And, my fellow earthlings, I tried to convince everyone that we are all Citizens of Everywhere. It’s our only hope.
There’s not a lot to be optimistic about these days, but we can all distract ourselves from the mess we’re in. My distraction, ironically, is hope. Don’t lose hope, we can all help make things a little less miserable. This is my attempt to do just that.
I received my first Twitter ban today. I can still read tweets, but I can’t like them and I am not allowed to tweet for 12 hours. So don’t blame me if you don’t know what I had for lunch today.
It was a Chicken Caesar Salad. Now you know.
All I did was call Donald Trump a cunt. Even though I stand by my comment, which will be reproduced below, Twitter forced me to delete it. My knuckles feel well and truly rapped.
Bad hippy! Naughty hippy! You called the worst human being in the world, a bad, naughty word.
I’m not exaggerating, I really believe Trump is the worst person on the planet. Imagine having all that power, all that influence, a platform and pulpit do actual good, to, bring good into the world. And instead, you tweet this kind of bullshit:
This is not presidential.
The President or the United States is celebrating the burglary of a political opponent’s home. This is the state of America in 2019. It’s beyond satire, it is beyond a joke. Every tweet from this human cesspool sets a new low. He is a bottomless pit of toxicity and poison. He pollutes everything with his infantile rage tweets, a dozen times a day. Do they ever ban him? Do they, fuck! If anyone deserved to be stuck in Twitter’s penalty box, it’s Dumb Donny.
Elijah Cummings is a proper America hero. He has more decency in his little finger than the entire Trump dynasty, even if you went back 10 generations to the Drumfs. Don’t believe me? Wikipedia awaits.
For a serial liar, with more bankruptcies than successes in business, who has 5 kids from 3 wives, who grabs pussies and cheats at everything, who has besmirched and demeaned the the office of President more than Richard Nixon, to attack a man like Cummings, well it got my dander up.
I can’t imagine being gleeful over the the misfortune of another human being, even someone as vile as Trump. I will be gleeful when he is imprisoned, because he deserves it and it won’t be a misfortune. It will be justice. An orange jumpsuit for an orange moron.
Recently, I have been allowing myself the occasional reply to Trump’s tweets. Not because I think ol’ mushroom dick would see them, but for me. I have been expressing myself, via a pressure valve, namely a tweet. Thousands of people reply to his tweets and I can understand why. We all feel so small and helpless in the face of pure evil, we need to respond or it would eat us up inside. I like my insides uneaten, thank you very much.
Wanna see my tweet? The one that got me in trouble. The one I had to delete. Of course you do! Here it is:
Sometimes, decency requires indecent language
I didn’t say anything that was factually inaccurate. I didn’t say anything, I would not say to him in person, if given the chance. I used a naughty word. Ok, technically the naughtiest word, but no other word would do. No other word has that power, not to shock, but to convey rage. It’s the rage-iest. It was the right word, at the right time, for the right purpose.
I’m not sure what the threshold is for a Twitter ban. How many cry baby Trump supporting snowflakes had to report my tweet before I was banned? I don’t know, but it can’t be many, as I was banned within a couple of minutes of sending it.
This is what Twitter said about my tweet: “Your account has been locked for violating Twitter’s rules. Specifically for: Violating our rules against hateful conduct. You may not promote violence against, threaten or harass other people on the basis of race, ethnicity, national origin, sexual orientation, gender, gender identity, religious affiliation, age, disability or serious disease.”
I was framed and plead not guilty!
In what way did my tweet violate any of that? I did not promote violence, threaten or harass in any way. I did insult, but is being insulting against Twitter’s policy? Seems like it is. Unless, being a cunt is considered a disease or disability, I didn’t break their rules.
Clearly some Trump supporting infant didn’t like my naughty words, or they couldn’t cope with the truth, so they reported my tweet to Twitter. It’s not fair. Life is not fair. Whatever. I would do it again. I probably will do it again.
My ban finishes at 3am this morning. I am trying to stay awake till then, just so I can post a link to this piece on Twitter. Instead of one tweet, I’ve written 800 words. Thanks for the inspiration, dumbass. If you didn’t report my tweet, I wouldn’t have been motivated to write this today.
Oh and one last thing: #impeachtrump
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy unless he gets banned again
Great news everybody! The rich are going to survive and thrive during the coming Climate Apocalypse! Yay!
It’s the only explanation I can come up with regarding the institutional inaction and outright denial from much of the ruling class. They think they can use their considerable resources to adapt to the inhospitable hell-scape that is currently in our future. It makes sense, if you think you can survive our increasingly warmer planet, you will do nothing to slow that warming down. Throw another scoop of coal on the fire! Let it burn!
At least three prominent billionaires are publicly working on private space programmes, ostensibly to commercialise outer space. But if you take the vehicular element out of the equation, you know, the rockets, the rest of what they are researching is about surviving in a hostile environment. If you can sustain a community on Mars, you can sustain a community of the surface of our planet, once it is rendered uninhabitable. How could this not factor into their plans?
There is nothing to stop people from building the equivalent of a lunar base, here on Earth. For starters, it would be easier, as you wouldn’t need to transport your materials into space. No need to reach escape velocity to break the gravitational grasp of planet Earth, just truck, ship or fly what you need, to whatever safe site you choose.
Stephen Hawking said we would increase our chances of the continuation of the human race, if we become a multi-planet society. That may still be their goal, but these billionaire can’t count on this, so they must be preparing a way to survive the coming Climate Apocalypse on Earth. If you had billions in the bank, wouldn’t you?
Imagine an underground facility, meant to sustain life for 1,000 years. It would be powered by renewables, have access to a deep water spring, have food production facilities, waste recycling and disposal facilities, air filtration and advanced environmental controls, and it would all be self contained and self sustaining. Think of a cross between a nuclear bunker and a hippy commune. It’s not that far off from what they are hoping to build on Mars one day, only they will be building them here, while the rest of us disappear in the coming Great Die-Off.
I am very pessimistic about the future of the planet. We are doing nothing, while the climate is out of control. Right now, as I write this, there are wild fires in the Arctic Circle. That’s insane. Just last week, record temperatures were broken all over Europe. Out of the 10 hottest years on record, 9 of them happened in the last 17 years. The last 5 years, are currently the top 5 hottest years on record. Betcha 2019 tops them all. This is beyond a worrying trend. This is climate change. This is a climate crisis. This is a climate emergency.
And that’s why today. I am launching. ClimateGearTM.
Look good, feel cool, whatever the climate!
ClimateGearTM aims to create a line of luxury environmental suits to cope with our increasingly hotter, polluted environment. Based on the same designs and technology that sustained men on the moon, 50 years ago, our suits are perfect for the coming climate apocalypse.
Will they be affordable? Of course! For less than the price of a luxury car, you can cheat death while the poor boil in their own skins. And they will come in many colours, to suit all tastes and styles.
Whether you want to nip up to the shops to pick up sunscreen, or to visit the graves of your dead ancestors, ClimateGearTM Environmental Suits will keep you cool and alive in any hostile environment, including the one we are creating here on Earth. Climate change may be the end of our society, but it doesn’t have to be the end of you and your family!
If the super rich can survive all this, it’s time for me to get super rich. These suits are a billion dollar idea. So how many ClimateGearTM suits can I put you down for? I’m taking deposits right now, for delivery mid-2020, while supplies last.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in news.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
Greetings from north London! Thank you for your letter! I hope both you and Grandpa Hippy are well! How are things in Denver?
I am still very envious of the legal cannabis market in Colorado, you and Grandpa Hippy are very lucky! I’ve read how legal cannabis has been embraced by by senior citizens, but I was still surprised to read how much Grandpa has been benefitting from it. And your state has so much revenue from the taxes on it. They have taken in over a billion dollars in tax, in 5 years. That could pay for so much!
And you, Grandma, getting into edibles, I am very impressed you are enjoying them so much. I live in a dry country. While we do have an extensive unregulated cannabis market here in the UK, we lack the choice, quality and safety of your legal, regulated cannabis products.
I dream of day, in the very near future, when cannabis becomes legal and regulated here in the United Kingdom. It’s not like we would be creating a new market, but taking the existing market and legitimising it. Imagine quality checks, potency testing and labelling, a variety of products to suit all tolerances and requirements, some could even be certified organic! The possibilities are endless, as are the opportunities, if only we had a properly pro-business government. And cannabis businesses are some of the fastest growing businesses in the world right now, in a sector that is already worth billions. It is a shame the politicians here ignore all the evidence and cling to silly, discredited thinking about cannabis. “Reefer Madness” never died here in good ol’ Blighty. It is alive and well, and still seeing people put in jail for possession. We are still in the dark ages here.
And as bad as all that sounds, it’s actually even worse because the UK is the world’s number one exporter of medicinal cannabis. That should be good news, well, it is for the people who profit from it, but it does nothing for UK citizens, whose access to medicinal cannabis is so limited as to be described as still having no access to it, at all.
Check out this hypocrisy… either the UK government believes cannabis has medicinal properties, but lies about to its citizens, while allowing its export OR the UK government genuinely thinks cannabis has no medicinal value, but still allows companies to export it, effectively endorsing snake oil. Neither view is particularly flattering. For what it is worth, I subscribe to the former, while if the government could endorse one view, they would prefer the latter. Either way, it’s a terrible situation here, that needs urgently to change.
Thank you again for the invitation to move to Denver to live with you and Grandpa Hippy. Of course, it is tempting, especially with my health and cannabis use, but I think it is more important to stay here in the UK and fight for what is right. And what is right is to insure the people of the United Kingdom have the same access to cannabis, that you have. I know I could move someplace with more suitable cannabis laws, but I think I have a moral responsibility to help change and improve the cannabis laws here.
Write back soon, Grandma. And please send me your medicated brownie recipe! And some shatter! Just kidding, but not kidding, but kidding, but you could try if you want.
With lots of love from your Grandson,
the hippy xx
(In real life, all four of my grandparents have been dead probably longer than you have been alive. But if I did have living grandparents, and they did live in Colorado, or another legal territory, and we did correspond by letter, and I had to send a reply today, this is the letter I would send. Other than imaginary living grandparents, everything in this letter is 100% factually accurate.)
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The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in the industry.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
It’s unbelievable to me, that it has been 50 years, since humans first wandered around on the surface of the moon.
I watched it all live on TV, the launch, the journey, entering lunar orbit, the landing, and those famous, first giant steps. I was 6 and a half years old.
All of the build up and publicity surrounding the 50th anniversary has me probing deep into my brain, to see how much I can recall.
Looking back on it now, I don’t feel like the current media nostalgia is capturing the unprecedented hype of the era. Everything was about space, from films and television programmes, to the artwork on cereal boxes. Nearly all products, and adverts, found a way to have a space-related theme.
I remember one weird product, which was some sort of space food, that came in a tube, like toothpaste. It was chocolate flavour, with the consistency of cake frosting, but fortified with vitamins and minerals. It was exactly as appetising as it sounds. But it was from space! It’s what the astronauts were eating!
Tang. Tang is a powdered orange drink that the astronauts brought with them into space. It was advertised on television constantly. Maybe it still exists, I don’t live in America anymore. It was very sweet and very artificial. But it was from space! It’s what the astronauts were drinking! On the moon!
Can you feel my excitement? I was six and this was the coolest thing human beings had ever done, in the history of human beings.
I remember thinking, now that we have been to the moon, we would start visiting all the other planets. It makes sense, that the progress would continue, exponentially and unhindered. How wrong six-year-old me was back then.
The build up was immense, because I think people have forgotten, there were many Apollo missions before number 11 landed on the surface. The previous missions leading up to it, were also exciting and were covered just extensively. I watched them all, but nothing compared to Apollo 11. It was the culmination of years of anticipation, leading up to this huge event.
I was born into the space age, it really was a thing back in the olden days of my childhood. It was exciting, we thought it would usher in an era of great discoveries and before long, all of our lives would be exactly like Star Trek. I have not seen society have the same level of optimism, since.
Every kid I knew was obsessed with space. We thought we might all travel there one day. I had space themed pyjamas, loads of space toys, a space lunch box, an astronaut GI Joe with a space capsule, an astronaut helmet, and even astronaut space boots. I had it all, as did all of my friends. We played make-believe space mission games too, pretending we were walking on the moon, or fighting monsters on Mars.
What I want to convey to you is this sense of optimism that surrounded all of this, was infectious. If we could send people to the surface of the moon, gosh darn it, we were unstoppable, progress was unstoppable. We could do anything!
Obviously, it hasn’t really quite worked out that way, but at the time, this unbridled optimism was intoxicatingly seductive and it just bought us all a fancy dinner. We were ready for dessert.
On the day of the landing, everyone was excited, not just me. You could feel it in the air. It was on everyone’s mind. It was the first time someone from our planet, from our species, had set foot on another celestial body, in space. Every bit of human ingenuity and knowledge that existed up to this point in time, made this possible. We were a space-faring race, we could now travel the stars.
The lunar lander, the “lem”, as the men in headsets, in Houston called it, landed on the surface of the moon that afternoon, east coast time. “Fire retro rockets”, said ground control. I wasn’t sure what a retro rocket was, but I knew one day, I would be firing my own.
My mother knew I wanted to stay up to see the astronauts climb out of the lem and take their first steps on the surface, which was expected to happen late that night. She understood my desire to witness this momentous moment, but she also knew I was six and a half years old. She encouraged me to have a nap, but naps were for babies and I politely declined. I was far too excited to think about closing my eyes for one single second. Instead, I was glued to the television all day, watching everything.
As the day went on, the anticipation rose. There was rolling coverage on all three national TV networks. Back then, in America that’s all there was, three main channels. I know we were watching CBS, because I remember Walter Cronkite. He was the most trusted man in America at the time. I don’t think America has one of those, anymore.
My entire family was gathered around our RCA 23 inch colour television as the astronauts prepared to step outside. There were 8 of us there, including me. My oldest half brother, his wife and their two very young children, drove over an hour, so we could all be together to watch history unfold. They joined me, both of my parents and my younger brother, who was only 3 years old at the time as we waited for it to finally happen.
This is what TVs looked like in the olden days
As the magic moment approached, my 6 year old eyelids struggled to stay aloft, but I managed to make it all the way to the main event, many hours after my normal bedtime. Adrenaline is an amazing thing.
My eyeballs were glued to the screen, as live images of Neil Armstrong climbing out of the lem and descending down that long ladder were beamed into our family room. I, along with millions of people around the world, witnessed the first human being to set foot on the surface of the moon. One giant step…..
It was a historic moment of human achievement. Perhaps the pinnacle of human exploration and innovation. It’s debatable if we have ever topped it, or if we ever will. It was certainly the most significant world event of my childhood, perhaps even my entire life.
I was so tired, so very tired. My mother ushered me off to bed. She said she was glad I stayed up, glad I got to see this most amazing, historic event. She said one day I would tell my own children about it.
I don’t have any children. So I am telling all of you about it instead.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in the industry.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
A couple of weeks ago, I marked an interesting milestone in my life. I celebrated my 50/50 day.
I can already hear you asking, what is a 50/50 day? Please allow me to explain, as it is a concept of my own creation.
If you’ve read my book, “Personal Use” (getting the shameless plug in early), you will know that I wasn’t always a north London-based hippy, but I began my life on the east coast of the United States of America. I moved to London in the early 90s, when I was my late 20s. I’m mid-50s now.
My 50/50 day is a way I’ve determined to mark my dual nationality, as it is the day where I have lived exactly half of my life in each country. So the first 50% of my life was spent in the states, the 2nd half of my life has been spent in the United Kingdom.
As I know my birthday and the date I moved to the UK, it was fairly straightforward to work out the exact date of my 50/50 day. I simply used an online date calculator that easily counts the number of days between dates. It worked out that I have lived over 10,000 days in each country. Wow.
Ain’t math amazing? And clearly I have too much free time.
But what does it actually mean, to mark one’s 50/50 day? All immigrants must pass this milestone, if they live long enough, so what’s the big deal?
For me, it is a way of honouring my dual heritage and reflecting thoughtfully about it. Don’t tell me I don’t know how to have a good time.
My paternal grandparents were Scottish and they moved to America and that’s where my father was born. My mother’s parents started their lives in Italy, and also moved to America before my mother was born. Both of my parents were first generation American-born, I was second. And then I moved back to Europe. It’s the circle of life, but with jet travel.
So I am half British and all European by birth, but my first nationality is legally American. I hold two nationalities now, as I am now also British, but what does it all mean? Other than a date I can point to as a midpoint in my geographic life, I guess it doesn’t mean that much. I just thought it was a cool thing to work out.
I always like to say, I am an earthling first. It’s what we all are, we are all earthlings. We scurry around on the surface of the Earth, which makes us all earthlings. It’s the one thing we all have in common. It comes before your race, your nationality, and your gender. You are an earthling, most of all.
“Hey, do you live on earth? Me too! That’s a huge thing to have in common. Let’s be best friends!”
We are the sentient, indigenous inhabitants of this planet named after dirt. Envy us, as we may be the smartest things that exist in the universe. Or pity us, as we may be the smartest things that exist in the universe. We may be as good as it gets.
Some say claiming you are a citizen of the world is controversial. Wasn’t it Terrible Theresa May who said it makes you a “citizen of nowhere”? It was.
What Terrible Terri doesn’t understand, and will never understand is that we are all citizens of the world. We are all really Citizens of Everywhere. We all flit about on the surface of this planet and while we may remain behind artificially delineated borders, we all share common hopes and common dreams. There is more that unites us, than divides us, as they say, but we forget this simple basic truth, so easily.
Countries and borders are made up creations. We decided all this nonsense, to keep us apart, when the reality is that we are all Citizens of Everywhere. Who is to say where on the surface of the planet, we are allowed to exist? What if I want to stand over there for a while?
We all need to think in these terms, if we want to have any hope of the continuation of the human race. We desperately need to be Citizens of Everywhere.
That may sound hyperbolic, but it is not. We are rendering the planet uninhabitable and we may reach a point, in the not too distant future, where human life will not be sustainable on Earth any more.
I’m not going to lay out the case for climate change here. I accept it is happening and I believe the official estimates of the rate of change are extremely conservative. It’s much worse than the mainstream media wants to admit. It’s a climate crisis and no warning is dire enough. Though to be fair, I am seeing this view slowly creeping into the mainstream, it’s just not creeping in fast enough. Listen out for the words ‘climate crisis’, they are being used more frequently by the media.
Sometimes, I hang out on a subreddit called r/collapse. It is not happy reading, but everyone deserves the truth. You can check it out RIGHT HERE.
The pessimist in me believes it is already too late, that the damage has been done and there is nothing we can do to reverse our inevitable extinction. But the optimist in me still tries to find some hope. It’s not easy, in the face of the overwhelming evidence, but I try, anyway.
Here’s a clip from a fictional TV show, called The Newsroom, from 2014. At the time of broadcast, it was considered over the top, now it is seen as visionary. Please take 5 minutes to watch.
https://youtu.be/XM0uZ9mfOUI
Our denial over the impeding climate crisis is a bit like our denial of other existential threats in our lives. The easiest example of this, is our denial over death.
What do I mean?
I mean, we all know we are going to die. There is no cheating death, at least not yet. It is the only certainty. We can all expect to shuffle off our mortal coils, eventually. We don’t know when, we don’t know how, but we know one day, we will be gone. And somehow we put all of that out of minds and mostly live our lives with carefree abandon, day after day.
It’s the same with climate change. We put it out of our minds, we accept the gradual and dramatic changes, and we normalise them, quickly. It’s part of our in-built coping mechanism, it’s not a bug, it’s a feature. It’s how we get through every day. But our lack of attention to this detail, you know, that the entire planet is dying, only confirms our fate.
Ut oh.
I’ve been working as a journalist for 30 years, and I’ve been making the same joke in newsrooms for about as long. The joke is that I always hoped I would live long enough to be able to cover the end of the world. Funny, huh?
Now that I am confronted with the actual possibility (certainty?), I don’t seem to be laughing quite as much.
I don’t think the world is going to suddenly end, that’s not what I mean. The planet will still be here, but it will rapidly become inhospitable to almost all life. There may be some bacteria, or perhaps some of the extremophiles will survive, but you can say goodbye to all the plants and animals.
We’re animals, in case you need reminding, so that means bye-bye us.
Gosh, this started out being about me marking my dual nationality, and our global commonality, and somehow it lead me to the climate crisis.
Everything leads back to the climate crisis. It is the existential threat to all of our lives. And it might already be too late.
In that context, my 50/50 day, is pretty insignificant, but I marked it anyway. We all need distractions, even if it is a distraction from the end of the world.
Have a nice day!
PS – If you found any of this upsetting, you are not alone. Check out r/collapsesupport for help with coping. You are NOT alone. Whether we like it or not, we are all in this together.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in the industry.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
If you fall down into a deep hole, there really is only one way out. Up.
Brexit is a bottomless pit of abject stupidity and depressing despair, but we have to assume at some point, we will slam into the very rock bottom. When we do, what will happen?
The only way out is up.
I wanted to get this prediction written down, on the extreme outside chance I am right. If I am, and that’s a big eff-ing if, then I will be seen as a genius of prognostication and you might even want to invite me to your next dinner party. But before I accept, do you have a special smoking area, for, you know, cool smoking? 😉
Here’s how I see things playing out over the next couple of months. I won’t put in any firm timings, beyond the one obvious one… As the law stands, right now, as I bash my keyboard and spew out my scenario, Britain will leave the EU, without a deal, on the 31st of October. Halloween.
Boo!
Did I scare you? You should be scared, because if we crash out on All Hallows’ Eve, it will not be a pretty picture. But I’m not here to debate or outline the calamity that would be a no-deal Brexit. I’m here to explain that unless something miraculous happens, this is the most likely outcome.
But don’t worry, I am also going to outline what that miraculous salvation could be. It might be our only hope. You can thank me later.
Again, as I write this, the Tory leadership contest is still ongoing, with both candidates trying to outdo each other in just how quickly and efficiently they can drive the UK over a cliff edge into a no-deal, must-have, do-or-die, bang -on-time, Brexit.
We live in Crazy Town, population, all of us. Please send help.
Unless a different miracle happens, we are headed for a government lead by Bumbling Boris Johnson. Or should it be Bungling Boris Johnson? How about bumbling on the first reference, bungling on the second? (Note to self, adopt this as hippy house-style from now on).
So Bumbling Boris will almost certainly be our next PM. All Boris has to do to facilitate a no-deal Brexit, is nothing. If he does absolutely nothing, the clock runs out and we leave the European Union, as the current law states at the end of October. We know, from his disastrous spell as Mayor of London, that Bungling Boris is extremely lazy. Doing sweet FA is his specialty. Remember his limp, late response to the riots in 2011? He can handle doing nothing. I bet he is doing nothing right now, this very second. And for this, his advisors are grateful.
But, but, but you say, parliament will bring down the government, if no-deal appears to be the likely outcome. I wouldn’t argue with this, I think that a no-confidence vote is very possible in this scenario. Likely even. And it may very well succeed. But that won’t solve our problems.
A no confidence vote will not solve our problems, because it leaves Bumbling, Bungling Boris, as caretaker Prime Minister. A dissolved parliament can’t force him to request an extension to Article 50, any more than a sitting parliament could. All he has to do is sit on his hands and run out the clock. But that’s not checkmate, not yet.
While an election would strengthen any request for an extension, it would still require a formal request to be made, by the PM, Boris. The EU would not unilaterally grant one, even for an election, without that formal request. If Befuddled Boris doesn’t write to Brussels, an election at this point won’t help. Please see the previous paragraph about Boris sitting on his hands.
Following a successful no-confidence vote, and before an election is called, opposition parties have a fortnight to form a new government with the Queen’s blessing. This is our only small glimmer of hope.
If the other parties could form some sort of government of national unity, they could do two very useful things.
The first is to revoke Article 50.
Sure, the government of national unity could request another extension, but at this point, I fear the EU would politely decline. Could you blame them? After watching this slow-moving car crash for over 3 years, it would make sense for the European Union to effectively tell us to shit or get off the pot.
That would make for a very stark, binary choice, leave without a deal and suffer all that comes with it, or revoke Article 50, sparing the country enormous pain, while alienating a large portion of the general public.
Decisions, decisions.
You might have noticed, I glossed over the whole government of national unity thing. At its heart, would have to be the Labour Party. Yes, the same Labour Party that currently doesn’t have a decisive remain policy. Let’s be honest, their stance on Brexit lacks any real clarity. They have tried to make it be all things, to all people and that strategy has failed.
Labour would be the largest party in this mythical coalition, but the other parties that would help form it, are are all firmly on the remain side, For this to work, for Jeremy Corbyn to be Prime Minister, Labour would have to also come out hard for remain. They would not have a choice. The alternative is that cliff edge, that they claim to want to avoid. This will be their chance to avoid it, once and for all.
A government of national unity, as the name suggests, puts country ahead of party, something our current parliament, and especially the Conservative Party seems to be unable to do. If this all plays out, as I am suggesting, the least worst outcome would be the revocation of Article 50.
And I have crunched the numbers, based on the current composition of parliament. Mathematics follow:
The Tories are a minority government, with 312 seats. The DUP prop them up with their 10 seats, as part of the confidence and supply agreement hammered out after our last election in 2017.
There are 650 seats in parliament, The speaker, plus the 3 deputy speakers, don’t vote. Sinn Fein don’t take their 7 seats, and there is currently one vacancy, so a full house right now is 638. Half of that is 319, a majority of 1 seat is 320. The Tories and the DUP combined, have 322. That’s the current magic number the Tories and the DUP can muster to vote, on a good day.
Labour currently have 247 seats. The next largest party is the SNP with 35 seats, followed by the Lib Dems with 12, Change UK with 5, Plaid Cymru with 4, and the Green Party with 1. Total here is 303, so we are still shy 17 more MP’s to join the fun and games.
There are 15 independent MPs, for the sake of simplicity, I am going to divide that number in half and round it up to 8. It could be less, it could be more, so I think 8 is a reasonable compromise figure. That brings our historic government of national unity up to 311 seats. We are still 12 shy of the magic number, 323, to have more more votes than the Tory/DUP combo.
Tories. We need Tories, less than a dozen of them. Maybe 10, maybe 12, without certainty, I will stick to 9. Based on rumour and voting records, I am banking on there being at least 9 principled Conservative MPs willing to join a government of national unity.
The Brecon and Radnorshire by-election is expected on the 1st of August. I’m not going to attempt to predict the outcome, especially since the pro- remain parties are cooperating. But this one seat, will probably be filled before my scenario will play out. So yes, my calculations are slightly fuzzy. Also, I am not a parliamentary scholar, I’m just some random British journalist and career stoner with too much time on my hands right now.
I am not saying any of this will be easy, or straightforward, but what I am saying is that it is possible. More than possible, but likely. And more than just likely, as I truly believe at this point, it is our one and only hope.
The second useful thing my imaginary government of national unity will do, will be to call another no confidence vote, to bring themselves down. Having done the only thing required of them, by cancelling Brexit and getting all of us out of this very deep hole, it would no longer need to exist and an election could be safely called.
Some MPs would be rewarded, and some would be punished in the next general election, but all of those who supported the government of national unity, will be looked upon by history most kindly, even if some people today, end up hating them.
I have no doubt that our next parliament, and our next government, will be unlike anything we’ve seen in living memory. The Brexit Party will get seats, neither the Tories nor Labour will have a majority, and the Lib Dems may become players again. Maybe the Greens will finally get more MPs. Anything is possible. And we could end up with another coalition government that lacks a big majority and its chief feature would be its inherent instability.
Whatever happens next, Brexit still needs to be dealt with, somehow. There is only one deal on offer, the same one that parliament has repeatedly rejected, the same one that the EU says will not be renegotiated under any circumstances. That deal is dead. And no deal would be a disaster. Our only hope is a government of national unity.
Or the apocalypse, but I am not convinced even the end of the world could end the endless stupidity that is Brexit.
We can’t lose hope. There’s only one way out of a hole. It’s up. And up is the positive direction. So let’s put the up in uplifting. We need a government of nationality unity that will exist for one purpose, to revoke Article 50. So let’s just do that.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a senior multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in the industry.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy – follow him and receive a free gift*)
These are the shocking results of a newly released study linking tea drinking with crime and mental illness: A staggering 98.6% of all murders, rapists, and muggers drink tea! And even more startling, the same percentage of people who develop severe forms of psychosis also consume this pernicious beverage.
This landmark study, funded by ATG (Avoid Tea Group) was conducted over 10 years by a very respected research group based at the King of Fools College in South London and their affiliated organisation, Truly, Madly, Deeply (TMD) Hospital.
(Shhhh, don’t tell anyone, but the ATG is funded by the coffee industry.)
Lead researcher, Dr. I.H. Atedope, has dedicated his life to proving the link between mental illness, violence, crime and the consumption of home brewed, street tea, said this at the launch of this report,
“The link between severe mental illness, violent crime and home brewed tea has been confirmed by this research. Nearly every person we have studied in the last 10 years, has consumed tea. And I am talking about street tea. English Breakfast, Earl Grey, or Oolong, it is known by many names, but its effect on behaviour is profound.
We have seen a sharp increase in street tea consumption in the last several decades, and while rates of violent crime and levels of psychosis have remained steady, we are certain that street tea drinking is behind the fact that the United Kingdom has one of the highest rates of mental illness in all of Western Europe. Coupled with the recent alarming rise in violent crime, the obvious connection between tea and everything bad, is undeniable.
Poverty, austerity, and a lack of opportunity have nothing to do with this. Trust us, we’re scientists! It’s the tea!
(Pointing at slide projected on screen behind him) Look, it’s on a pie chart, you can’t be any clearer than that.”
It should, because this is practically word for word, what ends up on the front pages of our national newspapers, a few times a year, only substitute the word cannabis for tea.
Think about your reaction, reading all of that, about tea. But, but, but, you say, you’ve been drinking tea your entire life, with no ill effects, so this is not even remotely, slightly true. nor could it be.
Guess what? That’s exactly how experienced cannabis consumers react when we read made-up scare stories about cannabis causing psychosis.
Cannabis does not cause psychosis any more than drinking tea could.
Cannabis, or rather certain strains or components, are actually beneficial to many health conditions, including psychosis and other mental illnesses, but because of decades of silly, pointless prohibition, science is falling behind the truth.
There is an institutional bias against cannabis, especially from certain groups and organisations, which means they decide the direction and result of their studies in the planning stages, and interpret the data, to support their predetermined conclusions.
It is a unique obsession here in the UK, but they are trying to spread this nonsense around the world. And it is working, as prohibitionists point to cannabis studies done in the UK as evidence that cannabis causes psychosis.
British drug expert supreme, Professor David Nutt, explains that cannabis use is misrepresented in the UK, saying
Professor David Nutt is a hero
“This fear of cannabis-induced psychosis is a particularly British one, largely because it has received significant support from UK academics. However, the evidential base is weak…”
I have no doubt that there is a a correlation between cannabis and mental illness, as I know from my own personal experience that cannabis is extraordinarily beneficial to relieving many of the symptoms.
But correlation does not equal causation, as noted drug experts, Dr. Carl Hart and Dr. Charles Ksir, are at pains to point out repeatedly. Here’s a long extract from a piece they contributed to the Guardian in January 2019:
“Does marijuana cause psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia, and do associated symptoms like paranoia lead to violent crimes?
As scientists with a combined 70-plus years of drug education and research on psychoactive substances, we find [these] assertions to be misinformed and reckless.
It is true that people diagnosed with psychosis are more likely to report current or prior use of marijuana than people without psychosis. The easy conclusion to draw from that is that marijuana use caused an increased risk of psychosis, and it is that easy answer that [prohibitionists have] seized upon. However, this ignores evidence that psychotic behaviour is also associated with higher rates of tobacco use, and with the use of stimulants and opioids. Do all these things “cause” psychosis, or is there another, more likely answer? In our many decades of college teaching, one of the most important things we have tried to impart to our students is the distinction between correlation (two things are statistically associated) and causation (one thing causes another). For example, the wearing of light clothing is more likely during the same months as higher sales of ice-cream, but we do not believe that either causes the other.
In our extensive 2016 review of the literature we concluded that those individuals who are susceptible to developing psychosis (which usually does not appear until around the age of 20) are also susceptible to other forms of problem behaviour, including poor school performance, lying, stealing and early and heavy use of various substances, including marijuana. Many of these behaviours appear earlier in development, but the fact that one thing occurs before another also is not proof of causation. (One of the standard logical fallacies taught in logic classes: after this, therefore because of this.) It is also worth noting that 10-fold increases in marijuana use in the UK from the 1970s to the 2000s were not associated with an increase in rates of psychosis over this same period, further evidence that changes in cannabis use in the general population are unlikely to contribute to changes in psychosis.”
Yet, in the face of this evidence, these false claims about cannabis continue to be newspaper headlines that dominate the news and people’s consciousnesses.
At best, the science is unclear, and I am being extremely generous with the truth in saying that. But at the worst, all of this is being exaggerated and misrepresented so that users can continue to be demonised and criminalised for absolutely no good reason. It is a tragedy that flawed 20th century thinking is being dragged into the 21st century to cause more misery for millions.
Cannabis isn’t for everyone. Luckily, there is no mandatory programme to force anyone to use it. Thank god, because that means there’s more for me.
It also means if it doesn’t agree with you, you don’t need to have any. But for the sweet love of god, let the people who do need it, or enjoy it, to do so, safely and without the threat of arrest.
I started smoking weed when I was 18 years old. I didn’t know it at the time, but my use was medicinal, even then. I’ve used it effectively to treat my anxiety and depression for nearly 40 years. It’s helped me with back pain, it’s helped me with other ailments. It is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man. That’s not a quote from me, but from a former DEA judge in America. You can find the full quote in my book, “Personal Use”, which is available from all good retailers online and in real life. (This has been a promotional message from the northlondonhippy.)
One of the biggest problems is trying to fight decades of misinformation and lies. People have been force-fed bullshit about weed their entire lives, so when presented with the truth, many don’t know what to believe.
My authority comes from my own personal experience, nearly four decades of personal use of this wonderful plant. I’ve grown it, smoked it, vaped it, ate it, and written about it extensively for over 15 years. Once I even I plugged it up my butt. OK, that last one is a total lie, but the rest, hand on heart, is true.
Cannabis is not the problem. Cannabis is the solution. Whether you’re denying epileptic children their medicine, or stopping responsible adults from having a choice of relaxing intoxicants, the prohibition of cannabis, which was built on a foundation of lies. is a cruel, uncaring policy, that needs to change.
So let’s change it!
The public support a change in our archaic drug laws, science and medicine support a change in the laws too. Even the police would like to see a sensible change to the law. It is only our impotent politicians who are preventing this sensible move.
From creating a new legal industry, with many new jobs, to helping our nation become healthier, legalising cannabis is a win/win for everyone, but it is especially a win for people who are being needlessly criminalised because they consume a plant.
The case for decriminalising and/or legalising is crystal clear. However, the forces of evil that are aligned to keep it prohibited won’t give up easily. Neither will we. Those of us who fight tirelessly to “free the weed” won’t give up either. And unlike the other side, we have all that is right, moral and good behind us. And because of that, we will prevail!
UPDATE:
Just as I was putting the finishing touches on this piece, this story popped up:
Study: Cannabis Use Not Independently Associated With Psychosis In Young People
Thursday, 02 May 2019
Logroño, Spain: Adolescents’ cannabis use history is not an independent predictor of an elevated risk of psychosis, according to data published in the journal Adicciones.
Investigators affiliated with the University of La Rioja in Spain explored the relationship between psychotic-like experiences and cannabis use in a representative sample of over 1,500 Spanish adolescents.
They reported that initially identified associations between cannabis use and psychosis were no longer present once researchers controlled for confounding variables, such as socioeconomic status, alcohol use, tobacco smoking, and comorbid psychopathology.
Authors concluded, “In this study, it was found that after controlling for the effect of the multiple relevant co-variables, the use of cannabis was not related to the frequency and distress associated with psychotic experiences reported by adolescents. … These results suggest that the relationships established between psychotic-like experiences and cannabis are complex and mediated by relevant variables.”
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 15 years. In real life, the hippy is a multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience of working in the industry.
The hippy’s book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s first 35 years of recreational drug taking, while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy – follow him and receive a free gift*)
No, not your herpes. Me! Though perhaps I am just as irritating, only not as itchy
I haven’t written much since I published ‘Personal Use’ around a year and a half ago and my public profile has been practically non-existent.
So what happened?
Real life got in the way of my plans and I withdrew. I haven’t done anything to promote my book in over a year. I still hang out on Twitter, but that’s about it. I have not really been actively promoting ‘Personal Use’ in any meaningful way.
It all started out really well. I was a guest on James O’Brien’s radio show on LBC and off the back of that, I was interviewed by VolteFace magazine. Many copies of my book were sold during this brief period of exposure. And if you bought a copy, thank you very much!
My cunning plan to be a full time hippy was progressing nicely. I was ready to do even more promotion. And then Mrs. Hippy got sick.
I’m not going to go into the details here, but I suddenly became the only earner in my household. And I couldn’t risk getting sacked, so my PR campaign came to a complete halt.
Was I disappointed? Fuck, yeah. Was it the end of my world? Fuck, no.
In the last year, I’ve thrown myself hard into my job. I didn’t have a choice. Any dissatisfaction I had, has been firmly tamped down and I have re-engaged myself fully with my occupation. I pretty much had to reinvent myself at work, out of necessity. It’s actually been good.
But not good enough, I still find myself wanting to do more. What I enjoyed the most about writing ‘Personal Use’ was the actual writing. And what I enjoyed least was the promotion.
I’m not someone who naturally craves attention. In truth, I am the sort of person that hides from attention. I like being invisible and unnoticed. That’s been tricky at work in the last year, as I have been involved in some high profile stuff. People who never heard of me, now know who I am.
So being a full-time hippy hasn’t been an option, but perhaps I can go back to being a part time hippy?
When I finished ‘Personal Use’, I started planning a follow up. I made notes and came up with a title, and then the real life distractions started. I’m hoping to pick up where I left off.
My next book will be entitled ‘High Hopes’ and I have a cunning plan to help focus my attention. I am going to post each chapter as I write it, here on my website. You can all read my rough drafts, which I hope will eventually become my next book. Feedback will be very welcome!
I have a very simple premise for ‘High Hopes’, since ‘Personal Use’ solved the drug problem, I am going to turn my attention to all the other issues which plague our society, And then I will solve them all, as you do.
Yes, my tongue is firmly pressed against my cheek on this one, in case you were thinking I’ve finally lost it completely.
For the record, I lost it decades ago, but I am good at creating the illusion of being a functional human being. I’m still neurotic as fuck, don’t you worry about that.
So that’s my plan, if I can cobble together 25-30 decent essay-like chapters that address society’s most complex and divisive issues, whammo-blammo, that will be my next book.
As I am my own agent, manager and publisher, I haven’t set myself any deadlines. I am keeping the pressure on myself to a bare minimum.
And before you ask, I am a terrible agent/manager. If I was any good at it, I would have secured a better publisher than myself.
So there you have it, the bar has been set, low. Now all I have to do is post stuff on here regularly and before I know it, I will have another book ready to go.
That’s the plan, anyway. Real life has a way of screwing with my plans, so let’s have this conversation in a year or so, and see how it worked out.
Until then, I remain, as always, your loyal and faithful hippy. Dig it, hepcats!
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over 14 years. In real life, the hippy is a multimedia journalist with over 30 years experience in the industry.
The hippy’s first book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s 35 years of recreational drug use while calling for urgent drug law reform. It’s a cracking read, you will laugh, you will cry and you can bet your ass that you will wish you were a hippy too!
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere.
10% of all profits from ‘Personal Use’ will be donated to drug charities, annually.
The hippy has announced his follow-up to ‘Personal Use’, entitled ‘High Hopes’, which currently has no due date or expected date of publication.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy – follow him and receive a free gift*)
Hey ho, remember me, your friendly neighbourhood hippy? I’m also the author of “Personal Use”, a book about my rather extensive experience over several decades with mind altering substances. It’s available wherever good books are sold. You would dig it!
When I published my book, I promised to donate 10% of my profits to drug charities, annually. Now that the book has been out for over a year, I’ve made my first donations.
It wasn’t easy to decide who to give my donation too, since there are so many worthy organisations doing excellent work trying to reform our drug laws. In the end, I couldn’t decide, so I have split my donation between two extremely worthy causes.
The first is LEAP UK, otherwise known as Law Enforcement Against Prohibition. They’re made up of a group of former cops who have seen first hand the damage done to society by our ridiculous drug laws. They know the laws do more damage than any drug ever could and they tirelessly fight to change those laws.
If former cops are telling you the drug laws don’t work, everyone should listen, especially our politicians.
The second charity I’ve chosen is Anyone’s Child. They’re a group run by parents who have lost children to drugs. Drugs can kill people and prohibition makes that more likely. Anyone’s Child would like to see a legal, regulated supply, which would significantly reduce the harms caused by drugs.
To me, this is the sanest response to losing a child. Drug laws don’t prevent drug deaths, but a safer supply definitely would.
While I’ve been as generous as I can be with both charities, I know that both could still use even more money. If you can afford it, both groups are very worthy of your support and donations. You can do it online, quickly and easily.
That’s it from me. Everyone out there in internland, please have a great Xmas and a fantastic New Year. And that’s an order from your old pal, the hippy!
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over a decade. The hippy’s first book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s 35 years of recreational drug use while calling for urgent drug law reform.
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 10% of all profits from this book will be donated to drug charities, annually.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
With the 20th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana rapidly approaching at the end of this month, there’s been a glut of coverage of her life and untimely demise in the media as they try to exploit what could be the last big opportunity to capitalise on her fame.
Well, here I am, doing the same thing, because below is a brief extract from my book, ‘Personal Use’ about the night she died.
But unlike other accounts of that fateful night you may read, your friendly neighbourhood hippy spent the evening under the influence of some very strong blotter acid otherwise known as Lysergic Acid Diethylamide or LSD.
If you enjoy this extract, I hope you’ll check out my book, ‘Personal Use’.
the hippy
9th August 2017
* * *
Extract from Chapter 13, Random Stuff…
The fourth time I took LSD is also the last time I took acid. I remember the date clearly, it was Saturday, 30th August 1997. You’ll understand why that date stands out, shortly.
Mrs. Hippy and I hadn’t been living together that long and we had been out for the evening. We had a nice meal in a restaurant and had come home in a good mood, quite relaxed and chilled. A friend had given me a couple of blotters weeks before and I thought it would be a good night to try it.
Mrs. H had never had any psychedelics before and being the good (or bad) influence that I am, I suggested we sample it. Don’t blame Mrs. H, it was all my idea.
We took the blotters around 10pm and waited for the come-up. It was happy acid, a bit giggly and clean. We were both enjoying it, as we watched TV.
I had cable TV at the time, which meant we had a wide variety of channels to dip in and out of throughout the night. We were transfixed by an infomercial for Toaster Bags. They appeared to be the most ingenuous product ever produced. You could cook anything in these reusable miracles. The guy in the advert was reheating cooked pasta, making toasted sandwiches, all sorts of miraculous acts of kitchen wizardry. If I could have worked the telephone and read out my credit card number, I would have bought half a dozen. And it would have become my exclusive cooking method.
Eventually we ended up on CNN, when the news broke that Princess Diana was involved in a car crash in Paris that night. Shit.
Only a week before, I was at work, instructing freelance cameramen in France to try to get shots of Diana and Dodi Fayed together on holiday. This will come into play shortly, as you will see.
Now, Mrs H was a big fan of Princess Diana. As a young girl, Mrs. H was drawn into the coverage of Diana’s fairytale wedding and nightmare marriage to Prince Charles. She was very upset by the news.
I just wanted to know if she was dead, so I called my office and spoke to the overnight news editor. He was happy to hear from me and begged me to come in and help.
As fucking if! I was in no condition to be in a newsroom, I was on heavy drugs. I giggled and explained this to my friend. You can imagine how impressed he was with me. Oooops. No, no I can’t come in. Coming in would be BAD.
All I wanted to know was if she was alive or not, and as far as my friend knew, she was alive. He told me another friend and colleague of ours, who was a cameraman based in Paris, was already in the tunnel and filming. So I phoned him.
My friend in Paris was jazzed and full of adrenaline. This was a big story and he knew it. He thought I was at work, and I quickly explained my current situation. You know, on heavy drugs, tripping balls, blah blah blah. Just another Saturday night at my house.
I only had one question: Is she alive or dead? As far as he knew, she was still alive.
Finally, the news broke, and it was confirmed that Diana was dead. Mrs. H wailed and cried. She’d lost one of her childhood heroines. She was also on heavy drugs.
Now you can understand why I am so precise about the date. My last acid trip coincided with a event of historic proportions.
And then on CNN, Tom Cruise phoned in. He was talking about the paparazzi chasing him through the streets of Paris, and how dangerous it was. He said the press killed Diana.
Everyone was saying the press killed Diana. A week before, I was shouting down a phone line at someone to get pictures of her, no matter what.
I helped kill Diana, or so the television and my twisted drug-fuelled brain told me. I was part of the problem, along with anyone and everyone who ever worked in the media.
The narrative that the press killed Diana lasted longer than my LSD trip. There are people today who still say the press killed her, but I call bullshit on that.
A drunk, dangerous driver killed Diana. Or the security services, though personally, I don’t buy that because I am not a conspiracy theorist. The most obvious explanation is usually correct and that explanation is a drunk driver.
The next day, I began a run of a week of nightshifts and it was easily one of the worst weeks I’d ever had professionally. My colleagues who were tasked with covering the huge outpouring of grief were spat upon and abused by members of the public, for killing Diana. I don’t think I was ever busier, it really was relentless.
In my LSD hungover state, I felt guilty and I questioned whether journalism was the right career for me. Thankfully, the questioning and the hangover didn’t last long and things got back to normal after the funeral, a week later.
After one of my shifts, Mrs. H and I went to Kensington Palace early in the morning to see the massive floral tribute that had been left there in her memory. Before I saw the flowers, the smell hit me. It reminded me of walking into a funeral home, only more intense. The floral scent was overwhelming, as was the absolute sea of flowers spread throughout the gardens.
I haven’t had any LSD since that night, around 19 years ago. I definitely prefer psilocybin, the active ingredient in magic mushrooms. The high is far cleaner, purer and less artificial. LSD is too speedy for me, but never say never. If the right opportunity presented itself at the right time, I could be tempted to take it again.
And no, please don’t send me any. I try not to take head candy from strangers any more.
* * *
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over a decade. The hippy’s first book, ‘Personal Use’ details the hippy’s 35 years of recreational drug use while calling for urgent drug law reform.
“Personal Use” is available as a digital download on all platforms, including Amazon’s Kindle, Apple’s iBooks and Barnes & Noble’s Nook. The paperback is available from all online retailers and book shops everywhere. 10% of all profits from this book will be donated to drug charities, annually.
You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
Just wanted to post a little update on my book, ‘Personal Use’, now that I’ve had some sales reports. You guys have bought loads of them, more than I ever expected. Thank you! You’ve surprised this old hippy, in a very good way.
And thanks for all the nice tweets, comments and reviews too!
When you write a book, or rather when I wrote a book, I genuinely had no idea how it would be received or perceived. It’s one thing when your friends tell you they like something you’ve written, you know they are biased in your favour. Or polite. Or both. But it is another thing entirely when complete strangers pay actual cash money to read it and then tell you they enjoyed it. It’s kind of blown my mind.
All this is new to me. My career in the media has always been way behind the scenes. I help make other people look good. how I’m perceived has never been an issue, until now.
I’m trying to draw confidence from the positive reception I’ve received. And I’m trying to believe in the book and myself more, which isn’t easy when I’ve spent most of my life undermining my own progress and success. Hey ho.
It’s amazing I’ve had any attention, considering my bumbling and cack-handed approach to promoting it. But if I really believe in what I am doing, I know that it will require a bit more commitment.
I’m ready to make that commitment, I’m ready to do more as the northlondonhippy, but I think I’ve gone about as far as I can go on my own. If I want to take things up to the next level, I am going to need some help. I need to find someone who is good at PR and promotion to work with me. The problem is, I don’t know anyone creative, hungry and up for the challenge of trying to get exposure for an anonymous author who is not comfortable with this sort of thing. Mission impossible, eh?
There’s a lot I am willing to do. I’ll participate in podcasts, do print interviews, radio interviews and I would consider public speaking too. How about a university speaking tour? That would be cool. I’m still in no rush to do anything on television, but that may change in the future. I know part of this is trying to infuse my message with some showbiz razzmatazz. Let’s see how that works out. I’m sure I could get some laughs, probably before I even uttered a single word.
Someone quite nicely described ‘Personal Use’ as a ‘future underground cult classic’, which is a very kind, flattering, over the top thing to say. But let’s pretend, just for a moment, that might be true. What should I be doing to make the most of this once in a lifetime opportunity? What would you do? If you have an answer, any answer, please get in touch. I really do need all the help I can get.
The northlondonhippy is an anonymous author, online cannabis activist and recreational drug user, who has been writing about drugs and drug use for over a decade. The hippy recently published his first book, ‘Personal Use’ which details the hippy’s 35 years of recreational drug use while calling for urgent drug law reform. 10% of all profits from this book will be donated to drug charities, annually. You can also find the northlondonhippy on Twitter: @nthlondonhippy
I might have mentioned that I was interviewed on LBC the other day, by none other than James O’Brien. It was a unique experience for me. I’ve never been the northlondonhippy outside of my home before. I’ve never been interviewed for anything other than a job. So lots of firsts.
It hit home when I arrived in reception at LBC and I had to give my name. The only name LBC had for me is ‘the northlondonhippy’. Guess what I had to say out loud?
Yup.
I prefaced it by telling the guy at reception that “…what I am about to say is going to sound ridiculous, but my name is the northlondonhippy. They’re expecting me.”
When he phoned upstairs, they said someone would come to collect me shortly. Thankfully, they didn’t tell the receptionist to phone security immediately.
My time slot was pushed back slightly, so I got to relax just outside the studio and listen to the programme while I waited.
Mr. O’Brien trailed my interview in a very complimentary way. It was suddenly, very, very real. I was about to be on national radio, talking about my book, Personal Use.
We discussed filming the interview for possible online use, and even talked about me wearing a disguise. They also gave me the option of turning the cameras off, which is what I opted for in the end. So there are no photos or video of my appearance.
Even though my schtick is to call for urgent drug law reform, I’ve framed a lot of it through my own recreational drug use. As that shit is all still foolishly and pointlessly illegal, it’s prudent, for the time being, that I conceal my identity. There may come a point in the future, where that changes and everyone says, “so what”? But for now, there is a personal risk because I wrote “Personal Use”.
Did you see what I did there? I even put it in the title of this post.
So they brought me into the studio a few minutes before I was live on-air and I got to meet Mr. O’Brien. He is as nice and as charming as he seems on the radio and TV. I’ve worked in the media myself for a long time, and his sort of charisma and likeabiity is genuine. And it is also very rare.
All the LBC staff that I met were really nice, friendly and helpful. It meant I was relaxed and comfortable when it was show time.
I put on the headphones and before I knew it, James was asking me questions. And he expected me to answer them coherently and in complete sentences. I did the best I could.
I planned on disguising my voice, but I don’t think I did a great job. I probably sounded more like me that I had hoped. The headphones threw me off a bit, as did being so far out of my comfort zone. I don’t think I could have walked and chewed gum at the same time at that point.
I prepped up on a couple of cannabis and drug law reform topics, thinking I would be able to use them during my conversation with James. I even posted some information to back up my claims, RIGHT HERE.
I didn’t get to touch on either subject. It all went really fast, my 10 minutes in the studio flew by so quickly, that it was all over before I knew it.
I didn’t expect James to spend so much time talking about my book. I know that talking about my book is a good thing, and that’s how author interviews are supposed to go. I guess I don’t really see myself as an author. A writer, sure, but being an author is different. I’ve used the word “author” in promotional material, but I don’t think I’d ever really referred to myself that way in the first person or in my head. Does that make sense?
Maybe I really am an author now.
I was prepared to talk about the wider issues around cannabis and drug law reform. I was ready to explain the difference between Sativas and Indicas and I was going to touch slightly on strains too. And I wanted to try to put the word “skunk” to bed, as it is used incorrectly by the newspapers. I hate inaccuracy. I had material prepared, that I didn’t get to use.
I could easily do a 30 minute interview about cannabis and drug law reform. I didn’t expect to do 10 minutes about my book. Ooooops, my bad.
I’m not complaining. It’s one thing to have people you know tell you what you’ve written is good. But it’s entirely different when you’re being praised so highly, by a very well respected stranger. I really didn’t expect that either. Can you tell I have extremely low expectations? It’s an excellent way to avoid bitter disappointment.
I’ve had a chance to listen back to the interview, once. I can hear every mistake I make, every long pause. I know there are no second chances, but if I could do it again, I could do it so much better.
I don’t think I bombed, I didn’t die on my ass, but I didn’t nail it either. When I do something, I like to do it well. And if I can’t do something well, I don’t bother doing it. I think I could do radio well one day, and if I ever get the chance to be interviewed again, I know I will do better.
Towards the end of the interview, Andrew Castle came into the studio, to prepare for his programme, which followed Mr. O’Brien’s. James makes a joke, and you can just about hear me say that “I recognise Mr. Castle”. I don’t think he even glanced in my direction, but if he did, he didn’t recognise me. Many, many years ago, I did some freelance shifts in the same place he was presenting. I was quite lowly there, and just passing through, so I am not surprised I didn’t make an impression. But for the briefest moment, I thought there might be an awkward flash of recognition. I’m happy to say, that it didn’t happen. Phew!
This might have been my 15 minutes and it really only ended up being ten. You can judge for yourselves how it went, as I’ve posted the full interview below. Happy listening!
Oh and you should check out my book, “Personal Use”. James O’Brien digs it, you will too.
Hey, hey. I’ve been invited to appear live with James O’Brien to discuss my book, ‘Personal Use’. I’ll be on-air Friday 13th January 2017 at 12:30pm.
While I am on the radio, it is likely that the false link between Cannabis and Psychosis will come up. The UK seems to be the only country on earth, where this is an issue. Much of the research has been published in The Lancet, Britain’s best known medical journal. That includes a careful deconstruction of the research, from Dr. Carl Hart and Dr. Charles Ksir.
People are so desperate to demonise weed, that they will misrepresent facts.
To sum it up, while there is a correlation between cannabis use and psychosis, there is no causal link. What that means is that people with psychosis may be more likely to use cannabis, but there is nothing to suggest that cannabis is the cause of any psychosis. It is bad science and bad journalism that perpetuate this myth.
Then click on the share sheet icon on the top right of the screen:
That will bring up the share sheet at the bottom of your screen:
And on the bottom left, is the Gift icon.
Tap on it, fill out the email with the address of the person you want to send the book to and Apple will do the rest.
The recipient will receive an email with a link to redeem their gift. When they click it, the book will be downloaded to their device. And you will receive an email confirming your gift has been received.
For Amazon’s Kindle, they already have a guide to sending ebooks as a gift. It’s HERE.
