or per­son­al­ity. Don’t vote for them.

Gor­don Brown is a mega­lo­ma­niac dic­ta­to­r­ial buf­foon and embar­rass­ment to the nation, but the rea­son not to vote Labour is sim­ple, one word: Iraq. This is the party that dragged this nation into an ille­gal and point­less war, for absolutely no good rea­son. And they lied to us about it, repeat­edly and they still do. They deserve to come in third or worse.

A vote for the Lib­Dems is a vote for change and a vote for a brighter future.

Peo­ple say they can’t win with an out­right major­ity, but they could if every­one voted their heart. If you think the Lib­Dems are the best choice, and I believe a lot of you out there do, then vote for them. You are NOT throw­ing your vote away on a minor party, real change comes from peo­ple hav­ing the strength of will and con­vic­tion to not fear change. If every­one who sup­ports them fol­lows through on elec­tion day, then Nick Clegg could be the next Prime Minister.

More likely, if you believe the polls, is that we are headed for a hung par­lia­ment and the pos­si­bil­ity of a coali­tion gov­ern­ment. There are worse things that could happen.

Many other coun­tries have coali­tion gov­ern­ments, formed by oppos­ing par­ties. Guess what hap­pens? They learn to work with each other and com­pro­mise and things get done. You have noth­ing to fear from this out­come and maybe we all might even ben­e­fit from the mix of the strongest ideas from both par­ties involved.

But which par­ties? That’s the real question.

If I was going to gam­ble on the out­come, I would say a Tory-LibDem coali­tion, with Cameron in charge and a healthy mix of both par­ties in the cab­i­net. I could live with that.

Less likely and cer­tainly less appeal­ing would be a Labour-LibDem gov­ern­ment with some­one other than Brown as PM.

And at the very out­side and many would say implau­si­ble, a Tory-Labour gov­ern­ment. I have this weird the­ory that these two polar oppo­sites (who really aren’t that dif­fer­ent) could do a deal with each other to lock the Lib­Dems out. Maybe its not as impos­si­ble as it sounds and if it does hap­pen, won’t I look like the poly-sci genius?

What­ever hap­pens, of one thing I’m cer­tain, come Fri­day, Gor­don Brown will no longer be Prime Min­is­ter and will go down as one of the most unpop­u­lar, unsuc­cess­ful, worst PM’s in history.

YouTube user “grow­glass” has posted four videos of my beloved RooR NLH Deluxe bong being used in action. Check it out!

As an exper­i­ment, I have restored the facil­ity to com­ment on my posts. I’ve done this because I am test­ing out a new plug in that is sup­posed to deal with spam comments.

That’s the rea­son com­ments were dis­abled, because of the over­whelm­ing amount of spam com­ments I was receiv­ing on a daily basis. At its peak, I was attract­ing over 1000 spam com­ments a day, for any­thing from porn and via­gra to online casi­nos and life-extending med­ica­tions. It was more than I could keep up with as I had to mod­er­ate each one.

Mod­er­a­tion will con­tinue and I will need to approve any com­ments before they are pub­lished. I will try to approve gen­uine com­ments, good or bad, as quickly as I can. If this spam plug in actu­ally works, I will con­sider turn­ing mod­er­a­tion off.

So that’s it kids, feel free to chip in with your 2 cents and let’s all hope I don’t get hit with more wacky spam com­ment crap. Enjoy!

No doubt you’ve caught the media frenzy sur­round­ing the most recent legal high of choice, mephedrone. Its the lat­est in a long line of legal highs, sold openly and pos­sessed with­out fear of arrest.

Who wouldn’t want a high that was legal? Isn’t that the ulti­mate goal? Sure, booze is legal and will get you absolutely blotto, but so what? Peo­ple want a choice of intoxicants.

I don’t like liquor and if asked, will declare that I no longer drink. Its true, I can’t remem­ber the last time I had even a sip of alco­hol. The hang­overs were just too much to bear. I’m too old for a self-inflicted sore head.

Where does that leave you if you don’t like booze, but you do enjoy alter­ing your state of con­scious­ness? Black mar­ket drugs like weed and coke and smack and MDMA and speed and LSD I guess.

But what if you don’t want to break the law? I’ve already sug­gested vot­ing for lead­ers who would change the laws, but we can’t seem to find any, except for the Lib Dems and if its going to be a hung par­lia­ment any­way, then we should all vote for the Lib Dems so they can have a big­ger share of the even­tual coali­tion government.

But I digress. If you want to get high with­out break­ing the law, you look for some­thing legal.

Until 2005, fresh magic mush­rooms were legal to pur­chase and pos­sess in the UK.

Finally, there was a legal high avail­able that was pro­foundly effec­tive and read­ily avail­able. I shroomed reg­u­larly for a cou­ple of years, every week or two. I was always care­ful, I stayed in a safe, com­fort­able envi­ron­ment (my own home) and had very pleas­ant, enjoy­able times. It was eas­ily one of the best drug expe­ri­ences of my life, I can’t begin to express how much I enjoyed it.

Well, I can and I did, if you read the first cou­ple of years of my out­put here, I rave about shrooms con­tin­u­ally. Taken respon­si­bly and with a rough knowl­edge of the appro­pri­ate dosage, shrooms are rel­a­tively harm­less. You would need to con­sume your own weight in mush­rooms for the dose to be fatally toxic and I haven’t heard about any­one who’s tried.

You could always pick fresh mush­rooms in the wild, pro­vided you knew what you were look­ing for, because the wrong type of mush­room could be fatally toxic at a much lower dosage. But if you were buy­ing them from some­one who could reli­ably tell you the strain, with knowl­edge of where they were farmed and advice on how many to take, you would be much bet­ter off.

And for a few years, we were much bet­ter off, with our safe, easy to buy fresh shrooms. It was bliss.

And then they got very pop­u­lar. And then the media got inter­ested. And then the gov­ern­ment got involved. And then they were banned.

The above para­graph will be repeated again, you will notice, I promise.

And so I did sadly lament the demise of my beloved shrooms because the gov­ern­ment man didn’t want me to have any more fun.

But it was too late, the mar­ket for legal highs had been estab­lished, a decent cus­tomer base still existed. All they needed was another prod­uct, some­thing legal that would fuck you up a bit.

The answer came from New Zealand:

BZP

BZP came as some­thing called party pills, which was a big change from fresh shrooms, it was a man made chem­i­cal of dubi­ous ori­gin. Rumour was it was used for worm­ing pets, but it gave peo­ple a buzz, so we tried it.

It worked. It was quite speedy and a bit spacey, pleas­ant but not over­whelm­ing. There were many brands, legal high forums were brim­ming with reviews to help you choose. Peo­ple were happy to have any­thing that was legal and had an effect.

And then they got very pop­u­lar. And then the media got inter­ested. And then the gov­ern­ment got involved. And then they were banned.

Right around the same time, the first legal mar­i­juana sub­sti­tutes that worked came along, the first was called Spice, which has become a generic term for these drugs. The ingre­di­ents were kept secret, so we didn’t know what the magic herbs we were smok­ing were, but we knew they got us high.

Turns out the herbs weren’t magic, but the JHW-081 they sprayed onto it was. JHW-081 is a syn­thetic cannabi­noid, made in a lab to mimic THC. Sneaky fuck­ers, no won­der it worked.

As if overnight, many dif­fer­ent brands of smok­ing mix­tures came on to the mar­ket, all with a very sim­i­lar weed-like effect. It was legal, but it was also expen­sive, and in some cases pricier than real weed.

Think about that, peo­ple were will­ing to pay more for a legal weed alter­na­tive, than actual weed. That says a lot.

And then they got very pop­u­lar. And then the media got inter­ested. And then the gov­ern­ment got involved. And then they were banned.

In the gloom of my post-legal-shrooms exis­tence, I tried many of these legal highs and a few years ago, I was get­ting these rather delight­ful lit­tle cap­sules shipped in legally from Israel.

They tried to keep the ingre­di­ents a secret, but with a bit of research, I dis­cov­ered it was a chem­i­cal related to cathi­none, which is the active ingre­di­ent in khat, the Africa plant that is used as a stim­u­lant when chewed.

At first, I only ordered a cou­ple and found them quite pleas­ant and quite strong, closer to real MDMA than BZP or the crap that fol­lowed. I ordered a few more, and then a few more.

And then I ordered a lot.

And then I lost a cou­ple of days. No lie, I think my ben­der lasted around 48 hours. Peo­ple were con­cerned, I just dis­ap­peared. It was the most mor­ish drug I’ve ever had and I used to do coke years ago. I kept going until I swal­lowed the last pill I had.

Then I crashed for a cou­ple of days and felt extremely depressed. I was angry with myself for los­ing con­trol, some­thing I rarely if ever do while under the influ­ence of any­thing. I didn’t con­trol this drug, this drug con­trolled me.

It didn’t, ever again. I didn’t touch any more after that. It seemed to tar­get my plea­sure cen­tre with laser-guided pre­ci­sion. No thanks.

Guess what I am 99.9% cer­tain that drug was?

Mephedrone.

Kids, lis­ten to your old uncle hippy, that shit’s not worth it. Its way too mor­ish. It feels absolutely won­der­ful when you’re tak­ing it and you will want to take it end­lessly. You can’t, even­tu­ally the money, or your body will give out and then you will crash. The crash sucks. Its not worth the pleasure.

As much as I don’t like mephedrone, I am merely sug­gest­ing (in strong, unam­bigu­ous terms) that you not take it, I am not sug­gest­ing some knee jerk reac­tionary ban. Actu­ally, I think it makes more sense to keep it legal and out in the open. at least until you have an alter­na­tive to offer.

If the gov­ern­ment can’t offer an alter­na­tive (I sug­gest weed, please), the mar­ket­place will find one. It always does, because we live in a cap­i­tal­ist soci­ety and sup­ply will always try to meet demand.

Oh, and if you’re against sup­ply and demand, even in the illicit mar­ket­place, then you are against the very foun­da­tion of cap­i­tal­ism. So take that all you anti-drug com­mie pinko social­ists! Get on the free mar­ket band­wagon, don’t get in the way of trade!

Ban­ning mephedrone isn’t the answer, unless the ques­tion is: “how can we get another untested, cut­ting edge man-made intox­i­cant into the hands of our chil­dren in the quick­est pos­si­ble time?”

I’ve yet to see one con­clu­sive report of a death being caused directly by mephedrone. I’ve seen lots of bull­shit about it being “linked” to a few untimely deaths, but alco­hol and other drugs have also been in the mix, though that hasn’t been highlighted.

If I drank myself to death right now while eat­ing a banana, you could quite accu­rately state that, until the coroner’s report is issued, my death was linked to eat­ing a banana. I can see the head­lines now, “Ban the Yel­low Scourge”.

Booze kills and kills often, but the alco­hol indus­try spends a lot of money on image and rep­u­ta­tion man­age­ment. When you think of liquor, you don’t think of corpses, do you? No, you think of good times, par­ties and women in tight dresses that you know will have sex with you.

Think about how many times you’ve got­ten pissed, puked your insides out and woke up the next day feel­ing like death, swear­ing you’d never ever do that to your­self again. Until next Saturday.

That’s either effec­tive mar­ket­ing or addic­tion. Or both.

The legal high indus­try isn’t organ­ised, they don’t have a cen­tralised body to speak on their behalf and be their pub­lic face. Its the same for ille­gal highs for that mat­ter. Who rep­re­sents them? Who does their spinning?

No one.

Maybe its time they did.

People’s need to get high, to be intox­i­cated, to alter their state, is not new and its not going away any time soon. There will always be a demand for sub­stances, legal or oth­er­wise, that change your mood.

Recent his­tory has shown that when given the choice, peo­ple pre­fer legal sub­stances, even if they cost more and have less pleas­ant effects than their ille­gal rivals.

If the gov­ern­ment left well enough alone with my old friends, magic mush­rooms, none of us would have ever heard of mephedrone and what­ever might follow.

Go on, if you let us all have legal weed, we can leave all is designer drug shit alone. Please?

I’ve been doing this for six years, today.

Blah, blah, blah, blah blah.

Check out my first ever post from six years ago. CLICK HERE

Happy anniver­sary, fuckers!

Remem­ber the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld?

“No soup for you!”, he would exclaim when he deter­mined some­one was unwor­thy of his tasty broth.

Ever won­der what hap­pened to the Soup Nazi since the TV show went off the air?

He works for Apple, reject­ing iPhone app sub­mis­sions. “No app for you!”, he exclaimed as he con­sid­ered an app from your favourite inde­pen­dent blog­ger and inter­net god.

I mean me.

I don’t get to have my very own iPhone app, the App Nazi says so.

Apple’s recent pol­icy change ban­ning inde­pen­dent blog­gers from sub­mit­ting apps to for pub­li­ca­tion on iTunes is still piss­ing me off.

And here’s the thing, it would still piss me off even if I wasn’t directly effected by their deci­sion. Its wrong to silence any voice, how­ever big or small. We all have a right to express our­selves, on any plat­form we choose, on any sub­ject we choose.

I chose to put an app together to bring my con­tent to the iPhone plat­form. Apple, as the provider of the plat­form, have locked me out.

I should have tried to pub­lish a fart app. Appar­ently, you can’t have too many of them.

It could be argued that my con­tent is already avail­able on the iPhone plat­form, via Safari, the iPhone’s browser. You’d win that argu­ment, its true.

All my app did was present this web­site, along with some other enter­tain­ing con­tent pro­vided and owned by me in a very iPhone friendly for­mat, via a cus­tom designed app. One tap on the northlon­don­hippy icon on your Home Screen and you’d be here, hang­ing out vir­tu­ally with me. No book­marks or URLs, just a clean, easy to read inter­face, with groovy NLH graphics.

It would have cost Apple pen­nies to host my free app. Its not like they’re strapped for cash, they’ve got bil­lions just lying around, doing nothing.

They could shut me up with a cou­ple of mil­lion. Or a free iPad.

But they don’t need to shut me up. Nobody seems to give a shit. I emailed a few tech web­sites and news­pa­pers with my sad tale of Apple app woe. Nobody bit.

Links to my pre­vi­ous entry did get tweeted around Twit­ter and buzzed across Google Buzz, or what­ever the kids are doing these days but I am still wait­ing for a groundswell of pop­u­lar sup­port which would push Apple to recon­sider this very fool­ish, point­less and spite­ful decision.

Apple began in Steve Wozniak’s garage, with Woz and Steve Jobs knock­ing together the first Apple com­puter. Blog­ging is not much dif­fer­ent than that, we’re all out here just knock­ing stuff together. Some make it into the main­stream, some toil in rel­a­tive obscu­rity, but most just seem to give up. Many blogs lie dor­mant after a brief, unsat­is­fy­ing flurry of activ­ity, but not this one.

I know I’m not the most pro­lific blog­ger, but I’m still here and have been for 6 fun filled years. Ok, they haven’t been that much fun, but I am still here.

I’ve been toy­ing with the idea of hang­ing up my hippy hat. This isn’t meant to be a threat or some drama queen strop. I’ve con­sid­ered giv­ing up before, but I’ve always man­aged to find rea­sons to keep going and ended up rein­vig­o­rated at the end of it.

Right now, I just feel tired.

The iPhone app was meant to re-inspire me and it would have, if only briefly. But isn’t that the way this works? You are con­stantly search­ing for new inspi­ra­tion to keep you going.

The weird thing is, for a niche blog that doesn’t get updated very often, I do some good busi­ness. When I look at a graph of my vis­i­tor lev­els, its always an upward incline. I make a bit of dosh too, with my lim­ited adver­tis­ing and solo affil­i­ate scheme.

I’ve recently been spec­u­lat­ing that would still be the case, even if I didn’t post any­thing new. There’s a lot of con­tent on my web­site, six years of spew­ing dri­vel will do that. I could prob­a­bly just let this web­site sit here, do noth­ing and still main­tain my reach.

Yes, I’ve been giv­ing seri­ous thought to giv­ing up and quite stu­pidly, mainly because Apple refused to pub­lish my app. Maybe there is no place for inde­pen­dent blog­gers in the world any more and Apple is just ahead of the curve. If your web­site doesn’t have a staff of 30, then no one takes it seri­ously and you might as well not exist.

What’s a self obsessed weed­head and middle-aged fail­ure at life to do?

If I knew the answer to that one, fuck­ers, I wouldn’t be sit­ting here typ­ing out this shit, would I?

My iPhone app was rejected, again. That’s twice in the last month.

I heard back yes­ter­day. This time, the app has been rejected on the basis that Apple have changed their sub­mis­sion pol­icy and no longer allow apps that “…are solely intended for an indi­vid­ual blog­ger with a small audience…”.

Isn’t that most inde­pen­dent bloggers?

I’ve been blog­ging for 6 years, my anniver­sary is next week. My web­site was never going to be main­stream, but that’s kind of the point of its exis­tence and the exis­tence of most blogs. We cater to niche audi­ence, but an audi­ence none the less.

Are my read­ers less impor­tant than the read­ers of the New York Times web­site? Every reader counts, whether its one thou­sand or one million.

Why does Apple hate me? Why does Apple hate my audience?

Why does Apple hate inde­pen­dent bloggers?

Let’s put this into a bit of per­spec­tive. I invested time and money into cre­at­ing an app that I thought would be of inter­est to my read­ers. The app is quite sim­ple, but well designed, effec­tively cre­at­ing an iPhone-optimised inter­face linked to all my online northlon­don­hippy related content.

There’s noth­ing wrong with my app, it all works smoothly, the design is clean and sim­ple, and the graph­ics are slick and pro­fes­sional. The price, there was none, I wanted to offer it via the iTunes store for free, I wanted to give it away to any­one who wanted it.

So why do Apple hate me?

They shouldn’t, I am an unashamed Apple fan boy.

Cur­rently, in the room I’m sit­ting in, there’s a 27” Quad Core iMac, a Core Duo Mac Mini, A Core Duo black Mac­Book, an iPhone 3GS, an iPod Touch, an Air­port Extreme, sev­eral Air­port Expresses, I use Final Cut Express and Logic Stu­dio and iWork, I buy apps, music and films.…

You get the idea, I own a lot of Apple kit and just because they hate me, doesn’t mean I won’t con­tinue to pur­chase their toys. iPad, you are next on my list.

And I don’t just buy a lot of Apple stuff, I rec­om­mend it to my friends and am respon­si­ble for count­less sales to many recent converts.

Apple should love me, like I love them, they’re like that girl who gave you a drunken pity hand­job once, but now looks at you with dis­gust when­ever you run into her sober and you keep hop­ing you’ll catch her a bit pissed again, but you never do. The desire is all one way and it only ever ends in bit­ter disappointment.

I praise Apple on my web­site and won’t stop just because they hate me. I can han­dle rejec­tion, I’m used to it.

In short, there’s noth­ing wrong with my con­tent, includ­ing all my weed related entries. Apple don’t have a prob­lem with cannabis and there are sev­eral mar­i­juana related apps avail­able on iTunes, includ­ing one that will direct you to the near­est med­ical dis­pen­sary. Mine’s appar­ently in Ams­ter­dam, last time I checked.

So why do Apple hate me?

Why does Apple hate all inde­pe­dent bloggers?

I’ve writ­ten a cou­ple of nov­els, and was watch­ing with great inter­est to see if Apple would have a route for inde­pen­dent pub­lish­ers to get books on to their upcom­ing iBook Store for the iPad, but now I am not so sure.

If Apple are cen­sor­ing iPhone apps to the point where they won’t con­sider sub­mis­sions from inde­pen­dent blog­gers, is there any point to me invest­ing more time and money devel­op­ing my eBooks for the iPad, only to have Apple change their poli­cies suddenly.

Maybe you think a northlon­don­hippy iPhone app is a bit point­less, maybe I do too, but that’s not what’s impor­tant. What’s impor­tant is free­dom of speech and expres­sion and if I wish to bring my mes­sage as an inde­pen­dent blog­ger to an estab­lished, pop­u­lar mobile plat­form, I should be able to do so, with­out any imped­i­ment from the cor­po­ra­tion who sup­plies the plat­form. What’s wrong with giv­ing the lit­tle guy a chance?

It would be like Sony ban­ning you from watch­ing home­made videos on your tele­vi­sion, only Sony Pic­tures DVDs would dis­play on the screen, but not your hol­i­day or wed­ding videos.

Maybe no one would have down­loaded my app, maybe mil­lions of peo­ple would have, but I’ll never know. Apple have killed it, dead in its tracks for no good rea­son other than on a whim they have decided to lock all inde­pen­dent blog­gers out of the app store.

Will Apple recon­sider? If peo­ple make enough noise they might. It wouldn’t be unprece­dented, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

All I wanted to do was expand my online reach, just a lit­tle. I invested time, I invested money, but more impor­tantly I invested my hopes and dreams on a lit­tle iPhone app that I could call my own. I would never have guessed that this lit­tle dream would become a night­mare of cen­sor­ship and unchecked cor­po­rate power.

Does Steve Jobs know about this? If he finds out, he’s going to be mighty pissed off.